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am i a slutty freak?
Ok so im like 13 now and i think i got a promblem. i love sex..... like at night i take my hairbrush and shove it up my you know what. and now its all i think about! i want to stop but i don't know how.
Last week i went to a sleep over and i slept with a guy(naked) in a sleeping bag. and (this part is gross) i let him finger f***k me. He say he loved me and now any time i see him he wants to invite to his room. So (i was not thinging) i said yes! the next thing i knew we were doing it. he still likes me, but i fell sooooo bad. i mean i can't even stand next to him (or any guy) without feeling horny! I don't what to do!! so, am i a slutty freak?
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A big part of this is puberty, the rest is a naturally high sex drive.
Being your age, not having the experience with yourself it's harder to control the urges, to put them within a frame of reference and understand them enough to let them out when you choose vs whenever they get too strong.
Being in puberty literally fills you with hormones which make being horny much more difficult to ignore. I knew a guy who sat behind his girlfriend in algebra 2 and failed a test because she wore some lacy underwear for him that he could see from behind her and all he could think about the entire test was sex. It can be frustratingly persistent at times.
Masturbate more. Self pleasure helps take the edge off so you're not walking around as horny as you might otherwise be. Beyond that, if you're going to choose to be sexually active find a steady boyfriend and try to have a relationship. Having a single steady partner is better than giving in randomly, less chance of STDs and more chance you can make him be responsible with you. Talk to your parents about birth control and always use condoms to make sure that you don't get yourself pregnant either.
Set some rules for yourself. Don't have sex with a guy who isn't your steady, exclusive boyfriend. Force yourself to go through the dating and liking each other part for a while (weeks to months) before you have sex with him and fill in the gaps with more self pleasure. Develop a relationship which will let you have a safer outlet for your sexual desires.
It's hard, but you're going to have to work on your self control. It's worth it when you put sex aside long enough to actually find someone you like and date them though, because once you have a boyfriend you can have alot more sex than if you're just using whatever guy is convenient to satisfy your overpowering urges. Plus, it helps with control when you know you have a guy in your life who cares about you and is ready, willing, and able to sleep with you. When you don't have to worry about where your next lay is coming from, you can put it out of your mind until the appropriate moments much more easily.
Above all, fight to control your urges so that they don't control you. It's difficult, it can be incredibly frustrating, but in the end it's entirely worth it. You will probably have an unusually high sex drive for life, it'll calm down once you're out of puberty but that's mostly in reference to being easier to control and ignore when you need to. You still might very well want to have sex every single day of your life and that will be regularly impossible.
You'll feel immensely better about yourself if you learn to control it and ignore it now so that you don't feel out of control and helpless later.
A note: The refocusing ideas presented below are good. Focusing on something entirely non sexual can work wonders when you're out of your mind with horny. I used books, I'm an avid reader, and it's hard to be horny when you're thinking about the book you're reading or actually sitting there reading one. John Grisham, Michael Criton, JK Rowling, Stephen King, Alexandre Dumas, and a number of other authors helped keep me sane throughout high school. Books might not be the magic bullet for you, but something well could be. Find a hobby that you can quietly indulge anywhere. I know a girl who took up knitting and made herself sweaters and such. She only ever knitted when she didn't have a boyfriend, but she still managed to turn out enough socks to supply half the school with a pair.
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I you're not a slutty freak. Even if you were, at 13 you are well able to change into pretty much anything you want to be!
Basically, you've discovered sex and how good it can be. Many people, mostly women, don't find this out until they're much older so you've a head start on a lot of us.
As with all things new, it's exciting and a novelty, which may well wear off after a while and become more routine. Not to say it'll be boring, just other things like a good night's sleep because of school next day will be more important!
One word of warning, you say you had sex with that naked guy in the sleeping bag who says he loves you? Remember how you feel when you're horny? Most boys have felt like that since they were small children, that's why they sometimes say such things - to get more sex! It's not that they don't love you, but commitment and everything else involved in a true relationship might not be included in the package! Remember to use contraception or there may be more to remember about the relationship than you bargained for, ie. pregnancy or STDs.
Hope this helps, let me know?
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no your not its like any addiction youve gotten used to stimulating (gross i know)yourself and so u wantmre.just like anythng dnt listen to it listen to ur heart..dou feel unloved maybe talk to someone.dnt sleep around cause it might be fun but that sort of thing wrecks your soul.
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Your not a slutty freak, your coming to the age in which your body responds sexually. The best way to overcome it is having self control, the moment you feel arroused, counter-act it by doing something completely different, such as listen to music! At night yes, if you feel the need to masturbate then go ahead and do so. The first thing though that you need to do is become more self controlling, learn to react the right way when it happens, becoming more self controlled will help you later in the long run in your life. Loving sex isnt a bad thing, but not being able to control yourself is a bad thing.
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