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how to talk to shy guy
I know this ex-colleague of mine but not really that close to him. I think i have a crush on him but i dont really know if he likes me at all.
He's confident, witty and a workaholic.
However, he gets shy/uncomfortable, when i ask him simple personal questions for eg: Do you go for swimming. I think he has a problem of talking about himself to new people or just not that friendly.
So one day, i gave him some sweets via his secretary (i didnt really know him that well at that time in office) and he was quite startled and stared at me and waited for me to say something when i bumped at him at the doorway.
He had those puppy eyes..but didnt say word!.
I pretended not to appear interested in him becos i was too shy.!
Later, i sent him email and was able to chat with him about work..and he responded quite well except that when i asked him for lunch, he just disappeared and dint reply yes/no.,,which was kind of weird. Cos he could have said no.
I managed to obtain his cellphone and he replies all my sms except the ones on personal questions.
I called him once but he was so weird and acted like a total stranger to me.
So how do i even talk to him tru the phone as a friend, if he's that shy since i dont see him anymore in office?
How do i get him to even talk to me like a normal friend?
Would appreciate your advice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I've delayed answering this question for too long. Here's why: I hate giving bad news.
Going on what you've written (and that's ALL I have to go on), I must tell you two things:
1. He's not interested in you. He's made that quite clear. I don't know why that is, but from your description there really can't be much doubt.
2. You're really pushing it. Some of the things you've done are tantamount to stalking. If your genders were reversed, it WOULD be stalking, no question. Calling him with personal questions is definitely going over the line.
So you need to pull back. Let him go. You've made your feelings clear; if there's any chance for a relationship (and I don't think that there is), it's time for you to let *him* make some sort of move.
But to be brutally honest, I think you should do your best to put him out of your mind and move on. Take up other activities. Get yourself busy. Volunteer someplace, take a course, take up a new hobby, SOMETHING. If you can occupy your mind and your time, you'll get over him more quickly. And that way you'll be mentally and emotionally available when you find a man who reciprocates your interest.
I hate giving bad news. I've been in too many unreciprocated situations myself, and they're always painful. But the best way to cope with it is to cut the cord and move on. And in time, you WILL find the right person for you.
Good luck!
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Shy guys are pretty hard to get to know. Sometimes, they give off a "not too friendly" vibe because of it. That may be why he isn't good with personal questions.
Maybe you can try saying something like, "I love swimming, do you?" Relate to what you're saying.
Do you know what his interests are? I've noticed that when you talk to a shy guy, he seems to open up more when you talk about something he's familiar with. A lot of people are scared of saying something stupid, and talking about something you're familiar with takes some of that fear away. I've known a lot of shy guys, and that's a good thing you can do to get them to open up.
About the phone thing: A lot of people (especially guys) aren't phone people. If he's really shy, that's probably the case.
Did he ever thank you for the sweets? If not, he could be shy, or just plain rude. It depends, really. You didn't know him well at the time, so he could have just not known what to do or say.
My advice to you? Talk to him in person. If you know his interests, talk about them. But, don't let the conversation be all about him; Say some things about yourself, too.
I hope I helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to leave one in my inbox!
-Manders
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He seems very shy. Take things slowly. Don't ask personal questions if it makes him uncomfortable, at least not yet. Try to start small. Invite him for coffee or something, and try to stay within his comfort zone.
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i think it might be a work thing. he might feel uncomfortable, because you worked together & what not. he could possibly like you, only because if he had no feelings towards you whatsoever, he wouldn't be as shy/nervous. you juss need to help him open up. start by saying personal stuff about yourself. like "i like swimming, do you? what do you like about it?" etc etc. if you try this a few times & he still doesn't say anything, you can either confront him about it er let it go. you can't really make him do anything he doesn't want to. if you really want him as a friend, confront him. start by saying "hey i noticed you're a bit shy & i was wondering if its because..blah blah". that's the only thing you can really do with this. if you guys keep trying to talk at least, he'll probably feel a lot more comfortable with you & what you guys talk about. if not, you can't do much about it.
-hope that helped!♥
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It really does sound like he might be a bit shy or not wanting to talk about his personal life..
But from what you`ve said it does sound like he might like you..
But starting out as friends first would be the best thing to do..But that also might be hard since he works alot..
Write him another email && ask him how he feels && stuff ask him things you`d like to know but maybe keep the personal questions out for right now..Ask how he thinks of you && also defiantly mention how you like him..
I would stick with email until he wants to talk on the phone or even in person..
hope this helps..♥Dez
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