Member Since: September 12, 2011
Answers: 190
Last Update: April 26, 2016
Visitors: 10375
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i need advice, i am real shy around women , i can't talk to them and i can't even look at them and how am i going to find the one for me , if i am shy around women and i tried everything not to be shy, even my friends and family tried to help me, what should i do (link)
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My advice is to forget about yourself and concentrate on HER. Nothing more flattering than undivided attention!
You're nervous for whatever reason; convince yourself that she is too, being approached by a strange man, not knowing what his agenda is, where this meeting/date/whatever might go, how it will end.
Focus on her as a person and hopefully, with some humour as well, you'll be surprised.
Good luck, hope this helps,let me know what happens.
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Ok im15f and I'm not super or real good at anything. I'm just average in school I get a's and b's and sometimes the occasional c but not only in school in sports I'm ok at them but I'm not good enough to get played which lowers my confidence I feel like a fail. I have no true hobby I'm not creative with my hands in my mind I am but there's no way I can express it cause I suck at writing also I can't speak infront of people like I get way to nervous so things aren't for me. I wanna do something in my life than just be a dud with barely any friends (link)
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You are SO not a dud!
At 15, anything is possible for you! OK, so you get average results in school, so you're average. So what? Being creative isn't just about writing or speaking in front of people. Lots of people are creative in a million different ways, think of all the people who paint pictures, knit, crochet, make cards, sew, make rugs, lace, models, style hair, the list is endless!
Your creative life could start here! Look in local directories or ask your family if they know anywhere that teaches craft courses, pick one you like and go for it. You might even find a friend there!
If you don't like one, try another. You'll have a ball and gain plenty of friends in no time. Give it a try!
I'm very 'crafty' so perhaps I can suggest something if you run out of ideas, so let me know how it goes? Good luck!!
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I'm M/16. I'm a Junior in HS. I used to be good at school. My gpa was 83 in freshman year. In sophmore year my gpa went down to a 69, by the end I got it up to 79. This year has been okay but, I just don't want to do homework. I pay attention & do class work but I don't feel the same. I'll get home, play video games & research random things on the net. At around 11pm I'll look at my homework and just put it back in my bag. Then I'll end up going to bed at around 1am, fall asleep by 3am, and wake up at 5:30am. I've tried to sleep earlier and I just can't. Its like I've lost motivation & will power. I have nothing tol look forward to. Then I'll try in school but they think I'm dumb. I'm not the same, I used to help people with work & stuff. I had my first chemistry test & got a 50, even though almost all answers were right. Thats a disgrace, I loveD science, I used to get streaks of 100's in earth science. I just feel lazy more than ever. I'm always tired too. How am I going to get into college if I go on? (link)
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It sounds like you're depressed.
You certainly have plenty to look forward to at 16, but perhaps schoolwork over the last few years has taken some of your drive away.
Is there a teacher you could talk to? Explain that you want to improve but you need help to catch up and get that spark of interest again.
You could go to your doctor and ask for blood tests for underlying problems, see if your hormones are causing any problems, as they sometimes do at your age. Explain to him/her that your sleep pattern is off, perhaps you could try alternative therapy like hypnosis or relaxation therapy for that.
You aren't unusual in feeling like this, many kids do during their school years but you've got enough sense to recognise it and do something about it. Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
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Im so saad cuz im grounded im so mad at my step dad he thinks hes the boss of me (link)
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Your stepdad probably doesn't think he's your boss, he's trying to do his best by you, because he's sort of in place of your birth dad.
You don't say how old you are or if you did anything to justify this grounding but if he's grounded you, it's probably with good reason, possibly for your safety not as punishment.
Try to make friends with him, explain how being grounded makes you feel but you know that certain behaviour leads him to think you should be grounded.
If you're truthful with him about the issues you argue about, eg.schoolwork, going out, getting home, who you go out with, etc. he might see that you can be grown-up and reliable too.
Hope this helps, let me know?
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Hi, im a 15 year old girl.My boyfriend is 17years.
At first he was my friend and I always said I will have a boyfriend when i finish school, unfortunately that did not happen.we now have sex, he always wants money from me and I would give him.I love him so much and i think the reason why i feel like I cant do without him is because i do not live with my dad and theres no proper father and daughter cummunication.my mom
does not live with me either. he told me he will show me the love im not recieving from my parents,but this demanding way of him steps in some time and ill have to give him money or what he wants.What should I do ? leave him. (link)
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This guy is a draining influence on you. He knows you're vulnerable, you're young without stabilising influences of family or parents. At 15, you're old enough to be able to stand on your own two feet but too young to know how the world works or about the scum that floats to the top now and again.
He's not supporting you in any way, all the effort is coming from you. Dump him and get your life back, the one you should be having that is, having fun with friends and learning about life in a supported way if that's at all possible.
Best of luck, I'll be thinking about you, I know how hard it can be to shake off a leech like this, but you can do it. Let me know how it goes?
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I am 20 Year girls, my periods are not regular it's once in two month?? Does that have any bad affect on health now or in future? and why is it so?? (link)
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If your periods have always been irregular it may be that that is YOUR cycle, the way your body works that is causing it to be slow. Once a month or every 28 days is average, many women have quicker or slower cycles than that.
Almost any cycle pattern is possible, since the age of 12, my cycle varied between 2 monthly to 6, 7 or 8 monthly, it was yearly when I was in my forties! I don't think it had any bad effects on me, I was pregnant twice, the first was naturally achieved, the second was with medical help. Now at 51, I've either done the menopause or missed it altogether, no signs either way. Don't think I've suffered anything bad.
Try asking your doctor if they can do some blood tests to check hormone levels etc. Perhaps other female family members have had similar cycles, you could try asking them. It's reassuring to know someone else has gone through the same things as you have.
Let me know how this works out?
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18/f
I have been on a diet for several weeks now, maybe about 2 months. I successfully lost 8-9lbs by eating 1200-1700 calories a day and running cross country. But all of the sudden I seem to be gaining the weight back, and I don't understand why. I know that weight fluctuates but it seems like I've gained back A LOT. My clothes are fitting looser, so maybe I'm just gaining muscle weight? I don't understand. Could I have gained a few lbs because it's the week of my period?
Any suggestions/tips/etc. is very appreciated. Thank you & God bless (link)
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I don't know much about this subject but here goes. If you're sticking to the diet and exercise regime that caused you to lose weight I think there are a few possiblities.
Maybe the week of your period is having an influence as it might encourage your system to collect fluid, so you weigh more.
Possibly you've reached a plateau, where your body is working out where else it can afford to lose the weight.
I read somewhere, a long time ago, that muscle weighs heavier than fat, so perhaps your body is busy converting the fat into muscle, so you weigh heavier.
All in all, keep to the diet and exercise regime and see what happens! Let me know how it goes? Well done, keep it up!
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Ok so im like 13 now and i think i got a promblem. i love sex..... like at night i take my hairbrush and shove it up my you know what. and now its all i think about! i want to stop but i don't know how.
Last week i went to a sleep over and i slept with a guy(naked) in a sleeping bag. and (this part is gross) i let him finger f***k me. He say he loved me and now any time i see him he wants to invite to his room. So (i was not thinging) i said yes! the next thing i knew we were doing it. he still likes me, but i fell sooooo bad. i mean i can't even stand next to him (or any guy) without feeling horny! I don't what to do!! so, am i a slutty freak? (link)
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I you're not a slutty freak. Even if you were, at 13 you are well able to change into pretty much anything you want to be!
Basically, you've discovered sex and how good it can be. Many people, mostly women, don't find this out until they're much older so you've a head start on a lot of us.
As with all things new, it's exciting and a novelty, which may well wear off after a while and become more routine. Not to say it'll be boring, just other things like a good night's sleep because of school next day will be more important!
One word of warning, you say you had sex with that naked guy in the sleeping bag who says he loves you? Remember how you feel when you're horny? Most boys have felt like that since they were small children, that's why they sometimes say such things - to get more sex! It's not that they don't love you, but commitment and everything else involved in a true relationship might not be included in the package! Remember to use contraception or there may be more to remember about the relationship than you bargained for, ie. pregnancy or STDs.
Hope this helps, let me know?
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17-F
To cut things short, I get very annoyed very easily.
There are multiple reasons this happens that varies to things people do to just general things about the world or the way things look.
Anyway, because of how easily irritated I get and how much it effects my attitude, my mother constantly says that I have high blood pressure. She says I'm going to need to take blood pressure pills one day.
I do notice how my attitude changes after I start getting irritated at general things, and I become very mouthy and snappy. I don't enjoy it, but I just can't help myself. I naturally also have a very brash, get out of my face attitude. I do not let people walk all over me, and I make it very well-known that I do not live to please others. And how easily I get irritated just makes it worse.
Anyway, would blood pressure pills calm me down?
Maybe it wasn't just blood pressure pills my mother was talking abut. But it seems like she was talking about pills that would calm my anger.
What could they be? How could I get them? Also, would they just turn me into a zombie? Like not feeling anything. No emotion. I don't want to become droid-like. But I do want to help fix this problem I have.
My mother also mentioned that my oldest half-sister is like me, that she gets irritated very easily. My dad can also be a little like that. So clearly it might be a bit genetic since she is my sister from my dads side of the family.
Also, if anybody has any tips on how to calm down when I feel like my irritation level rising, that would be really helpful as well.
Thanks! (link)
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Your mum may be right thinking that you may have high blood pressure during these anger spurts you have, but I don't think you need medication to deal with them. A visit to your doctor might help as a starting point however, to eliminate any unknown underlying causes.
Anger management is a phrase often used when talking about extreme annoyance, often linked to aggression. I think it often runs in families so while there might be a genetic link, it's also possibly learned behaviour - you've seen how your dad reacts when he's angry so you adopt the same trait. The clue to resolving all this anger might lie in that phrase 'learned behaviour' which means that you can unlearn that behaviour too. Your doctor might be able to recommend someone to help you analyse this trait and deal with it; alternative therapies might help too, such as hypnosis, relaxation therapy, role play and cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT).
Let me know if this helps you?
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Hello,
Ive decided that I want to research my family tree, and know what to do and where to look. The only confusion is when compiling the family tree itself. Now for example, do I put my mothers name down? Or my fathers name down? Do i need to create two family trees: One for my mothers side, and one for my fathers? And then how do I put information about my grandparents? Like marriage etc? so for example:
My Mum bore me and my sister. When going beyond that, does one put the information of my father and his parents, or my mother and her parents?
Sorry if Ive made this sound too complex to understand, Im just very confused.
Thanks for the help folks.
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It's entirely up to you how much you research into your family tree, the history of each side or both, most family history websites will allow for either of these options.
On some, they put families into groups so if you were married, your 'group' of spouse and children would be tagged as 'extra' and attached to your name. When your mouse hovers over one name, it'll display brief information about that person, birth/marriage/death dates and places of each if known. More information is also available on other pages linked to that name.
Family history is very addictive so allow yourself plenty of time! Hope this helps.:D
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Hey, I have this boyfriend he is 18 and so am I. Well today we were sitting down in my porch and my cusin went outside to tell me to do her hair. She sat down in the staira and when my boyfriend was going to kiss me he looked at her, when he hugged me he looked at her and he was dancing and kinda starred at her. She is 20, but this are things that make me mad. Im not.gonna tell him nothing because im sure he knows why im like this.,what will you do if you were in this.position or what do.you suggest for me.to do?? (link)
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You say you are sure he knows why you're acting like this, how can you be so sure?
Could you try asking him calmly? Try not to sound accusing, after all, he could've been stunned by her beauty and how much she resembles you! Perhaps he thought she was someone else, not your cousin?
You reaction then depends on how you read HIS reaction. Either way, you could have evidence for further suspicion or otherwise.
Remember to keep it calm, best of luck and let me know how it goes?
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what if your not ready for sex but your partner is giveing you signs do you have sex to keep them or not?
IM 13 SOMEONE!!!!!!!
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I think your last line says it all. You are 13.
At that age, many young people aren't physically or emotionally ready for sex. The relationship is unlikely to be a long-term one because tastes change so quickly, some young boys are very keen to have sex but once it's done they move on, it's the chase that excites them as well as the sex.
If someone is pressurising you to have sex before you feel ready, ask them to drop the subject. If you aren't ready, that's it, end of conversation.
Hope this helps, let me know how this turns out?
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why do I have blood in my poop? And the blood is separate from the stool?
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There are a number of reasons why you might have blood in your stool but the only sure-fire way to find the cause is to visit your doctor.
Not only can he/she tell you why the blood is there, they can help you to deal with it, stop it happening again.
Don't be embarrassed, it's what they are there for. Take a friend if you like, having explained the problem to them first, it'll make it that bit easier to explain to the doctor.
Let me know what happens?
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Im 13 and so depressed. I think i might be suicidal. I almost did an overdose before i went to school today. I guess that does make me suicidal. But instead of an overdose i just cut my wrist, hip, and thigh until you could barely see through all the blood. My question is do I need help? And if I do, what kind of help? I have no friends, i cant pass science or metal shop. And my drawings are getting bad. What should I do. Please help me. (link)
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I hope that by now you've got the help you need. At 13, your hormones are probably in overdrive and you don't know how to cope with everything. Self-harming could be a sign that you have a build-up of tension and this is how you try to release it. It may appear to help but in the long-term, it's slowly dragging you down.
Many people go through a similar trauma growing up and everyone deals with it in their own way.
You have an inner strength to call on at times like this. Try to take control of your life in small ways, stop self-harming, find friends to talk to, ask a teacher for help in school, improve drawing by practicing. You can do it!
Hope this helps, let me know how you get on?
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Hi Im Gracie and I'm 13! Remember me? No? That's okay. LOL :)
Anyway, I have a question about, like guys and dating and stuff. Kinda, 2 questions actually.
Well, Im 13 and he's 16.
Okay so my first question is, is it weird to date someone with the same name as your brother? His name is Matt and my brothes name is Matt. It's kinda awkward and my friends say some stuff like its gross and stuff and it's kinda embarrassing. What do you think?
My second question is, Do you think its wrong for us to date each other because he's older? I really, really like him and he says that he likes me too but he doesnt want his friends to know we're dating because they're gonna say stupid stuff about it because he's older and everything. I mean, I don't see the bid deal and it kinda hurts my feelings a little. He wants to keep it a secret that we're dating. It kinda makes me feel like he's ashamed of me or something. Maybe Im just being over sensitive?
But I like him alot, maybe even love him a little and I dont want to keep us a secret. I told my bestfriend Natalie that we were dating now and Matt (My boyfriend not my brother) found out and he got really mad and he hit me. I get why he was mad. He's popular, and has lots of friends and tons of girls that wish they could be his girlfriend and he gets mad when his frinds say stuff about him hanging out with me. It makes him upset. Its just that I've like him for a long time and I've alwaysed wish he would like me back and date me. I dont want to hide it from everybody. What if other girls start flirting with him because they dont know he's dating me?
Am I being stupid?
(FYI- We're in the same grade. I skipped a few grades. Im the youngest kid at my high school. Im a sophomore.) (link)
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I don't think it's weird to date someone with the same name as your brother, that's just chance. He's only a few years older than you, if you get on well together, it's not a problem.
Why does he want to keep you a secret? That's a bit worrying. Does he have girlfriend/s who would be upset if they found out?
What worries me most is him hitting you. That is NOT the way to treat anyone. Sounds like he has anger management issues to be sorted out before he goes out with anyone, least of all a young woman like you. I'd be looking around for another guy so we could respect each other the way couples should when they love each other.
Don't settle for second best, which this guy is.
He's not worth the hassle.
Please let me know what happens?
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I have a crush on this boy. But every time I sit beside him, he doesn't talk to me. He talks to the person beside him, the one behind him, the one in front of him, anyone except me. The only thing that makes me feel like I exist is when I saw him look at me. (link)
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He sounds like he's chronically shy and doesn't know how to break the ice!
Could you make life a bit easier for him with a smile? He might react positively then.
You don't mention how old you are but your comment "the only thing that makes me feel like I exist is when I saw him look at me" makes me think you're quite young. You said you have a crush on him which is normal when you're young (sometimes not so young too!) but be careful not to concentrate too much on this boy. He might be a bit overwhelmed by your already well-developed crush when he's still in the 'interested but too shy to do anything about it' stage. Give him a smile and encouragement, ask him about himself, he might blossom!
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I'm a 21 year old Indian female. For a few days now my past has been haunting me which includes the following: 1. I had a boyfriend for 2 years and he was a great guy and we were as intimate as is possible (which even resulted in something terrible which i think you can guess)so anyway we broke up a year back and now i feel very regretful about everything that happened between us...i mean at that time it felt right. The reason for my guilt is also the fact that in my culture and family such intimacy is not allowed, so every time i speak to my folks i feel like a criminal; 2.Since i was so sure of being with my boyfriend forever and i was the one who initiated the break up i have started hating myself as i could not keep the promise of commitment.And now i don't think I'll be able to handle another guy again. I'm really sad and disturbed please help me. (link)
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This is a difficult answer as your reticence 'tell all' means no-one knows what really happened to you and your boyfriend. Also culture comes into it, a strong influence on most things we do.
Whatever happened in the past is gone, nothing you can do will change it, all that's left is regrets.
You did it, it felt right. Trust your instincts of that time and try to forget it.
Your guilt won't change anything except how you feel and behave now.
As to commitment, you're still young. Give yourself time to get over the boyfriend and the loss of the life you dreamed you'd have together. Whatever reasons led you to initiate the break-up might have been right, some instinct drove you to it, who knows. Get on with life as best you can, enjoy time with family and friends without worrying about finding another boyfriend, learn about yourself and what you like to do.
You'll get there if you give yourself time and love to heal. Let me know how you get on?
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Ok well normally I dont bother with really saying stuff like this but well this is really bugging me. It all started maybe three weeks ago I suddenley really wanted to read ghost love stories,(I know thats normal)but anyway in my bathroom when I'm in the shower I get this strange feeling someone is watching me, then that went on for acouple of days then it started getting worse I would hear footsteps in my bathroom and btw I'm the only one in the house wheh i'm in the shower because my parents are at work, but I hear footsteps, and the bathroom door open then footsteps then it will creek close then footsteps. After that it will be maybe 3 seconds later and it will all start happening again over and over, and the feeling will get stronger that someone is in the room with me. I remember two days ago it was happening and I was in the shower, then I heard my mom home and she yelled to me she was starting dinner and I said ok well I started to get that feeling and it scared me so bad I started talking to "it" I just kept saying please stop please stop, and then it freaked me out so I yelled mom, and she came in and I said nevermind. Well those things keep happening to me and its starting to be more than just when I'm in my shower. Now for another thing, my dad decided to get a ghost detector on his phone for some reason cuz he was bored one day and he was messing around with it and I never told him about anything that was happenening and no lie he came out that night to show me that it said there was a ghost in the bathroom! Like the radar started beeping and going off. So that reallllly freaked me out. Now back to the ghost love story thing. I finaly got one on my Ipad, and I just chose one I never heard about it or anything I just like bought it. Well, After I started reading it, it got to the guys name which is james, and I sware my Ipad highlited the word James (the ghost boy around 15) in that book and when it highlighted it, it started shaking the page ! now just about everytime in that book it sayes james for some reason it will highlight his name and start shaking! So see this is really freaking me out what do you think it is I need your opinions! P.s. Also when I'm asleep I'll wake up everynight around 12 midnight out of the corner of my eye I'll see something and when I look its gone and then I freak out adn can't go back to sleep, thats starting to happen in the day too, like out of the corner of my eye I'll see like what looks like a boy and when I look it will be gone. Wel thanks for your time sorry if it was too long please help this is really scaring me, do you think this is a ghost, do you think you know what it wants? Thanks!!(:
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I don't know what this is that is scaring you so much, wish I did! But i think you really need to talk to someone about it; it's getting that you might be imagining it all, some of it may have an 'other' cause or it could all be due to something we don't understand. Whatever it is, you are in a highly suggestive state and liable to take anything as proof of something 'other' and scare yourself witless.
Is there someone you can talk to about this? A friendly teacher (I don't know how old you are), friend, doctor, priest, anyone you trust to listen and believe will help you. Once you've told someone else, the pressure on you may lift a little and at least you can start to get back to normal a bit.
Sorry, that's all I can suggest, hope it helps. Let me know if it helps and what happens?
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So here's what I need help about... There's this girl at my faculty that I've been meaning to ask out for like 6 months. By the way, it would be my first time asking someone out... (lame, I know)! I think I've finally worked up the nerve to do it, but lately I've been reading about the so called "pity date" thing. We're not particularly close as friends and I have no idea if she knows I like her (I think she doesn't). She is VERY nice and kind to everyone without exception and I think it's a virtue... But that's also what worries me. How do I know she won't just go out with me because she's NICE? Maybe I'll take her for a drink (I'm talking apple juice) and she'll just be friendly like she always is... and then I do it a few more times and she just keeps going out with me because she doesn't wanna hurt my feelings...
I mean I don’t want to go out with somebody and be distracted the whole time thinking about why thery’re there!
Oh yes, and we’re both 20, for what it’s worth.
Any advice appreciated. (link)
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You sound like a nice guy. Ideally, life should be about nice people meeting other nice people and if they like each other, getting together.
How will this happen if you don't even get to talk to each other? 'We kiss many frogs before we find the prince' doesn't mean we all find the right prince. Some of us even fall for the frog!!
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if the hymen in the virgina is torn without the woman having sex does it mean that she is no longer a virgin (link)
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A woman can have a torn hymen and be a virgin.
She could have had full penetrative sex but still have an intact hymen.
Virginity is a male obsession, designed by men to control women and their sexuality through the ages, to maintain their legal rights and patriarchal authority.
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