|
I am afraid if I speak out
hi wittyusernamehere...
you answered to my question that I should talk with my best friend but I am scared that he might think I am jeolous over him getting into a relationship or trying to ruin his relationship with his girlfriend (which is one of my friends). If I bring out this problem to him, I am also scared that our friendship will not be as it used to be.. like now I already felt there is a gap between us that is making us far apart. And its not easy to get a boyfriend. Sometimes I felt like texting him or calling him just to talk when I am bored but I am scared I might disturb him dating or bothers him till he thinks I am problematic.
"you do think that you should be a bit more of a priority than you are considering how long you've been friends." I actually thought about this for sometime, but definetely I wont get to be priority in him cause his girlfriend will definetely be his priority now. I am now only his option where I felt that he someone forgets me already. Is it normal that I actually think about this issue? I just can't stop thinking how my friendship with him will be in another year time... is there no other way than just calling him?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Heh
My girlfriend has a few suggestions for you. She's been in somewhat the same situation recently.
Her best friend (guy named Jon) has done this to her before. He gets a girlfriend, and they become inseparable, and she gets shoved onto the back burner.
Her solution was honesty, patience, and the phrase "bros before hoes"
Thats a direct quote, so blame her if it sound ridiculous.
Pretty much the above, my best suggstion starts with the patience. Realize that he's all into his girlfriend and wants to spend as much time with her as possible. Understand that he's not going to want to spend all his time with her forever.
Try to get him alone somehow. Lunch, a quick chat. Tell him that you want to stay good close friends without interfering. Tell him you understand if he's busy with his girlfriend, but that he's still going to need friends once the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over and that you want him to remember that you exist and make efforts to keep in touch and maintain the friendship.
Tell him that after 8 years you expect this of him, and its not that much to ask of a friend. Who's going to be there holding his hand and telling him its alright if he breaks up? His friends. Who's going to know him well enough to talk him through problems? His best friend. You.
Communication is your best avenue.
The final bit, is stick around. Jon used to take my girl for granted alot. But when a relationship crashed around his ears and he had no one to talk to but her, he realized that she was still there and still cared. Then he realized exactly how much of a dick he had been.
Though he's still bad about it at times, he doesnt take her for granted anymore and they are still best friends. He knows she'll be there even when he fucks up and he tries really hard not to fuck up.
Its like any other relationship. You both have to want it, and when there are problems they must be discussed.
]
More Questions: |