A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
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i shave my vaginia a lot and i get realllyy bad razor burn but i really need a way of healing it because i have a boyfriend and he can not see it!!!!!!!
do you know how to cure razor burn???
(link)
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Beard trimmer.
Like this one.
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6004598
Bear trimmers are great. You can use it to trim your hair, and it goes down to the stage right after stubble. Small enough to not get in the way, or have the whole "untamed forest" look. Long enough that the hairs are relatively soft.
You will never have razor burn again.
Reccomend buying a mirror to go with it.
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Okay,
For almost 3 years now, I have spotted all kinds of signs my younger sister whom is now 19 years old is on drugs. I found a crack pipe in her bedroom, Ciggeretts, empty bottles of alcohol, A bong, and I even found Marijuana pictures posted on her Myspace photo albums. However, Whenever I tried to mention it to my Mother on how much it really bothers me and that she is doing drugs my mother always seems to be in disbelief. She told me that my sister uses the empty bottles of alcohol and the pipe as well as the bong for "Room decoration" Now I am smart enough to know that is just complete crap. (I am 23 years old) It's fustrating too because I really care about her but whenever I try to comfront her about anything it only leads to a major verbal arguement. I know my mother can't be that uneducated to know that my sister is not using these objects for "room decoration" Why won't she admit it? How can I get her to believe me? I am sick of smelling it coming from the vent and I'm tired of smelling it around the house.
Thank you
BahaiMa22 (link)
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Crack pipe?
You had me worried when you said that. Then you continued with details that lead me to believe she is just drinking and smoking pot. I think you probably found a marijuana pipe, and will address this from that perspective.
Sidenote: if she's actually smoking crack or doing coke or something, it might be time for a family intervention and talking to more than mom about it.
Now, from what you've told me, your sister smokes pot and probably drinks from time to time.
Your mother is probably not ignorant at all. In fact, MOST parents I think would become very suspicious of whats going on and would not be in this level of denial knowing the objects are there but saying "theyre only decoration"
So, what I think, is that your mother has taken more than a few drags in her life. She's giving her daughter space because she herself has smoked it in the past and isnt too worried about it. Yes, thats right, your parents might well have been party animals too.
Which is why she dodges the issue. She probably doesnt want to get involved and knowingly allows your sister that freedom. From a parents perspective, better in the house where I can watch her than out somewhere I don't know in situations I can't fathom or control.
I doubt you'd find this at all amusing, but given that your mother is covering for your sister, not just saying "yeah I know, it happens" its entirely possible that she's smoking occasionally too.
That would be hilarious. I know its not for you, but if you saw that in a movie, you would laugh.
I wouldnt worry too much. Maybe talk to your sister and have a discussion instead of a lecture. Ask her why she does it. Try to understand her and her motivations. At the very least, it gives you an opening to throw out something like "it is just pot, isnt it? I mean, you're going to make your choices but I'd hope you weren't doing lines of coke or acid or something"
If you're sick of smelling it, thats another issue entirely. Block her AC vent? Tell her to open a window? Burst in on her and get a picture when it starts to smell and show it to your mother and say "if you aren't going to stop her I don't care, but damn it I want clean air in my house this isnt Chicago!"
::Edit::
Also, DO NOT INVOLVE THE LAW.
Police are not your friends. This is a family matter and should remain so. A poster below said "get her in trouble, it will help in the long run"
No, it will not. If she needs a family intervention and rehab, that would be what would help her in the long run if she is an addict. If you want information about that, don't call the cops, call a therapist.
Police have no desire or concern to help her. They don't care. All they want is a conviction or a plea bargain. That means your sister has a record, your family loses money, and it won't make a meaningful impact on anything except your relationship with her. She'd probably never speak to you again. And she still wouldn't stop smoking, as the only truly bad thing that had ever happened to her could be blamed on you, not pot.
She'd be pretty right about it too, in this case.
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So, there is a very nice boy in my grade, and he has always been very kind to me. But, over the summer i started talking to him on IM, and well he wont stop talking to me!! I don't want to block him or ignore him because he is really nice, but I don't know how to tell him to shut up! Also i think he might have a crush on me, and it seems like he always knows my business. Also, he looks at pictures of me on my camp website, and tells me he likes to look at the ones of me in my bathing suit, i think hes trying to be nice and that he has good intentions but i feel like hes taken it too far. how do i let him down easy?? (link)
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Thats pretty creepy.
I mean, he's young and honest and doesnt know any better, but thats still pretty creepy.
Looking up pictures of you in a bathing suit and telling you about it. Be honest, let him know that makes you uncomfortable (even if it doesnt, he needs to learn that the way he's approaching it isnt really ok) and so on and so forth.
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Okay so my friend told me she and her boyfriend had sex like last Tuesday and she was supposed to get her period almost 6 days ago, but she hasn't. She's only 14 and CANNOT tell her parents. What should she do if she is?
I want to try to be the best of friend I can and help her through it, but I'm not sure how. Thanks. (link)
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Tell her parents.
Seriously, if your "friend" is she is going to need the help of adults to do anything about it.
Having sex is an adult responsibility. People who are dragged down by stupid concerns like "I totally CANT tell my parents about this" should not be spreading their legs in the first place.
You should be honest. This is an adult situation and requires adult action and responses and responsibility.
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so i recently purchased an herd grinder
i got a simple 3 piece one with a magnetic top
does anyone else own something like this?
if so how do you keep the magnetic lid closed as to not spill any contents?
also, is it bad to keep herbs in the grinder portion for storage? will they be ground too fine?
thanks in advance! (link)
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Airtight containers keep ground organic matter from drying out, and are your friend.
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I am a 26 yr old female and I am married and have been for 5 years. Its been 9 years since i broke it off with my ex! I see him often and it hurts cause he is with someone new!!!! I love my husband, but I think i love my ex too, should I talk to my ex or leave it alone? I have caught him staring at me at times, could this be a sign of things still on fire? (link)
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Leave it alone.
You are old enough to realize that emotional and physical attraction isnt something to explore when you're married.
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i don't wanna know the risks.. && yahdy yahda.
if you fall down the stirs when you are pregnant, &&the baby dies.
1)how can you tell?
&&
2)do you just leave it there, or how does it go away?
i'd prefer answers other than "go to a doctor" caz i know that's really the answer, but without a doctor, is there any way of telling. (link)
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This website now has an archive of your post.
What that means, is that if you fall down the stairs and have a miscarriage, you can have felony charges pressed against you.
If you hurt yourself enough to cause a miscarriage then you will more than likely hurt yourself enough to need emergency transport to the hospital. Doctors are not stupid. They can generally tell what different kinds of trauma means, and you are putting yourself in plenty of legal risk, not to mention the generally screwed up nature of purposefully throwing yourself down stairs to get rid of a pregnancy.
Things like this are why you are far too young and immature to have sex. If you are willing to risk life, limb, and criminal charges rather than dealing with the consequences to actions you chose to take in a safe and responsible way, you need to close your legs until you are mature enough that "telling mommy and daddy" isnt the thing you are trying hardest to avoid.
Close your legs and go see a damn doctor.
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So on Friday me and my boyfriend had sex, it was my first time & since he sneaked into my house he could'nt be able to buy a condom so instead we had unprotected sex ( i really don't wanna hear your smart comment about well you really should used a condom if you did'tn wanna worry about that!) cause i know it was stupid of me and that will the first and last time i ever have sex without a condom. But anyways, it was my first time and so was it his too we had no lub or condom so it hurt soo bad but im so scared that i might get preg cause at once he was about to bust and then he took it out and then did what he had to do to cumm...But then i told him to wipe it off he wiped it off with his hand and made sure he did'nt have any cum anywhere on his penis and then we went on...im scared of precum i've been doing research on that..and it says theirs a possibility you can get pregnant of it or maybe that might have cum and im so scared!
So what is precum? & can they feel it when they let it out? & how do you know if they precummed inside you?
please help me im so stressed out right now. (link)
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Relatively high chance that you're pregnant. If you aren't its because you're pretty damn lucky, and for no other reason.
If all he did was wipe it off before continuing to have sex with you then you most definitely got plenty of semen in you.
Wait for your next period. If you miss it, wait a week from when it should have started and take a pregnancy test. Take another the week after, and another the week after that.
If either of the first two come up pregnant, the third should be at a doctors office to make sure. If none of them come up pregnant then you are most likely in the clear, as your body should be producing the hormones that will show pregnant by three weeks after a missed period.
Not a guarantee, but its the best certainty you'll get.
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On the my toolbar there is this red circle with a white X. and it says windoes has dected spyware infection. and all this other stuff. How can I fix this? (link)
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Programs to get and run.
http://free.avg.com/
AVG Virus scan.
One of the best out there, updated regularly. I'd say second only to Norton, but better imo because you can uninstall it without destroying your computer.
Its a trial version, worth buying but if you want to just install and run it once completely free.
http://www.malwarebytes.org/
Malware bytes. Good anti spyware program.
http://www.safer-networking.org/en/index.html
Spybot search and destroy.
Absolute must. Best program I've found to date. Its updated sometimes almost daily. Teatimer is great, it keeps track of your system for you and logs changes made. It automatically blocks a bunch of sites and you can scan for hundreds of thousands of possible spyware.
http://phoenixlabs.org/pg2/
Peer Guardian 2. Directly blocks IP addresses known to be associated with anti P2P (anti piracy groups) and with spyware. Good thing to have running alot of the time, it blocks hostile IPs from being able to access or be accessed by your computer. If you download anything via any kind of program this should be running, always.
http://www.neuber.com/taskmanager/index.html
Security task manager. Also a trial version, but it monitors your processes and shows you anything thats out of the ordinary. Spyware running? This can tell you what the program actually is, and can show you what all your system processes are and what theyre connected to so you recognize the processes listed in your task manager.
If you don't use mozilla firefox you should be.
http://www.mozilla.com/en-US/firefox/
and get Noscript
http://noscript.net/
These two are your front lines of defense, as most keyloggers are designed to exploit internet explorer in order to load onto your computer.
Noscript kills the programs that try to invade your computer. Good program, though you'll have to tell it to allow alot of websites you go to frequently.
Once all these come up clean (let AVG do a boot scan, takes like 45 min) and you've used the immunize function on spybot and run a bot check, you should be OK.
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I don't want an answer to make me feel better. I just want an opinion. Is it ever okay for a guy to cheat? Even if he said he was drunk when it happened and he had sex with someone else, though he rememberes what he did during the sex?
I think its a stupid excuse, and he remembered everything but his girl. I just want opinions. I say cheating is NEVER okay.
Thanks. (link)
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Would a court go "oh, you were drunk, its ok that you ran over a mother and her 5 year old son in your shitty car"
No.
Do you think its any more OK that he pretty much ran over you emotionally because he was drunk?
Do you feel ok? I doubt it.
You have every right to be pissed, and you have every right to never forgive him for it. If you forgive him for it you are a saint, though I don't encourage that course of action in the least.
Heres an idea. Ask him if he will have a drink with you. After the first shot, kick him in the balls, and say "oh sorry honey, I was drunk, my judgment was impaired..."
You know, maybe its just me, but I'd actually feel better about being cheated on by a significant other when they were sober.
I mean, sober means they made a choice, and had a reason for it. Whether they were fucked up in the head, they wanted it to be over, they fell out of love with me and with someone else, you have a clear reason why (though the reason might hurt too) and you can figure out how you feel about it and proceed from there.
Drunk? He just didn't give a shit. Its not that hes upset with the relationship, he didn't fall for someone else, its not because there are problems or because there is anything wrong in his eyes, with you.
Hes just a lazy stupid selfish bastard with no self control who found a convenient excuse to chase pussy.
If you kick him in the balls, do the world a favor and do it hard enough that he can't reproduce.
(Sorry, been cheated on by a girlfriend, the subject pushes a few buttons for me too)
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hey there.... i have a very stupid kind of question which is in my mind for 2-3 years.....
i go to gym almost regularly and have been listening to people there saying that if you really wanna improve your performance at gym then u should completely stop masturbating.. i try to control myself a lot of times but still end up doing it atleast once a week (oops)... so can anybody tell me what is the real truth and is there some special time when we should never do it relevent to gym activities.
P.S.- m a male of 19 and m considered as a bit more then average in aspect of gym capabilities and am going to gym since i was 16 ... so its like 4 years. (link)
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No
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ever since i can remember i've felt like i'm living in the wrong time..like i feel like i shoud live in the 80's or 70's. i am obsessed with everything from back in those times and always wish so hard that i could live then instead of now. i feel like back then everything was much easier and relaxed and there wasn't as many world problems and stuff as there is now. all of my favorite movies, music, and actors are from back then but then it sucks becuase the actors are older now so it's weird since i'm just a teen..i just feel like iwas meant to live back then. sometimes i even get depressed about this and people ask me what would make you happy? and really what would make me happy is living in the 70's or 80's but i know that's impossible now. it just sucks because i totally hate this time era. i feel like techonology ruins everything and lets people know things they aren't meant to know, and that's why everyone fights so much. i just feel like all this technology is unnatural, and i feel lke in the 70's or 80's it was at the perfect balance. in my dream world i would be a child in the 70's and a teen in the 80's...i would be so happy. because i feel like techonology and the new world now ruins everything. can anyone help me? i just want to feel better about the time i'm living.and has this happened to anyone else? or do i just have problems? (link)
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I kind of wish I had been born in Japan somewhere between the 16th and 18th centuries when Samurai were still a big thing there.
I just want to be a ninja.
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Okay, so I'm 18/f and I've been friends with this woman on the internet for five years, since I was 13. She's 38, and we're both actresses. I met her in a theatre chatboard and we've become quite close over the last 5 years. Granted, I've never talked to her in person; I've seen photos and Youtube videos of her performances.
Recently, she proposed that we finally meet up in real life sometime. She said that I could come and hang out at her home and we could roast oysters. She told me to give her a phone call whenever I'm ready.
Now, I'm very wary of Internet security. I like this person a lot but I know that there are loads of predators out there on the Internet. Granted, she's never done anything even remotely suspicious or asked for my personal information. In fact, when I was younger she told me that I shouldn't tell anyone about my personal info and gave me tips on Internet security.
However, she very well might be just who she says she is, and I could possibly make a friend in her. If I give her a call, and it is actually her speaking on the phone, am I safe? Are there female predators out there? Is it possible that she could hand me over to a rapist or something?
(link)
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Realistically speaking, no one is going to spend 5 years talking to someone with the constant intention of raping them or something like that.
If you're worried, meet in public with a friend.
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My friend and her boyfriend had sex and I dont know if he came on the bed or not. A few days later she had a sleepover and I slept in her bed. Is there a chance I could be pregnant? My period is late and I'm kinda worried cause' I'm only 16. (link)
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Pretty much zero chance.
It would take an act of God
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I was in a discussion with my best friend about depression. We were listing things that cause people to become depressed and then we got to depressed celebrities. One of the major depressed celebrities today is Britney Spears. Britney Spears has filled so many tabloids up with her depression fits lately.
My best friend suggested that Britney Spears is not really depressed. She said that Britney Spears gained some weight because her career died down and she stopped keeping track of herself, and that Britney Spears has only claimed to be depressed for better publicity. Her reasons for not believing that Britney Spears is really depressed were basically that she has money, fame/popularity, relatively good looks, and a family.
My question is do you really think that Britney Spears, or anyone in her situation, could really be depressed? Maybe I am just missing out on what depression actually is but I think my friend has a point. Britney Spears couldn't ask for a better life--how can she REALLY be depressed? Keep in mind that I am not only referring to Britney Spears--she is just the one who comes to mind in this given situation. (link)
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Are you kidding?
If she weren't depressed, I would think she also wasn't human.
Britneys life is a laughing stock. She has to face every day that being attractive is about the only thing she's really accomplished in her life. Shes famous, but not really popular, and popularity does not beget happiness.
And her family? She married a complete idiot who was worthless in every aspect of the word. She was deemed an unfit mother and actually lost a custody battle to this loser.
How bad a person do you have to be to lose parental rights to K-Fed? Pretty damn bad.
She has to face this every day, that her worth to anyone around her is summed up by her face. She has to face the fact that her example has led her younger sister to do what she did, get knocked up by a worthless guy. Even as stupid as she seems to be, and as self centered, she is going to have issues with these.
Worse, she has no privacy. She can't be upset and distraught and a little crazy in private. People have depression fits every day, but when shes hurting the entire world knows because of the press.
I'd say she has many, many good reasons to be depressed. Happiness in life is not as shallow as an adult as it is as a child. Yes, she could ask for a better life. You have no idea, absolutely no idea, what it is to be famous. I wouldn't want it. Just because everyone knows who you are and what you do, doesnt mean they care about you or like you.
Also, I'm not saying she might not be addicted to attention. She might well be more public about things than she would otherwise be to get attention and coverage.
That being said, shes not faking depressed to get attention, shes flaunting her depression and imbalanced mental state to get the attention that makes her feel better.
Its kinda like 5 year olds and breaking things to get attention from their parents.
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how do you become the life of the party, if its just me 18 my bf 20 and his roommates 20-21 and there gfs? (link)
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My default answer is "beat them at a video game"
Seriously though if you can kick your boyfriend's friend's asses at a video game he wins cool points with them, and they'll ignore their own GFs to challenge you.
Gamer girls are always a center of attention.
Other than that, scheme with the girlfriends.
Make friends with the other two girls, and lead them into fun ideas. Guys will go along with whatever the girls want to do (or do their own thing) but if you're popular with the girlfriends usually the boyfriends are perfectly friendly as well.
Conversely, if you are friends with the boyfriends and try to be the center of attention with the boys, the girls often get jealous, or notice that you're trying too hard and dislike you.
Win the girls over, and everything else tumbles.
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I am a 14 year old male. I just started my first day of high school on September 2nd. Today is September 5th. Schools been relatively good until today. What went wrong is that a bunch of girls wanted to talk to me. Some approached me and I talked to them. The others said hi as I passed and I didn't talk to them. When I talk to or get talked to by girls I get shy & nervous and I stutter and am really slow figuring out what to say. Please help me figure out what to do. Be Yourself doesn't help me, sorry. (link)
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1) Do it ALOT more.
Experience helps everything, my friend. I used to be just like that. What helped me, was throwing myself into conversations that I wasnt comfy with, and sticking with them as long as i could. You learn what to say, you get comfy, also the more you're around any specific girl the easier it gets with her.
2) As questions. Not sure of what to say? Ask a girl a question about what she just said. It can be almost anything, but girls love talking about themselves. I have many times covered nervousness by just acting very interested and encouraging her to talk when I couldn't stop being nervous and attracted long enough to form an opinion of my own.
3) Ice breakers. Ice breakers are when you shatter nervous tension somehow.
In your situation, lets say I was talking to a girl. I had a few standard jokes about being nervous that I'd throw out there to make them laugh with me about the fact that I was nervous.
Once that was established, and they knew I was nervous around them, it became cute. Girls also love compliments, and telling a girl that she's pretty and attractive enough to make your mind go blank is a pretty good one.
Example.
Girl walks up and asks me how I'm doing and what I'm up to.
I'd start stuttering a little
"Ohh...I'm good... I was... (What was I doing?) I'm..."
Shes looking amused, or confused at this point, so I throw out a
"I'm... well I was doing something, and I'm sure I'll be able to remember it the second you walk away and I'm not nervous anymore"
That almost always got a laugh and one of those "Oh youre so cute" looks.
Sometimes followed up with a "what are you nervous about"
Perfect opener for a compliment and a bit of honesty.
"Theres something about being around attractive girls that ties my tongue in knots..."
Its an innocent enough comment, but usually it gets a blush and a smile.
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So I am 17, a college student (majoring in engineering), people tell me I should be a model...Anyways the point is that I have never even went out with a guy before.. my parents always oriented me towards school and self-improvement.. I guess I am starting to get curious about dating a boy (guys only - I am not gay)..but the problem is that nobody ever asks me out.. I am not shy around guys at all..and they always treat me as their friend..why can't I attract a guy? could they just be intimidated by me somehow? what should i do? (asking a guy out myself is completely out of the question!!) (link)
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If you are as attractive as you say, that DOES cause an intimidation factor.
Couple in the fact that you aren't shy, and it makes you kind of unapproachable. Its not a bad thing, its just that if you show alot of confidence in yourself then people will generally assume that its justified, and they'll wonder if they measure up or just assume that they don't.
Basically, most guys have no clue how to start a conversation with you and take it into the dating realm.
Things you can do
1) If you like a guy, smile. Smiling is the "its all good" encouragement tool. Its how you let a guy know that what he's doing isnt making you unhappy. It can be a small smile, or a giggle, or a grin.
Smiling shows interest and attention.
2) Eye contact. Eye contact, likewise, shows interest in a person. It also shows confidence. If you're talking to a guy you like, look him in the eye every once in a while.
3) Physical contact. I'm not talking about anything sexual here. I'm talking about friendly touching.
Example. There is a girl I work with who I'm friends with, who talks to me constantly about another guy at work she's trying to get to ask her out.
She does things, even sub consciously to interact with and be friendly to him. She'll reach out and touch his arm, or side when she needs his attention. She'll give him a little back scratch (like a 2 second scratch in the middle of his back) to show affection. Unfortunately for her he's completely oblivious and probably wouldn't notice until she kissed him that shes trying pretty hard, but thats a separate issue.
Showing guys that you aren't afraid of casual friendly physical contact makes them more comfy around you, and more bold.
Thats when you progress to swatting him and stuff. You know, me makes a smart comment and you smack him lighly on the arm or something. All of it breeds comfort between you and them.
4) Compliment them. Seriously. One of the absolute BIGGEST advantages women have over men is how easy it is to feed our egos to your own advantage. Take a guy who isnt sure he measures up to you. Compliment him. Let him know that in your opinion he DOES measure up.
5) Self contact. This one is a bit of a flirting technique. You can do subtle things that draw his eyes where you want them to go.
Common forms
- Playing with your hair. It makes it seem like your attention is elsewhere and gives him an invitation to check you out.
- Touching your neck. God only knows why, but necks are sexy. Lightly rubbing your neck as if you have a slight itch or ache, or just seemingly unconsciously touching yourself on the sides of your neck draw his eyes there. And necks are sexy.
- Touching other parts. Basically, accentuate yourself with subtle hand movements. Are you wearing something with a little cleavage? Find an excuse to rub the side of your breasts lightly, or just under them. Got hips to show off? Touch your legs or side lightly. Wearing a skirt? Find a reason to do something around your ankle.
Moving your hands around in certain areas naturally draws attention there. With a little self awareness you can have him checking you out because you want too, and getting him interested.
Combine this with eye contact and smiling...
Advanced maneuver example.
You reach up and lightly rub your neck, as if scratching a very faint itch. You lean your head back a little and turn your head to one side and close your eyes, as if enjoying it.
Now rub down as if the itch is moving to the top of your chest below your throat. Now move your hand down and away letting your arm and the side of your hand slide down the front of your breast.
You just drew his eyes to your neck, and down over your chest.
Now look him in the eyes and smile. If you caught him looking somewhere other than your face, when he makes eye contact smile genuinely at him, letting him know you didn't mind him looking and aren't at all upset with him for it.
Little fireworks will be going off in his brain thinking "This girl is attractive, and she doesnt mind me noticing"
Advanced flirting techniques that are very subtle. Practice in a mirror if you have to, so you don't exaggerate anything. The point is to look like you just scratched your neck, absolutely innocently, and you're just so attractive that he can't help but look at you. Thats the way he'll see it, even though you're using your body language to advertise to him.
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14/f
so my best friend is going out with this guy that i absolutley despise with a hot fiery buring passion. she's 14, he's 17. red flag right there already, right? after like 2 or 3 weeks of dating, she had sex with him and gave him a blow job. i got so mad at her, you have no idea. the only thing i really cared about was the sex. she promised me that she would never do that again until she was older so i just kinda blew it off.
well, yesterday she was texting him from my phone. she forgot to delete the texts. i read all of them. she told him it wasn't a good time for her to have sex because she's on her period. and he said back so you want to? and she said of course i do. i saw those and i just wanted to cry.
she's not listening to any of her friends telling her not to do this. she doesn't care. she flat out lied to all of her friends. she doesn't realize or understand what she's doing or what she's doing to all of the people that love her and care about her. talking to her won't do anything, she doesn't listen to what anyone has to say about stuff like this. she's worrying everyone and no one knows what to do. i don't want my best friend being a whore and getting herself pregnant at age 14.
what am i supposed to do? (link)
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You can love a person without loving everything they do.
A good friend once told me that.
Theres not a whole lot you can do. Either accept it, or don't associate with her. Sometimes people go places and turn into people who are no longer compatible with who you are. Part of life.
But trying to get her to stop probably won't work and will drive her away. Its your call. Do whatever you think is right (for you, as well as for the situation)
Parents are a hard call.
On the one hand, they might affect a meaningful change in her behavior, or at least protect her from herself.
On the other hand, they might try to take legal action against her boyfriend. Which in my opinion is fucked since this is obviously consenting.
If you think they are the type of parents who aren't going to go "oh our innocent baby was corrupted" and go after him instead of looking at their daughter and admitting that SHE has judgment issues, I'd leave it alone. Ive seen that happen alot, and usually what happens is the girl goes off and fucks someone new while the guy gets his life ruined by the draconian laws we have in this country.
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15/f
I have never felt so hated nor alone in my whole life like I do now. My parents including my sisters have all turned against me. My parents don't want me having any friends they want me to turn in my checks over to them and they don't want me having any type of communication with anyone . I don't know what to do I'm starting to look at suicide as my last option. I hate feeling so hated especially by my family . I can't talk myself out of this seeing as though everytime I try to I'm a "bad child". What can I do? I don't want to start cutting or think about ending my life but it seems the only way out of suffering. (link)
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1) Money. Money is difficult. Hide your money, it might be important later. Refuse to turn over your checks and don't even bring the money home. I suggest going to a local bank and opening an account with your next check. Deposit all your checks from here on out.
Make it a bank thats not near where you work, in case your parents decide to try to find the money. Refuse to tell them and nothing short of a court order is going to get your money away, and if they find it you can withdraw it and put it somewhere else.
2) You need to give alot more information. Why do your parents hate you? What do they say to you, what have you done to piss them off (even when its not justified, what do you do?)
Suicide is not an option. Suicide is an end without solutions. Options are choices you have that BENEFIT you on some level. Suicide does not.
You need to explain the situation more, if you can. If you'd like, either update this question and then give me a feedback saying you updated so I recheck it, or ask me a private question.
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