About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
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Ok, skip the whole. "oh my god, you are so stupid for breaking his heart" stuff. I just need help, I know what I did was wrong.
Ok, first off. I'm trying to get my ex back. I dumped him for another guy, who turned out to be an ass, and i realized what i did was wrong. i miss him a lot and i would do anything to have him back. I have talked to him about this before and he said it was not going to work out. since then we have been good friends, but now im starting to like him again, and he knows. he told me to call him on december 23rd when he gets new minutes on his phone so we can talk about it and i can tell him why i want him back so badly. he is afraid to get back together because he doesn't want me to break his heart again, and i swore on my life i wouldnt. because i won't. i just really miss him and like i dont know if he wants me back or not. im not afraid to call him, just afraid that its going to be a blunt "NO" answer. but why would he make me wait that long for a simple "NO"?
If anyone can help, it would be greatly appreciated. thank you! i give 5s if anyone helps me.
I love your question, partly because it deals with the topic of hope(which is exactly what we need at this cold and bleak time of year)and partly because I am at the exact point of my re-watching of Sex and the City where Carrie and Aiden get back together. Thus, fresh from SATC, I can tell you that no, he wouldn't make you wait that long for a simple "no".(I know, I know, it's only television, but sometimes life does follow art).
My only concern would be for your future, when and if you do get back together. Are you perhaps the sort of person who only wants what you can't really have? If so, beware, for remember what happens later on in SATC, when Carrie and Aiden are reunited. She can't commit, which is why she can't free herself of the equally commitment-phobic Mr. Big. The tone of your letter suggests(forgive me if I err)that you get quite a high from the ups and downs and the uncertainty of it all. You perhaps crave the drama that was lacking with your ex first time round, which is why you cheated. If this scenario I painted rings any bells, don't worry. I understand it, because I'm like that myself. My only advice would be to remember these feelings that you have now(perhaps even save this question)and take it out and look at it next time you feel bored with your ex(we hope soon to be reunited)boyfriend. Of course, it could well be that the jolt caused by this split will be quite enough to ensure your seeing your boyfriend in a new light. Noone wants a puppy dog who is always at their beck and call:good on your ex for holding you off! That said, I really hope it works out.
Good Luck!
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(Rating: 5)
thanx
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