About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18292
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hey!
well i still like my ex a ton. & tonight he IMed me & was like "you coming to my game tomorrow?" so i guess he wants me to go to his football game. We had to break up because it would be hard because hes in high school (9th) & im still in middle school (8th) what does this mean? I give 5's! thanks!
Firstly, you didn't "have" to break up. You decided to (and I would be interested to know whose idea it was: his, yours or a combination of both). I'm not saying exactly that it was a bad idea, but ask yourself why it was done? Did he, for example, suggest that he wanted "no strings" (in which case, he isn't worth taking seriously as he isn't trustworthy).
If, however, it was a purely mutual decision,then you should by all means continue seeing each other, whether with or without sexual involvement is your choice(though i would recommend caution, since semi-casual sex can be a real killer, the worst of both worlds).
Many people on this site ask questions very similar to yours-to all of you, I would say one thing-love your ex,but don't build your whole world around him/her. Don't spend ages obsessing about every conversation, feverishly scanning it for signs that they still want you. Not only is such behaviour unhealthy, it is counterproductive. Noone likes someone who is too devoted, or constanly at their beck and call.
Having said that, it's good that you two are still in contact, and IM in particular is a godsend for people in your position as it can, if you need,take off some of the pressure that can come with phone calls.Go to the game. Hang out with your ex, enjoy each other as friends, at just see what happens. The best of luck x.
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(Rating: 5)
thanks
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