A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
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Last Update: April 13, 2014
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I'm fifteen years old and I had some questions about parenting.
Now before anybody jumps to conclusions:
1) No I am not pregnant
2) I am not thinking about getting pregnant any time soon
I was just wondering, how do you know when you are ready for a baby? Me, personally, I can't wait to get married and start my family...but how do you know?
Mothers out there, I'd really like to hear from you. Did you all of a sudden just know you wanted to have a baby with your husband (or boyfriend, depending)?
And a stupid question, does it hurt? Pregnancy, I mean. I know that you must feel so great after finally having the baby since now there's this person that you've created and it's special and wonderful.
Did you have any worries? Any worrying during like the 8th month that you're just not sure? I'm worried that when I do get pregnant (when I'm ready of course) that at the last minute I'll feel too scared and wonder if I really will be a good parent.
And I know I'm only fifteen, but I really just wanted to know, and to hear from some of you. I am not going to run out and get pregnant just because I want a baby because obviously at fifteen I am nowhere near emotionally/physically ready to bring a child into the world. Just had some hypothetical/theoretical questions that's all. =]
Thanks. (link)
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When are you ready?
I would say, when you are ready to set an example for said baby.
When you can as a family support yourselves in a house/apt/whatever large enough to have kids in.
When you can demonstrate through action how your child should behave. Handling arguments maturely, being a decent person (in public, at least), etc.
I would say, that when you and your husband/wife can provide a stable home for a child, and are ready to provide an example and role model to that child not just of love, but of responsibility and commitment, you are ready.
In my opinion, in the most general terms, that means about 25 and up.
Everyone worries that they will be a good parent. The trick to knowing you will be, is having non emotional logical arguments in your own favor.
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is weed like addictive?
i don't know my friends wanted me to try it with them.
and i know the whole drugs are bad for you.
but we just wanna try it once so we can be like nooo don't do it!!
and someone told me that its good for you?
is it true?
i need an answer fast. please&thankyou (link)
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Madison pretty much summed it up.
The dangers of pot are about the same as the dangers on a number of other activities. It is something to which you can give large amounts of time and moderate amounts of money in excess of what you have to give.
It is not chemically addictive, but as with many activities considered "fun" by the participants it can develop into behavioral habits.
Heres my perspective for you.
You are obviously somewhat young. In your teens, early or late.
Right now is when you are learning to be an adult. You are not ready for the full burden of adult responsibility. Thats why the world hands you bits and pieces at a time. Jobs are possible at 14-15 and up. Voting, moving out and going to college or supporting yourself at 18. Drinking at 21. Its supposed to expose you to being an adult without giving you too much to handle.
Heres the thing. Obviously, even some adults struggle with substance abuse, addiction, and dependency. Things that adults have trouble handling, even with the greater experience, knowledge, maturity, etc, can cause much more severe problems for people who are still learning to get their shit together and start doing things for themselves.
You aren't ready for normal responsibility, and substances are more responsibility than many adults who can handle normal responsibility can take.
And there have been psychological studies that say when someone develops a substance abuse problem, they usually stop maturing mentally.
If a 25 year old person who knows how to work, hold a job, pay their rent, and manage their own life develops a severe drug habit that lasts for 5 years, then quits and rehabs and goes back to a normal life, they are now 30, and they still know how to take care of themselves.
If a 15 year old person who has never supported themselves or paid their own bills, or handled any of those kinds of adult responsibilities develops a substance habit for 5 years, they can end up 20, still with absolutely no knowledge of how to take care of themselves or exist in an adult world. They spent years of very important learning and preparation time too strung out to learn to BE an adult, and so even when they come out of it, theyre still not ready to take up an adult life.
And the world can be pretty harsh with those who cannot support themselves.
Its something to think about, at any rate.
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Well this summer I made some stupid decisions and I got a fine for underage drinking. I am applying early to Brown University, and I was wondering if colleges do legal background checks on applicants?? I am really stressed about this (link)
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Doubtful, but you can make a call to the admissions department tomorrow anonymously and ask them if they do background checks and such.
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Hi, i'm looking for a good laptop to take to school. Basically what I want is something that can handle my photography really well, and also regular school stuff, documents, etc. Simple, but fast and durable. I would also like a large screen. Anything under 2K is good. (link)
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Buy a Dell.
Why?
PCs are better than Macs. Its a simple fact, they are more compatible and if protected correctly just as safe and reliable, and if you back up your data you can just reformat it and reload windows every 6 months and it will run until the hardware dies (my laptop is at the 5 year mark and on its way out)
Why Dell?
Because they have the best guarantees. You can get a great laptop plus a great warranty, and dell is by far the most customer friendly group you can deal with. Ive seen the inside of apple customer support and tech support. They have just as many if not more lemon computers going out, and once you've made it past the return period dealing with their tech is a nightmare. Dell, by comparison, will show up at your house and fix it for you if necessary.
You can build a desktop, but laptops you're going to get from a company, and simply put dell is the easiest by far to deal with. You can get a great computer for under 2k easily, you can design it yourself, and you can insure it against all kinds of crap. Accidental damage, parts wear, etc for 4 years.
I use alienware, but theyve been bought out by Dell (who is better with warranties and tech than even alienware was) and in the 3 years I had my computer Ive replaced a screen, a hard drive, my CD drive and the video card.
To give you an idea, I use computers hard. Lots of graphics intensive programs that generate alot of heat, lots of burned CDs, lots of everything. Downloading things for literally days without a break.
A Dell computer will last a good while and come relatively cheap.
If "school" means "college" you might want to look into your college's tech programs. At mine, they had a deal with microsoft to sell windows xp pro and microsoft office professional for 20 bucks instead of hundreds that it costs retail.
If thats the case, you could talk to dell about wiping windows vista and putting xp pro on it and ask how well it would utilize the system resources (I don't know how well XP runs with dual or quad core processors, or more than 2-3 gigs of ram. Something to research)
Go to dell.com and design one. Thats probably what you should end up buying.
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alright..soo iam 16 iam going to be 17 soon and i really dont want to have sex. like i think my age is wayyy too young to even be thinking about it. but all the guys my age or older already expect it. i really dont know what to do, cause you can never really find decent guys anymore that will wait. and if you tell them you dont want to have sex they will either keep pushing you or just leave you right then and there...i dont really know what to do, and i DONT want to have sex expecially not yet. (link)
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Hard question, to be honest. Very hard question.
I can understand where you're coming from, and I can understand where others are coming from as well.
Simply put, sex in our culture right now is more accepted and normal than it has been in a LONG time. This means that yes, its more expected than it used to be.
Let me give you some perspective to understand whats going on here.
I'm in my Mid 20s. At my age, sex is relatively expected. I had a brief time single last year, and sex happened by or before date 3.
Everyone my age pretty much has had sex. Its normal, its something both sides want.
I also skew towards girls who are more sexually driven. Just a tendency, I drift towards girls like that unconsciously, and I am simply not attracted to girls who aren't experienced enough to want sex themselves, and know what they want out of it.
Its like this alot of the time in and beyond college. People are attracted to those who share their values. Because I am not limited to a high school population I am (or was) free to find girls who feel about sex the same way that I do.
Thing is, you're in high school. The guys your age see how people MY age behave, and think that adult behavior is defined by wanting and getting sex. Ive gotten comments more than once about how the girls I date or am interested in "must be really easy"
No, theyre not. But as adults we meet, and we understand what each other want, and are mature enough that the choice to indulge is not a bad one. Its not about "scoring with chicks" its about meeting people who want the same things you want.
In a high school population, it doesnt work like that. Guys are after ANYONE they can get, and you are put in the position of "conform to my sexual desires or get pressured or get dumped"
I'm telling you all of this for two reasons.
1) So you can understand why guys your age are the way they are (though some guys stay like this much longer than high school)
2) So you can have an idea of whats waiting for you when you get out of teeny-bopper hell and enter something more akin to the real world.
If you aren't ready for sex, don't have any. Your choice to do that should be because YOU want to have sex with someone, not because you feel like you're going to lose someone, or feel like you just should. It should in my opinion ALWAYS be because you desire the specific person you are with.
I can't say I've always held myself to that, but I aspire to.
And if you hit college a virgin, your world will open up because all of a sudden you will be able to select from anyone you want without having to deal with the teen drama community you live in now, and you can search out people who have your ethics, standards, and desires.
Don't lower your standards because you feel alone. High standards are always harder to meet, but the results are often far more worthwhile than compromising.
::Edit::
I'm going to address something from "Peeps" below me.
Good guys are everywhere. That being said, you won't be compatible with all the good guys out there. There is more to "having things in common" with people than which movies you like and where you like to eat. Sexual compatibility is a real thing.
The caveat. A good guy will not expect you to do anything. He will have his desires, and if he doesn't match with you he will move on amicably.
Good guys don't pressure, and they don't try to get you to do things you don't want to do. Good guys try to figure out what you want, and if that is compatible with them.
You should be doing the same. Every date is not a future marriage partner. You should approach dating like an interview.
You shouldn't feel like its a judgment against you if someone wants sex, you don't, and thats enough reason to not continue dating. He wants one thing and you want another, and whatever you do have in common, you DON'T have something in common that is important to both of you.
Again, alot of this applies far more to after high school when you have the opportunity to find decent guys who are no longer brainwashed into the "I am a guy and I want to have sex because it makes me feel like a big boy" mentality that you are dealing with now.
For right now, just be clear early on and stick to your guns.
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i have a dell latitude that's fairly new, with windows vista OS.
when it comes out of sleep mode or hibernation or whatever vista calls it (when the screen is black and the power light is blinking on and off), the task bar is usually gone. it is not resized, and the start menu button is still there. it just shows the desktop picture where the task bar should be. anyone know how i can fix this? i've already run some system scans and it says things are fine, so i don't think it's a virus or anything. (link)
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Hit Ctrl + Alt + Delete
Go to "processes" and find "explorer"
Right click on it and choose end process.
Go to the file menu on the task manager and run a new program, type "explorer"
You just basically reloaded the navigation software windows uses, and everything should be fine.
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I do not have access to a television and heard from my best friend today that some major banks are filing bankruptcy. My best friend said she was watching CNN, CSPAN, and CSPAN2 all night long because everyone was panicking over the economic break.
I have been trying to find information about this online but am having little luck and am beginning to believe she misunderstood the entire ordeal about major banks filing bankruptcy and economic downfall.
So, I suppose what I'm asking is what in the United States happened all over the news on September 26, 2008, other than the normal presidential election talk, of course. She clearly said that it was splattered all over the news. I know the economy is dying, but I didn't encounter anyone else today panicking over banks going bankrupt or anything of the sort. (link)
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Yeah, there have been a few banks going under because of bad business decisions. The truly major ones are fine, but anything thats local or regional... well theyre expecting 20-30 semi major banks to go before the end of the year.
No one knows which ones, though, because the federal watch list is not public information.
The economy isn't "Dying" but we are definitely headed towards recession. The Bush administration has probably set more than one record for economic irresponsibility. All these corporate profits and such come at a price.
People aren't panicking, but the simple fact is that our economy is circling the drain.
All we can do now is watch, and hope.
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is it true that teenage guys (around 16-17) get semi-hard or totally hard every 90minutes??
i was discussing this with a kid in class, i know great classroom conversation. well anyway he was saying he was half hard and it happens every 90 minutes but i thought that happened when they were like 13-15....not 16/17 (link)
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Depends entirely on the guy and the level of stimulation present.
I personally never went through the "inconvenient hardon" phase. It takes more than being in the presence of girls my age in flattering clothing to get me to that point.
The same cannot be said for other guys.
A possible cause, usually people with unreleased sexual tension go through things like this more frequently. Another example would be wet dreams, where the body releases the tension the only way it has, if its not getting what it wants from other sources.
So, hes probably a virgin who doesn't masturbate enough.
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so a couple months back, i took a taxi home late from my boyfriends house. the cab driver was about my age and started talking to me. it got weird when he asked if i had a bf. but then on my dark road, he asked if i wanted to go somewhere and he specifically mentioned getting head. i said no thats so inappropriate. i felt so violated. in a cab you trust the driver to be safe. as a passanger i am vulnerable. i feel like i could have been raped! do i have a sexual harrassment case? the driver was persistant and almost began begging, it was terrible.
(link)
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Taxi Driver is providing a service as a representative of whatever company.
Heres the thing.
You have a case if you have evidence. If it was just you and him in that car, its your word vs his unless he had a camera recording him (I can guarantee that he didn't, cab companies don't monitor their people like that usually) so that doesnt make for a case that a lawyer would take.
If you know a lawyer, ask some questions, but more than likely all you can do is give his cab company a call if you took down his cab number, license plate, and company.
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I KNOW THIS MESSAGE IS LONG BUT PLEASE HELP ME :(
Hello i am 19 year old girl, i have a loving family and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years, he is my first ever boyfriend and my first in everything sex wise and relationship wise. ALOT has happened so i'll just tell you the simple version. The relationship started out fine in the beginning and then after about a year he started to get very argumentative and very angry later on that year he broke up with me and told me he slept with another girl and wore a condom BUT didnt cheat on me, and after a month he wanted to get back together, so i did, 3 months after we got back together i dragged out of him that he didnt in fact wear a condom so he lied to me, i undertook the correct precautions when he told me this and thankfully everything was fine with me and him so stayed with him despite the lie, 6 months later i then found out that he lied again when he said that he slept with the girl when we broke up he actually cheated on me, he acted very sorry and said the arguments would stop and things would change so i forgave him again.
Throughout all of this he has gained a very bad relationship with my mother and relatives, when we first got together my mum treated him extemley well but since the cheating he has been cocky and arrogant to my mother, when he was arguing at me again about a month a go, my mum got involved as she didnt like the way he was talking to me and he told her to 'shut her f***ing mouth.'
he refuses to take me out anywhere as he says he cant be bothered.
It has now been 6 months since these lies adn arguments and i feel now has been the final straw. my grandmother was ill and i told him that i could only see him for 3 hours, i told him this as his house he FLIPPED 'What the f*** you didnt tell me how dare you' i then said im leaving and he blocked the door i shouted and went into the living room, he blocked that door he wouldnt let me out i called my mother and he was in the background SHOUTING and SWEARING and he wouldnt let me out, he then said go on get out theres the door f*** off and DIE i went to leave and he blocked the door again saying it was a joke and he loves me. eventually his parents came home and said they would give me a lift home, he said 'its my f***ing car too im coming as well' he was swearing at me saying your a bitch you treat me like s*** you treat me like a dog no wonder you dont have any friends. now he is acting like nothing has happened saying i love you all the time and saying he wants to take me some place special for my birthday and give me my birthday presents.
i know i should leave him but this is all i know since i was 17 and im so scared to leave him, im going to university but i have no friends and scared of never being loved by anyone else and he'll be the only one who'll ever love me :(
please help (link)
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Oi...
Being alone is hard. Everyone has a first love.
Thing is, he gets to get away with these things because you let him, and you're three years into the relationship which means its a bit too late to change things now.
As I said, everyone has a first love. Its generally not a good idea, and rarely does it happen that you stay with your first love.
I guarantee you that other people will love you. As long as you see something in yourself worth loving, others will see it too. Thats not an opinion, thats a fact.
I had issues with this a while back. I'm in a relationship going on 4 years now. Last October, we broke up. Bad break up too.
I was terrified. All of a sudden I was alone in the world. Well, it felt like it anyway. I'm kinda the opposite of you, I have amazing friends and don't speak to my family. I took comfort in those who cared about me, and got back out into the dating world.
I was surprised to find that I actually was seen as "worth dating". I didn't think that would have been the case. I felt like I had nothing to offer anyone but my girlfriend and only she would see value in me.
I could not have been more wrong. Neither could you.
Honestly, your self esteem is shot to shit. He's got you where he wants you, he keeps you feeling like he's your only option and he can do whatever the hell he wants.
Its time to cut that off. Permanently. Simply put, this relationship you described is past recovery. He is too used to the way things are, and at your age you are slowly learning who you are. You are changing into a new person, and he doesnt want to let you because who you are now, he has control over.
I can't say you'll find the willpower to break it off, but without question that is what I advise.
If you live with him, move out. Delete his phone number, change yours, block his e-mail, tell him you don't ever want to hear from him again. Cut off contact as totally and completely as you possibly can.
He is a spoiled brat with no concept of the fact that he is supposed to control himself and not be an arrogant angry insulting prick.
Do what he deserves and kick his ass to the curb.
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Which one of these make money online jobs are really true? I need to make some extra money on the side like even if it was 500 dollars a month but I would like to find more. Thanks! (link)
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Most "online jobs" are fake. The vast overwhelming majority.
You'll see all kinds of promises and then they ask you to send money for training materials so you can "get started"
Theyre actually just trying to get money out of you.
Craigslist.org is a great resource. See if they have your local area, check for classified ads for jobs.
Check your local news paper too.
Those are the best places to find random side jobs. If you want to make money you either have to figure out how to wrestle some on your own with your own method, or get a job like most everyone else.
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hi wittyusernamehere...
you answered to my question that I should talk with my best friend but I am scared that he might think I am jeolous over him getting into a relationship or trying to ruin his relationship with his girlfriend (which is one of my friends). If I bring out this problem to him, I am also scared that our friendship will not be as it used to be.. like now I already felt there is a gap between us that is making us far apart. And its not easy to get a boyfriend. Sometimes I felt like texting him or calling him just to talk when I am bored but I am scared I might disturb him dating or bothers him till he thinks I am problematic.
"you do think that you should be a bit more of a priority than you are considering how long you've been friends." I actually thought about this for sometime, but definetely I wont get to be priority in him cause his girlfriend will definetely be his priority now. I am now only his option where I felt that he someone forgets me already. Is it normal that I actually think about this issue? I just can't stop thinking how my friendship with him will be in another year time... is there no other way than just calling him?
(link)
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Heh
My girlfriend has a few suggestions for you. She's been in somewhat the same situation recently.
Her best friend (guy named Jon) has done this to her before. He gets a girlfriend, and they become inseparable, and she gets shoved onto the back burner.
Her solution was honesty, patience, and the phrase "bros before hoes"
Thats a direct quote, so blame her if it sound ridiculous.
Pretty much the above, my best suggstion starts with the patience. Realize that he's all into his girlfriend and wants to spend as much time with her as possible. Understand that he's not going to want to spend all his time with her forever.
Try to get him alone somehow. Lunch, a quick chat. Tell him that you want to stay good close friends without interfering. Tell him you understand if he's busy with his girlfriend, but that he's still going to need friends once the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over and that you want him to remember that you exist and make efforts to keep in touch and maintain the friendship.
Tell him that after 8 years you expect this of him, and its not that much to ask of a friend. Who's going to be there holding his hand and telling him its alright if he breaks up? His friends. Who's going to know him well enough to talk him through problems? His best friend. You.
Communication is your best avenue.
The final bit, is stick around. Jon used to take my girl for granted alot. But when a relationship crashed around his ears and he had no one to talk to but her, he realized that she was still there and still cared. Then he realized exactly how much of a dick he had been.
Though he's still bad about it at times, he doesnt take her for granted anymore and they are still best friends. He knows she'll be there even when he fucks up and he tries really hard not to fuck up.
Its like any other relationship. You both have to want it, and when there are problems they must be discussed.
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my friend is 16 and pregnant and shes my best friend, and shes thinking about abortion but like its her fault and the fathers, that she got pregnant what can i say to her to make her listen to other options like ive tried to bring it up but she keeps saying she wouldnt feel guilty and all this stuff
what should i do or say? (link)
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Talk to her about adoption, but let her make her own decision. Its her choice, not yours. And whatever you believe, she will be the one living with the decision and the consequences.
Part of being an adult is living with your own choices. You don't have the right to interfere with her right to step up to that.
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I'm turning 14 soon and I'm gonna have a birthday party at my house. I'm inviting all my friends...its like around 16 at the most. I have no idea what to do. I've never had a birthday party before and all the ones I've been at didn't do much. We walked to the park and stuff. I don't have those kinds of things where I live. I need ideas for a 14 year old girls birthday party. There is gonna be guys there too so its not gonna be a sleepover. Please help me. I need to figure this out soon. Thanks so much! (link)
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Hmm.
I'll grab Lazer Tag from below. This is a great activity because it involves everyone equally, problem is its expensive to rent a place out, and unorganized to just go while theyre open and mix in with everyone.
Cranium. Single greatest board game ever. Perfect for small parties. Everyone is involved.
Twister. Games in which you make a fool of yourself and die laughing are always good ideas. Fun in a co-ed environment without being risque.
Caffinated drinking game. Pick a movie, come up with some rules, and get a large supply of something with alot of caffeine. Use expresso for extra zing and angry calls to your parents about how people's children refuse to go to sleep.
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Male, 25.
I'll keep it quick.
My girlfriend went away for a year overseas. We kept in touch, and everything.
But when she came back, it's like we're constantly at odds. I mean, we were one of those classical bickering couples already. But now she's seemingly intolerant of just everything I do. And she's increasingly stopped being patient when I can't do something with her because of me observing religious occasions. I mean, she used to be cool with our religious differences, and now she acts like the same things I've always done are now inconvenient for her.
What's adding to my problems is that I'm starting to realize that I've been nursing a crush on a long-time female friend, who just recently finally managed to land the man she's always wanted.
I'm too honest to turn on a committment like the kind I made to my girlfriend, and I'm too kind to tell my friend my feelings which could cause problems for her.
Honestly, I feel like if things go on as they are, I'm going to go crazy or have a breakdown or drive my car into a tree. But regardless of the options available to me, there is no path that doesn't make me the villain.
The only course I seem to have left is simply cut ties with my friend, and see my relationship to whatever end it may take. And when it does end, just never bother with it again.
Anyone have a better solution for me? (link)
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Honestly, your solution isnt half bad.
Theres one thing about it though. The decision you posted you're doing the right things the wrong way.
You do need to reign in and keep ahold of your crush. Crushes are crushes, and if she really is in love with someone else, I'd let that do whatever its going to do. Its not good to interfere in someones life without a good reason (things would be different if you'd been exchanging longing looks and letters tinged with romantic innuendo for a while with said friend)
As to your relationship, you might want to think about what you really want here...
I mean, it is YOUR life too, and you shouldn't just "see it to its end, wherever that might be"
You need to sit down and talk to your girlfriend about how things have changed, and if shes changed. No accusations, no tearful guilt tripping. A quiet, calm, matter of fact "where exactly do you stand with us, sweetheart"
Decide for yourself if you WANT to maintain your relationship, or let it go. The easiest approach is "You seem upset with things you weren't, we're fighting all the time, I don't feel like we're on the same side anymore. Are we?"
Same way, if you do want to continue and save the relationship, tell her so. "I want to stay with you. I want to work us out. But I can't do it alone, and if you don't want this, I'd rather not spend the next several months to a year at each other's throats"
Something along those lines.
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where can I download spybot search&destroy?
I know that I can easily look it up on google and find a thousand links saying I can download it, but I've heard that there are some websites that instead of downloading spybot, you are actually downloading spyware or a virus or some kind of malicious software on your computer.
So yeah, I just wanted to be safe and ask on here :}
Thanks. (link)
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Safer-networking just like posted below. Just vouching for the authenticity of that site (Spybot user for 3 years running =p)
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I just want to get some people's opinions on this: What do you think about girls asking guys out?
ANY AND ALL OPINIONS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED :) (link)
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I think high school would have been alot less painful at times if girls did this.
Go for it.
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My ex-boyfriend called me today out of the blue when I was out with some friends. He was just like, "Hey, I just drove past your house! And I was like, man I haven't talked to that girl in awhile so I figured I'd call..." So I told him I wasn't home and asked him why he was at my house. And it was really strange, because he didn't really have anything to say to me he just wanted to chat we didn't talk long since I was with people. He said he'd probably call me back later on. So what is going on? He is obviously thinking about me. But it seems almost stalker-ish. What should I do if he keeps calling? (link)
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Theres about a 10% chance that it was innocent, he just drove past your house, and decided to call you.
Theres about a 90% chance that he's rethinking losing you and drove past your house in a slightly stalkerish manner.
He also stated that he would call you later, rather than asking if he could. Usually a bad sign, he's not taking no for an answer and not giving you a chance to answer in the first place.
Are you interested?
If not, make that clear. Give him no hope. No "Ive missed talking to yous" or anything like that. Just say hi, ask how he is, feel him out or tell him to go away.
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I have a best friend which is a male while I am a female. We used to hang out alot in the past by going for movie, have lunch/dinner together and doing all sorts of crazy things until late midnight. We are so close till he will care for me when I am sick/sad and he usually shares his problem with me, and vice versa. We used to sms till late midnight too when we need someone to keep as companian when we're bored. Things had changed recently when he told me that he has a girlfriend. I was happy for him to get into a relationship but on the other hand, I was sad because I know things will not be the same anymore as it used to be. I know we won't do all these crazy things like we used to do before he got into a relationship. Somehow, I felt that he has forgotten me and he doesn't seem to care about me anymore now. Whenever I sms him, he replies very short as though he doesn't want to sms with me, giving me all sorts of reasons to avoid me (eg: phone low battery, busy) and there is no word of concern from him anymore. Last time when he was busy, he will definetely get back to me when he is free. I am very sad over this issue as I do not know how to handle this. I thought of forgetting him as my best friend and move on, but its difficult to do it. I have known him for about nearly 8 years now. What should I do? I really need an advice to overcome this problem and I always think of how boring my life will be without my best friend. How can I solve this friendship between him and I, I just want things to be like last time. Should I move on and forget my best friend? (link)
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Talk to him.
Give him a call and ask to have lunch with him. Tell him you feel alienated, and while you don't want to take up all of his time, you do think that you should be a bit more of a priority than you are considering how long you've been friends.
Also, go get a boyfriend if you don't have one, and double date. Get to know his girlfriend on some level of non-threatening terms.
Communication heals rifts, he might not even realize how much he's avoiding you.
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I have this bestfriend who I absolutely love to death. She's 14 years old. She started smoking at 13 and she won't stop. She will seriously do just about anything for ciggarettes. She smokes sooo much. She's always coughing, I told her that it's slowly killing her but she won't listen! She gets persuaded so easily. I'm afraid that next it's gonna be drugs. She hasn't had sex before, But she's done everything but that! And i'm afraid that soon she's gonna take the next step. She always sneaks around with guys who are WAAY older then her to the point where it's illegal. She also cuts for stupid reasons. Her parents know that she does and they didn't really do anything about it when they found out. The last time she cut herself was because her boyfriend didn't text her. It's ridiculous. How do I help lead my friend in the right direction? She's going down the wrong path and it's killing me.
(link)
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Exactly what was below.
Talk to her parents.
Tell them what you told us. Tell them that their daughter is going down a self destructive path because she doesn't know any better and needs attention, structure, and discipline.
If nothing changes, speak to a school counselor.
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