about

I'm a qualified colour therapist and I'm doing a course in psychotherapy and councelling. i have the letters SNHS after my name which means i have a diploma from The School of Natual Health Sciences.
I have life experience in mental health, agoraphobia,bullying,parents divorce.


advice

I know the two go hand in hand, which explains why I feel so low at the moment. There's so much going wrong with my family life, my work like and my health right now and it's affecting everything. Even my relationship with my boyfriend.

The question is, what do I do about it?? I can't keep going the way I am or I SWEAR I am going to have a meltdown.

Please help and if you can, I would appreciate natural help, rather than counselling or therapy.

I think the person below was right by saying you need to take a break, if you can.
There's lots of herbal and aromatherapy remedies you can do without going down the therapy route just yet.

There's some tablets called Kalms that my grandma swaers by, they are herbal and she says if you take 2 they help you sleep too. They are for stress and just help to make you feel calmer.

You could also try relaxing baths, expecially before bed, with lavander in the water and maybe some lavander scented candles around the bath too.

I suffer with depression too, even though i try to avoid going to bed it does sometimes help just to snuggle up in bed and watch a dvd and relax, Friends is the one i always watch because it's just easy watching, no deep dramas, just something light hearted.

You could try a form of art therapy too if you have time, painting or even making cards and jewellry, being creative helps us to express ourselves and de-stress, i know alot of people on a forum i'm involved with are much more creative when then are going through bouts of depression, it also keeps us occupied which can be good in combatting depression.

[view]

Yesterday I talked to my dad about my depression and how it is affecting me. then he scheduled a appointment for me to see a psychiatrist which is tomorrow. When my mom found out she started to freak out and she told my dad that if i get help then the problem will be worse. then she told me that I was stupid to say anything. So now my parents are arguing and now I'm thinking that it was a mistake to ask for help. Was it okay that I asked for help and what will the psychiatrist do on the first day?

On the first appointment they delve into your history, about your first memory, about your family life growing up, what you were like as a child.
It seems abit pointless at first but it's really important that they do that because they get to build up a chacter profile on you and can get to the route of the problem.

They will alos talk to you about your life now, your friends and family, boyfriends, home life, school life.

The first session usually lasts an hour, it's just a getting to know you session.

Ask for help is deffinatly the right thing to do and don't let anyone tell you otherwise, depression NEEDS to be treated otherwise it just gets worse and can develop into other mental health disorders such as OCD, social phobia, agoraphobia ect.
Don't give up getting help, you are taking the first steps towards getting better, don't let your mum stop you getting this help because it is extremely important that depression is treated, it DOESN'T get better on it's own.

[view]

What exactly is a panic attack, like all the signs or how you know your having one ?

I suffer with panic attacks reglaury (sp)and when i have them i'm usually panicy to start with before an actual attack.
So in the build up to one i get hot, have a nervous stomach, feel sick, light headed, my breathing becomes more shallow, when i feel these symtoms i read magazines, do puzzle books, watch my comfort dvds which is Friends at the mo.

In a full blown attack all the symptoms intensify, i hyperventalate, feel like i will be sick (though i never am), my heart pounds, and sometimes if it's really really dreadful i get suisidal thoughts and really want to kill myself, although once it has passed those suisidal feelings go too.
Also, aswel as feeling hot, i always feel cold too and extremely stiff and shakey at the same time. My jaw goes really stiff and i shake uncontrolably, sometimes when it is a extremely bad panic attack then i will violently shake.
I will also have a dry mouth and throat.

If i have a panic attack i do all my comfort things again which helps to distract and calm me down.

Having a panic attack is different to just feeling panicy, i can get really panicy but it doesnt always develop into a panic attack.

[view]

Is there anywhere online that you can talk to a psychiotrist or counsler without paying or anything?

No i doubt that there is but you can have face to face therapy for free if you get a referal by your doctor.

[view]

i think i have OCD.
like i always have to touch a doorknob 5 times to make sure the door is completely shut. and i have like to sort everything i eat.
one time when i was in disney world i stepped on a tile with my right foot but i couldnt with my left cuz it was a long line and i cried myself to sleep every night for 3 days. whenever i tell my mom she says: Oh you'll grow out of it but im 13 and this has been going on for a while. what can i do???

It deffinatly sounds like you have OCD, i have it too, it started mild but i didnt get help for it and it has progressed in to different types of OCD.
You need help from you doctor, i know your mum thinks its just a phase but OCD can be very awful to live with as you have found out.
If she wont take you then go witha friend or by yourself.
Go to your doctor first though, yhey will know who is best to help you and you wont have to pay for therapy if you are refferd by a doctor.

OCD is very treatable, your doctor will recomend that you see a psychohologist or therapist, one who knows specificly how to deal with OCd and because of your age you should be able to see a child psycholgist.
They will help you to fight the OCD and make you think about it logically, and help you to beat this thing.

Please dont leave it as long as i did though because it does ruin lives, it wont ruin yours if you get help though, i dont want to scare you but i know from personal experience so its very important you get help right away.

Its also important to know that what your OCD is telling you wont come true, it's hard to try and figh it but im gradualy getting there, and the things it tells me will happen if i dont do a certain thing never happens when i fight it.

Take care xxx

[view]

I am a 17 year old girl. I recently went on a cruise. On the cruise, I met a singer that performs on board the ship. He was so perfect. I'd sit in the front row, and he'd wink, smile, or raise his eyebrows at me. I am so shy, I never had the courage to say anything to him. All four of the people I went on the cruise with noticed how much this guy liked me...and it really stuck with me. No guy has ever really looked in my direction. And now, the one guy that did...I probably won't see again. I only know his first name. Is there any way I can track him down again? :-( I know it seems pointless...but I ave to follow my heart...

The person below me gave a great answer. Also if you havnt already you could try googling the cruise name along with "singer" and the guys first name.

[view]

i was just wondering. why do wifes give in or obay thier husbands. i know some girls say they don't but iv'e noticed that they do.

i've just noticed that my mom and sister normally give in to their husbands wants or wishes like when my stepdad wants somthing he gets it but when i want somthing i dont or she'll make food for him but not for me or somtimes she excuses his bad behavoirs and dosnt excuse mine. ive also noticed both my mom and sister give in to thier fights and let thier husbands win just so there wont be a big fight even though they know there right and i just wanna know why. what makes them do that? how come they say they wont but then do? could someone please help

thanks

My mum used to do that with her ex, it's so annoying isn't it.
She used to just give in so they wouldn't fall out and so he wouldn't leave her.
I think your mum and sister are just trying to keep the peace. No one likes to argue and fall out with their partners, it sounds as though they are just trying to prevent huge arguments.

[view]

ok at night i have a very hard time going to sleep. i cant go to sleep anytime before 3:00 and i hate that because then i wake up late ( 1:00 - 2:30 ) and i feel like i wasted my day. at night i try going to sleep around 12:30 but i cant fall asleep so i either watch tv or go on the computer. now that school is starting i want to go to bed early (10:00 - 11:00 ) so i can wake up in the morning. what can i do to help me fall asleep at night?

I have this problem too but i have found a way to ease it.
I turn the tv off atleast an hour before bed, more is better though.
Then i lay down in bed read, i don't like reading but i found a book that i don't mind reading "friends til the end", then when i'm stuggling to read anymore, i turn the light off and try and sleep. It doesn't take as long to fall asleep.
The worst thing you can do is try to sleep when you aren't tired because you just lay awake for hours getting more and more upset and frustrated.
Also, set an alarm so you can get up earlier, you'll have less sleep but eventually you'll be able to go to sleep earlier because your body will be tired from getting up earlier that usual.

[view]

What's that thing called, that director's use to start a scene? It's black and white and they push the top part down and it sorta clicks, then they say ACTION!. I just need what it's called!! Thanks.

clapperboard

[view]

Okay, I'm scared to tell my mom... I think I might be bisexual.I'm afraid to tell anyone but my one close friend. So what should I do because I know it's a sin. Help!?!?!?

You might not be bi sexual, you havnt even tried anything with someone as the same sex as you so you can't be sure yet so you dont need to say anything untill you are 100% sure.
When we are gowing up, we have mixed feeling about our emotions and sexuality.
I know i've done it, and millions of other people, you see a girl and think she's really pretty, then think "oh my god, do i fancy her?".
I think at the moment you are just curious, Bi Curious if you want to label it, it doesn't mean you are bi sexual or gay, it means you are growing up, experiencing new feelings and you aren't sure what they are.

[view]

2 guys asked me out yesterday and I don't know which one to say yes to. I like them both the same and they both have really good things about them and some things arn't so good.

Guy 1 Good things :
hes really funny
hes super cute
he really loves me
hes got a nice personality
we have so much in common
hes only 1 year older then me
hes like an older version of me
hes a virgin
he lives near me

Guy 1 bad things -
he wants sex i'm not ready
he tries to act gangster but hes white
he used to smoke i dont know if he still does
sometimes i feel like he uses me
he invites me to his house every day and it gets annoying
alot of people hate him they say hes a poser
he gets pissed off easily and starts cussing me out

Guy 2 good things :
hes really sweet
hes romantic like me
he likes to kiss
hes really hott
he tried to finger me but i said stop and he listened
he respects me

Guy 2 Bad things -
everyone says hes litarrly special ed in 1 class but he says he isnt
he stayed back 3 times
hes 3 years older then me
hes not a virgin
he smokes
he stutters a little when he talks

...
I really like them both in different ways. Guy 1 is more like me but Guy 2 respects how far I'll go sexually. But Guy 1 is closer to my age. I really don't know who to pick. If you had to choose 1 according to those facts, who would you choose?

Guy 2.
He sounds so nice and like how a boyfriend should be, he really likes you, is sweet with you and he respects you.

Guy 1 doesnt respect you, he cusses you, makes you feel uncomfortable and it sounds as though he will pressure you into having sex with him

[view]

ok so here is the deal. i shave down there region. but i always get razor burn and ingrown hairs. is there anyway to prevent this from happenes. becuase i just dont like my boyfriend looking at it after i shave becuase i think it liiks ugly. please help. oh yeah i am 19

I use hair removal cream especially for the bikini area.
It's loads better than shaving because it's painless and leave you smooth for alot longer than shaving does.

[view]

my friend has tried to kill himself before. i just dont see why somebody why somebody would do that. because if you kill yourself, you automattically go to hell. and hell is more worse than anything you can be going through at the moment. so why would somebody wanna do this? i dont need help explaining this to my friend, he got help and he agrees with me on this.

They don't nessesarly go to hell as no one knows for certain that hell exists.
It depends on their religion and beliefs.
If they aren't religious then the fear of going to hell won't be an issue for them because they'll just think when they die, thats it, your gone, you dont live in heaven or hell, and if your so depressed and alone and in pain, and you don't want to live anymore and you don't believe anything happens when you die then they'll just feel they have nothing to lose.

[view]

I don't know what group to place it in, but it is mental I can tell you that. My boy friend was the best person you could have ever imagined. Even though he is only 14 [so am I, female] He was great. He has the potential to do anything he sets his mind to, music, school, great with kids & adults, wonderful. One of the ,main thing I was attracted to, was his childness-ish. He was funny, not in a dirty way either, didn't swear, proclaimed to be saved and was ever-so respectful.

After about a few months af dating I allowed french kissing and holding, sorta a low quality makeout.Then it grew and grew, now, we didn't get into sex or anything and stayed on top of clothes, but I noticed a difference in him, about two months ago.He has always told me how he feel about everything, absolutely EVERYTHING, I asked him what was wrong, hios reply was always something but he never got to the point. I started telling him that there was somthing he wasn't telling me, he would always say no, there wasn't.

After a long while of thinking, praying and asking God for guidance, I realised that we should never have started the whole "kissing process" so we could regenerate our relationship, the way it was before. At first he was scared, he'd say "What?I thought everything was fine, why shouldn't we?" and My answer would alaways be "It is wrong and I believe God would rather otherwise" Then there'd be a conflict, and those always hurt the heart.

Now he gave me his msn password and I thought "I don't have anything to hide or lose" so I gave him mine. He forgot that He gave me his password and the other days I checked it.Was I ever shocked, hurt, crushed, heart broken...It just hurt so much, I was crying outloud saying "no....no, he couldn't have done this to me..." He had "porn4free!", "sexsearch", "you have received a wink from...blahdiblahblah"
PAIN CRWLS IN, I...I COULDN'T BREATH, I FELT AS IF IT WAS ALL MY FAULT AND THAT I WAS BLIND TO NOT HAVE SEEN IT COMMING.

Later to find out, He called me [after I ave him my two cents on msn, really, it wasn't much] He denied it, telling me they were spams...right.I didn't believe him, he blamed it on his computer breaking, and It was right in front of my face...all of it, his name, his way of talking, even his special password was there... the girls... the pain was Unbearable :"( ... Everytime I gave him proof, he said sorry and agreed...and He kept telling me half truths, I got him to tell his parents and they have taken the computer away form him for a month.

What could I do to help him[he said it started about after we stopped the kissing process [which was two months ago]And I want to know What can I do, how should I react? What can HE do, It is 2:30 in the morning, I couldn't sleep, I was bawling my eyes out and dind't want to bother everyone else.So I came down, wanting to ask questions to people, including you people.

I'm afraid to go near him showing my arms now, and look at my body in disproval, why did God create man to be pigs and women to be their food?

Thank you, I hope this question doesn't comfuse you, I just nee help, please.

Every guy at some point discovers porn, and when they do they like to explore it until sometimes it becomes boring and they do it less and less.
He's only 14years old, he's just discoverd the wonderful world of porn, it's absolutely completely NORMAL!
Girls think "thats discusting", especially at your age, but boys at your age think the opposite.
Don't be angry at him or feel hurt, of course he's going to lie about it, any self respecing guy would, it's embarrassing.
You wont find a guy out there who doesnt or who hasnt looked at porn because it's so normal, so please dont take it personally.
Dont be afraid of showing your arms or whatever, because those porn stars are just a fantasy, they're not "real" people, most have hidiously over sized fake boobs, loads of plastic surgery and peroxide, guys like "real" girlfriends, the porn is just an exploration of what everyone, even girls, look into at some point.

[view]

is there like a health chart of how much you're suppose to weigh for how tall you are? i am about 5'

I always use this one, it's very simple to use :-)

http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/healthydiet/healthyweight/heightweightchart/

[view]

Since getting married, my husband and I make love around twice a week but i have a secret. I can't enjoy it cos it hurts, like, a LOT. Weve tried lubes and i always get turned on so its not cos of that but i dont know what to do. Its ruining our sex life and thats tough cos were trying for a baby.

Please can someone help us? Im so worried about this. I just want it to feel good but it hurts so much that it makes me sore for days afterwards. Please, any advice for us!

It sounds very much like you have something called Vaginismus, which is where sex is very painful, sometimes impossible, i too sufferd with this.
See your Gp who will refer you to a sex therapist, it is a very treatable condition aslong as you get the right help.

This website tells you about this condition

http://www.psychnet-uk.com/dsm_iv/vaginismus_disorder.htm

[view]

Hello people =]. I am 5'3'' (63 inches) and I weigh 139 pounds.. I want to loose a lot of weight and fast. ( www.myspace.com/meg_92 ) I was wondering... does anyone know any diet plans.. exersizes.. that can make me loose weight, get ride of "love handles" that my mom keeps bugging me about?.. please help!

ps. i do exersize, i am a cheerleader so i run almost daily and do a lot of jumping around..

Losing alot of weight fast is going to make you ill and you'll probably develop an eating disorder.
Also, losing weight fast makes it alot harder to keep the weight off, your only going to stay looking slim if you lose the weight at a slower and sensible rate.

Have a look at this website, it has lots of healthy tips and ways to lose weight, especially look at the bit about "sensible slimming"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/healthy_living/your_weight/

Infact i've just looked at your photo and you are not fat at all, you dont even need to lose weight, becoming too slim and losing all that weight fast, and especially when you dont need to is going to make you very ill! i know, as i'm still struggling will long term illness and horrible sideaffects from losing loads of weight 5 years ago when i didnt need to lose weight.

[view]

i have been friends with "sarah" since i was a little kid (we're both 15 now). recently sarah wanted to make a myspace. i practically made the whole thing for her since i am better with computers. i posted her first comment saying "heyy sarah whats up?". i looked at her myspace a couple days later it was gone. i assume she deleted it because sarah is really popular in school, and well im not. i think that she did not want to be associated with me because im a geek. i was really upset by this and havent talked to her in a while, and i dont if i want to. should i forgive her for being 2-faced? and if i should, should i tell her i know what she did?

It might just have been a mistake so ask her casually what happend to the comment.
If she did delete you because you not in the popular gang then don't forgive her. You did her a favour and most importantly she's meant to be your friend. if she's too shallow and embarrassed to let people know you are friends and hang around with you in school then she's no true friend.
Dont let her treat you this way, you deserve way better!

Chakra xxx

[view]

i took a ept pregnancy test and it came out positve could the test be wrong

it is possible, but very very rare

[view]

Does anyone know where i can go to a website and put in my height weight and age so i can find out if i am overweight?

I always use this one, it's a simple chart to see if your overweight, Ok, or underweight

http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/healthydiet/healthyweight/heightweightchart/

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker