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Sister on Drugs, Mom in Disbelief.
Okay,
For almost 3 years now, I have spotted all kinds of signs my younger sister whom is now 19 years old is on drugs. I found a crack pipe in her bedroom, Ciggeretts, empty bottles of alcohol, A bong, and I even found Marijuana pictures posted on her Myspace photo albums. However, Whenever I tried to mention it to my Mother on how much it really bothers me and that she is doing drugs my mother always seems to be in disbelief. She told me that my sister uses the empty bottles of alcohol and the pipe as well as the bong for "Room decoration" Now I am smart enough to know that is just complete crap. (I am 23 years old) It's fustrating too because I really care about her but whenever I try to comfront her about anything it only leads to a major verbal arguement. I know my mother can't be that uneducated to know that my sister is not using these objects for "room decoration" Why won't she admit it? How can I get her to believe me? I am sick of smelling it coming from the vent and I'm tired of smelling it around the house.
Thank you
BahaiMa22
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Crack pipe?
You had me worried when you said that. Then you continued with details that lead me to believe she is just drinking and smoking pot. I think you probably found a marijuana pipe, and will address this from that perspective.
Sidenote: if she's actually smoking crack or doing coke or something, it might be time for a family intervention and talking to more than mom about it.
Now, from what you've told me, your sister smokes pot and probably drinks from time to time.
Your mother is probably not ignorant at all. In fact, MOST parents I think would become very suspicious of whats going on and would not be in this level of denial knowing the objects are there but saying "theyre only decoration"
So, what I think, is that your mother has taken more than a few drags in her life. She's giving her daughter space because she herself has smoked it in the past and isnt too worried about it. Yes, thats right, your parents might well have been party animals too.
Which is why she dodges the issue. She probably doesnt want to get involved and knowingly allows your sister that freedom. From a parents perspective, better in the house where I can watch her than out somewhere I don't know in situations I can't fathom or control.
I doubt you'd find this at all amusing, but given that your mother is covering for your sister, not just saying "yeah I know, it happens" its entirely possible that she's smoking occasionally too.
That would be hilarious. I know its not for you, but if you saw that in a movie, you would laugh.
I wouldnt worry too much. Maybe talk to your sister and have a discussion instead of a lecture. Ask her why she does it. Try to understand her and her motivations. At the very least, it gives you an opening to throw out something like "it is just pot, isnt it? I mean, you're going to make your choices but I'd hope you weren't doing lines of coke or acid or something"
If you're sick of smelling it, thats another issue entirely. Block her AC vent? Tell her to open a window? Burst in on her and get a picture when it starts to smell and show it to your mother and say "if you aren't going to stop her I don't care, but damn it I want clean air in my house this isnt Chicago!"
::Edit::
Also, DO NOT INVOLVE THE LAW.
Police are not your friends. This is a family matter and should remain so. A poster below said "get her in trouble, it will help in the long run"
No, it will not. If she needs a family intervention and rehab, that would be what would help her in the long run if she is an addict. If you want information about that, don't call the cops, call a therapist.
Police have no desire or concern to help her. They don't care. All they want is a conviction or a plea bargain. That means your sister has a record, your family loses money, and it won't make a meaningful impact on anything except your relationship with her. She'd probably never speak to you again. And she still wouldn't stop smoking, as the only truly bad thing that had ever happened to her could be blamed on you, not pot.
She'd be pretty right about it too, in this case.
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I don't believe that your mother is stupid. I believe that she's in a state of denial. Chances are that the reason she continues to defend your sister and argue with you is because she's lying to herself.
And while I admit that I believe that you're mother is handling the situation with your sister very poorly... Try to see your sister through her eyes for a moment. Your mother loves the both of you unconditionally... The thought that one of her children has such a serious problem probably hurts her more than anything you could possibly tell her. I mean... Imagine for a second that you had a child and you just discovered marijuana in their sock drawer. How would you feel? Would you worry that your child might be beyond your help? Would the thought that they might be on a path of self-destruction just rip your heart out?
Because... Chances are you're mother is experiencing those painful emotions. She may be in denial because that is the only way she knows how to cope with the situation. She could be hoping that if she continues to ignore the problem, eventually everything will work out.
So... What do you think would happen if you sat down with your mother and told her first... That you're trying to understand how something like this could cause her to feel? That you know that's she scared and might not feel like there is anything she can do? But that the best way to help her daughter is to intervene. And that, through-out this process, you're going to be by her side to support her and help your sister get better.
If you're mother continues down the path of denial... Try talking to other family members (grandparents, aunts, uncles) about the situation and ask for their advice. If you can't get through to your family, a grandmother, brother or sister might be able to succeed.
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If your mom is really that stupid to think its for decoration and she can't smell it, you need to tell someone else and get your sister in trouble. Try printing the pictures of her & the drugs on her myspace, sneak up on her and take a picture. It sounds harsh and weird, but it's going to help you & her in the long run.
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