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Hey kids! My name is Amanda, but call me Manders. I'm a psychology/neuroscience/biology student. Throw me questions and I'll throw you an answer. :)
advice
...even if we give good advice people rate low if it's something they don't want to hear? Too bad we can't add a comment to their rating.
Yeah, that's been a problem for a long time.
It usually stems from a question like this one I made up:
"My boyfriend hits me and says that I'm fat and ugly... but I don't want to break up with him because I love him!"
Anyone with half a brain would tell her that she needs to get out of the relationship, but there's the possibility that she could give you a low rating.
Some people know the truth, they just want to be convinced that there's another solution. For instance, in the situation I just used, the girl might want someone to say that she can change her boyfriend and give her ways that she can do that.
Anyway, you can file an abuse report if your rating was rediculous.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
k so i have a banquet next month and i like this guy my friends know b/c i tell them everything and my 2 best friends are determined to talk to him and find out if he likes me. im worried tho b/c i dont like being like that. i would just ask him my self but im shy and thats just not me. i wish he would ask me out then i could ask him to my banquet. what should i do? i want him to like me but i dont know how hes supposed to know because im too afraid to tell him
Your friends could still talk to him, as long as they don't get annoying. That would be a definite turn-off.
Make sure it's subtle. Asking, "Hey, do you like anyone?" sounds better than, "Do you like her? DO YOU?! Tell me, tell me!" If your friends keep asking him who he likes constantly, it could be very annoying.
Your friends could also say some good things about you. Like, if he's struggling in math, they could say, "____ (your name) rocks at math! Go ask her for help."
Make sure it's not too obvious, though. Like I said, it's good to be subtle.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
I know this ex-colleague of mine but not really that close to him. I think i have a crush on him but i dont really know if he likes me at all.
He's confident, witty and a workaholic.
However, he gets shy/uncomfortable, when i ask him simple personal questions for eg: Do you go for swimming. I think he has a problem of talking about himself to new people or just not that friendly.
So one day, i gave him some sweets via his secretary (i didnt really know him that well at that time in office) and he was quite startled and stared at me and waited for me to say something when i bumped at him at the doorway.
He had those puppy eyes..but didnt say word!.
I pretended not to appear interested in him becos i was too shy.!
Later, i sent him email and was able to chat with him about work..and he responded quite well except that when i asked him for lunch, he just disappeared and dint reply yes/no.,,which was kind of weird. Cos he could have said no.
I managed to obtain his cellphone and he replies all my sms except the ones on personal questions.
I called him once but he was so weird and acted like a total stranger to me.
So how do i even talk to him tru the phone as a friend, if he's that shy since i dont see him anymore in office?
How do i get him to even talk to me like a normal friend?
Would appreciate your advice.
Shy guys are pretty hard to get to know. Sometimes, they give off a "not too friendly" vibe because of it. That may be why he isn't good with personal questions.
Maybe you can try saying something like, "I love swimming, do you?" Relate to what you're saying.
Do you know what his interests are? I've noticed that when you talk to a shy guy, he seems to open up more when you talk about something he's familiar with. A lot of people are scared of saying something stupid, and talking about something you're familiar with takes some of that fear away. I've known a lot of shy guys, and that's a good thing you can do to get them to open up.
About the phone thing: A lot of people (especially guys) aren't phone people. If he's really shy, that's probably the case.
Did he ever thank you for the sweets? If not, he could be shy, or just plain rude. It depends, really. You didn't know him well at the time, so he could have just not known what to do or say.
My advice to you? Talk to him in person. If you know his interests, talk about them. But, don't let the conversation be all about him; Say some things about yourself, too.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
Me and my friend are going to have a party just for random reasons but we want to rent a place to have it. The place doesnt have to be big just not sooo small. How much money do you think renting a place should be and can u give me some ideas of how to get that money. When you rent a place can you pick your hours or do they pick it for you? I need to get food also please some ideas on what to buy for food and how much all that is. Decorations i need a bunch of lights and all so that is probaly how much money?
First of all, the cost. About renting a place... I honestly have no experience there, so I don't know. It depends on the place, it's size, and other things, like how fancy it is. It also depends on the place if you can pick your hours or not, but I imagine that you could.
Do you want there to be a meal and snacks, or just snacks? I can't tell you a cost because it depends on how many people you plan on inviting.
Here's a list of some ideas:
-Hot dogs
-Hamburgers
-Tacos
-Salad Bowl
-Sodas (Make sure you have a variety. Coke, Sprite, Root Beer, Dr. Pepper, and the like.)
-Chips (Have a variety of these, too. Potato chips, tortilla chips, pretzels, etc.)
-Chips and Salsa
-Cake
-Candy (The little ones that you can get in bags)
About the lights: It depends on which kind of lights you want. Those Chinese lanterns are pretty cheap, and you can get them at craft stores. You can get strings of lights, like Christmas lights. At some places, they have ones with Summer-y designs and colors. Check places like Target and Wal*Mart for those.
I would avoid anything having to do with candles or fire if you plan on having a huge party, though.
For decorations, try a party store. It looks nice if you have a theme, and most party stores have a large selection of decorations for many themes.
Now, how are you going to get the money? Well, it depends on how old you are. If you're 16 or older, you can get a job.
If you're too young for an actual job, that's okay. You can do some of these things:
-Rake leaves
-Mow lawns
-Do more chores around the house
-Babysit
-Walk dogs
-Feed pets while neighbors are away
-Have a garage sale
-Set up a lemonade stand
Good luck with your party!
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
*****I RATE HIGH*****
Hello,
I am a 13 year old girl. I have a Best Friend of 8 years. I love her to death, but she gets mad at me for no reason sometimes. She'll get mad at me, and make me upset in the beginning of the day, and then will talk to other girls about me during the day, then the next morning will act like she didnt do anything to me. Although I am soo hurt inside, and I feel like crumbling up and dieing. She does this constantly. I always try to tell her how I feel about all this but she always yells at me and gets more angry at me. She doesn't know how to except my feelings. She always talks about herself too. Every word from her mouth is about HER HER HER! Everytime I bring something about me, and my life, she immediately changes the subject.
How can I fix this problem, without loosing one of my BEST FRIENDS?
from:
sam
You can't just sit there and not say anything. That won't make anything change. If you just try to ignore the problem, your anger will just bottle up inside of you, and one day you might end up saying things you'll regret.
You said that you tried bringing it up, but she obviously hasn't gotten the point. Because of that, you're probably going to have to talk to her again.
When you talk to her, make sure that you two are alone and that she isn't in a bad mood. Also, make sure that you aren't mean about it. Throwing accusations at her ("You're so mean!") will only make her defensive, and won't solve much.
Say something like, "Hey, _______ (name), I don't appreciate the fact that you get mad at me and talk about me behind my back. If you're angry at me, talk to me about it so we can work the problem out. It hurts my feelings when you do that."
Whatever you do, DO NOT YELL. Even if she says something mean to you, yelling won't solve anything. Just like making accusations, it will make her defensive. Keep your voice firm, but don't sound mean and don't yell.
I know you've already tried talking to her, but there isn't much you can do. If she just acts mean again, I would reconsider your friendship. Just because you've been friends for eight years, doesn't mean that she has the right to treat you the way that she does.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
well my name is meghan and i am in desperate i have never kissed anyone and i want to so bad and i want the right guy but i cant find him if anyone is out there and knows what to do then i am begging you please help me?
You aren't alone. So many teens haven't gotten their first kiss. There are people who are a lot older than you who haven't gotten theirs. There's no rush.
There's no need to "search" for a guy to kiss. If you kiss some random guy, where's the magic, the fireworks, the happiness, and knowing that you kissed someone special? Those feelings wouldn't be there. Think about it, what's better: Kissing any guy now, or kissing someone you know you love a few years from now?
Kisses mean nothing if they're not with someone you care about, so just wait until that special guy comes along and know that you aren't alone.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
Please help! SORRY...THIS IS REALLY LONG, BUT I NEED HELP!!
There is this bratty girl at my school who is like my worst enemy. She is like trying to steal my boyfriend. The other day I caught her blowing kisses to my boyfriend when I wasn't looking. (he wasn't looking either)...Then she is always talking to me and saying "I was with your boyfriend yesterday and we did this...." She always scuzzes me off in the hallways. When this other girl liked my boyfriend a long time ago, she was spreading rumors about her around the school. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and he said "i don't like her, i swear...we are just friends"....i believe him too, he has never lied to me.....so i know that he doesn' like her, but i am 100% positive that the bratty girl does like him...she has even told me. I am totally sick of her trying to steal my boyfriend... what should i do??
*on so many levels*
You need to talk to her, even if you have already, because she obviously hasn't gotten the point.
First off, don't be mean. That won't get you anywhere, it will only bring you down to her level and make you look as bratty as she is.
Also, violence isn't the answer. I know you've heard that many times, but it's true. Slapping her won't make you look good.
Make sure that when you talk to her that you aren't around other people and that she isn't in a foul mood.
Be confident in what you say. Make sure you have the right body language. If you say something but you're looking down and avoiding eye contact, she probably won't take you seriously.
So when you talk to her, stand up straight and maintain eye contact.
Say something like, "Hey, _____ (her name), I've noticed that you've been flirting with my boyfriend. I'm sorry, but it's not right that you're flirting with him because he's taken. Please stop."
Make your voice firm, but don't yell. Yelling makes people defensive, and she probably won't listen to you if you yell.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
hey ummm this might be long.... ok this guy i really like asked me if i wanted to lose my virginity to him....and i was like asking him questions like if we would ever go out and he said he didnt know maybe.... and he also doesnt want anyone to know about it...which i can see that to because i dont want it getting around school either but i have the feeling that he doesnt like me and he just wants to lose his virginity....but i dont know. and like after we talked about doing it around his birthday and then like all of a sudden he asks my best friend out and im like OMG... and they went out for a couple of days........ but i havent talked to him about it anymore because i havent got the chance to... but i dont think he likes me anymore... so does anyone have any advice?
--->confused
If this guy really liked you, he wouldn't have cared if you wanted to lose your virginity to him. He would respect your decision; that you don't want to. If he just wants you for sex, he probably has little or no respect for you or your feelings.
If he REALLY and TRULY liked you, he would continue to like you, even if you wouldn't lose your virginity to him.
He isn't worth your time. Try to get over him. I know it's hard, but time heals most wounds.
Don't mope around. Hang out with your friends. Take up a new hobby. Do what you love. Sooner or later, you'll realize that you're better off without this guy.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
13/f I've been going out with my boyfriend for a few months now. I looked at his buddy profile and he had "Just the Girl" lyrics and "I Love You(insertmyname)!!" under it.
It was soo sweet. Since I finally got my aim to work im setting up my profile and I want to do the same kind of thing but I want (of course) a different song. I cant think of any off the top of my head, so could someone please tell me some songs that would tell my bf how much I love him to put up on my buddy profile??
I rate 5s
Thanks!!
There's a good song that I think would work... it's either called "Baby, I'm Amazed By You" or "Amazed." I know it's by Lonestar. I don't know if you like country music, but the lyrics are sweet.
Also, "Maybe I'm Amazed" by Paul McCartney is good, too. You couldn't use the whole song (Because it's written from a man's standpoint), but you could use little parts of it.
Some more songs:
"Fall to Pieces" by Avril Lavigne
"I Just Called to Say I Love You" by Stevie Wonder
"Out of My Heart" by BBMak
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
My boyfriend zach just broke up with me, and i really love him, and i need help to get over him!
Okay, first of all: Do you have any pictures of him in your room? I wouldn't say throw them away, but store them in a box and put it in the back of your closet. This goes for anything he's ever given you as well.
One of the biggest mistakes that people make when they get their heart broken is that they mope around the house feeling sorry for themselves. Don't do that; it will only make you feel worse. Hang out with your friends. Take up a new hobby. Do what you love.
Another mistake that people make is bad-mouthing their ex. Don't do that. It just shows the guy that you're still hung up on what he did to you.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
alrighty, so there's this guy i like. we are friends and we talk all the time. we get along really well and we have so much in common. the thing is though, i think he still likes her ex-girlfriend. i have no idea why, because she is really mean to him and always acts like she doesn't care. i don't get what he sees in her. for example, everytime i'm with him and his ex-girlfriend, he is constantly apologizing to her and doesn't seem to realize how mean she is. how can i make him realize how much i care about him ? i was thinking of telling him that i like him, but i'm afraid he won't feel the same way and we wouldn't be as close. how should i deal with this ? thnx.
Have you tried talking to this guy about how his ex-girlfriend acts? Sometimes, when people like someone, they're blind to their flaws. Either that, or he could be in denial.
If you do decide to talk to him about it, you could try starting the conversation with something like this, "_________ (guy's name), you don't deserve to be treated the way that your ex treats you."
You could even throw in something like, "I care about you, and it hurts me to see her treat you that way." That could be one subtle way to let him know you care.
Make sure you two are alone. It could get kind of awkward if there are a bunch of other people around.
Other ways to let him know you care? Flirt, in a subtle way. Laugh at all of his jokes, look him in the eyes when you talk, look genuinely interested in what he's saying... the possibilities are endless. Be a good friend to him.
As for telling him how you feel, that's up to you. Go with your gut and do what YOU think is right. It's hard for me to say if you should or not because I don't know you or this boy.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
Jesus, I just got back from the Spelling bee. I had been studying like a fiend the night before (From 4:00pm-10:00pm), I had the whole Paideia memorized, and I was almost sure that I would be headed for Washington D.C. in a few months. OMG! GODDAMNIT! It was the first round, and they gave me a really easy word, and I completely forgot the word. The word was "notary." Isn't that an easy word? I bet everyone here can spell that word. I just blanked out on that word and forgot. They rang a little bell, and that signified that I was the 4th person out on the 1st round. I suddenly remembered how to spell the word when they rang the bell, but it was too late. I lost.
All of that hard work----flushed down the toilet. If it weren't for that stupid word, I know I could have won. I have never lost a spelling bee in my life. I need to talk.
Anyone who at least tries to make me feel better gets a 5
I know how you feel! I was in a spelling bee, and I totally bombed an easy word--"jaundice."
I studied, too. At first, I felt like you did-- That all of that studying and hard work was a waste of time because I didn't win. But then I realized that the studying wasn't a waste of time at all. Think about it-- Studying words expands your vocabulary. Teachers like having many different kinds of words on formal papers. As you get older, using small "baby words" won't look good on papers. Also, if you need to speak in public, having a good vocabulary will come in handy. It will make you sound intelligent and it will show people that you know what you're talking about.
Plus, you can help people who can't spell as well as you can.
It may seem like a big deal now, but in the long run, it's not important that you didn't win, but that you got something out of the experience.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
I need you help guys and girls.
Ok,,, Well the problem is that I don't know what to do next. I can't seem to find the right type of guy. The ones who really like me are the ones im not really interested in. There's one boy who loves me alot. His name is JD. He's ok. He loves me ALOT. I DONT feel the same way about him though. Should I just keep searching for the hotties or settle down in the commitment relationship thing? Im so frustraited that I can find love. HELP! I RATE! ..
U
Don't go out with a guy you aren't interested in. It leads them to think that you really have feelings for them when you actually don't. It ends up hurting the guy, and you don't want to do that.
Don't just look for the "hotties." Guys may seem different, but they are human beings, just like girls. There's so much more to someone than a pretty face or a hot body.
Don't feel like you need to settle down and have a serious relationship. You never said your age, but I'm guessing that you're still young and that you have many years of your life ahead of you. You'll meet so many new guys. Don't feel like you need a serious relationship now- In many cases, the best things come to those who wait. When you find that special guy, you'll know. :o)
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
Am I missing something? Do most girls lose their virginities by the time they're 16? I'm just amazed, because when I was 12, NOBODY was having sex, or even kissing... and now I hear about 12 year olds having sex! I'm 18, so I'm not THAT old...
I'm just curious...
It's not all kids do that, but some do. Things like that always depend on the way they're raised, their friends, their morals, and/or their religious beliefs.
But, now the media has gone crazy. Movies that are rated PG-13 are starting to have more sexual content than they did years ago. Television shows can be worse, too. Also, turn on MTV one day. If you don't watch it already, you'll be horrified to see how much junk is on that channel. Not just the shows (Most of which don't have much to do with music even though MTV stands for "Music Television"), but the music videos, can be sexually explicit.
Sadly, it's one of the most popular channels on TV.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
Can anyone give me a list of romantic songs? They can be new or old. thanks!
"And I Love Her" by The Beatles
"Truly Madly Deeply" by Savage Garden
"Out of My Heart" by BBMak
"Hanging by a Moment" by Lifehouse
"You and Me" by Lifehouse
"Things I'll Never Say" by Avril Lavigne
Search for some other songs by The Beatles, especially earlier ones; many are romantic.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
Why is it that when your emo/rock/punk/gothic or whatever that people call you fake when you wear something that's like pink or from the mall? Isn't the whole point of being emo and stuff to be original?
It's pretty hypocritical, really. Those stereotypes say that you should be original, when they really aren't because people who say that they're punk/emo/whatever are just like other people who say they're punk/emo/whatever. You're right.
It's just part of the stereotype. It's like saying you can't be "punk" if you have something that isn't from a thrift store or Hot Topic.
It's kind of like the saying, "You're unique, just like everybody else." See what I mean?
Labels are stupid, they really are.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
What is the advantage of having a Chi hair straightener over a ceramic straightener you could get from Target for example?
Chi straighteners are ceramic, just like the ones at, say, Target, but they are different. They last a long time, for one. They also get VERY, VERY hot, so they straighten your hair very well.
It's a great investment, really. If you have straighteners that are cheaper but keep breaking, it will cost you more money in the long run to replace them than if you get an expensive, but good one that will last a long time.
You aren't just buying the straightener for the name, it actually is a long-lasting, great-quality straightener. I recommend Chi straighteners. :oD
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
hi
i don't know if i should do lacrosse. everyone said that it requires alot of running. i signed up for it. is it hard? ihave never played it but thats ok. so if you can just tell me a little about it running, hard, stuff like that..
14/f thanxx
Is it hard? Yes, it is. I mean, it isn't EXTREMELY hard, but it takes practice.
It isn't easy catching the ball; I messed up a LOT before I got it.
Yeah, it requires quite a bit of running. Not only that, it requires concentration; you have to make sure you're cradling the ball in the stick the right way while you run.
Be warned: Although women's lacrosse isn't a contact sport (You aren't allowed to hit opponents with your stick, like you can in men's lacrosse), there is the possibility that you can get hit with the stick or even the ball. The balls are made of rubber, and they hurt if you get hit with them. Personally, I've only been hit with one once, during a practice, so it's not something you really need to worry about, but I thought I'd let you know.
Also, be forewarned that men's lacrosse is very different from women's lacrosse. Like I said, men's lacrosse is more of a contact sport while women's isn't. Also, in men's lacrosse, you wear a lot of armor and in women's, you wear a skirt while you play (sometimes, but not always) and you wear a mouth guard and eye protection. The goalie obviously has a different stick and some armor, though.
Take it from me: It's a great sport, it just requires practice and dedication.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
ok so im friends with this one guy Will. we have this whole group of friends..4 girls and 2 guys including Will...i always feel like im saying or doing the wrong thing to him. for example..i always take his ipod and listen to it b/c it has better songs than mine ((also to kinda firt with him)). and i had no idea that he was mad at me for doing that but he told my friend Claire that he doesn't like it. and another time when i asked him for a bite of his pizza..he said no and i begged some more and then he said no still and ((jokingly))i said i hate you will...((jokingly)) but i think he took it the wrong way...simply put im always saying/doing the wrong thing to him...how do i stop doing saying or doing the wrong thing around him?
Simple: Think before you speak. It's honestly the only thing you can do to prevent saying something that might annoy or offend him.
Let's go back to the pizza situation. Think back, right when he said "no" for the first time. You want to beg some more, but you think: If I were Will, would I be annoyed? If the answer is yes, think of something else to say.
Same thing with the "I hate you" part. You should have thought about his reaction before you said anything.
It may seem like it will take a while to think about all of that, but it really only takes a few seconds.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
I have a little sister..and she thinks she's in love. Everytime she gets a new crush, she goes "goo-goo-ga-ga" over him..and then he breaks her heart, and she goes crying to me. She then states how much she loves him even though she only went out with him for a week! She cries and she cries about how much she loves this boy..until she finds another crush another week later! She then states that she is in love with this new boy! She's not just saying it..She actually means it. She really thinks she's in love..and she's only 11!!! It's so frustrating and annoying because when I tell her she's not in love---she gets soo mad. What should I do? This act is getting annoying..she's not in love.
PS she once "loved" a guy she never met over the internet.
She's too young to know the difference between "love" and "like."
There isn't much you can do, really. Most teens (and pre-teens) go through this stage; It's normal. At that age, she probably won't listen to you, which is why she gets mad and defensive when you say that she isn't in love. She could even try to be acting older; like a 16-year-old who can actually go out on dates and things like that.
In a few years, she'll come to her senses and wonder why she didn't listen to you sooner. This will probably happen when she's mature enough to know the difference between "love" and "like."
She's just going through that boy-crazy stage, as some people have said before. She's still in the early stages of puberty; Like I said, it's totally normal.
Just make sure she doesn't get TOO obsessed. You don't want your sister doing things with boys that she doesn't need to be doing (like sex, etc.). If you suspect things like that happening, you should definitely tell your parents.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders