TheHeadHonchoPoncho57's advice column

13/m Long story short, I like her a lot, I told her, she doesn't like me back. Here's my current problem: I think she's ignoring me. Like at schoool everything's just too weird to talk to her. Awkward, let's say. So I've been trying to patch things up. I tried inviting her over one day. Saturday, she was babysitting. Sunday, she had rehearsal for a play. Same thing happens week after week after week. Just today I tried asking her to come over. Same story. No good. I really want to make things all better. I want to be able to just talk to her, which we haven't done in months except for on AIM. Our only 3 classes together, we're across the room, which sucks. So we don't even see each other much. We used to goof off a lot as friends. Like all the time. Things were cool. But now they're not.

Last night was a school dance. I had asked her a few days earlier. She said she had rehearsal. So I went with three of my friends to eat food and drink punch & soda. And guess who was there, that's right her. So those three guys were like pushing me to talk to her, bribing me, etc. Eventually, I talked to her. Apparently, she sent me an e-mail (I checked this morning, it didn't go through) saying that the rehearsal was cancelled. Then this girl started teasing me about my e-mail address (I made it up when I was 7) and the one I like hugged me.

It's not the first time. Third, actually. First time was last year in science. I told her I was feeling like crap. She hugged me. I got scared, never having hugged anyone outside of family before. So I rejected it. Second time, we were at a carnival. She had persuaded me to get on all the wild rides. Hardly anyone was there yet, so there was no line. After the fifth one, I started vomiting. "Oh my god, are you OK?" and hugged me. I stood there and just murmured that I was fine. Third time was last night at the dance. It's my best one yet---I stood there. Yes, that's right, I just stood there. Then I did the stupidest thing in the world---I cut it short for the $5 I had been bribed for.

I'm such an idiot. I've been waiting for another moment in which she would hug me, and here it is. What do I do? I run away to get $5. (In the end, all he gave me was a quarter...) But I couldn't help it. I literaly couldn't think! My mind was drawing a complete blank! The only thing going on in my head was in my subconcious, saying "Get out of here, fast!". My concious side was just scared and confused, and didn't know what to do. For those of you who have read Flowers for Algernon, it was exactly what Charlie was feeling. Whenever he got too close to Alice, his inner child would pull him back and prevent him from doing anything. I guess my inner child was still scared of commitment and everything. I want to hug her, considering it's the first of many steps to a successful relationship, but there are no opportunities in the halls at school, and as I said before, there's never a good time for her to come over. So I guess I'm just doomed to be a hopeless freak with subconcious fear of so much as a hug...

I guess my three big questions here are:
1) Is she ignoring me?
2) If so, how do I prevent it?
3) How can I hug her?

I know it sounds really pathetic. All I want is a hug. There's all these people here asking about banging and stuff, and here I am, eager to get a hug. But you have to realize that I've never had a relationship before, and I don't believe in dating unless there are true feelings. And if you believe that teenagers don't know love, I acknowledge that fact, and I'm not the same as every teenager on Advicenators. Besides, it's important to get a feel for what dating is like before we start the real thing, eh? And don't treat me like a little kid. I may be 13, but I'm not stupid. I'm just socially distressed. No smartass answers either, please. And if you give a response that doesn't have any advice in it, you are liable to be reported, as one of the rules in the Terms of Service is that you may not give unhelpful advice. I usually rate. Thank you a lot.

You asked a really long question, so I'm just going to have to give you a really long answer ^_^

1) Do not keep trying to push it, like asking her to the dance and all. She doesn't seem to be interested in you. To tell you the truth, I think it's you who is creating all the trouble. "Like at schoool everything's just too weird to talk to her." "I literaly couldn't think! My mind was drawing a complete blank! The only thing going on in my head was in my subconcious, saying "Get out of here, fast! My concious side was just scared and confused, and didn't know what to do." Because she rejected you romantically, you're freaking out that she's avoiding you. So you push yourself away from her. I infer from your descriptions that she wants to stay friends with you (she hugged you and wanted to go on the rides with you, right?), but doesn't want it to go further than that.

2) I highly doubt that she is ignoring you. Girls get past the "boys are icky" phase quicker than boys. In fact, most girls by that age would probably feel flattered that you have a crush on her. Maybe the times that you asked her over were just busy for her. Wait a while, and ask her again. But if you keep trying to push it romantically, she WILL avoid you because she doesn't want to get romantic with you.

3) Don't accept bribes for things like "cutting it short." It makes you look really foolish, and if she found out, she would be really angry and embarassed. I HATE it when guys do that. (I'm not saying that you're foolish, but just keep that in mind next time)

4) If you wanna hug her, wait for a time that the two of you are talking. It takes courage. I know. If you're on the brink of doing it, remember that you have nothing to lose, and JUST DO IT.

Lastly, good job for realizing the fact that you are too young for love. It takes real maturity for a 13-year-old boy to understand that.

Good luck!

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(Rating: 5) Heh... you call that a long answer? You should see TheOldOne's column...

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