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CanadaOccupation:
Family, Youth and Mental Health CounsellorAge:
31Member Since:
July 13, 2006Answers:
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October 16, 2007Visitors:
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about
Hello All, I am counsellor with over 12 years experience specializing in parenting, families, youth and mental health. I answer questions in a blunt and straightforward way so if you are looking for coddling or really touchy feely type advice thats not me I provide real solutions for your problems and concrete suggestions in other words I tell you the plain truth I don't sugarcoat.
I am really worried these days with the easy access to the internet and all the false information that is out there and the fact that people believe it!! So please ask first. I don't claim to have all the answers but I can claim that NOTHING will shock me you can try though :)
I look forward to hearing you thoughts and questions.
advice
Does anyone know whether, in U.S. law defamation of character (ie. libel or slander) has to be relayed to a third party to become actionable, or is it actionable when between just two people.
Eg. I think my ex-boyfriend is a pedophile, but am unsure and have no evidence, and I email him accusing him of pedophilia, is that libel? Or is it only libel if I email the townspeople, or post a public flyer?
You are not libel if you are only telling him. That is at worst insulting him. Libel is basically when you make an inflammatory statement in a publication. Defamation or slander is when you put something out there for public "consumption" i.e. a song, something said on tv or radio.
So if he is threatening you with libel then he is full of crap and talking out of his ass. Also good for you that you are having the courage to name and shame him and not hiding your head in the sand as many women are apt to do.
Hope this clears that up for you.
I have a phobia of food poisoning and throwing up. I've already decided that the next time I throw up or ever get food poisoning, I will kill myself, and if that doesn't work out, I'll be anorexic to prevent food poisoning.
I already have a therapist, but she doesn't help with my phobia's. I've asked my mom to get me one that specializes in phobia's, but she chose this one to helpme with my depression (which I am over) and she won't get me a new one.
It's either give me a way to never throw up or get food poisoning, or I'll end up in a bad situation.
Ok First all what about vomiting/food poisoning frightens you so much? What is your therapist say when you bring this up? Does she just dismiss your fears, if so then you need to tell your therapist that she is less then useless and for her to tell your mom that she is not the therapist for you. If she refuses, telling your mom that you refuse to see her anymore due to her being not right for you.
There is no way to ensure that you never throw up or get food poisoning, but in 31 years I have never got food poisoning and can count on one hand the number of times I have thrown up. You need to deal with the phobia and not focus on the possibility so much.
If you want to discuss your phobia feel free to drop me a line and I will do my best to help give you suggestions to deal with your fear.
I know FOR SURE that I have OCD, but my phsyciatric doctor only diagnosed me with anxiety. I take two medicines for it, but they don't help. I need OCD medication, but he hasn't diagnosed me with OCD. How can I prove to him that I really do have it? I was thinking that I could keep an OCD journal, and write down all the rituals and OCD things I do each day and show him, but I need other ideas.
Why do you think you have OCD? What medications are you currently on and how long have you been taking them? I know I am answering with questions but your question lacks details to answer properly from a stand point of someone who has worked with clients with OCD for numerous years mis-diagnosis is very possible. If you would like more info and tips let me know some more details.
Sara
Ima christian & at church with youth group we sometimes do this. The youth leaders will put questions on a piece of paper & you answer them.
First: she said answer these questions as if god was not standing right next too you.
and i did.
Second: she said now answer the questions as if god was not standing right next to you.
I know that god is with you all the time.
But this one question had me stumped.
--If a relative was in the hospital & could die any minute would you stay in the room with them?--
I said no to this because i couldnt bring myself to let someone die right next too me.
Would you guys of said the same thing or would you be able to stay in the room? Why?
Thank you:)
I think that you may have looked at the question differently then I would; it wouldn't be "letting" someone die it would be, for me, providing comfort to a loved one in their greatest time of need. The choice of when they pass on is one that God makes, and being there could be his will to make you a stronger person. God never promised that life would be easy he only promised to carry us through the hard times.
This is just my opinion. Hope it helps.
im 20 ilbs over weight. whats the best diet for me to eat everday. like the fastest way to loose this weight? i meen i have school soo i was thinking
breakfast- rice crispys with skim milk.
lunch-ramen noodles & a banana. [i have school]
dinner-baked fish. [not fattning]
run for 10 mins everyday?
200 crunches?
for 2 snacks during the day.. maybe gronoliaa bars?THANKS
OK this is sooo not a good plan! The best way to lose weight quickly and in a healthy way and KEEP IT OFF is the GI diet. Basically its all about eating the way we are supposed to, the way a body is built to eat.
First of all make sure at breakfast that you eat a protein and that you "eat like a king" in other words this should be your biggest meal of the day because it gives you the most time to burn the meal off.
Eat a mid morning snack of fruit or granola.
For lunch "eat like a queen" try and eat very low carb which would mean cut out all noodles, breads ect. Also low sugars.
Eat a healthy snack mid afternoon of veggies or yogurt or granola or fruit.
For dinner "eat like a pauper" the smallest meal of the day. Again low carb/fat.
Also try to not eat after 5:30 or so and only drink water.
Doing 200 crunches is a wee bit excessive! Try and build up to 100-150 but start slower or you won't be able to move after doing all that exercise. 30 minutes of cardio 5 times a week is the recommended exercise.
Hope this helps.
im thinking about getting my tounge pierced but not letting my mom find out. how bad does it hurt & how long is it sore. & like do you talk weird with it in at first. haha any info would be great. -- i would get it professionally done by my friends sister by the way. no need to worry about that.
Ok There is no way you can hide this from your mom. Your tongue will be swollen for at least 4-6 days, and you do talk differently for a while until you get completely used to it which can take up to 3-4 months. Also it hurts like HELL at least it did for me.
I highly suggest that if you live with your mom or are under 18 you talk with her before hand, otherwise you will have wasted your time and gone through alot of pain for nothing when she makes you take it out, it takes less then an hour for the hole to close.
Good luck
i want to get a nose piercing, but im 14, and most states have laws about that. i wanted to know if you know which states on the east coast,(or wherever) allow people under 18 to get their nose pierced. my parents are willing to come with me so if parent permission is needed, im fine.
Most states if they have any law in regards to piercing only state that your parents must either give written consent or be present. Below is a website with all the laws in each state in regards to body piercing and tattoos.
http://www.ncsl.org/programs/health/bodyart-1.htm
Hope this answers your question.
To start off, I apologize for my question being long, but I think it's necessary for you to know the history of this question so that you can fully try to help me. Thanks :)
The other day I had a tear-jerking conversation with my friend. I noticed scars and scabs on her wrists from cutting herself. I confronted her, and she broke down and confessed everything. Around springtime last year, she was sickeningly skinny. She honestly looked like a skeleton, or a concentration camp survivor. Then all of a sudden this year she gained a ton of weight, and now she looks healthy. She had reasons for being so skinny, (she's a vegan) but I always worried about her, but never confronted her until just now. She admitted to having been anorexic and only eating 500 calories a day. She's 5'6 and weighed 76 pounds. Now she says she doesn't weigh herself in pounds, only in kilos. She weighs 56. She says that the whole anorexic thing was never about being skinny (she naturally is thin) it was about being able to control her life, because her home life is very screwy. Her mom is a nutcase who is addicted to the internet and has a seperate family online. She says her mom hits her, not in a life threateningly way, but hard enough to leave bruises. Her dad recently lost his job, and her mom is waiting for him to get a new one so she can divorce him then make him pay. According to her, her parents never knew about her anorexia or depression. She told me she desperately wants help, but because of her family's financial situation, she's not sure if she can afford it. And on top of that,she tried commiting suicide once by taking a bunch of pills. Thankfully her plan failed, and she is still here. She says she's no longer suicidal or anorexic, but not yet healed. Cutting herself is a sure sign of that. I feel like a horrible friend because i wasn't there for her during this hard time. I've been sworn to secrecy, but for the safety of my friend I can't keep quiet. What should I do?
Worried in San Francisco
Hi worried, Well what I see is that your friend has substituted the controlling addictive behaviors that she had with anorexia to now cutting. As her friend I would suggest that you talk to your mom or another adult that you trust, they will know what to do. If this is not possible then below I have found the FREE clinic in Haight Ashbury that may be able to help her.
If you have any other questions please feel free.
http://www.hafci.org/
my mom married my stepdaddy a couple of months of go and i told my friends about it at school and now everybody at school is making fun of me becouse my mom married a black guy iam not racist and i don't see what's wrong with a white person marrying a black guys it's just the color of your skin and we can't help it god made us that way,but how can I make my friends see it that way?
These people are not your friends if this is what they are saying. In order for them to feel more secure about themselves, their lives and their families they tear down yours tell them very clearly that if that is their belief then you really don't want to be friends with a bunch of ignorant people who are racists.
Hope this helps
My hands keep having this "tingling" sensation several times a day. My dad said it could possibly be from high cholesterol, and/or lack of exercise. Although I exercise often. It may be diet but I am not exactly sure. It even randomly comes up in my hands. It's also pretty annoying. I can run around and it'll act up again. What could be some possible explanations for this? And what could I do to treat it or prevent it?
Sounds like one of two things. Either you have a pinched nerve or your circulation is bad and your hands are not getting enough blood. These two things are both easy enough to fix just visit your dr. or if you are into holistic health a massage therapist or a chiropractor.
Hope this helps.
will there be instances in which Crest Whitestrips don't work? i need all the help i can get. i am asking again because my teeth are really bothering me.
My teeth are yellow. i dont drink tea or soda. i used to not brush for quite a long time. i have been brushing regularly for half an year. what can i do to get whiter teeth asap? i will continue with the brushing routine but my teeth are so ugly i cant smile and people think im weird!!!
The best thing you can do to whiten your teeth is go to the dentist, they have awesome products that you can buy and they have a uv light that they use to whiten. Keep in mind when you whiten that you also weaken your teeth considerably especially if you use it often over time. IF you want something just from the drugstore the products that come with a mouthguard that you wear overnight tend to work best.
Hope this helps.
I want to get started in animal activism and PETA isn't the right way to start, correct? Can someone point me in the right direction?
If someone would give me names of books for other activism things that would be cool as well.
If you want to start and are a teenager there is also an organiztion called T.A.R.A. it stands for teen animal rights activism, also there is website which will give you a list of all the associations/organizations that are out there not only animal rights but pretty much every other cause you could think of its called riseup.
Hope this helps.
http://lists.riseup.net/www
why do people like hemp things?
Many people like hemp because it is an all natural fabric that is biodegradable and does not harm the environment in anyway. Also due to the fact that it's a legal way to buy and use marijuana. It actually has tons of awesome uses, as many of the other answers say.
Hope this answers your question
so if people agree and think that smoking is bad and alcoholism is bad why do people think that suicidal-minded rock bands and stuff like that push the limiting line of "individualism" is not bad and is just being individually unique? surely you cant say that child pornography is just uniqueness that someone has that you shouldn't try to take away someone from doing because you dont wanna interfere with their individualism? or alcohol addictions or smoking? so what makes the difference?
i just dont understand beccause ive had a number of friends whos fallen into the wrong paths (serious depression cutting themselves and suicidal attempts and one actually killed herself :() after being "emo" and the "misunderstood kid" who's always considered herself depressed. i dont mean to label but a general trend was they listened to songs about deaths 24/7 and stuff. theres no hard proof that emo bands and their intense promoting of "individualism" and "being yourself" beyond the line cause these things but then again, there's no scientific proof that child porn is bad, it just is... so why wouldnt anyone agree with me?
First of all there is scientific proof that child porn is bad, as a mental health professional I can give you numerous articles and studies that prove this. As for your question music does not make people do anything promoting individualism is actually a positive thing, it helps self esteem what the problem may be is that listening to songs about death and then hanging out with people who are also depressed creates a cycle of depression which makes a person feel worse and worse until there is no "light" at the end of the tunnel and they see no alternative but suicide or self-harm.
You can't group all emo music as bad, just like you can't judge all rap music gangsta, at the end of the day music and musicians can't make you do anything its a choice being an individual is a good thing, but how individual are you if you are following what a band or group of people tell you?
There is a different between stoping someone from harming themselves or others and between being an individual, a good example would be Hitler, he was trying to be an individual and extinguish all Jewish people but his individuality should not supercede that of others.
Hope this helps, if you have any questions feel free to ask.
i recently got a pregnancy test after beng 4 days late for my period and it came out negative its now gone another 6 days and that means im 10days late on my period could i be pregnant and are the tests ever wrong???please write bak and answer my questions luv me xxxxxxxxxx
Home pregnancy tests are often unreliable. The only test that is never wrong is the blood test you get at a doctors office. There are many other reasons not to get your period, but I would def. advice you to visit a clinic soon and find out for sure so that you have as many options as possible.
Good luck. Hope this helps
Once you have an abortion is it not possible to have a baby again?
As long as you have an abortion before the 3 month deadline and have it done by a reputable doctor who knows what they are doing, it should not affect your ability to concieve. There are also different types of abortion so talk it over with your doctor to decide which is best for you.
If you have any other questions feel free to ask.
what is a great smoothie recipe? i want a healthy lean slenderizing smoothie. if you have any great recipes, do tell. thanks
A lot of the recipes already listed are great. But if you are like me and like thick smoothie here is a recipe for a AWESOME one:
3/4 cup frozen berries (the mixed field berries are good)
2 scoops low fat FROZEN yogurt (vanilla is best)
1/2 cup apple or peach juice (I buy the low sugar one)
Throw it all in the blender and whip/frappe it for a while. Its awesome!
Enjoy
I recently asked a question and what type of pregnancy test to get since my period is late. I'm not even worried about my late period anymore, i'm just completely scared. My boyfriend and I have been talking about this and he feels that abortion is our best option since im only 16 and hes 18. I don't believe in abortion unless under very specific circumstances.
My parents don't even know i'm sexually active, and i was wondering, if this I actually am pregnant, how the hell do I tell them. He hasn't even met them yet, and I dont think my parents are going to want to here, mom dad this is ***************, oh and by the way, i'm so many months pregnant. Not exactly the best introduction.
What I'm asking is.. how will I tell my parents that i'm pregnant by a guy they just go to meet. I've known him for a long time and hes my best friend, but theyre still going to freak. Someone please help
Ok first of all don't allow your boyfriend to pressure you into a decsion. Also don't introduce him to your parents and then say by the way he also helped me to make a baby, allow the first dinner to be untainted at least in their minds. Yes it will be stressful but alot easier in the longrun.
When you tell your parents be prepared for the firestorm. If you feel you have a much better relationship with your mother talk to her first so she can help calm your dad down. There is no easy way to do this, but it will be a little easier if you make your mind up prior to talking to them about what you want to do.
Hope this helps.
that was a really rude thing of you to do. ugh.
What was rude of me?? I am a little confused?
I've seen people's computer and they have their toolbar thing at the top or on the side, how do I do that?
To move the toolbar right click on it first and make sure that the 'lock the task bar' is not checked off, if it is on click on it and it will be unlocked, then simply left click on the toolbar and drag it to the top, right, left, ect. where ever you want it.