About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18300
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I am a 17/f in my senior year in high school. I am not very popular, and hang out with the loser, or nerd crowd. The few friends that I have are not very nice to me, but I put up with them because I would rather have some mean friends then none at all. Well last week, one of my "friends" told the most popular guy in our class that I was checking out his butt. ( This wasnt true, but because my face went red they all assumed it was). I was mortified and just walked away. All my friends laughed at me, and the guy just looked uncomfortable. There was just me and my two friends, and him. He had none of his popular friends there to witness this. Well anyways, the next day I kept catching him staring at me. When I would look at him he would look away. This would also happen in our english class. Well on friday, we had a grad council meeting in the cafeteria. He was there, and when no one else was looking, I had to walk by him. This is when he gave me a huge smile, in kind of a sexy, flirtatius way. I was shocked and never said anything. Anyways, my question is: do you think he may really like me? I find it hard to believe because he's the class valedictorian and jock, and can have any girl in school. I also heard he doesnt have a gf right now. Or do you think he's just playing a trick on me?
First off,I have to say that I am staggered by the immaturity of your class group. Seventeen year olds behaving like that?! I don't like to brag about Britain(and goodness knows there are enough things wrong with our culture) but at least in my school, noone was still playing these petty, cruel and spiteful games so late on in school.
To cut to your immediate problem, I have a nasty feeling that this jock is just stringing you along because he feels the need to enhance his status, and making you uncomfortable, perhaps even making a fool of you, is sadly what cuts a dash in your school's most unfortunate culture. Having said all that, he could be a genuinely nice guy who really likes you, and if he's really popular enough, that won't affect his staus-he's still him whatever. I would still say to go carefully though.
Good luck, and I guarantee that these situatiations occur less in college. lucretia x.
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(Rating: 5)
Thankyou for giving such kind and thoughtful advice. I hope he's not stringing me along, but I'll take your advice and be careful. Once again, thankyou!
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