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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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Ive known this guy, ill call him ricky, for about five months and we hit it off really good. About a month ago we realized we like each other so we started talking. We hung out almost everyday and things were great. He introduced me to his family, I introduced him to mine. Now let me tell you about April. April doesn't like Ricky because she gets a "bad vibe" from him. Rocky isn't the greatest person but I know everything about him, April just assumes things. Well ricky doesn't like April because she always tries to argue with him. I recently started hanging out with April and my relationship/friendship with Ricky is falling apart fast. I'm not sure what to do anymore. He called me a couple of days ago and told me how he thinks I'm changing because I'm the one who started seperating from him first. I told him I'd rather talk to him in person about everything so we were supposed to talk today but as soon as I said "hi" he just waved and I wasn't sure what to do so I turned away from him and put my iPod on. April thinks I should just forget about him and find a new guy but I really like this guy. Not talking to him is tearing me apart. I'm usually great at hiding feelings but now it seems like the whole world knows I'm sad. Should I just walk up to him and make him hear me out? I feel like I'm not putting in any effort anymore. Or should I just forget about him? Any advice/comments will be greatly appreciated. Thanks. (link)

I'm not out to bash you over the head but please refrain from using the word "bipolar" to describe a relationship or as heading for a relationship question. I thought this would be about one person dating another with the disease and found it wasn't when opening it.

Bipolar disorder is NOTHING like they portray it in the movies or media and ruins lives and families, careers, reputation and quality of life as treatment is brutal and hard to come back from delusions to reality.

Using the term in any other instance to describe something isn't right and even though you're smart makes you look otherwise.

YOUR QUESTION/ ANSWER AS FOLLOWS:

Perhaps there isn't really a problem between you and this guy. It all lies with his dislike of her and not you. He can't handle being around her with you. Talk to him about April and what's happening and why he seems to have distanced himself from you.

Tell him you meant to talk to him that day but don't enjoy confrontation and had no idea how to handle face-to-face with him right now. If you LIKE him tell him as much. Also, take people's comments about him seriously but tell her that she's the one with an issue with him and not you and that you've heard her out but know what you want and it's him in your life.

Tell her if she isn't cool with that and can't be civil with him to deal with her shit on her own time or let you and your friend be and spend time with you separately or not at all. She'll get that she can't dictate your relationships.

Never let anyone dictate what you do unless it's your parents or an adult that knows something isn't a good situation. Talk to the guy and stop being sad as it's you that has allowed yourself to enter that state when it appears to him as nothing is different but everyone being distant.

Talk to them both and move forward with what feels right rather than doing nothing and just spinning your wheels in the mud.


the first day of my period i cant keep any food down and i get a slight fever and i have super had cramps. why is this and what can i go to help? i am 21 and fairly healthy. i just want to be able to eat the first day without having to run to the toilet several times. any help? (link)

Have you ever raised this issue to a doctor? I'm not a girl but just about anyone would find this strange and not normal to reoccur. I would see your doctor and see what they can do with the info you gave us. We can offer suggestions but beyond that can't diagnose or say for sure.

Have you tried taking ant-acids such as Ranitidine, Graval etc. etc. when you feel nauseated to coat your stomach and prevent vomit from happening and allow somewhat normal eating and drinking? That may help in a bind but won't solve your long term issues. That's about all I can offer on nausea, cramps and throwing up.


So theres this guy I really like. He has a girlfriend though, but i cant just give up on him. We're friends but not really good ones. I like him a lot and he doesnt like me back. What should I do? What should I do to get him to like me? And by the way, he already knows I like him. (link)
Exercise a ton of caution and restraint. He is with someone and committed to that. You need to respect this. If you don't his girlfriend will cause you problems as will he.

You will lose any opportunity down the road and both of them if you look remotely like you are trying to sway him still. It doesn't matter how things really are but her and his perception.

All you can do is tone things down and just be casual friends. If you see them breakup eventually and it will happen then you can ramp things up and try to get him to hang out with you more.

Right now sit back and be as good friend as you can by being natural and then maybe he'll remember you later. After all he knows what you are after so it won't require much for him to find you if he wants to if this relationship falters. For now you need to cool it and be less in your face and forget about wanting him for now or it will all backfire.


School starts back on monday and yesterday I started getting a sore throat after classes. I hate when I get a sore throat because then I dont feel like talking and then I get this weird scratchy voice sometimes. I hate it with a passion. Is there a way I can do something and get rid of my sore throat quickly before school on monday? thanks (link)

Cough medicine as well as drops and hard candy may help get rid of the phlegm and bad taste, scratchy feeling in your voice sooner. It could ease the soreness too to have cough syrup.

Is this a recurring problem with sore throats? If so it may be related to tonsils and that's a whole other area to look into. If it's just random than this should help you. If you get a really bad sore throat and bad taste now and then it could be acid reflux build-up. You could take an ant-acid if the sore throat is accompanied by nausea.


ive given a lot of head but recently i took a break and didnt really party for a while, then i had a crazy night and got drunk and wtvr and blew this boy.
we were both drunk and it was taking him so long to come like he actually colddnt and i was doing it for a while then i had to go and left before he cud finish...
i feel like i lost my touch.

can someone give me good tips?
guys?
thanks

and was it my foult that the boy couldnt come?
he just kept pre-cmming (link)

This isn't the kind of site where you can ask and get tips on sexual matters. We can't and won't give them because of minors and the law and secondly because anyone caught doing so gets automatically thrown out of here for good. As well it should be.

Secondly if you're drunk believe me it still counts for both of you. You have to smarten up a lot here and not wind up in situations where you're doing sexual things with random people or those you vaguely know or associate with.

If you get too drunk that you find yourself in trouble have someone look out for you and make sure you don't wind up doing this stuff when you can't make sound decisions.

Also, do you really want to known as the girl who always does this with random guys or a lot with those she knows as well? It's not good for your reputation at all.

When it comes to him physically it could be nerves or the fact he was so drunk or worse that played the factor.


My boyfriend wants to be Kick-Ass for Halloween really bad. We're going to this dance thing and I thought it would be cute if we dressed up alike. Do you think it'd be alright if I went as Hit Girl then? I don't want to look stupid, of course, since my bf will most likely be Kick Ass but nothing really goes with him, you know? So I'm like maybe Hit Girl would be alright? Your opinion? THNX (link)

Go for it! There's adults who have dressed as the characters and won prizes for it. It sounds as though you have figured it all out except perhaps where to get the costumes or build them.

If others haven't seen the movie this will introduce them to it. If they don't like your costumes than tough on them. I'm sure they will and it's perfectly fine that you go as her. If this is a school event tell an admin or teacher what character you're both going as and show them pictures first.

You may have to forego reproducing fake weapons they both use. Other than that you should be fine. For inspiration and perhaps insight on how to build your costumes check out this link I stumbled on: http://splashpage.mtv.com/2010/04/19/check-out-our-kick-ass-costume-contest-winner/


14/f
So I am going to see my two favorite bands on October 17. They are August Burns Red and Bring Me The Horizon. I really would love this concert. I asked my best friend who likes them too and she can't go due to cheerleading. So I asked my other friend who doesn't know the bands but would have fun.. mom said no. My other friends either can't go, don't want to go, or I don't want them to go. I'm really bummed because I was really looking forward to this and now I don't have anyone to go with. I know I could go by myself but I think I wouldn't have as much fun if I have no one to talk to.. I would feel awkward.

This really sucks. Advice please. (link)
Why sit at home bored and depressed that you can't rock out to your favorite band because friends don't share the same interest? Go alone and enjoy it. Trust me, you will because if you buy only one seat you can often have your pick of the best places to sit where you wouldn't in pairs.

You'll have fun and might meet people who enjoy them too and have plenty to talk about. You'll see a great performance from great seats and may walk away or not with new pals. Don't let stick in the mud friends influence your plans.


hey! am going to start working at a pizzeria store next week.
i just want to know is it easyworking in a pizzeria. am going to start working in the front first like taking the customer's order. is it easy to work as a cashier?
i just need help because am a littler bit nervous :( (link)

I just saw this now. Every pizza shop or restaurant has a different set of rules or philosophies when it comes to making pizza and dealing with customers and supervisors.

Therefore, nobody could really tell you apart from those who worked for your store what life was like working there. Every place is different.

If you are good on your feet with math and can multi-task several things at once if working cash than you'll do well on till. If not, they'll stick you in the back with actual food preparation.

I think you'll be fine as all new recruits start somewhere and either grow into the job or discover it's not for them.

Both results are okay. I'm sure you must be doing well as it's been longer than a week since you started and I haven't had a follow up e-mail from you. If I'm ever in your neck of the woods you owe me a free slice ;)


F/13
He's a M/11

Ok so there's this boy that I net at the mall and I found out that he is in my gym class at school. Im in 8th grade and he's in 6th grade but I don't really care about age difference with friendships. But he's reallynice and funny so I like having him ass a friend but he always wants to video chat with me but whenever e wants to m parents have the laptop and I'm stuck ith the tiny one with out a webcam. So I was chatting with him k facebook and he asked to oovoo and he didn't believe that I couldnt and thought I was making excuses so I sent him a pic of the mini laptop and i guess some of my leg was in the picture and he said "wow you can almost see ur pussy." and I laffed bc I know he was jk bc he knows I have a boyfriend and he's best friends with him so when j had to go I forgot to close off the chat and my mom was on my facebook and sawthat he said that and now niether of my parents want me to talk to him. But I want to. What should I do. And sorry this is long. (link)

You have to admit what he said was pretty gross with or without your parents reading it. Then again, that's pre-teen boys for you.

You NEED to tell him that what he said was inappropriate, disrespectful and that your parents read it and do not want any further contact between you and him online or off.

You should tell him that his only real chance of remaining a friend is to tell his parents about what he said and how yours responded and have them and him meet your family and put it behind you once he apologizes. I think if they meet him and his family and see he made an embarrassing mistake and has learned how to behave online/off they may back pedal.

You've learned a valuable lesson here. Watch what you say in IM on Facebook or anywhere on the Internet as you never know who could read it, print it out or if parents can read it or others on a machine several people use. He's more at fault than you are but you should have told him right then and there that what he said wasn't appropriate.


okay so what does it mean when i'm always tired and i lost intrest in many things? but when im around people i always laugh and "act" like im happy but im really not what do i do ? i dont know whats wrong with me? i just feel like im not excepted by people for some odd reason i feel like im not good enough for them why do i feel this way?
(link)

How long has this been going on? Was there something that happened that serves as a possible trigger for this? You should write down your feelings, what you have been thinking, and general overall moods in a journal for awhile to get a stronger sense of the problem.

Once you have done this tell your parents exactly what you said to us and use those examples you have written down. Be sure to note whether your mood goes from sad to happy, to elated and then back down again. That's a sign of a mood disorder so you have to keep tabs on that.

After speaking with your family make an appointment with your family doctor and ask for referral to a psychiatrist. That doctor will figure out the proper treatment which usually involves sessions and anti-depressants.

Relax, you aren't crazy and won't be spending any time in the hospital unless in crisis. It would seem to me that you have issues with moods rapid cycling and be happy sometimes and then crash back down again.

You have to be careful when it comes to that happening. Make sure you don't have any grandiose ideas, plans, feelings of omnipotence or borderline delusional ideas. Look for rapid speech and thoughts that keep coming to you at a hundred miles an hour that don't cease and moods that keep flipping constantly.

If that's what is happening right now or any of it is happening and you have solid examples of it skip the family doctor and go to an emergency room for the psychiatrist to evaluate you and recommend a course of action. Likely, this will be sessions with him/her and proper medication unless you're off the rails and need to be brought back down.

While you may see a family doctor be sure of one thing you're there to get a referral to a mental health professional. Family doctors should NEVER prescribe anti-depressants or give treatment for depression, bipolar or any other mental health issues.

They aren't specialists and often ill-equipped to handle this and don't have an idea outside of throwing drugs at an issue of proper treatment involved. A psychiatrist and personal experience has taught me that much. I wish you the best. Remember to hit my inbox if you need further help.


I'm 16 years old and i'm 5' 5". How much do you think I can grow if I eat properly and stretch? And what kind of stretches can give me more height? (link)

Height is pre-determined by genetics. There's nothing including eating properly or stretching and exercising that can impact it. Platform shoes notwithstanding. You ought to be eating and exercising properly anyway that goes without saying.

When it comes to height it's usually because one or both parents are short or most people directly related to you in the past are. It's all in the D.N.A. and there's no way naturally or otherwise to alter it. You're stuck at 5 ft 5.


my skin isnt sentive but ive feel like ive tried everything to get rid of acne. it works the first dayy but then fails. any ideas on what i should use? ps kinda poor so i cant afford expensive treatment anything you can find in a store? (link)

This doesn't have to be a costly thing at all. All you need to do is see your doctor. Tell him/her about your acne problem, any scarring and what it is doing to your self-esteem.

All they need to do is give you a sample of prescription strength cream to try. Apply that as per the instructions and the medication will literally burn them off (it doesn't hurt) and prevent the bacteria that builds up and clogs your pores producing acne.

Once the tube is done all you have to do is take the prescription they will write you to a pharmacy and pay for the drug which won't be costly. Let the doctor know you're just a student and haven't figured out how to pay for everything. They might just keep supplying you with freebies which they'll monitor to help you out.

As far as scars go you'll need a dermatologist for that. Store bought solutions or those from TV don't work on severe acne or much at all with mild to moderate cases even. Why? They lack the strength of a prescription drug to do it.

I can't recommend anything really that cut it in my experience other than prescription creams. Sorry but that's about the size of it with those so-called remedies.

However, I know nothing about Proactive Solution which some swear works. If interested in that in particular you might want to modify your original question asking what people think of it in particular.


I like Gatorade sports drink. They taste good and it says it has electrolytes in it for you body to work better. Is it bad to drink Gatorade every day though? I don't want to be unhealthy and my mom said drinking Gatorade every single day is not exactly healthy. I mean, is Gatorade even bad for you though if you drink it everyday? (link)

It certainly won't kill you but has a lot of sugar in it that won't help you health wise so like the poster below stated don't drink it religiously. It tastes great but the real reason people need it is because of sports and exercise.


If you find yourself doing those activities every day and are drinking Gatorade then it's okay but otherwise I wouldn't do that and would limit it to 1-2 per week. What you should be doing to stay healthy as an alternative is drink tons of water and if you need flavor to it try those kind of waters or ones that are flavored with added vitamins as your drink of choice or add something like Crystal Light to it.


16/f
Lately,no matter what I do goes wrong.I can't study,I've lost most of my friends,my boyfriend and I are going through a HUGE crisis and I think I may lose him...I've lost all of my positivity and now I see life as all dark and no light.I am aware this might be because of puberty.But I hate that I can't truly laugh and be happy,I can't get rid of my negativity...Why is this happening to me and what should I do to stop this?It's tearing me up inside... (link)

I think it's in your best interest to see a physician who knows you intimately and tell him/her and your parents what you told us. Why? If you see life as all dark, no light, negative all the time and cannot shake it you may be experiencing onset of clinical depression.

If that's what is happening you need treatment to get better. Don't treat what's going as though it's nothing as it certainly sounds like something to discuss with a doctor as it's out of character for you. And, from the sounds of what you said it's been like this long before the boyfriend issue and a consistent thing that never fades. Tell your family and get it checked.

Also, make sure that your moods aren't rapid cycling from feeling depressed to elated and then back to depths of despair over and over. That's one of the first things that happens with bipolar disorder. I don't mean to scare you but you need to make sure you aren't suffering either or having dark thoughts and weird, grandiose thinking
or visions on top of all the darkness.

To me, you sound depressed and if so anti-depressants and counseling unless they think you're in crisis is usually the treatment if in fact they think you are which based on this question sounds like what you are dealing with. I know a lot from first hand about this kind of thing and believe me it doesn't sound like just puberty.


I feel so behind and uninspired. I just cannot make myself get up and go to class. I'm a freshman and three weeks into college. I'm not determined like I usually am. Any advice?
Thanks (link)

Get it together man! You or your parents have spent thousands and likely sacrificed a lot for you to be there. In the case of a student loan it's even worse you owe those people thousands no matter what. You can't declare bankruptcy on that and it will screw your credit up.

You need to go to class and at least try and do the assignments. If you don't they can mark you F for everything and that will be on your permanent record and screw you over with jobs or if you apply elsewhere for school.

If you truly feel as though this program isn't right for you and you don't want to be bothered see the program coordinator be blunt about being uninspired to attend and ask to bow out with no academic penalty as you're in over your head.

Next see the college or university's counsellors and see if they can't switch you into a program about something you know you love and can do as a career. That might work. But try the assignments, go if you don't want to go and put forth some kind of effort for a few weeks at least before flunking out.

Ask for help, have someone drive you don't waste money or your parent's time and sacrifice with this by not even bothering. Also, think like this thousands may have applied to get the seat you now have and the opportunity and didn't get in. You owe it to those others to try or implement the ideas above to find the right program.


My boyfriend is bisexual and I thought it was really cool for awhile because we could talk about boys together and not feel weird. The past couple of time we've had sex he's said stuff that leads me to think he wants to really have sex with another guy. Today I confronted him because, to be honest, I'm tired of this and it's getting weird in the bedroom. He said he has these fantasies and really wants to have a 3 some with another guy and me. Now, I have hard about guys wanting 3somes with another girl but not with another guy. I don't know how to handle this now because it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to do that. That's weird and NOT sexy. I told him I need time to think about this but I think he thinks I mean like to think about if I'm going to do that or not. I don't want a three some at all. What do I say to him? (link)
The guy is gay. Plain and simple. There are people who are bisexual to be sure but he's not sounding like it and loving both sexes and having same attraction. Tell him flat out that you will not bow to any kind of pressure about this and find things are getting very uncomfortable and going in a direction you can't handle and want no bloody part of ever.

As much as you like him cut him lose. He's bound to get with guys to live this fantasy out if he hasn't already with or without you partaking. You have to be careful too due to AIDS. You have no idea what he may be doing about this or has in the past with other guys.

Tell him NO and that if he doesn't understand break it off which either way I think you should. Something isn't right or healthy about this relationship and you're coming to realize it. He's into guys mostly and is more or less bringing you into it to justify sexual interactions with other males and those who may be strangers to you.

It's not safe and if you ain't down with it make sure he understands that if he really wants to be with guys sexually and you don't want to be involved with others like this to go and date guys exclusively and leave you alone.

He's not acting like someone who cares about what you feel and think nor someone who is at all interested in women and may or may not have you around to conceal his real preferences for all we know at this juncture.


i finger myself all the time and im really kinda young and i dont want to get prenate. can you get pregnat from sticking fingers in your vagina? it feels good and i dont wanna stop but i dont want to have a baby because of it. i do it until i cum if that makes a diffrance. and if that can get u pregant then what about just rubbing it on the out side??? is that risky to? (link)

This can't make you pregnant only intercourse can. You have nothing to worry about because what you are doing is considered normal and healthy and pretty much universal with your age group both male and female. It's a form of masturbation. You're fine. Nothing bad will happen to you nor is it risky.


Hey, I'm just wondering but do you have any idea how I can meet Justin Bieber? I tried meeting him at the concert a couple of days ago, but the security was incredible. All the tickets and meet and greets are sold out everywhere now, and I would love to meet him. My family makes GOOD money, so we have enough money to afford meeting him. I've entered multiple contests, and i didn't win anything. I follow him on twitter. You will get five's from me all the time if you answer this right! PLEASE, help me..... i love him very much (: I've got a serious case of bieber fever.... (link)

Justin Bieber is a mystery to me. I don't get the attraction to him to be honest. He has an average voice, often is flat or off-key and doesn't have dance skills or much of a stage presence. He seems to be a fad and flavor of the month.

Based on lack of skills I'm surprised how far he's made it when you look at other singers and groups out there with bigger names and reputation. Then again, I'm not an 11-15-year-old girl who won't notice these things and or ignore them about him.

How do you meet him? Well, there's a few different ways to do it legally. 1)If a company or charity function has him contracted for a private concert or fundraiser there's always a free meet and greet for people who show up.

2)Get a Ticketmaster card loaded up with money a day or two before the show goes on sale, register online for an account and right when the tickets go on sale buy the VIP package.

3) Figure out what time sound check commences and ends at the venue and wait and see if you get lucky with him coming out the stage door for an autograph.

4) If your family or someone else you know has a legitimate case of a child with an illness etc that is life-ending and invites you on a make a wish event or charity event of that fashion.

That's the only way to meet him unless you just run into him somehow. I've heard he's a bit egotistical and can be a jerk with fans and others but it all depends on how approached. If you ever do meet any celebrity treat them like a normal interaction with a normal person as they'll respond better to you.


14/female

I feel as if I might die soon. I have felt like this before about a year ago. The think is when I do feel like this I don't get scared. I'm not afraid of dying. If I where to die right now I would be okay with it. I know this isn't good because I told my very trusted god father about this before and he said I shouldn't not mind dying. He cares for me and I don't want to worry him like that again. I, honestly, don't want to grow old. I don't want to be a useless old women.

So what do you think.. I have been having problems with my friends lately and my grandma is on her death bed. (link)

You have to dismiss these irrational thoughts and thinking as not being your own. It's a pack of lies trying to scare you and invade your head. Stand guard mentally like a bouncer at a club and tell yourself that it isn't true.

These thoughts are coming to you and are based on fear or trauma of some sort surrounding death, disease or something along those lines. It's all nonsense. You're 14-years-old and not about to die, do not have a dread disease, aren't old or about to be in an accident.

The odds of that last one are huge. Put simply, it's not going to happen no matter how persistent those thoughts are. Now, you aren't crazy nor do people need to be crazy to see a psychiatrist or medical professional about this. It would be in your great interest to do so. Why? They can sort out what's causing these thoughts and figure out how to help you permanently eradicate them.

Also, just because someone may be old doesn't mean that they're weak or about to die. Many people who are seniors live a productive life, enjoy themselves and never slow down no matter what. It's not bad to live longer.

Many are as sharp as a tack and feisty and there's no reason to expect otherwise for yourself. It's just irrational bullshit you're allowing yourself to entertain. Find out the reason why and kick it out of your head.


18/f
so i've only thrown up about two times in my life and that was when i had my tonsils removed when i was 6.. all of a sudden a few days ago i felt very nauseas and threw up multiple times. now, three days later i'm still feeling nauseas.
i'm just concerned because this is very rare for me.
- my digestive system has always been messed up. i don't often "go to the bathroom" so i figured i threw up because it was a way of getting everything out. but yet, i'm still feeling sick. (link)

There's a good chance it's acid reflux. If you have a lot of nausea for no apparent reason and a taste in your mouth like you're going to upchuck there's a good chance it is. The acid builds up as it has nowhere to go but up and out. It creates vomit.

What do you do? Well, over the counter antacids should help such as ranitidine (Zantac), Tums etc. You take one every 12 hours when nauseated to prevent vomiting.

If you're throwing up non-stop for hours on end and this always happens rather than being isolated incidents months apart than you should see an emergency room physician to treat it as it could be ulcers or worse. They'll put a scope down and look at your stomach lining to figure out what's going on.




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