About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
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OK well here it goes. My friend Marissa is my bestfriend but shes been really EXTREAMLY getting on my nervs latly. Shes making me think of her as a skank that leads guys on. Everytime i meet a new guy and talk to him after a while she ends up finding him too, which i dont mind at all dont get me wrong, but then they start talking more and more cause she talks "dirty" to them. She says shes only kidding when i confront her about it and she THINKS they know that but OBVIOUSLY the guys do NOT know she is. Ive asked my guy friends and they think shes serious. So that makes them better friends with her then me now and like her more! And it really pisses me off cause they all end up liking her more. Im with her all the time so its kinda hard to have them avoid her and i dont want them too cause im not like ganna keep her from sharing my friends too..I mean i want her to have my friends too! But the thing that really gets me is if they like me and then she talks to them then they like her more cause she talks "dirty" to them and says she loves them and things like that. I know im jealous ill admit it but it pisses me off when they end up liking her more. Im not like that im not ganna go talk dirty shit to all my guy friends. Like i said she says shes kidding but they dont get that!! Everything she does they like better. GOD! It even makes me mad just talking about it! I know i dont sound like a good friend but wtf its annoying! Theres one guy that flirts more with me then with her and guess what she doesnt like him. Like i had a birthday party a month ago and she wanted me to invite all the guys that like her more then me but are still good friends with me but NOT the one that pays attention to me!! I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL I SHOULD DO! Could someone PLEASE tell me how i can like get this to stop bugging me or what i should do? Im ganna go crazy one of these days!! THANKS SO MUCH! Sorry this is so long and ill rate 5's cause its so long and i sound like a maniac. LOL!
I can really identify with you. My best friend, who is probably some years older than yours, used to display a modified version of the same behaviour. She would come up and talk to guys, naturally and without difficulty, while I stood by, tounge-tied and shy. Guess who always walked away with he guy? You got it! Thing is though, none of her relationships ever lasted. What I am trying to get at with this somewhat rambling parralel is that you can't feel jealous of your friend for being different from you. Neither of you would be happy in the other's position, for you are two entirely different people. Instead of jealousy, you should feel pity, because the kind of guy who prefers a girl on account of her freedom with the horny talk is not ultimately the kind of guy that a happy girl would want.
What's more, Marissa clearly understands this,if only on a semi-conscious level; I suspect that her disregard for the boy who prefers you could mask an interest in him, or at least an angry curiosity as to why he isn't into her. Be happy at the interest of this boy, and don't be discouraged by the others-believe me, unless Marissa wises up, you'll be certain to have the last laugh. I can only hope that, when you do, your friendship is strong enough to sustain her inevitable jealousy. Meanwhilr, start looking around for other friends.
Good Luck!
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(Rating: 5)
Wow thank you so much!
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