Good day everyone.
I am a nursing student. My ultimate goal is to be a travel nurse.
I am happily married for over 12 years and have 3 children: ages 6, 4, and 2. Family is the most important thing in the world and I want to help families work out problems so they do not have to be torn apart.
If your family is as important to you as mine is to me, get the help you need. If you do not like my advice, I respect that but look for someone that works for your needs.
Your family is worth it!
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Home maker/ nursing student
Age: 31
Member Since: October 26, 2007
Answers: 223
Last Update: September 27, 2011
Visitors: 32465
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why do you have to drink a lot of liquids when sick? how much is a lot? (link)
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The reason it is best to drink lots (meaning at least 8 eight oz glasses a day) is because one way to get healthy is to clear out your blood stream and "pee" out the bad stuff.
Liquids dilute and reduce the toxins in the blood stream. However, "liquids" does not mean coffee, tea, soda, or alcohol. It is best to stick with water, fruit juice, and vegetable juice.
Along with other doctor's orders, you should be feeling better in no time.
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I always have chapped lips, and chap sticks (like soft lips or chapstick) don't help me. I see all these people with perfect lips, no chapping whatsoever, and I don't know what to do. Can anybody help me? I need to know ways to get rid of chapped lips for good, so they are nice and soft, kissable I guess. hahaha. Thanks in advance! (link)
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I am going to post some information here I got from mayoclinic.com. First though, I want to say to stay away from medicated lip balms or "cosmetic" lip balms. Ones that are shiney, have a cooling or tingling effect, or say medicated on them. They, even the medicated products, are drying. They are to be used for temporary purposes such as splitting, sores, etc. but not to be used on a daily or several times daily basis.
Now for the Mayo Clinic... (I hope you find this helpful)
Lips may become chapped for a variety of reasons. These include:
*Exposure to wind, sun, and cold, dry air
*Obstructed breathing, such as in allergic
rhinitis, which can force you to breathe through your mouth
*Contact dermatitis due to irritants or allergens in cosmetics or skin-care products
*Certain medications, such as those used to treat acne
*A habit of frequently licking your lips
*Dehydration
To treat or prevent chapped lips, consider these tips:
*Use an oil-based lubricating cream, such as Aquaphor Healing Ointment, or lip balm containing petrolatum or beeswax.
*Apply lip cream, balm or lipstick before going out in cold, dry weather. Reapply several times while outside.
*Choose a lip cream or balm that contains sunscreen. Sun exposure contributes to chapped lips.
*Avoid licking your lips. Saliva evaporates quickly, leaving lips drier than before you licked them.
*Avoid using a flavored lip balm, which can tempt you to lick your lips.
*Stay hydrated by drinking plenty of fluids. Dehydration can contribute to chapped lips.
*Use a humidifier at home to keep air moist.
If chapping is severe and self-care measures don't seem to help, consult your doctor. Rarely, persistent chapped lips may indicate an underlying problem, such as dermatitis.
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ha alright so the other morning me and my boyfriend woke up and we had sex and after we were just laying there like cuddling.. and all of a sudden hes like oh damn do you have your period and i was just like uh no.. and then i looked down and i was like oh damn i do ahh and i got it a week early so idk i was getting it and we both had blood on us and we ran to the shower and took a shower and then we also realized after that the condom was broken and that he probably came inside me .. so now were both kinda freaking out because im only 15 and hes 18 and so we dont know what we should do.. should we just wait it out and see if i get my next period.. or since i had it will i not get pregnant? (link)
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When it comes to getting pregnant, the most common time to get pregnant is in the middle of your cycle; 14 days after your period/14 days before your next. That is your general ovulation time. HOWEVER, you can honestly get pregnant any time. Many people have used this "calendar" method for birth control; of not having sex when they are at that mid point between periods. And they got pregnant.
I recommend that if you are that concerned, contact your physician or a Planned Parenthood type of clinic for either a blood test to determine whether you are pregnant, or if you are not wanting to be pregnant... find out details about the "morning after" pill. You can only wait so long to take the pill after intercourse. You really need to contact a medical professional, as I said your personal Gyn or a clinic. They should be able to help you.
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My best friend (of 6 years) is the only true friend I have and i trust her with my life. We know everything aout eachother and our families are really close. Yesterday i was at her house all day and i told her a secret that i only shared with her and my mom. i obviously expected her to keep it to her self, like she always does. she started acting all weird and said she was going to take a shower. and (as bad as this sounds) i had her phone which wouldnt stop ringing, and i read her text messages. They were about me to some girl thats 3 years older than her and she told her what i had told her not to! not only that but she was telling her that she was sick of hearing about me talking about my boyfriend. i got so upset i called my mom and told her to pick me up. now its really really awkward and i CANNOT confront her because i did something pretty low too..reading her texts..i just don't know what to do? why would she tell this girl everything i told her not to, i dont get it :\
SORRY FOR THIS BEING SO LONG, BUT ANY ADVICE IS APPRECIATED! (link)
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I would recommend telling her you need to have a talk. Then once you are some place quiet, tell her you did something you feel guilty about that you want to tell her. "While you were in the shower the other day, your phone would not stop ringing. I looked at it and read a text message". Apologize for that and then calmly tell her what you read. "While I am sorry I read something that was none of my business, I would like to know why you passed on my private information and if you are truly sick of hearing my problems? We have been best friends for so long. I don't want this to be a rift in our relationship so I need to get this out in the open".
Or word this the way that would be most appropriate coming from you personally.
She will likely apologize for what she did (assuming she isn't too upset about you reading her texts) but maybe use this as a lesson to try to keep your boyfriend stories to a minimum. It is okay to "share everything" but sometimes it is best to keep it to a few highlights rather than long drawn out stories involving every single detail.
I hope this helps. Best friends are great. Good luck with yours!
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I am four months pregnant, and I am not showing yet. I was just wondering when I should start showing. People told me it takes longer to show if it is your first baby. I am about 5'2'' and I weigh about 130. I have looked at many links, so please don't give me any. I just want to know from personal experience or knowledge. Thank you. (link)
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You usually start anywhere between 3 and 5 months... 4 being the average.
I was about 4 1/2 months with my first son but I was thinner with him. I started showing by 3 months with my second son but I had gained a bit of weight and I think that added to the "showing"... in essence... I was showing my chubbiness, not necessarily the baby. I am pregnant a third time and am 4 1/2 months. I only just recently, within the past 2-3 weeks noticed I cannot wear some of my regular pants anymore. I am not sure I am "showing", at least not to most people. I may be showing to myself when I look at my bare belly but most people just see "me" I think. I will probably start really looking pregnant in the next 2-3 weeks.
It can almost seem all of a sudden. The baby will hit a growth spurt or something and suddenly your tummy will kind of "pop out". It may seem kinda, as my son brilliantly says "icky poo" but when you start to feel the baby move, you realize that all that bulge is a living little baby and makes the bulge TOTALLY worth it.
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy and with your sweet little one.
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hi im the girl who asked you about how to get help for cutting. well i can't tell my parents because they would just think im even more spoiled than before. im the oldest of 4 and i know they love me and are good parents but they think im irresponcible at home with like cleaning my room, and doing chores, and getting hw done. they dont think im good enough. i get mostly A's and a couple B's but i dont study enough. i want to do better but i have no motivation and whenever im done trying to talk to my mom im so upset i want to go and cut. thats how i started a couple weeks ago. my friend said if i cant stop this week and not cut at all then i have to tell my parents but that scares the heck out of me. thats probably why i didnt cut myself like 20 minutes ago after my mom and i had a fight and she told me i wasnt good enough. i always make excuses. i know what she says is right but i fell like i CANT do anything about it. i want to be the daughter they want and hope for and i get so mad that im not. that i know they are wishing for a better daughter. please dont say anything about how they dont mean that or it isnt right for them to say cause its all true. what hurt the most is wknowing they wish for a better daughter and that she said i wont end up going to college or they will have to pay a lot cause of my 'mediocre' grades. i get so mad! what should i do!? i dont want to be the problem teen anymore and they already dont trust me much with like doing stuff when they tell me and that. they would make me move upstairs (my badroom is in the basement) and think im even more spoiled than before. thats why i cant tell them. thanks (link)
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I first want to say I typed this reply in Microsoft word first and then pasted it here so if there are any funky characters, I apologize.
I appreciate more background information on your family situation. It actually gives me at least a little relief to see you write the line that “I know they love me and are good parents”.
This may be a bit long but I want to ask you a few questions that you don’t have to respond to me… but I want you to think about them for your own self and personal growth. I have no idea what your age is so if some of this seems a little odd, I am trying not to talk to you as if you are 13 (very young) or 20 (older). I am attempting something in between.
You mentioned you are the eldest of 4. That means your parents are experiencing EVERYTHING for the first time with YOU. There is probably very little if ANYTHING that your parents have not been through with your siblings. You were the first to walk, talk, ride a bike, go to school, drive, go on a date, go to sleep overs… etc. They had to experience all of these things for the first time with you. As your siblings have come along it had all been done! They knew how to handle it all. That also means that when it comes to being responsible, whether it is right or wrong, you are held at a higher level. Your LITTLE siblings have a messy room… YOU should know better. (I’m not saying I feel this way… I am basically putting words into your parent’s mouths right now).
You said yourself you don’t study enough and you have no motivation. Do you know why? You should think about this. If it is because you feel you will never be good enough in your parent’s eyes, try being good enough in your own. If you feel yourself that you have no motivation, figure out why and then try to change. If you are a teen, probably between 14 and 17 you might actually be going through a depression. Not necessarily a deep enough depression that requires therapy and medication… but ALL teens go through it. It is hormonal. It won’t resolve until you are closer to 20 but it doesn’t have to get worse! You can work through it with your friends and family (but your family has to KNOW about it to help you work through it). If you have no motivation for another reason you should try to figure this out.
Another thing you said is that you recently had a fight with your mom and she told you you aren’t good enough. Good enough for what? You are good enough to have friends. You are good enough to get A’s and B’s in school. You may even be in a club or sport that you are pretty good at. Your parents love you so you are “good enough” for their love. People occasionally say things in the heat of a battle that they either don’t mean, should have worded differently, or regret. I recently had a little argument with my 4 year old… afterwards I cried myself into a headache in my room because I so regretted the argument. I felt as if I hated myself afterwards. I don’t know that your mom does this, but it may be that she feels as bad about your arguments as you and perhaps doesn’t know how to come to you and say she is sorry. Obviously your fighting upsets YOU because you get so angry you have cut yourself!!! She is probably upset too. It seems to me that you two need to open your line of communication up more. You both have something to say but are more interested in SAYING it than HEARING what the other is saying. I have some things I would suggest to your mother if I had her in a session but since I only have communications with YOU, I will give the suggestions I have for you.
My first suggestion is to go to her at a very calm time. Possibly in the evening if she is sitting down reading, or in the car on a little drive somewhere, just the two of you. Don’t do it when she is busy fixing dinner, needing to get somewhere to pick up a sibling, running late to a meeting, etc. Pick a nice quite time you can have some privacy. It may also be helpful to have something to fidget with because it is easier to open up if you are not making eye contact. Lots of times more is shared in the car than anywhere else because there is little to no eye contact being made. Then, being as polite as you can, knock on the door, say excuse me, whatever the occasion calls for. Then gently say “Mom, I am having a problem that I really need to talk to you about. This is something very difficult for me. I would appreciate it if I could get your help and advice”. Hopefully she will be receptive to this. Then just be completely open and honest with her. Tell her you have been feeling really stressed out about how much you argue lately. Tell her you really WANT to be a better student and you will actually start putting some effort into it. Tell her you love her so much that it is important to you that she is proud of you. Then tell her you have been hurting yourself, “Lately I have been handling stress in a bad way and I need your help to stop. A couple of times I have actually used a ----- (whatever you use) and cut myself. I know how harmful this is and my friends have encouraged me to stop and to talk to you about it, and that is what I am doing now”.
A second suggestion would be to write out what you need to say and give her the letter. Sit there while she reads it. I am an adult and I had to do this myself recently. I was brought up to respect my father. He never hit me or anything but I always knew not to push him too far because he meant what he said. I still feel this as an adult. We recently had a close call (death wise) in our family and I felt my father behaved inappropriately about a few things. I needed to tell him for the health of our family connections. Remember, I believe family comes first no matter what and communication is 100% essential to this. I knew if I started talking to him about it, I would “chicken out” and probably start crying my eyes out. This was in October and I am nearly 30!!! So it isn’t just kids I give this advice to! The letter worked out REALLY well because I got to say everything I needed to but didn’t have to get all emotional and forget half of what I needed to say.
I think you will find if you open up this line of communication with her… it will be the most scary thing you have done in a long time… but the end result will be fantastic. The two of you may end up having a brand new relationship that is so strong and you will look back and realize you should have talked to her like this a long time ago.
My hope is that you will follow through with this. Part of your stress is that you HAVEN’T told your parents. This is a problem with most secrets. They eat at you until you finally talk. Once you do, you find that what you EXPECTED to happen, rarely does. What is the worst that could happen? You already fight a lot and then you end up cutting yourself because of your stress. That’s not good. If you get moved upstairs, is that really so bad? I mean, you now don’t have to face your cutting problem alone, you have one less secret from your parents, and I do not believe for a second that they will be disappointed in you over this. If my child (I have 2, and 1 on the way) came to me and said “mom, I am cutting myself”, I would NOT be disappointed. I would be so concerned. My first instinct would be to hold my “baby”, tell him (so far I have 2 sons) everything would be okay, and I would do ANYTHING it took to help him. There is nothing on earth stronger than a parents love. You will not understand this until you have kids. I have only been a parent for 4 years and I didn’t realize how deeply one person could care for another until my first was born. Your parents would die for you… I almost guarantee that!!! This news isn’t going to make them “happy” but they WANT to know. They need to know what is going on in their baby’s mind and the only way to find out is if you open yourself up to them.
I hope I haven’t bored you to tears or you stopped reading altogether. I like to be as complete as possible. This is real emotion and relationships we are talking about and I believe in the family unit. One paragraph is not going to do anyone any good. If I had your mom on here I would tell her she needs to stop her arguing and be the one to figure out why there is friction. I can’t tell her that and therefore cannot expect her to comply. But I CAN tell you since you are here that you need to step up to the plate and open yourself up to your parents. Somewhere along the line you three stopped talking and that is not healthy. Since I can’t tell this to your parents, I am telling you… you be the one to change this. I truly believe you will be much happier when you do.
I wish you the best of luck with this. If you have any other issues feel free to write me more at Advicenators or my advice e-mail address which is:
family_first0001@yahoo.com
I hope things go well for you and I hope even more that as scary as it is, you tell your mom. Let her handle dad if you want. OR tell Dad and let Dad tell Mom… what ever is your preference. Tell them both together. Just please tell them. This is your life and you are important.
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my best friend is in foster care with her younger brother. the foster family has refused to let her use any of her state manditory rights and have been destroing her and her brothers self esteen for two years now. is there anything they can do to stay together and be removed from this family? (link)
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what a sad story. This touches my heart as an adult who was very nearly placed in foster care when I was 10.
I do not know all of the laws surrounding foster care and how siblings are able to stay together. What I do know is your friend and her brother have a social worker who is SUPPOSED to check up every so often. If she can find out who this is, she should be able to contact her. If she does not, she should be able to let her school counselor or principal know and one of the school officials should know how to contact the person. I type up the charts for a pediatrician's office and specialize in behavioral problems. This means, anything that happens in the patient's room, or before or after the doctor goes into the patient's room I listen to on a tape. I am not saying your friend has behavioral problems, but many children WITH behavioral problems are in the foster system. I hear the doctor frequently talk about phone conversations with the principal or counselor of a child's school and they had been in contact with the social worker... etc. They are all kind of "in" on the child's issues so the school can best handle situations if/when they arise with the child.
Your friend is not alone. She has people all around her who know her situation, even if she is not aware that they know. Talk to the right people and she should be able to get some kind of help without her foster parents finding out.
I do not understand why adults who do not have the interest in caring for children decide to be foster parents. These are kids who desparately need a loving, warm enviornment and then slimeballs are the one's who get the kids. I feel very sad for your friend's situation and I hope with your strong friendship your friend and her brother can soon be placed in a more suitable place where they can grow and thrive.
Best of luck.
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I really want help for my cutting but i dont know how to get help. besides my friends should i tell someone? i CANT let my parents know and most people would go and tell my parents. and without my parents knowing i cant join a support group or see a counselor. what should i do!?!?!?! Thank you SO much!!!!! (link)
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You already received a great answer from RachYay but I want to elaborate a little (or a lot... that's my usual way)
She is right, you should absolutely talk to people you trust and get the help. You have done wonders already by admitting the problem and you clearly want to get help.
My issue with your statements is why you can't tell your parents? I know a lot of parents are terrible. They can be verbally/physically abusive, alcoholics, etc and NOT the kind of people you can discuss this with. If this is your case, I completely understand your need to go elsewhere. But... assuming that you have fairly normal parents who work hard for your well being, love you, and are trustworthy... I really have to question why you can't tell them. It almost seems (mind you, just from a small paragraph you wrote) that you "can't" tell your parents because you are AFRAID of what they will think of you, HOW they will react, and the fact that they actually WILL react. I question if you are wanting help... but almost afraid of the help and if you tell your parents, you feel that is certainly what is going to happen. They might put you in a support group, start you in counseling, and this means your life and lifestyle may have to change.
Again, assuming your parents are normal... I question WHY none of your friends, for YOUR well being, haven't already told your parents? I had a friend when I was in high school told me in confidence that she had attempted suicide recently. Confidence or not... I immediately told her mom. She needed to know!!! When people do these things it is a cry for help and if no one knows, finds out, or hears it from someone else, this cry goes unheard which is incredibly sad and DANGEROUS.
As a counselor, I would not be allowed to tell your parents. I would HIGHLY encourage you to do so, I would pray that SOME HOW they find out. You seem to WANT support and counseling but seem reluctant to take the next step. I am here right now with all my abilities of typing and coming up with the right words, begging you to discuss this with your parents, aunt, uncle, local police office, physician, teacher, ANYONE who can get you help. You deserve the best life has to offer. If you are in a place right now mentally where you don't believe that you need to fight for yourself. If you are afraid to tell your own parents, tell someone who you think WILL tell them. That's a good way to "not want them to know" but make sure they find out.
This advice column is so difficult for me because I truly care about what happens to all of you I respond to and not knowing if you are hearing what I or anyone else says... is frightening.
If you have "those parents" that simply cannot be told... tell ANYONE that can get you that help. A school counselor would be a great place to start but don't delay on it. You can be happy and love yourself. You CAN and you deserve it. Take some of your burden off yourself and share it with those who love you and can show you a better way.
Best of luck to you. I hope in all of my rambling, something struck you and you will succeede.
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What is the most common physical appearance of God to everyone? (link)
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I see you already received a long answer already but I did not see the answer I expected to see so I will elaborate a bit.
You asked about the appearance of Jesus... the answer you already got was adequate in that Jesus should be portrayed in paintings and such as a middle eastern and look much like your average man from Iraq/Iran/Pakistan, etc. with darker complexion, darker hair, not super tall, blonde, blue eyes... etc. After all, Jesus was from (if my geography isn't as horriffic as I think) modern day Iraq.
What does God look like? I use a new life translation bible, a study bible as the King James and other versions go much too far over my head... I just can't get any kind of spiritual reading out of those bibles as I have to concentrate too much on what on earth they are saying!!! So, my NLT bible says in Genesis 1:27 that Got created human beings in his own image. It goes on to make clear that...
"Knowing that we are made in God's image ... provides a solid basis for self-worth... Because we bear God's image, we can feel positive about ourselves. Criticizing or downgrading ourselves [or others] is criticizing what God has made and the abilities he has given us." And something my pastor has said before is that it is not good to use the phrase "after all... I am ONLY human". Because we are made in God's image... we should be proud of who we are and feel we can do anything because after all... we ARE human.
That's more than you ever asked for LOL!!!
I don't know what your purpose for asking is... for a school project, an arguement solution, personal growth... etc. but I hope between my answer and the others you have received, that you got a good answer that will help you.
Good luck.
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15/f
Whenever my friends say, "So and so thinks your hot" or if someone tells me im pretty, i kind of become paranoid around that person who thinks im hot/pretty! i think that the next time they see me, they'll reconsider and think that i am ugly or something. Is this normal? Do guys do that/change their minds a lot? Sorry if this question seems stupid! (link)
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To have a guy think you are hot is quite flattering. If he thinks you are hot one day, he probably thinks you are hot the next.
However, in real life, hottness doesn't count for much. A guy can think you are hot but if you don't have the personality to go with it... he can think you are hot but may not want to have anything to do with you. I know this sounds cliche and many people in today's vain society who care more about weight and beauty feel that if someone things they are good looking, they can have it all. The fact is, as you grow older (and I don't mean 50, 60 years old... I mean as you grow from 15 to 20 to 25) you realize that people you may not have found particularly physically attractive when you first met them, you now find to be so incredibly nice and funny and helpful and considerate... they actually start to appear more physically attractive! And once you hit a real level of maturity, you find that you don't even realize whether a person looks good or not... it is what is inside that counts. I am still young (in my 20's) and I would much rather have someone tell me how smart I am or that I was so helpful to them, or "I can always trust you", these kids of things. To me, they are so much more flattering. I get told once in a while I still look good and that's nice and all but... where does that get you?
Back to answering your question... as I said before, a guy who thinks you are hot probably will think you are hot for a long time. Just don't get too wrapped up in the idea he likes your outward appearance because without some inside beauty as well... thinking you look nice is ALL he is going to do. No one wants to spend a lot of time with self absorbed people who only care what themselves and others look like when there is SO MUCH MORE to life. Just be your sweet little self around the guy and he will think so much more about you and REALLY like you. Its amazing how far being fun, friendly, and considerate can get you.
Basically, continue taking care of your self, but continue to grow inside as well and you have a great chance of having any boy you want.
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How do people actually die from Anorexia? I'm recently in recovery & I think I'm doing okay. Right now I'm approximately 5'7 & 116-118 lbs. I think I'm doing better. I eat breakfast, lunch, a snack, dinner, & another snack before I go to bed. I still avoid fatty foods though, but other than that I eat pretty healthy. I eat fruits, veggies, crackers, carbs, meats, etc. I probably take in approximately anywhere from 1400-1500 calories a day. Is this okay for me?? I'm trying to gain a bit of weight but it just isn't easy. I'm also waiting to get my period back. Its upsetting because a lot of people don't know what they're talking about & think that you can just die. Wouldn't I have to stop eating for that to happen?? I'm following up with doctors also & my family & friends are helping me through this. Any ideas/opinions?? Thanks!! (link)
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I first want to tell you how fantastic it is that you are strong enough to fight this disease. How lucky your family and friends are to have you fighting. This can be so traumatic to family watching a person suffer and you have done a fantastic thing in getting help.
Your main questions seem to be is 1400 to 1500 calories a day okay for you. It depends on your age. If you are still in your teens you need to eat. Including fat. It is important for your body and brain to get all foods, including fat to grow. If you are an adult (over 18) just to maintain the weight you are at you need between 1400 and 1500. If you want to gain more, you should bump this up to closer to 1700 or 1800. Once you have reached your desired weight, back off a LITTLE. The ideal weight for someone of your height is between 120 and 130 so you are really just about there. CONGRATULATIONS!!!
The second was how do you actually die from anorexia. All of this information came from webmd.com so feel free to check it out... but I will give you my research here in case you are like me and can't be bothered checking out a bunch of links *smile... I tend to get lazy*.
The first thing that usually happens, especially if anorexia starts in adolesence (teens) is damage to your bones. This is when you are supposed to be developing the bone mass you will have for life. Instead, you are losing bone mass and this is not reversable. Once the damage is done, it is done.
Most anorexics also have low white blood cell counts and tend to be anemic. Both low WBC's and anemia reduce your immune system. This leaves you vulnerable to diseases which could be fatal.
Obviously without eating your body starts to lose muscle mass. Your heart is a muscle. It begins to get smaller and weaker. You develop lower blood circulation throughout your body (bad for extremities) and your blood pressure drops. Heart problems set in quickly and clearly can be fatal.
Anorexia is a mental illness and the fact that one becomes anorexic means they are more likely to develop mental illnesses and eating disorders such as bulemia. These other problems can lead to suicide and cancer (vomiting is terrible for the throat).
You basically just need to consider yourself REALLY lucky that you have gotten help and have the support network you need. I hope you continue to do well and you should be so proud of yourself, truly for putting on some weight and getting this problem taken care of.
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Hey everyone!
Ok, well today i was plucking the few stray hairs in my eyebrows, and i kinda overdid the job. Like you cant really really tell how much smaller my eyebrows are now, but there is a difference. I was just trying to even them out, but i kept taking more and more off till now, there is like barley any eyebrow left!
So my question is, is there anyway to grow your eyebrows back? I dont want to make a huge deal out of this, i just liked my eyebrows better when they were a bit thicker. I know you can just wait for them to grow back, but i really dont want those stray, shorter hairs. Thats the reason i was plucking them in the first place!
Anything will help.. open to anything!
Thanks soo much (link)
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As far as I know, there is no way to make your hair grow back faster. You don't want to use any of those chemicals that "supposedly" gives you hair growth or rapid growth so close to your eyes. One little drip of that gets IN your eyes and you have big troubles.
I have a suggestion that should work just as well, but you may want to get a book from the library on techniques (I know the books exist as I have checked them out before). Let them grow back naturally just plucking those hairs that you know are far enough away from your brow line that they don't belong. Then, until the rest grow back just use a brow pencil. Use a fresh one, not one that is old, cakey, or borrowed from someone else. Then use it to fill in your brow line however you want it to look... just be certain to blend when your done. "Feather" it so to speak. That will make it look natural and even give it that "hair" appearance with individual lines. I have seen this done a number of times including on TLC's What Not To Wear. It really looks good and makes your brow look nice and full until it can grow back out.
Check out a book too... it can give you good tips. If you can't find one on your own, just tell your reference librarian you are looking for a book on cosmetics or applying makeup.
Good luck.
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im thinking about taking a bus instead of a plane on a trip next week. last minute i know. im in college so every dollar counts and buses are cheaper. im going through 2 and a half states. does anyone know anything about greyhound busses and how reliable and safe they are? any experiences, comments? thanks!
f/19 (link)
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It has been 10 years since I have taken a Greyhound but my experience back then was positive. I went from Cincinnati Ohio to Cleveland Ohio where I picked up Amtrack. I was traveling for very emotional reasons and spent much of my time burrying myself in my walk-man and crying, but the bus itself I was perfectly fine with. I had to switch buses one time which was uneventful. I don't remember it being uncomfortable but again, for me it was only a 4 to 5 hour trip.
They have potties on the busses (or at least the two I was on). My only realy problem was I felt the bus driver was speeding and I have a fear/phobia of speeding in vehicles, especially if I am not the driver. I think that stems from not being the one in control of the situation.
As I recall, both buses were on time according to the itinerary.
I must admit I have, in the past seen Greyhound buses stuck on the side of the road, but that is extremely rare. I would have to say the answer to your question is they are at least as reliable as cars as they are likely serviced regularly, fairly safe, and as comfortable as a commercial bus seat can be (more comfortable than a school bus).
I think you'll have a good trip. You may be tired as sleeping on a public bus may prove to be difficult, but if you can catch up on some sleep once you reach your destination, I think you'll be just fine.
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I am a virgin and i just want to know is it weird when u first have sex. Like how does it happen. To me it just seems akward when your having sex because what are you doing during the sex and stuff??? confused..please help.
(link)
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I remember how confused I was about sex before I had done it too. Don't laugh, but I remember my biggest fear was how do you not go pee? The last thing you want is to pee on your partner. Before this becomes one of your worries... it is highly unlikely to happen.
The first and most important thing is to remember to abstain. Don't have sex with just any boyfriend you have no matter what your age is. My reasons are not just based on my religion but science and health as well. You certainly want to practice good morals by loving and respecting yourself enough to wait for that one man you trust with your life. It seems to me, if you can't make a commitment to this person, is he worth exchanging bodily fluids with? Aside from that, sex is like drugs... there are side effects. Pregnancy is the first one that usually comes to mind but don't forget about all the STD's. AIDS, gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis, and a TON of others. It is a harsh reality that you are trusting your health to a little piece of latex. According to the CDC, in 2006 the ages of 15-24 acquired half of all new cases of STD's. Gonorrhea alone, there were nearly 650 women (not including men here) per 100,000 population between 15 and 19 who developed this in 2006. Many STD's by the way you have for life. They May have treatments but no cures. Wait until you completely trust the guy first.
Ok, now that that I have done my good deed for the day, when you actually DO find the right guy, and hopefully you are older... at least out of high school so you are old enough to deal with the effects should they occur, sex is actually not as frightening as you may think, under the right conditions. If you are with a man you love and trust you can start by being honest with him that you are looking foreward to this, but you are a little scared. He should understand that and respect that and go at your pace.
Sex usually starts out with foreplay. This is usually some type of flirting, teasing, could even be a massage, that kind of thing. Then there is usually some pretty heavy duty making out. Eventually after kissing and "feeling up" you generally loose your clothes and get in a comfortable location. After that... if you are thinking too hard about what is happening you probably aren't "in to it" enough to keep going. Humans have very few instincts. We blink, breathe, etc. by instinct. Sex seems to be one of those things that you don't really need a book, you just know if it feels right. If it doesn't, change positions. Your hormones and your enjoyment will just guide you through. There is no real right or wrong as far as whether your eyes are open or closed, whether you are on top or bottom... just whatever is right for you and your partner. And the great thing about being with the one you love and trust is you can actually say "please do this" or "is this good for you?". Eventually you learn each other's likes and dislikes and signs that you have quite obviously done the right thing.
I don't mean to sound cliche but it truly is one of those things that comes naturally. You know if it is right and if it isn't... by all means, don't do it. It should not be something forced.
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i want to break up with my boyfreind but i just dont know how to tell him, i mean i like him and all but he's just just sooo much like me, cuz im usually not real quiet, but i am if you dont start a conversation and keep on going, and he doesnt he's just real quiet, i mean sometimes he'll talk but not very often.
is there any way that i can end it with a good reason?!?!?! cuz i know he's gonna be like "why?" and i wont know how to answer.... (link)
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Breaking up is somtimes hard to do, especially if you still like the person, you just don't want to be in a relationship with them.
I would suggest something along the lines of beginning with "I have something to talk to you about and it isn't going to be easy". That way you are giving him the warning that the following statements are unlikely to be good news. Then say something like "I really like you and have enjoyed our time together. I just don't think we belong in a relationship together". If he asks why just say you aren't really sure yourself, you just think the two of you were meant more to be friends. You can even be honest with him that you two are so much alike, that you both have quiet personalities and you think you might both be better off with someone a little more talkative (or extraverted depending on how you feel wording something like that... I don't know your age so this word may sound a little nerdy).
He may not like it. He may be angry with you for such a silly reason for breaking up. The fact remains that, assuming you are a teenager, you have the right to explore relationships. If you don't think this is the one you want to be in, you have the right to not be in it. It is always best to try to be polite but don't let him make you feel like you should stay in this relationship because you don't "have a good reason" to break up. Your conversations do not tend to flow easily and you want to be with someone you can REALLY talk to. He's just not it. And there's that old cliche of "we can still be friends" which you probably actually feel, but be forewarned that he may not. Of course, I don't know him so he may agree with you and may actually have been wanting to say the same thing to you and just didn't know how!!! These things happen too.
I also recommend doing this in a quiet place actually face to face with him. This usually makes it more personal and lets him know you arent just blowing him off. If adds more feeling. Calling is second best because at least he actually gets to hear your voice. Breaking up in a letter is never good. I recommend doing it face to face... and I would wait until after school too. This can give him a few hours to realize it and sleep on it and come to terms with it. If you tell him in the morning before school, now he has all day to get bitter about it and give you dirty looks and such.
I hope this gave you some assistance. Good luck.
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okay well yes im 15 and yes im pregnant.
its two months on the 3rd.
i talked to my parents.
they said i should keep it.
and so did my boyfriends parents.
but heres the thing...the only way we could both take care of the baby was if we moved in together.
so my question is should i move in with or no?
*wasnt sure what category tis should go under**
thanks ahead of time.
Megan (link)
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I am glad you have the support of your parents who want you to keep it. It is even better that your boyfriend's parents feel the same.
The truth is, it probably is not the best idea for you two to live together. You ARE 15 and old enough to get pregnant. Unfortunately at 15 you are not at an age where you are likely to be with the boy forever. If you move in with him or he with you, it would be a really difficult situation if you two decided to go your separate ways, romantically. I hope he will always be there for the baby, but if you move in with him and then break up... you will have to move again. And vice versa. Right now you are in the protection of your home and your parents who, given they want you to keep it they will likely offer assisstance in raising the baby. Imagine how helpful it would be for you to have your mom around when things happen, meaning the baby gets a cough or cries all night. Two 15 year olds arent likely to know how best to handle the situation. Encourage the boy to be in the baby's life, and maybe when you two get out of high school if you are still together you could consider getting an apartment or somthing. But for now... it just seems to me that staying where you are is best for you and your baby. You are just a kid yourself and could really use the help from Mom, especially when the baby comes.
You can both take care of the baby even if you don't live together. Look at the 51% of families who are divorced. They take care of their families without living together. You just have the bonus of having loving parents as well as the support of the parents of the father of your baby!! The baby will grow up knowing everyone important in its life loves it.
Best of luck with your situation.
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My question is really long, so I will thank you in advance for taking the time to read it.
The history: I went on a study abroad to Argentina my senior year in high school. I moved in with a single mother and her only daughter for my six month stay. I almost immediately fell for my host sister, as wrong as that may sound, but I held off my emotions as long as possible. It was one of the best moments in my life when, after a month of waiting, the same girl sat me down to tell me that she felt the same about me. We told her mom, and her mom was fine with it as long as we showed that we could be responsible. It ended up that our relationship went from great, to better, to complete bliss. Then, as we both knew from the first day, I had to go home. After six months with her, five of them in a relationship. I had to say goodbye. I never imagined how hard it would be. I have had relationships before, really felt emotionally attached to girls before, even thought I was in love before, but no break up ever made me feel as utterly helpless as I did stepping onto that plane. After returning I expected things to get better. They haven't. I call every week. I send emails like it's going out of style, and I bug all of my friends to death by relating some instance of my life to something that happened with her. Now that you know the story, I will get to the question.
Is it possible to keep this going? If so, is it worth it? Every time I call her and she doesn't sound very excited about my call, I'm sure she's forgetting me. When she puts a picture of her standing next to another guy on the Spanish version of Facebook, I wonder if that could be my replacement. I started at a large university when I got back, and I have been meeting a lot of girls and going on a lot of dates, but something just seems wrong. Almost like I want to say, "you're really great, but you just won't ever compare to Noelia." What should I do. How can I manage to doubts, the pain, the financial burden of buying phone cards and saving for a plane ticket? It's been the longest 5 months of my life, and can I really keep it up for another 4 years?
I'm sorry I gave the huge story first. I'm a columnist myself though, and I frequently find myself at a loss for words due to questions that just don't provide enough info. I really appreciate this. I browsed columnists for almost an hour before I decided to send my question to you. ;) (link)
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I first want to thank you sincerely for looking so hard for a columnist and then chosing me. I really appreciate that. And thank you for the story. It REALLY helps to have such background information to give appropriate advice.
I have been contemplating your situation all day. Believe it or not, I have been in your exact situation! Mine was divided into two different situations though. When I was a junior in high school I was dating an exchange student from Ecuador. We knew he was going back but never really thought about it until he only had about 3 or 4 weeks left. Then we got really depressed and at the airport, I thought I was watching my "everything" get on a plane for the far end of the earth. I spent a tremendous amount of time in "mourning" over him. My second situation was about 2 1/2 years later I spent some time in New York and met a man. We completely fell in love. Eventually I had to come home. It was dreadful. We called and e-mailed constantly, did all the things you said you are doing. It was five months before I would see him again.
Your situation is different in that you come from VERY far distances.
If the two of you BOTH want to keep up the relationship, it can work. What you need to keep in mind though, is that any relationship that is worth keeping is VERY hard work. Now you are talking about a distance relationship, and not just from New York to Illinois, for example but from the United States to Argentina. There are a lot of cultural differences as well as temptations for both of you. What you need to do is discuss with her if she could see the two of you getting married in a few years, four or five. That is a long time to project on something like marriage, especially since there are going to be few, if ANY visits for the two of you in the between time. So many things can happen in four or five years.
Something that concerns me is that you see pictures of her with other guys and she doesn't sound so excited about getting a call from you. You need to find out how she is feeling. If she is moving on then this is really a non issue.
If you feel anything like I did when I was away from my second guy, you are probably the most miserable now than you have ever been, or possibly ever will be. Love can seem so evil at times the way it can make us hurt. I know how you miss her.
The reality is... and I hate like everything to say this but... you probably just need to take some time. First of all find out exactly how she feels as I mentioned above. Find out if she wants to wait for you. Find out if marriage is in her thoughts. Find out if she is dating other guys. Depending on these answers... you may need to start the mourning process. Focus on school this year. Don't worry about dating or relationships. When you are ready, then try dating again. I can tell you that even after I met guy #2 I still thought about the one from Ecuador. I still do occasionally and it was over a decade ago!!! This pain though, it does fade. No one wants to hear that, especially if you are still in the point of your mourning when you truly believe something could happen in your future.
You said you have been on dates but none of them have compared to Noelia. Probably not. You are in love. Don't give up on love though. You may never meet a girl who makes you feel like she does but that is OK. You may meet one who you fall in love with, but it will feel different. Isn't that a good thing? I mean, if you should someday get married to another woman, would you want to have to explain to her that you love her "almost as much" as you loved another woman years before?
I can't give you an answer on what is best for you. I can tell you that, as much as it hurts me to tell you this, long distance relationships do sometimes work... but this is not common. Especially if you two can't eliminate the distance fairly soon. If it doesn't end up working out with Noelia just remember the irritating cliche about time. Time heals all wounds. It really does. My mother died three years ago. I miss her terribly, would love to have her back, and think about her ALL the time. But the pain is easing up. It is easier to talk about her and remember stories about her. This pain you are feeling now will eventually start to ease. But until it does, go with it. It is natural and healthy to mourn, even the break up of a good relationship!! Don't force yourself to date until you feel like you WANT to, otherwise you are waisting your time as well as the girl you go on the date with. BUT!!! That is not to say that if you are feeling sorry for yourself someday and a nice girl comes up and offers a penny for your thoughts that you should turn her away. You never know... that could be the start of something you never thought would happen again!!!
Love is aweful isn't it?? I mean, it can be the greatest thing ever or make you feel completely ruined.
I am sorry if you spent so much time looking for the right columnist and then didn't end up getting the answer or advice you needed. I just can't give you a quick, simple answer. I can only tell you that while long distance relationships usually don't work, it is still possible. But if it doesn't, you will be okay. You will love again. And I hope, really hope, that you are able to get what you want. You seem like you are genuine and a devoted person to be with. Any girl would be lucky to find you.
I wish you the absolute best of luck.
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Ok well im 14/f and i kind of want to ask about birth control but i dont want it to be awkward. my period tends to be long like 7 days while my moms is only 5 and i havent even had it for a year but i really dont like it. I've started getting some pain because of it just mild cramping and lower back pain but im also kind of more tired i think and i got it in the beginning of nov. and now i just got it again! its only like 20 days in between and sum of those birth controls sound so cool like only having your period for 4 days every other month or w/e. for sum reason i just really dont like my period! i dont know why i just don't. it doesnt really hurt or anything it just makes things more difficult i guess. anyway am i too young to think of asking for birth control? i have an abstinence ring and def. am not going to have sex so would my mom still want to say no or what? thanks! (link)
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I would like to start by saying you should be SO PROUD of yourself for the abstinence ring. Though I am not entirely sure what that is... anything that starts with abstinence I like!!! I abstained until I was married, as did my husband and we are trying to teach our kids that route. Good for you!!!!!
Ok... so an answer for you....
I agree with the one answer you got from dancedance. If you discuss with your mom how miserable you are with your periods and possibly even suggest seeing a doctor to see if there is anything you can do to help with discomfort and/or irregularity, the birth control topic MAY come up.
BUT... try with your mom and physician to think of alternatives. I am not trying to be anti-birth control. I was on it myself when I first got married. My problem is that a lot of women get put on birth control without doing research or knowing the facts. Birth control CAN (not necessarily IS) be dangerous. You may or may not know about a risk for blood clots and heart attacks. If you have a history of cancer, particularly breast cancer in your family, the hormones in birth control can increase your risk of developing this. Also... for THOUSANDS of years women have been having yearly cycles. Now, for the past few years (around 5 or 6 years) women have had access to b.c. that allows you to have one period ever 3 months or even just 4 per year. I an horrified at what is going to happen in about 10 years when women have been on this for a while and discover how unnatural it is to only have a few cycles a year. I don't know what the outcome will be, but at least consider it. Be safe with b.c. and possibly consider those that you still have a monthly cycle. Don't get all excited about the option of fewer cycles.
A positive aspect to b.c. is in my experience, I had a lighter period, for only about 4 days, and it was like clock work every month. It was great. I would never go back on them because of the hormones and my family history of cancer... but it was convenient at the time.
One last thought... I am now a mother myself. Granted, my eldest child is only 4 and both my present kids ( I am pregnant and do not yet know what it is) are boys... but I can speak as a parent. If you are completely open and honest with your mom, and especially if you have a good relationship with her... let her know everything. Even let her in on the abstinence ring if you are comfortable doing that. If my sons came to me and told me about that, the bond between me and my son would become so huge... I would be the happiest mom on earth. Just be honest. Your mom wants what is best for you.
Good luck.
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This is a really weird question to have advice for but,
i found my self worrying about the future a lot.
And once i start, i can't stop. It's Not the good things im thinking about, its the bad things. I think of having a hudge tsunami ( i am deathly afraid of the ocean) and wiping out where i live.
I think of dying a lot, i think of loosing all of our money.. I mostly think a bout dying and when i go to heaven ( if i go and if there is one) what it will be like and if i will be miserable until i make it there. I think about so many things that i dont need to be worrying about. My mom said to think about the things you can control, not the things you can't.. But its done nothing for me. Please help me, I'm really scared of the future and i dont know how to get over it. (link)
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It doesn't sound like you have a general "fear of the future". If you were just afraid of your future you would be worried about rational things like not finding work once you graduate from college or finding the right man so you can get married and have kids. Everyone is anxious about these things.
You mentioned a constant fear of dying, even tsunami's! Unless you live less than one mile from a major ocean, you can kind of cross this off your list. I don't think any tsunami can be big enough to affect you unless you live RIGHT ON THE water.
That being said... it sounds as if you have an actual phobia of the future. Believe it or not, this is fairly common. It can be caused (though does not have to be so if this does not fit your situation, you could still have the phobia) by having a bit of turmoil in your past or present. They all fit together... your past, present, and future. If you had some rough patches in your childhood, that can leave you a bit bumpy in your present; having relationship problems, financial problems, perhaps you live in an area prone to bad weather and have had past experiences with such. If you have a present with some problematic moments, of course you could have fears for your future. You have had a tough childhood and things arent so great now so what makes anyone think they could change??? Also, this phobia is a lot more common in teens. Teens have an idea of what adult life holds but with no experience, they can get quite "freaked" out about having no owners manual for becoming an adult. When you are say, 15 and trying to think of the steps involved in buying a car, a house, renting an apartment, starting up a business... you have NO IDEA how to go about this and it can be very frightening.
The best thing for you to consider is what you could do to make your present more stable. If you are in a relationship but it is questionable; not sure if you are in love, question his intentions and love for you, etc. maybe it is time to end this, be yourself for a while before jumping into another relationship. If you are in an unstable work environment; bad relationship with the boss, high chance of being laid off, apply to other places where your work could be more reliable. These are just some suggestions. Get your present more stable.
There are actually some websites that deal with future phobia. One has a great list of things you can try to work on yourself:
"Firstly, in order to rid yourself from phobia you should try to understand your own potentials and eliminate your phobia with the help of NLP
You should create the future you desire in your mind through the process of visualization
Plan for your future achievements. Your effort should make your dreams turn into reality
Believe in yourself and try to be successful in life"
The above in quotes came from:
http://www.phobia-fear-release.com/fear-of-the-future-phobia.html
Another website is a great website... but I am not sure if it is best for your situation. Here it is anyway in case you want to check it out...
http://www.nmha.org/go/phobias
If nothing seems to work, you may actually need clinical help. Try therapy. You may even find a medication may help. But don't spend the rest of your days worrying about the things you can't control... there is help available.
Best of luck!
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Okay,a few years ago, my mum's neice rented a shop from grandfather in Mauritius. Her mum (on my mum's side) died a few years ago. She left Mauritius to go to Australia where she married and has a child on the way.
But the rent hasn't been paid since Febuary, and my family really want the key back but all she and her father says is "It'll be back in two weeks" but nothing happened. Now, the father wants us to pay him off and nobody wants to. We could've broken the locks open yes, but grandad (who was brought up in tradition)cannot belive that family would treat each other like this.
The daughther 'pretends' not to know anything and the family has agreed not to speak to her again (my mum is thinking about crossing her out of her will) along with not sending any card when the baby is born.
I feel as if i should do something to ease it all but i don't know what. Do i call her? Do i send her the congratulations card? Do i make the family see reason and forgive her (i'm a big fan of second chances)? I simply can't stand the fact that their going to blank her even though she's pregnant. As for the father, they want nothing to do with him. (link)
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The worst thing ever in my mind is when family is at odds with each other.
My first suggestion was to ask someone from your local police department to accompany you (or your grandad, or someone in your family) to the niece's home... but that's a little difficult since we are talking about Austrailia. My second suggestion would be to have the police accompany you to the shop to break the locks and just take back over. The police suggestion is so that you can all rest assured that legal action will probably not occur due to the fact that the law was already informed and was with you to assure you did everything you were allowed and supposed to do. Unfortunately, you mentioned your grandad is uncomfortable with this situation.
I am not sure where you fit into all of this. What I mean by this is I don't know if you have anything to do with the shop, if you are an adult or teen, if you are being asked to resolve the situation. My suggestion to you, and ONLY you is that you basically stay out of the legal aspect of the shop. The owner of the shop needs to be the one to decide how best to handle the situation. I THINK I got from the beginning that your grandad owns the place... if this is incorrect I apologize for my misunderstanding. But basically, it sounds as if this is an extremely difficult and emotional situation, but one that you can safely just keep your distance from.
Now, as far as your cousin(?) who moved away and is having a baby, and is disliked greatly by the rest of the family... I have two responses that are fairly similar, you can read over both and see which one you prefer to go with and which one to ignore.
One: She may have issues preventing her from paying the rent from back in February. I have no knowledge of her personal situation and you probably don't have a 100% accurate assessment of her situation either as you likely have been getting second or third hand informatino from members of your family. The fact is, you are presumably going to step back from the shop ordeal. Now all you have is a pregnant cousin to worry about. It is a shame that she has presumably skipped out on her responsibilities. If I was in your situation though, I would let her know she still has you as a member of the family she can talk to. Congratulate her on the baby. Call her, send a card, whatever. She is family and family is #1. You never know what may happen. When she discovers you two can still be close, she may end up confiding in you about things you never knew or understand. You may even eventually be able to convince her to help mend the familial split by compensating for her wrong doings. It may have to happen slowly, but perhaps one day she may be able to send some money to help repay the rent money. But what she does NOT need, and what NEVER resolves a situation is to be ostracized, especially from one's own family. Nothing feels worse than that.
TWO: I am a christian so the rest of this is a bit biblical. I made this one second so if you want to skip over this (I never like to empose my religious beliefs on anyone who does't specifically ask for it), this is the only paragraph with religious information so just skip to the next paragraph. Your story reminds me of a few parables told in the New Testament. You may or may not be familiar with them so I will give you the general overview. The prodigal son: A man had two sons. He was going to leave the two of them his "estate", money and farm to them when he died. One son worked hard on the family farm, the other asked Dad if he could have all of his inheritance BEFORE dad died so he could go ahead and live his life. He received it, left, and squandered it over time on frivilous things. Eventually he came home. His brother (your family) was irate. The son who just came home begged to live on the farm as a slave just so he could have a place to stay and food to eat. But dad said "you are my son. I love you. I have missed you. Come home". // Jesus said if a person slaps your left cheek, turn your face and allow them to slap your right. // The bible also says that no matter how many times you do wrong, if you ask for forgiveness you will always be forgiven. If you sin the same sin 70 times, then 70 times you can be forgiven. You don't have to take all this literally, but, I guess what I am trying to say is the Christian thing to do is to love your cousin. You don't know what she is feeling or thinking on the inside and she may be having a really tough time.
Golly, this is longer than War and Peace!!! I am really glad you wrote to me about this and I hope even more that I was able to give you good advice you can use. If you are concerned about your family treating your cousin badly, you don't necessarily have to be aggressive about it, but you can "share" your feelings if asked. If someone starts to talk bad about her, you MAY feel comfortable enough to "play devil's advocate". You may not though!!! Don't get yourself put in the proverbial dog house. But if the situation calls for it, you may suggest that your cousin's new baby doesn't deserve to be banished from the family just because the baby's mom has done wrong. You may also feel comfortable enough to remind everyone that the more they push her away, the less positive response they are going to get from her! One needs motivation to do what they are supposed to do.
Best of luck with this. I hope your family can come to a resolution and join together once again.
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