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Attempted suicide, depression, and anorexia


Question Posted Friday August 11 2006, 2:17 am

To start off, I apologize for my question being long, but I think it's necessary for you to know the history of this question so that you can fully try to help me. Thanks :)

The other day I had a tear-jerking conversation with my friend. I noticed scars and scabs on her wrists from cutting herself. I confronted her, and she broke down and confessed everything. Around springtime last year, she was sickeningly skinny. She honestly looked like a skeleton, or a concentration camp survivor. Then all of a sudden this year she gained a ton of weight, and now she looks healthy. She had reasons for being so skinny, (she's a vegan) but I always worried about her, but never confronted her until just now. She admitted to having been anorexic and only eating 500 calories a day. She's 5'6 and weighed 76 pounds. Now she says she doesn't weigh herself in pounds, only in kilos. She weighs 56. She says that the whole anorexic thing was never about being skinny (she naturally is thin) it was about being able to control her life, because her home life is very screwy. Her mom is a nutcase who is addicted to the internet and has a seperate family online. She says her mom hits her, not in a life threateningly way, but hard enough to leave bruises. Her dad recently lost his job, and her mom is waiting for him to get a new one so she can divorce him then make him pay. According to her, her parents never knew about her anorexia or depression. She told me she desperately wants help, but because of her family's financial situation, she's not sure if she can afford it. And on top of that,she tried commiting suicide once by taking a bunch of pills. Thankfully her plan failed, and she is still here. She says she's no longer suicidal or anorexic, but not yet healed. Cutting herself is a sure sign of that. I feel like a horrible friend because i wasn't there for her during this hard time. I've been sworn to secrecy, but for the safety of my friend I can't keep quiet. What should I do?

Worried in San Francisco

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SpreadLove answered Sunday August 13 2006, 10:41 pm:
OK well i guess i can kinda relate. I admit that i used to cut myself. You friend is going through a really hard time, and she just probably wants to get away from it all... and she thinks that by cutting that its helping but its really making it worse! there are alot of help hotlines, that help teens, and they are free! maybe you could suggest to her to call one... i think that some may be in the phone book... one i know off my head is 177-HELP, but it may not work depending on where you live. let me know how things go!

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holahayley56 answered Friday August 11 2006, 11:25 am:
Shes needs help, badly. All that stuff, could start all over again. The finacienal situation, is they have something, where you don't have to pay or its very very cheap. I just throughout the book. [I took a class on this stuff] Its a good thing, shes getting better. But, if shes still cutting herself.. if this has been going on, for awhile, like for more then 2 weeks [which I believe you did say.. it went to like last spring err whatever?] But, anyways.. she should have gotten help alonggg time ago. & then she probaly wouldn't have gone through, all that other stuff. If you don't get her help, its either going to get all better, or its going to get a tonn worse. Personally, if that was my friend.. I wouldn't beable to take a risk like that.

What would you rather lose a friend or a life?
That decsion is really up to you. I hope you take my advice, & help your friend.

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sassysara answered Friday August 11 2006, 9:34 am:
Hi worried, Well what I see is that your friend has substituted the controlling addictive behaviors that she had with anorexia to now cutting. As her friend I would suggest that you talk to your mom or another adult that you trust, they will know what to do. If this is not possible then below I have found the FREE clinic in Haight Ashbury that may be able to help her.

If you have any other questions please feel free.

[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)

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caramella answered Friday August 11 2006, 8:18 am:
I think you should ask your freind to come sleepover at your house for a couple of days to get a break from her home life.Tell her that god created her for a reason and the reason is NOT so she can cut herself.Its not going to solve her problems,its going to make them WORSE cuz it can get her skin disease.Why dont you let YOUR mom talk to her mom about this?Im sure your mom would know what to say and convince her mom to stop,or if that doesnt work then,tell your freind to open up to her dad about this and about what her mom does.Since you didnt mention her dad being mean to her mabey HE can help.I think your freind can also go complain about this to a teenage hotline,cuz NOONE deserves to be treated like this.Did your freind try telling her mom how she feels?Hope your freind gets better.

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