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what should I do? I'm confused
I have a best friend which is a male while I am a female. We used to hang out alot in the past by going for movie, have lunch/dinner together and doing all sorts of crazy things until late midnight. We are so close till he will care for me when I am sick/sad and he usually shares his problem with me, and vice versa. We used to sms till late midnight too when we need someone to keep as companian when we're bored. Things had changed recently when he told me that he has a girlfriend. I was happy for him to get into a relationship but on the other hand, I was sad because I know things will not be the same anymore as it used to be. I know we won't do all these crazy things like we used to do before he got into a relationship. Somehow, I felt that he has forgotten me and he doesn't seem to care about me anymore now. Whenever I sms him, he replies very short as though he doesn't want to sms with me, giving me all sorts of reasons to avoid me (eg: phone low battery, busy) and there is no word of concern from him anymore. Last time when he was busy, he will definetely get back to me when he is free. I am very sad over this issue as I do not know how to handle this. I thought of forgetting him as my best friend and move on, but its difficult to do it. I have known him for about nearly 8 years now. What should I do? I really need an advice to overcome this problem and I always think of how boring my life will be without my best friend. How can I solve this friendship between him and I, I just want things to be like last time. Should I move on and forget my best friend?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Ive been through this, except its when my bestfriend (male) and his girlfriend broke up is when he kinda lost everything. We fought constantly over dumb things. He left sate for a while and we still fought. pointless friendship i suppose. Anywho, you need to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. I mean you've known him 8 years, why give up now? If he's any type of bestfriend he'll realize how much his friendship means to you and you dont want to lose your bestfriend.
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Talk to him.
Give him a call and ask to have lunch with him. Tell him you feel alienated, and while you don't want to take up all of his time, you do think that you should be a bit more of a priority than you are considering how long you've been friends.
Also, go get a boyfriend if you don't have one, and double date. Get to know his girlfriend on some level of non-threatening terms.
Communication heals rifts, he might not even realize how much he's avoiding you.
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I don't think you should move on and forget you're best friend unless he is giving a damned good reason to do so. If you like him and have feelings for him maybe you should be upfront and tell him how you feel. If you miss him as a friend and just feel abandoned maybe you should call him and exsplain to him that you understand he has a girlfriend now and he's in a relationship but you miss the old times that you two used to spend hanging out together.
Bahaima22
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Hi,
No, I don't think you should move on and forget about him. From what you have said in your case you have been friends a long time and have been through a lot of things together.
I know you are probably hurt byt what he is doing right now, but I can almost promise you that he will come around and start acting like the best friend you have come to love.
There could be two reasons why he is treating you this way. One, he is new to the relationship that he is in and he is in the infatuation stage. You have to be a little more empathetic to him. He likes her and he wants to be with and talk to her all the time. It is only natural.
Two, he might have told his girlfriend about you and she is not too comfortable about him being so close to another female. This is understandable too. Don't you think.
I would suggest that you call him and ask can the two of you meet and talk about your friendship. It seems as though the two of you are close enough and you can tell him how you feel. Tell him that you understand he's in a relationship, but you miss him and you feel hurt.
Let him take it from there. I'm sure it will work out because after all when you meet that special boy that you really like you are going to want that same understanding from him. I hope I helped.
Good luck,
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