About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18294
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ok. 15/f
my boyfriend and i have been together for a year. but jwe broke up about 2 weeks ago. is there a way i can keep him as my friend but not cry myself to sleep.
Your question should, I suspect,really be" How can I stop crying myself to sleep?" Correct me if I'm wrong, but if you feel that being friends with him would hurt that much, chances are you're really hurting anyway.
And this is where the situation gets sticky;a clean break, or the gut-wrenching but sometimes neccesary morass which is post-relationship friendship. I know from bitterish experience that one person's friendship is another's barely disguised longing to get back together;from your question I would guess(again, sorry if I'm wrong)that you are the one who would want to reinstate the relationship. If this is the case, then the only advice I can honestly give is to take a deep breath and forget about "friendship" for a while. It doesn't have to be forever, just until you're sufficiently over him to be able to enjoy his company without longing every moment to get back together. In the meantime, make other freinds, hang out, enjoy your own company and that of your girlfriends. A year is a long time to have dated at age fifteen. You have to give yourself time to feel better. Good luck.
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(Rating: 5)
you gave the best lol thanks
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