About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18271
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I know I like one of my friends... a lot, and he's going out with someone. He's in love with her, but sometimes it feels like he likes me too, but maybe I just want it that way... I know his girlfriend, but she's not my friend. There's this whole controversy with his girlfriend and one of my other friends. One of my other friends had told her that he loved her and she said the same. When the guy I like found out about this, he refused to believe it... and I know that it's true. It's been going on for a while, and I feel kind of bad... He doesn't know that I like him... and I have no clue what to do... I really like him. What should I do?
Two words. Butt out. I know that it sounds frightfully harsh, but you can't do anything about this situation, and if you try to, you will look as if you were deliberately meddling in order to get your crush away from his girlfriend. I know she doesn't deserve him. I know that it sucks that you love him but he loves her and she isn't even worthy of his love, but trust me he will find out for himself:people like her expose their true character sooner or later, without any help from anyone else. And that is the point at which you can come in, when she's broken his heart and he feels lost. I'm not saying that you'll get him- he may never see you as more than a friend, but you'll at least have a chance, which is what you won't have if you interfere now.
Good Luck.
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(Rating: 5)
Hey... That was what I was planning to do. =) You just kind of worded it a bit better. Heh. Well, thank you so much for your advice. I just wanted to hear someone else's opinion, and I think you're right so thanks again. `xoxo
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