About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18297
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I am Male 13.
I have liked this girl now for 5 years.We are the best friends you could ever hope for. But she doesn,t like me any more than just being friends. Now for a while I was fine with it, I just kept thinking I dont like her anymore and it worked,m for a while. I went to camp over the summer and she met,What she called a really hot boy. This made me realize I still like her. Now when ever i am around her I hurt. Now heres the question i dont know if i should quit being her friend or talk to her which is really hard when on the subject of me and her. Plus it doesn,t help that i feel stupid for feeling this way, should I feel stupid.
No,you shouldn't feel stupid, but neither should you stop talking to her. Five years is a long time to have been friends with someone, and if you cut that off you would lose her friendship without gaining her love, and that,trust me my friend, would hurt like very hell.
I have no more idea than you whether or not you should approach her in a romantic way. See, here's the deal-it might be that she doesn't, never has and never could see you as anything other than a friend. Or it just might be that you guys have been friends for so long that the thought of you as a boyfriend has merely never occured to her, but that if it did,she would welcome it. You will only discover which of these two scenarios is the true one by(very gently) probing her. Try putting a hand on her arm from time to time, just when you're talking normally. Hug her on parting(if you already do that, tying doing it for a second longer than normal). If she flinches away or seems unhappy with this, then there's your answer. If not, then you still have the problem of her"really hot guy". If they break up, you have the ideal oppurtunity to prove yourself as the man she's been waiting for. (in fact, you should wait until that happens to try the touching and hugging).
Whatever happens, remember that you are, first and foremost, her friend. Keep that whole and try not to let jealousy(which is not a sign of love)get in its way. The best of luck, lucretiax.
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thanks thanks and more thanks
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