About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18299
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Hi again Lucretia :)
Just following up on the guy I like. I hope you remember the situation? Basically he's a friend from home and we go to different Universities so it's really hard to get to know him, and I wasn't sure if he liked me or not. That's not much innfo lol but the last email was ridiculously long and I'm trying to avoid it again!
Well I sent him the birthday card - I should have combined it with the V-Day card like you suggested but I had already sent it :S Anyway, I decided the day after to send him a casual email, but I hadn't heard anything from him by this Tuesday just gone. So like anyone normal I decided that I'd had enough of waiting around and I'd forget about him. Naturally being a bloke, and therefore akward, he must have some kind of built-in radar, as he contacted me the next day! I had left my house for a meeting and was set to "Away" on MSN and he left me a message saying Hi, thanks for the card, he'd not been ignoring me - he'd just had no credit and that he hoped I was okay, with 2 kisses on the end! So I thought "awwwww!". So it seems to me he's at least interested in keeping in touch, which obviously is where we ned to start from if anything were to eventually happen between us.
Now, my question concerns what to do next. I think he quite likes me, although obviously I don't know the extent of it and I'm not daft enough to ask him lol! (I didn't send the V-Day card in the end btw). Ideally I'd just like to keep in touch so I can get to know him, but again he has no credit, so texting's out. He didn't reply to my previous email (just left a message on MSN) so I'm not sure there's much point in that. And he's not on MSN that often which is a bit of a bitch. Ideally I want to wait for him to come to me, but you know what men can be like! So any suggestions on how I can keep in contact without looking like I'm desparate?
Thanks for taking the time to read this, it's greatly appreciated :) If you'd like to add me to MSN that'd be really nice (though you don't have to!) - it's ellamouse9@hotmail.com. xXx
Thanks for getting back in touch:I'll certainly add you to MSN(I'm lucrece_13@hotmail.com).
As for your problem , ithink we have good news, though it's obviously early days yet. Your friend could well be one of those guys who's poor at keeping in touch, and it doesn't hurt to help him along by dropping a note to him online when he's there, etc. Here, though, I must just enter a chill note of warning;you must have come across Greg Behrendt's bestselling "He's just not that into you". I don't normally like recommending books which have generated a craze-but this book has a solid core of common sense combined with cold fact. I just don't know, but it's possible that this man is either not all that interested, or worse, has another full-time girlfriend where he lives and is keeping you hanging on. Harsh thoughts I know, and I'm by no means saying that they're the case, but I flatter myself that I know men(at least a little better than I did). I was had that way by my first boyfriend-never online, always out of credit;it transpired that he'd been sleeping with three other women at his university.
Thus, I would recommend going carefully with this guy. He might be the nicest man in the world and just be scatty-if so, he will eventually pull up and start to contact you. (For that reason alone, it's a wise idea not to bombard him with messages-which you already know). But if he's an asshole, or simply just not that interested, then you won't have lost anything. You should start looking around your own area a bit-it's easier if your partner's in your own university town(easier said than done I know-if you're obsessing over one particular guy, then the very thought of another can be at best tedious, at worst almost repulsive). Either way, try not to give this man too much thought-hang out with your girlfriends, concentrate on work, hobbies, etc. If you leave him to cool off a bit he'll come round if he really wants.
Good luck, and MSN me any time.
Lucretia xx.
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(Rating: 5)
Concise and reliable as always, thank you so much :)
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