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Should I Be Bothered..
my bf does't speak to his ex gf or anything anymore so i wouldn't really class them as mates, but she got beat up by her current bf the other day and my boyfriend went to see her =S When i asked him why he was going he said because she is his mate :S but they never talk so they can't really be that good mates can they. I have been with my bf for 10 months so it isn't as if he has just finished with his ex...he hasn't been with her for years. Do u think i should be bothered about this ? =\ I kinda am but i dont know if i should say anything to him... ? Please help ... would you be bothered ? Thanks x
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You shouldnt be asking if we are bothered, because different people will react differently. If I told you I will not be bothered, does it make you feel any better? It might influence you to not be bothered, but you won't be happy because that's not how you would usually react.
That aside, get some assurance from him. He went to see her because she needed someone's support and encouragement right now. Most girls will not be happy when her bf still have connections with his ex. But you should talk to him and if he tells you he's just being there as a friend for her, then trust him for that. If you feel that he gives you a rather shady response, tell him your honest opinion that he isn't sparing a thought for your feelings.
Position yourself in his shoes. Imagine it was you who went to see an ex of yours. How would you feel if your bf accused you if you simply went there as a mate? But then again, whether he is there as a mate or not is really hard to tell simply based on what you told us. I suggest you talk to him, and don't keep your feelings bottled up.
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Ask yourself a different question:
Would you be bothered, if someone you once cared very deeply for, got beaten up?
Probably. It doesn't matter if they aren't really 'friends' anymore. They have a history and they were close once. If she had died, would you be bothered by him going to the funeral? Probably not. Him going would the proper show of affection and respect for a person he once cared deeply for.
There is no reason to automatically suspect him going to see her after she got beat up is much different.
Frankly, in your position, I'd be more bothered that some poor girl got assualted, then that my boyfriend had a senstive enough heart to be effected by it. I'd be the most bothered if he didn't give a damn that a girl he once cared for got hurt... That would be a bit creepy.
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