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Q: My boyfriend and I are having a lot of issues. We've been together for two years and things are beginning to go downhill. We've had a lot of bad times, but this one is pretty bad.
Nothing has really happened. I am 15 years old and homeschooled. We've been fighting about a lot of things lately, tiny things. Last night, he told me he wasn't sure if he's ready for a serious relationship anymore. We've been very serious and I have no idea what I should do. I am pretty sure that this relationship is really worth the struggle, because we talk about everything. We never cuss and scream at each other when we fight because we know its wrong. We've decided to save ourselves for marriage, and I think thats amazing for a teen relationship thats gone for so long.
My problem is that if we break up, I know that I will lose myself, and I know everyone has to get over someone, but I have depression. So, I think it would worsen me if I had to deal with normal crying breaking up and depression all at the same time. Any advice?
(Also, I don't really have any friends to help me cope with this)
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Communicate. Let him know how you feel about all of this and ask him how he feels, all the good and bad things. Has he noticed that you've been fighting about a lot of things? If not, then ask for both of you to make an effort to avoid that and if you can't, to just stop as soon as one of you realizes. Ask him why he felt that way, or what it is that made him say that last night. I mean yeah he should have said something if he did feel that way, but try to find out why it was he felt that way.
Listen. Try to be there for him as much as you can. He probably appreciates it a lot more than he lets on. It could also be that maybe the guy is holding too much inside and is unaware that he takes it out on you with the 'nothing fights'. That could not be the case, but just be there to listen anyways - even if you don't come up with a solution to a problem, sometimes talking about it [even when you don't give advice] or just listening does help a lot.
Hang in there and see whats up with him. It could just be a temporary thing - the feeling of not wanting a relationship anymore. Is there stuff going on at school? home? between friends for him? Those are the things you should try to key in on to see if there is something or someone that is bothering him or making him feel not as great. Help with what you can. Again, talking it out is something I'd definately do. Hope that helped and good luck.
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Thank you. Great advice! I'll definetly listen to him more and try to see if something is going on, thanks!
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bio
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Feel free to ask me any questions or for an alternate way of contacting me through my inbox.
I really like giving advice, so thats why I have a column here. I've been inactive for a long time, but I'm back and will do my best to catch up. Advicenators is a great site and it is what we make it. Having my own advice column helped me learn a lot of new things, even about myself, while giving me the chance to help others along the way. Thanks.
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Info
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Gender: Male Location: New York Occupation: Student Age: 18 Member Since: August 10, 2005 Answers: 674 Last Update: July 10, 2009 Visitors: 54816
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