About lucretia
I have been on this site a little while now, and while I have never been one of its more prolific columnists, I do read a helluva lot more questions than I answer. The reason for this is that I feel that a lot of the questions are very similar, so I tend to pick the better worded and/or more interesting ones among them:plus I without fail will answer anything you care to drop in my inbox. But for those of you whose questions I do not specifically address, here are my top five tips to make the world(and advicenators, which is after all the hub of the universe) a better place:
Enjoy!
1)You will generally be happier if you are not
constantly taking your emotional temperature. So much stress is placed these days on FEELING, that people forget that the way to FEEL happy is to DO. So get over yourself and take up skateboarding, drumming(which I highly recommend) "mumblety-peg, if that's where your heart lies". Whatever it is though, just get on with it and you'll be allright.
2) If s/he says "you're too good for me", then s/he isn't interested. End of story.
3)Honour thy father and thy mother, unless they're actually beating the crap out of you, in which case you need to call on outside agents to mediate.In all other cases though, take it easy on your folks-you won't regret it later in life.
4)In 90% of cases, cheating is unaccepatable and inexcusable. If you think that your partner is part of the 10% (or whatever random minority)of excusable cheaters, then ask yourself why. Is it because you're such hell to live with that it's a miracle that anyone would date you, let alone stay faithful? If it is , then you have one of two problems; you either have a personality disorder which makes you undateable, or you have such low self esteem that you believe yourself undateable. In either case, you need help, so go to a counselor, therapist, doctor, whatever, just sort it out.
5) Read self-help books. Just take them with a pinch of salt. Seriously, they make great reading, and can give remarkably sound advice, but you must not believe every word they say, or you will very possibly end up resembling , if not actually becoming , a speed freaked zombie wearing day-glo juicy couture. By self help books, I mean any thing which gives you x number of rules to live by, and suggests that the key to fulfillment lies within these rule(a bit like I'm doing now-book my '07 convention early to avoid disappointment.10% discount for advicenators columnists).Books to approach with caution include "The Rules" and the "Surrendered" series by Laura Doyle. But the jewel in the self help crown has to be the beautiful "The Bitch Rules" by Elizabeth Wurtzel. If you can read this book and not smile, laugh, and just feel unfettered joy at living, you are either the aforementioned zombie, or you are living in some banana republic. In either case, you are beyond my help,but I feel you.
Take care!
Lucretia
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Website: My LiveJournal
E-mail: lucrece_13@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Student
Age: 22
Member Since: September 9, 2005
Answers: 155
Last Update: August 29, 2006
Visitors: 18268
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Ok, my girlfriend is on the Flagline at her school, so she has to be at all of the games on friday. I usually see her on fridays and saturdays. I'm a guy, and she's the first girl I've ever been, lets say, sexually involved with. And friday's I want to do 'stuff' (stuff being seuxal activities) but she says she's too tired. I know she likes to do it, because every time we do, I please her (and I know this for a fact)I guess I just don't understand how you can be too 'tired'. I could work all day and still have more than enough energy to do 'stuff'. Sometimes we do 'stuff' saturdays, but it makes me mad when she's too tired. I just get frustrated and feel like she doesn't love me. I don't understand why I get mad, it seems like a perfectly good excuse. Please help me understand this. Thank you.
Ok i think there are two issues here: one, your burgeoning sexuality(and its attendant insecurity) and two, your communication with your girlfriend. I really hate to generalise, but it is,I believe,a proven fact that guys your age are more highly sexed than girls of the same age. So it's quite natural that she should feel sheer physical exhaustion at the prospect of endless ,ahem "stuff" (why not just say making out......)
None of this, however, touches on what I believe and you suspect to be the real issue, which is "how much does she love me" I'll tell tou this much- girls are tricky. We stand convicted! Guys are too sexually demanding, we withdraw. Not demanding enough, we write them off as losers. Having said that, there is a golden mean, a perfect level of sexual communication, which with a little effort, you can attain. LISTEN TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND. If she says she is too tired, withdraw a little. Hold off, let her come find you if she horny. And if she just isn't, well, the time may come when you should go your seperate ways. Sorry for the long-winded answer, hope i helped, Lucretia xx.
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(Rating: 5)
Well, because making out isn't all we do. Thanks.
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