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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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I'm not sure if I should ask my pastor about my concerns regarding inner healing in the church, or if it would hurt him. I feel that this type of pop psychology should be left out of the church. Should I go to him about it or leave it alone? (link)
Leave it alone. He will run sermons and the church his way and nothing else will change that. If his teachings differ widely from yours that's okay.

It just means you're in the wrong place and have to pursue what you feel is right with your beliefs in another setting.

Also you can't blindly agree with everything they say anyways so that's natural to have questions and concerns. He might not be receptive and could lead to uneccesary friction and animosity.


im 18/f hes 19/m

so me and my bestfriend kissed the other night, i have massive feelings for him, i dont know how he feels about me though...We've talked about wanting to kiss each other for a while, but he said he wants to take the risk but hes afraid...anywho, we were talking outside and just as i was about to leave he said "i owe you this" and kissed me so sweetly, i was shocked.

that was a week ago, i thought he atleast remembered kissing me until tonight he confessed he remembers seeing my face and the rest is blank. He also said his friends told him he kissed his friend. and he was going on worried that i saw it happen etc etc. i didnt see him kiss this other girl. Then he started to get worried about what i wouldnt tell him, so i flat out told him that he kissed me that night too. he texted back "-____-" and i knew then that he obviously regrets it.. i mean he regretted it with his other friend...anyways we were texting apologizing to each other about it. then he sends me this text

"totes facepalming. it wasnt suposed to happen yet >.< " then he told me to ignore that text, and then i get another text from him saying "ill tell you what i mean by it one day". now im extremely confused. thoughts?
(link)
Only he knows what is meant by that text and his bizarre statement about him one day explaining things to you. You should ask what he means and see what happens. You have a right to know.

Either way he's indecisive and doesn't know what he wants. He also seems to be kissing other people while you are together. That's not good.

I have a hunch that he may be gay having not liked kisses with you or other girls and not comfortable with intimacy or the relationship. That's one theory.

At any rate I would back away from this relationship because he has a lot to figure out and is being too weird and cryptic about things. You don't have time to be jerked around.


hi!am the one who took the 50piritons and today is the 3rd day and am stil ok,is there any problem or can i die? (link)
That's an allergy drug if I read the Google information correctly. Obviously taking 50 of them wasn't a good idea as it's over the amount subscribed or recommended.

While you won't die with it now being three days after having done so may or may not have adverse effecta on you physically that only a doctor could tell you for sure.

You need to see one and tell them what you did, why and that you need to know if you should visit an emergency room or have further treatment. I doubt you can die (would have done so already) but there still can be adverse reactions unless a doctor tells you otherwise.


I was raped/molested. What type of lawyer would I need to contact about that? (link)
Just see the police. They know exactly what steps to be taken and will if enough evidence to support arresting someone for it and charging them they will at that time. And yes the accused needs a criminal attorney likewise yourself.


Well.....i am a 15 year old girl...and recently I have masturbated.....but....everytime I do...I feel guitly and dirty...and I don't want to continue...I want to ask my sister, or brother, or even my parents..but I'm scared to...I keep thinking they will laugh or get mad at me....and say that I am disgusting...so I just wanna know...Is it bad or wrong? And why? (link)
It's pretty much a universal thing with your age group. Both males and females do it. Roughly 85% of males of all ages do it and 70% of females of all ages from toddlers on up.

It's normal and healthy so long as it doesn't occupy all your time. Your friends are doing it but not talking about it as girls are more discreet than boys.

Your parents pretty much suspect you and your siblings do it anyways as most young people do. As long as you find it pleasuarable and are private about it no harm can come from it as it's safe and natural.

Regardless of the situation if something concerns you or you need more info on it seek out an older person you trust about it. You shouldn't feel guilty, ashamed etc. about something the majority of socety does. You can bet your mother, siblings and other women you know and trust did this at your age too.



I have to say right now that I am deathly afraid of anything that has to do with needles or blood tests or needles going in my mouth...
Well, today at the dentist they found three cavities they need fill and one they're sealing. They said they can use a laser, instead of the drill and needle to numb to the tooth. If so, is it all right if I have braces and ask for the laser instead? Please say so because I freak out at the thought of them numbing my tooth and drilling into it! It's got me into freak out mode!
Also, please don't tell me to grow up, I know I need to and stuff. I can't help it. It just terrifies me and it doesn't help that I'm sensitive to pain. (link)
This is NOTHING to worry about. Depending on where and or how deep the cavity is you might not even need a needle. They can do some of them without it or even use s gel applied with a Q-tip to freeze the area. I don't know about a laser as that's something new.

Even if they used a needle it takes .10 seconds. turn your head away and all it will feel like is a small pinch and that's it. You'll hear the drill but won't feel it. If you do this without freezing you will feel a vibration.

Tell the dentist that you are terrified and they'll explain the tools they use and how it will feel. They want to be gentle and make you as comfortable as possible. You will be fine.


okay so i have 2 friends who really hate each other for no reason at all and one day i said one of their names to the other person and they blew up so i started yelling at her and she started calling my friend a bitch and a liar. i told her if she kept doing that i didnt want to talk to her and now we arent friends sort of. i am best friends with both of them and i dont care if they like each other i just dont want them to hate each other and blow up when i say there name. one of my friends doesnt care if i say the other ones name but the other is getting really annoying about her. i have no idea what i am asking for just help please!!!!! (link)
You need to act as mediator here. Send them an e-mail telling them you value their friendship but cannot stand the fighting even if one of their names comes up in the presence of another.

Ask them if they value your relationship to please sit down with you and another adult to work something out to at least be civil in your presence. Put it nicely or they both could bail on you or dump you.

The other approach is to cut hem both off if they won't stop and let them figure their own shit out as it's their issue and come back to you if they truly want your friendship. That's a last resort and often backfires. Try mediation and explain as gently as possible that it's ruining your friendships.

These two are immature and not acting very smart if someone's very name causes them to go off. Maybe if they see how dumb they are behaving and get embarrassed they'll start mending the fence. Btw, do you know what the real issue is between them? If so it gives you something to work with here.


Hi im the biggest JB fan and i want to meet him so bad how can I...cuz for some people he do supprises thx for your help xoxo (link)

It will cost you. Artists such as Bieber do meet and greet sessions at every venue they play before each show these days. When you buy your tickets off of Ticketmaster or the arena there should be information on how much a package that includes tickets and meetings cost.

It's pretty hefty usually and it lasts about a minute as they bring what seems endless streams of people in and often depending on the artist you just get a photo or a hand shake depending on how generous the artist is with their time or what your meet and greet package (they usually range) includes. Check out his site when he's playing near you as it's bound to have info.


can we give a story to disney so that if they like it they can make a movie
(link)
They will send it back unopened if you send it for risk of being sued for stealing ideas. That's how most film studios including their's work.

The correct process is to find an agent that represents screenwriters and get them to look at your script and evaluate it. They'll know if it's worthy of Disney or other studios. They'll do the rest if it is. This is the ONLY way and the professional way of standing a shot of them looking at it.


hi. so currently my English grade is a 64, which is failing. at my school a 69 and below is an F. our school handed out progress reports last week meaning the 3rd quarter is half way over. I got a 46 on an English test which brought my grade down from a 90 something to a 64. our grades in this class are weighted and tests, essays, and projects are 60% of my grade. this test is the only one I've had and I didn't have any essays or projects yet. the other 40% is quizzes and homework which is 20% each of my grade. I'm really stressed now and I'm wondering if I take another test or two and do well on them (85% or better) how much will that help my grade? will I be able to bring my average up to at least an 85 in I think 3 school weeks? (link)

If I read this correctly it's only one test that brought it down to a 64 from 90. Explain to your parents how grades work. Then study your ass off and make sure you score well on everything else.

Talk to the instructor and explain your concerns and what it is you didn't get and tell them what you are worried about overall with grades. Hire a good tutor.

You haven't done any essays or projects yet. That's where you can still no doubt shine and boost this higher at very least to passing as all you need is a 70. I would think you could do that. As far as an 85% goes settle for a pass in something you find difficult first and let 85 create itself if it can.


so I was hooking up with this guy and i gave him a bj and he said it was really good. we were just chilling and talking after that and he seems really nice and funny, he's a good guy. then i kinda hinted it was my turn and he said he would but he didn't have anything to clean his hands with (we were in my basement room withtout a sink or anything and he couldn't go upstairs), but that he felt really bad. but i told him it was fine he didn't have to. then he said "well at least it makes you come back for more" and i said jokingly of course "nahh not at all!" but he knew i was joking i thinkk. so do you think he wants to do it again? i cannot read guys at alll haha thanks! (link)
It would appear that nothing is wrong. He even phoned to make sure you we're okay. If he was unhappy about anything sexual or otherwise he wouldn't act this way.

The issue is your self-esteem and need for approval or validation. You're concerned he didn't want to satisfy you in return because he was annoyed at your performance and even deep down thought he may have a problem with you.

In fact, he probably was scared to even try due to no experience or next to none hence his excuse even with the damn sink. Talk to him about it and return to it when totally ready.

He may have preconceived ideas about smell etc. etc. and female bits and a hangup about this particular act to get over. It no way means he thinks your body is gross or that there is an issue. Talk to him about why things didn't go further that night so you can stop torturing yourself needlessly.

I'm not a mind reader either but if he didn't enjoy the experience you would know and he would have corrected what you were doing. Just relax.


okay so I have been dating this guy for the past three months and I recently found out he was cheating on me! He told the girl he made out with that he was single and that I was just his friend! I found this out cause i incidentally talked to the girl.I really got angry when I found out he had been lying to me all this while and I immediately broke up with him. when i confronted him about the whole thing he had to accept it but then for the first five hours after confrontation he was all like "i cant believe i could lie so well.." but after that he said sorry and kept on texting and calling me up! he wanted me back and told me he was very sorry and all and he actually spoke to some of his friends (who i know too) about the whole thing and how he really feels sorry about everything. he told some of our mutual friends to call me up too ..should i trust him again and go back to him or not???? (link)
Walk away with your head held high knowing that he's not remorseful, trustworthy or going to change. Nobody said doing so wouldn't hurt or be easy but you must. Also tell your friends to tell him where to go and stop manipulating them.


21/f - the past 2 months i have been talking to my ex from 4, almost 5 years ago. things have been pretty good between us, but we are just friends. although we act like more than just that. when we hang out we hold hands, and cuddle, and tell each other we love each other. i really do love him...i never stopped. thing is i want us to be more than just friends, so i guess my question would be is it ok for a girl to ask a guy out? and if so how should i go about it? (link)
Nothing that says you can't. If you want it go for it. However, if I were you I would protect yourself and tell him you are really confused as a lot of what's going on seems like a relationship that isn't official. Then again, it could just be friendly.

Tell him you are getting mixed signals and want to know where it all stands so nobody gets hurt. That's a reasonable request. From there it's pretty easy to turn things into something if desired.

You broke up with him a long time ago. Before getting re-involved make sure he's corrected the behavior that caused it or you'll see it happen again probably anyways unless things go peachy which they can.


last year i had to beg my parents to let me get rides with my friends, who were older than me and had their lisences for at least a year. finally my parents said yes, and things were great, until one of my friends was involved in a car accident 2 months ago, and i was in the passenger seat. no one was hurt, but ever since then my dad wont let me get rides with my friends.

my mom is okay with me getting rides, but says we have to respect my dads wishes, so she wont talk to him about it. he wont listen to me. i got into so many fights with my parents about this, and eventually i gave up. so now i just deal with it. but its embarassing to have to get rides from my parents, and its hard to hang out with my friends. i dont like lying to my parents either.

i dont let my lisence till october. i dont want to miss out on an entire summer of being with my friends.

please help. thank you. im a girl, and 15, if that helps. :) (link)
It wouldn't it kill you to get a bus pass good for each month to wherever you had to go. Do that or ask your parents to pay for a cab when needed from someone's house.

I would be grateful that they want to pick you up. Most teens don't get that everywhere or anywhere you want to go. Big deal if your friends mock you or you feel uncool. That's their problem not yours to worry about. It would mean they're immature which is really what this issue with your folks boils down to.

They can't trust your fiends due to either immaturity or little to no driving experience because they already got you into an accident and that's a very big deal hurt or not.

I would ask for a bus pass or cab if you feel embarrassed at least you will be 100% safe and that's what they want.

In Canada they have graduated licensing which requires 1 year worth of driving on a learner's permit in the province of Ontario with an adult in the car at all times, no highways and no driving at night.

Then the second level allows for highway driving, eventually no adult and introduction of night driving. Then after being road tested you get full license. Takes 2-3 years depending on aptitude.

If under 30-years-old and you have even 1 drink before driving you can go to jail if they stop you and you have any alcohol in system.

Waiting for your license in a few months is nothing compared to this. Suck it up get a cab or a bus pass and be fine or just ignore being mocked.

Dad's not going to change his mind and you know what your friends should respect why. If they ever asked tell them it's due to the accident that you cannot drive with anyone under 18 who doesn't have enough experience behind the wheel. If they don't get it--not your problem but it should give them something to think about.

It's best to look like an idiot for not taking a ride with someone you shouldn't drive with than to be an actual idiot for going with a friend who may or may not be over their head driving or irresponsible enough to get into another accident. Your dad's right on this.


my son is 15 years old and he behaves really bad.i know that he is using marijuana and he goes to party and come home really drunk if i start to argue with him he would screem at me and get really agresive with me .i had to call the police twice because he wold come home late every weekend.what can i do can. (link)
You must have a contact at the police department by now. If I were you I would explain your situation again and that you cannot control him.

Ask that person for a residential center they know of where you can place him for a period of time that deals with behavioral problems. If that doesn't scare him silly and to learn respect not much would. At the very minimum I would tell your husband to get a backbone (both of you) and kick him out of the house.

You need to get it through to him that you aren't putting up with this shit any longer and there's the door. Right now he thinks he's in charge and you are a wimp. Show otherwise. You be the parent. If I treated my parents like this forget rehab I would be dead. This is unacceptable and it's time to put him into a program or kick him out permanently.


16/f
ive been asked out alot by really cute guys that i like but i always end up saying no! i have this werid fear where no matter who it is i think their lying or just joking or its a dare by their friends and im the idiot falling for it. i dont want to be single forever but i cant seem to help it no matter how nice the guy is in my eyes i seem to only see liars! what should i do to get over this fear because its starting to creep up on how i view my friends too help! (link)
Unless someone gave you reason to suspect they were lying to you odds are they aren't. Don't judge all guys the same way based on a few negative experiences. Odds are they really like you.

If they ask you out tell them what other guys have done with lying and that you won't date anyone until they show you they are genuine. Then you let them prove they are trustworthy and right for you. But yes, let down your guard or you'll miss a great catch.


Ok you may say I'm crazy but I will just be standing in line and weird voices in my head and I think weird & odd thingswilllpop up in my head. I'm really tall I'm a girl and I always seem to take things hard on myself.I'm book smart and physicly smart (link)
Give us an example of what sort of weird things you hear and if any are scary, threatening or motivating you to do things you ought not. That's definitely a problem for a psychiatrist and affecting mental health.

However, if weird means goofy or that normal inner voice track we all hear in our head than odds are you're fine but if it's worse than that tell someone and have it checked out. Better safe than not.


Thinking about the answers people gave me on my previous question, I'm thinking about asking my therapist to send me to a mental hospital. Does anyone know anything about them? And do you think it would help me? (link)

You don't need a mental hospital. If you're thinking of something like a movie with all types of violent people or extremely psychotic -- it exists but is usually for criminally insane people or those with violent behavior that can't be helped conventionally.

That's not where you need to go. You need a mental health assessment and perhaps placement on a regular ward where they treat depression, bipolar, schizophrenia like any other illness. They get you well and send you home.

It's NOTHING at all like you may be thinking and they only put you on the ward if they feel it's harmful to you otherwise. They let you out. A

This is like a normal stay in any hospital on a ward with doctors who treat regular mental health issues and keep you there until well and then release. It's all treated like it's any other kind of illness.

As far as a therapist goes ditch them and their advice. The only person who can tell you if you are mentally ill or not and assess you and care for you is a shrink. The therapist can't put you anywhere much less here because they have no authority or medical background to do so.



Hi. I saw your response to someones question and I was wondering because of your response, have you ever been to a mental hospital? If so, do they actually help? I know killing myself is wrong, but I'm in so much emotional pain and I want to die. I've been cutting for a long time, and want to stop, but don't know how. I want to be truely happy! help please? :( (link)

Been on a ward. It's no different in how they treat people from any other illness. They provide the right treatment, get you well and on your way again. It takes time and hard work on both sides. They certainly do help and that's an understatement.

They know how to deal with people who want to kill themselves and can't function. Cutting isn't an issue as they can treat all of this. You should see a doctor and if you really feel you are going to harm yourself see an ER as that's signs of a crisis.


Sorry this is long, please take the time to read!!

f/22 I was diagnosed with severe depression 4 months ago. It started with insomnia, I had trouble concentrating at Uni, felt insecure about my future e.g. what profession to choose, and then I started having terrible anxiety attacks & was crying all the time. I had to move back to my parents because I couldn't take care of myself anymore, and at some point I was scared to leave the house. Now I take an antidepressant and something against anxiety, and I'm also seeing a therapist and I feel a lot better, but I still have those horrible anxiety attacks. I don't trust myself anymore, I fear that I might go crazy and start screaming in public if I have an anxiety attack, or that I might do something to myself once I'm alone. I would never willingly hurt myself, but I'm not myself anymore when I have an attack. The semester is about to start again and I really want to go back to Uni and continue my studies, even if it's only a couple of courses, but I'm literally scared out of my wits by these anxiety attacks. and what's worse I can't concentrate on studying, and I'm supposed to sit exams. I don't want to tell my friends from university, because I know they can't keep a secret and I don't want to be tagged as 'the weird one'. I know I shouldn't give a fuck, but its hard enough without people giving you weird glances.

has anyone gone through something like this? how did you deal with anxiety attacks? please help me!!! (link)
Get rid of your therapist and family doctor who aren't qualified to handle this. You need to proceed to an emergency room and ask to be assessed by the on-call psychiatrist.

If you feel you might harm yourself or feel like you're headed to being out of control or can't function it's an emergency and has to be seen to at an emergency room.

Tell them in absolute detail exactly what you wrote us here, fears, anxiety attacks and whether medication in your mind is working and that you were told you had severe depression but are confident something else is going on that isn't being treated properly.

Don't worry as they can fix your problem. However, they may want you to stay there with them until they can figure out what your illness really is, how it's working against you and the proper path to take.

If they believe you might be a harm to yourself or others to you or in a situation that could harm you they ask you to stay. Doesn't mean you're crazy, just that you need help and rest.

If I were you and I've been there with bipolar disorder and anxiety attacks a plenty I would go to the hospital after reading this and get it seen to. Everything else in life needs to drop as the type of symptoms and things going on suggests a crisis that you need to avert pronto. Be well.




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