About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
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This guy that I really like in my senior class has been dating this girl who behind his back makes fun of him. He is so in love with her, he'll buy her a dozen roses for no occasion and bring them to school for her. I also heard he spent hundreds of dollars on a bracelet for her birthday. I know what she's been saying behind his back because she's in my french class. The other girls wanted to see her new bracelet and she just rolled her eyes and said "this is the THIRD one he's bought me"!. She is such a superficial bitch. She's also said she's only with him because his family has money. She's also a bigot, I've heard her making derogatory comments about homosexuals and african americans. I also heard she's cheating on him. I don't know what he sees in her. She is very popular and pretty, but has the personality and kindness of a dead squid. He would be heartbroken if he knew what she said about him and did behind his back. He is such a nice guy, I feel sorry for him. Should I tell him or just keep my mouth shut? Or, before I forget, HIS friends make fun of him behind his back for how hard he's fallen for her.
Yesterday I answered a question so similar to this one that I wonder if you are the same person that I answered before. Whether you are or not, my advice is basically the same as the other columnist's-don't interfere. Your crush's girlfriend sounds like 100% poison-it's terribly sad when beauty and popularity obscure someone's nature. But this "love" that your friend has for this girl is an immature "calf love" which is only really extreme infatuaion. He will find out in time-someone will tell him, perhaps one of his "friends" (it sounds as if he's too nice a guy, and keeps getting taken for a ride-his friends should make him wise to this bitch instead of sneering behind his back: I'd normally expect more of guys). It sounds to me as if you're the only true friend he has,the tradgedy of which is that he doesn't realise it, so caught up is he in his false girlfriend. I would still say wait it out, and let one of the guys tell him, as guys are usually ulinately loyal (they may not as yet realise the extent of her duplicity).
I suppose though that if he does find out from another source, he'll wonder why you didn't tell him sooner, and that is what makes your situation so tough. Tell him if you need.(Or even record her, as the previous columnist suggested). She sounds so bad that your liking him is not an issue-whatever your feelings, noone should believe in a girl like her.
Good luck, and keep us posted.
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(Rating: 5)
Thankyou, I really liked the advice you gave.
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