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my family... sometimes treats me as if i dont do anything for them and rite now my grandmother is in the hospital i found out 3 weeks after she was there im always the last to find out especially when its important and i hate it... i dont live with them i havent lived at home for a good 2 years already... and im tired of getting treated like i dont do anything and my family always tells me im a part of the family and what effects me will effect them but i dont know... am i wrong?? everyone treats me like garbage and i feel its not fair... i know im supposed to be giving becuz of the time of year.. what should i do?? how can i come off nice about the way i feel without it hurting all my loved ones??? (link)
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Have you tried looking at your family and saying "why am I always the last to know?" Sometimes they don't know they're leaving you out, or think that they might be burdening you with things.
You have to tell them that you don't like how you're being treated or it'll never change. The nice way to do it is just ask why you're the last to know and emphasize that you have a real interest in your family and what's going on with them.
Hope that helped. I know it's a little vague but the best way to approach families varies from family to family.
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17/m
Ok, so I really like this girl, and I want to tell her how I feel. I feel that she needs to know this. I want to know a good way to tell her this. If she doesn't feel the same way, that's fine, I just want to tell her, but I don't want to ruin our friendship, because we're really good friends. So, what's something I can say so she can know how I feel, but not ruin our friendship if she doesn't like me too? (link)
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To paraphrase about what you just said....
"[insert her name here], I don't want to ruin our friendship, at all, but I think you should know that I really like you. It's okay if you don't like me back, but I wanted you to know."
Then you smile, listen to what she says, and so long as you're passive about it, and that is key here... don't be in her face about it, you should be good. Most girls are flattered, not offended or even weirded out.
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how do i use this type of bobby pin?
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=acc%5Fhat%5Fhairgoods&product%5Fid=1070536049&Page=all (link)
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Like a regular bobby pin, but you're going to want a thicker amount of hair to stick it into, because of how it's designed. Helps the pin stay in place. ^_^
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I had protected sex with my boyfriend three days after the end of my period. I am not taking birth control. It's been over a week and a half and for the past couple days I have been experiencing side cramps, bloating, and back aches. I am terrified that I could be pregnant. People I am talking to say that I am not pregnant and that I am convincing my mind to believe I am and anxiety is what is causing these pains. I might have swollen breasts but I can't tell. I have decided to not have sex anymore because it is not worth the agony. I don't want to be told to see a doctor. I'm looking for personal opinions that might be able to put me at ease. Please help. I'm so scared. (link)
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You're not preggers. I can guarantee it about 99.999%... same as the condom. If it didn't break or slip off, you're not pregnant.
If anything it sounds like you have PMS. If you've never had bad PMS before, let me describe it to you. You get cramps, bloathing, back aches, body aches, nausea, uncontrolable hunger and generally paranoid and irritable.
You're not pregnant honey.
If you like sex, and want to continue... just use condoms. They work, seriously. If you're using a condom you have a .01% chance of getting pregnant. That's the same risk I run on the pill or Nuvaring and most IUDs. It's a chance in hell. No worries.
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I was with my boyfriend for 8 months almost to the day when I broke up with him. My first few months of college had really stressed me out and the little things started to get to me and I pushed myself away from him and we ended up getting in a huge fight and I told him I didn't love him as much as I used to which wasn't true at all it was just something I said in the heat of the moment. We broke up and it destroyed him. I regretted it as soon as it happened but he was too angry to talk to me. He got a new girlfriend after a week but it was just for the physical benefits. We broke up in early October and started texting again around the middle of November and I told him I wanted to get back together but he'd tell me that I broke his heart and he doesn't give second chances. I didn't bring up the topic again until he texted me one day a couple weeks ago telling me that he wrote a song about me and he wanted me to hear it when I came home for Christmas, I brought up getting back together and he said we'd talk about it when I got home. I fought for us more than I've fought for anything in my life.
We've been together for about a week now. The first few days were a little rocky. He was still sorta depressed about the break up and he was worried about getting hurt again and the fact that he was worried about our relationship made me worried but we're past that now for the most part. We both agreed that we should do something together to bring back good memories but most of our relationship was over the summer and now that there's snow on the ground its kind of hard to do the same things.
So I guess I need date ideas, or just things to do. We don't have many places to go where we live.
Next I want to do something that really shows how much I love him. I feel like after the break up he doesn't feel like I love him as much but I really do so I want to do something for him.
I need ideas! I've never gotten back with an ex before. (link)
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OMG! I love date ideas! And I'm a hopeless romantic so I have tons of them.
So, you're wanting to prove your love to him and show him you were an ass and made a mistake. Happens. I've done it.
Think of somewhere you two had a special moment. A kiss in a garage, etc. Little moments are the best. Then grab some candles, music, a simple yet delicious dinner (go for his favorite) and set it up wherever you can think of that's adorable... a bedroom is always fun too, with all the lights out.
Other ideas, recreate the moments you had outside inside... This sounds lame but it's totally cute and he'll think you're adorable. So if you two had like a date of playing football or something in a field, grab a lot of green paper, make some quick fake grass on your dining table and challenge him to paper football. Or... ya know. Go with it and make it a project. It's a lot of fun.
The important thing isn't how epic the date is, but what it reminds him of. Like if it were me and my current guy, I'd have to find a way to recreate walking around an outdoor mall in the rain, so I'd incorporate the shower and probably some finger paints to make store fronts on the wall. It would be cute and you know it.
Gotta think outside the box... or think like a puzzle box... that works too.
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So Ive come to realize I'm in a nigtmare of a situation with a guy. For the last 3-4 years ive liked the same guy on and off,but mostly on. He liked me on and off as well but i liked him more than he liked me. We were young...about 14 and we had sex. I thought that meant he liked me(my ignorance) yet I didn't realize that he was just trying to get some action. He had many girlfriends and it hurt me to see him with them,but he would cheat on them with me so it made me think he liked me (again my ignorance). Then at a time when he didnt have a girlfriend he told me "im his girl and one day we will eventually go out" and then i hooked up with someone else and he got mad and got in a actual fist fight with the kid i hooked up with,so i figured he cared. During all this time,we never went out but we hooked up ALLL the time. (which was stupid of me :/ ) but then he just recently had a gf for 6 months and didn't speak a word to me then they brokeup and a week after they broke up,he started talking to me. And he's been trying to hookup with me and i gave in and hooked up with him because i missed him and i'm so mad that i did that.everytime we hangout i tell myself not to hookup with him and he ends up talking me into it. I just want him to gain respect for me and like me again .It's just so hard for me to blow him off and not hangout when he asks me to.but i'm determined to try ! what should i do? I just want him to know that i'm being serious and i dont want my feelings getting hurt by him anymore or i dont wanna talk to him at all,it's just so hard! (link)
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He's a player, baby girl. That's all he is. I should know, I'm one too, and so is my boyfriend. Players don't respect the people they play, and there's nothing that will make them start.
The only reason my bf and I can date is because we both know the game and keep tabs on each otehr... and we fell in love. Love is weird like that...
Anyway... stop talking to him. I know it hurts and it sucks and he's a real jerk for being the way he is, but he's not going to respect you, and he's not going to love you, and he will keep hurting you.
Get out while you can or he'll break you. I guarantee it.
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I don't like sex at ALL and I feel that my girlfriend is really pressuring me into it. I told her my past experiences led me to be this way (among other things) and I don't want to hurt her feelings. How can I tell her to just back off? (link)
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My boyfriend's not really a fan of sex either... I mean he likes it sometimes, but he has a super low sex drive. I like sex sometimes, but I have a lot of sexual abuse things to contend with and in general it's nice to not have someone there pressuring me...
It wasn't always this way, though. I've had lots of nympho boyfriends... and girlfriends... If your girl isn't responding to "hey, this happened and I'm just not into sex, sorry, back off" then you need to be more of a "I don't like sex, if you want it so bad go find someone who does" kind of person. I know that sucks, but if she's not respecting your personal limits, you need someone who will.
Some people just can't take a hint.
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Why does our body chemistry change every 7 years?? (link)
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While I'm sure there is a logical, biology based answer to this question, I'd like you to consider this....
If our body chemistry didn't change every 7 years, what would God laugh at? Puberty and aging is all he really has for entertainment. Seriously.
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I've had an eating disorder for two years. everyone tells me I need to get help but I really don't want to. Please don't tell me I need to eat or I need to stop throwing up because I get that all the time. Is there any way I can get help for this WITHOUT going into a treatment center? I already have a therapist, but I don't think she takes me very seriously. I don't think she understands eating disorders at all. What should I do? (link)
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If you don't want to get help, then don't. In the end, it's your body and you can destroy it in whatever manner you seen best fit.
Basically, in my experience with people who need help, myself included, no one can help you till you want help. If you don't want help, then no treatment center in the counry can help you. They'd just ask you to leave.
So, yeah. If you don't want help don't get it. Simple as that.
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I've been invictemed to a harsh and suprising dance and ditch. That's all I have to say to describe that. I was wondering if anyone had some tips on overcoming this. Thanks a bunch! (link)
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Dance and ditch... like at a prom or a club or soemthing?
I'm assuming you're meaning that someone danced with you, giving youthe impression they wanted/liked you and then just took off (with or without someone else).
The best way to get over it, in my book, is to go find someone else you like. There's an overpopulation problem here on earth, and you should take advantage of this and make a point to meet everyone you can... because there is always someone better if that one fails you.
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It's so embarassing. My mom's old, 63 with grey hair. And I am 13 years old. I have a brother whose 27 years old. My frends keep asking me "Oh, thats a really big gap between you and you brother. Why is that?" Its so embarassing. I feel bad. (link)
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Well... options.
A, stop telling people about you brother. Mean, but effective.
B, joke about it and make your brother a mistake. Always kind of fun and really diverts questions.
C, Why not? It works, seriously. They get confused and shut up. I've seen it.
D, stop worrying about it. I mean, what does it matter?
I'd go with D. Personally.
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But my dad doesn't take me seriously at all. He wants me to go to community college and get a business associates degree so I can take over his business. I don't think he understands at all that cooking makes me so happy and it's all I would ever want to do. How can I get him to take me more seriously? How can I make him see this is something I'm willing to be serious about? (link)
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This isn't really about you, ya know. Your dad wants you to follow in his footsteps, be a prodigy and whatnot. He wants you to be like him. It's not a bad dream for your children when you think you've done well in life.
You need to sit him down and tell him that this is something you love, and that all you're asking to do is follow your dream. If he got his business by following his own dream, bring that up. You have to make him realize that all you're doing is something that you love.
If that fails... well... pay your own way through college. Student loans are the best. ^_^
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I am 15/f and i hate my family. This isn't a "teen rebellion" thing, i cant stand it here. My only sibling is in college, and when hes gone, its better but still bad. When hes home, my life is hell. Im sensitive and he makes fun of me and my insecurities, he embarasses me in front of my friends, he drinks and yells at me, and i hate it. My parents are always fighting because my mom tries so hard and it stresses her so she takes it out on me by yelling at me and teling me in worthless and she doesnt want me here. My dads an alcoholic and drives when drunk and he totals his car a lot and we have money problems. Every night i cry myself to sleep and i want to get away from here. I cant live here, its killing me. Ive wanted to commit suicide for years now, but i havent because i dont want to hurt my boyfriend and my best friends. I dont know what else to do, ive tried talking to my brother but he just pushes me out of the way and leaves. My dad just starts drinking and he drives away, and my mom just yells. I wanted to go to therapy but my parents wont let me because they dont want me telling other people my problems, they told me i have to handle it myself. i need help, please. what can i do to get away from my family? (link)
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Get emmancipated. It requires you get a job, but it allows you to move out and get away. You basically divorce your parents and become a legal adult (but you still can't drink). I had a boyfriend that did just that. He moved in with an older friend and finished high school. He's doing pretty well now.
There is, of course, an option B. That would be to call social services with a legitimate case, and in your case it's mental abuse. You also want to cite your dad's drinking problem and general neglect aside from verbal abuse. The state should then take you away and probably throw you in foster care. That would mean you don't need a means to support yourself, and foster parents come in 2 flavors... awesome and craptastic. If you get craptastic you call your worker and they'll move you... there is the possibility that you'll end up in a group home... which is like a dorm, really, lots of beds and kids...
Point is, that's the easiest and fastest way out of your house. Just don't expect your family to be happy with you. Like at all.
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ok so im 16 and i dated wen i was 15 but couldnt "have a boyfriend" so my parents say....now they dnt trust me at all and ive been trying so hard to get it back and ive been on my best behavior....wat should i do so they can c im responsible? (link)
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You're 16. You're not responsible.
I'm 21. I'm not really responsible either.
To parents, you'll never be responsible.
That's life.
However... you can totally fake it, and get them to believe it. It takes a lot of acting like an adult... so that means doing chores without being told, let them see you doing homework and other studious things (read sometime if you don't right now, like for fun, not for school), if they let you out at night, come home early once in a while instead of pushing curfew, etc. Act like a mormon, basically. Then ask them to go out with the guy. Wait a little while and ask again... This is an extremely long process of faking responsibility and respect.
In reality, you're 16 years old... don't ask permission, get a boyfriend and just don't tell your parents. Lie your butt off and don't let them know. If you're careful, this will work. If you're not careful, this could get you in a lot of trouble. So weigh your options, but seriously... lying is easier, faster and just means you have to be smarter than your parentals.
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I am so disappointed with the way my life is turning out. I'm on lots of medications and am in therapy, but at this point I'm pretty sure it's all stopped working. I'm not connected at all to my family. Nobody would miss me if I was gone. Please don't try to tell me my life has meaning because literally EVERYTHING I do goes wrong. Should I travel? Should I get away from my life just for right now and come back to face it with a level head? Because it seems harder and harder to stop myself from swallowing all my pills at once and never waking up. It's starting to be too much to handle and I hate being in this much pain...about myself. (link)
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I'm bipolar. I've attempted suicide 3 times in 21 years of life, along with 4 overdoses (on various drugs) and in general I've been waging war on myself because I felt completely crazy since about 9th grade (age 14, if you're counting). I've been on different meds for it... recently took myself off my meds, claiming that it was giving me tremors that it wasn't really. I just don't like taking the damn pills. I have 2 shrinks, both of which say that one of my moods could potentially get me killed. Depression holds suicide and mania holds every other possibility from being murdered to thinking I can fly and jumping off a building or something.
The point is, I get what you're feeling. I feel it a lot. I have lots of ways I cope with it... most pretty unhealthy, but I won't recommend those. I don't know how old you are... but I do know that running away, this travelling concept, isn't the bad idea someone else would have you think it is. I ran off to Spain once, Costa Rica another time, simply because I wanted to be someone else for a while. So long as you have your head while travelling... well it can be the best thing for a "reset" to what ails you.
I haven't found much meaning in life, except every now and then I ind some glimmer of something awesome to focus on. Life is dirty and disorganized, but if you can focus on the bright spots, it helps...
If you want to travel, do. If you want to off yourself... well it's not the best idea and causes more people than you think pain. You never know how much you mean to people until they think you're leaving... I've done this 3 times, I know. If you're really so hopeless that you can't find one little, insignificant reason to stick around and take up space... well... I have no comment and wash my hands of it (Pontious Pilot, how you've given us a way to say we can't stop you but disapporve)...
Anyway... Yes.
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i havent got my period yet, so how do i know when im going to hav it (link)
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That varies from person to person...
For me, my first period came after a week of cramps and serious headaches.
My friend got hers out of the blue.
There isn't a real way to tell for sure, since it's based on your personal biology. All you can really do is look for symptoms of PMS and carry pads/tampons at all times.
If you're 13 or older you're bound to get it very soon. Some girls get it prior to that. If you're athletic you might get it later as a result of the constant physical activity. If you're very over or underweight it can put off your period as well.
Sorry there isn't an exact formula here.
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when do i know when my period is coming? (link)
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This is pretty easy for the most part.
You period, as a rule, comes once every 28 days and last for 3-8 days, results may vary.
The best signs of your period coming are PMS... I shall assume you know what that stands for, but for people who might not, it's Pre Menstrual Syndrome.
PMS comes with headaches, body aches, swollen breasts, irritability. Those are pretty common.
Sometimes you get weird symptoms, like food cravings, sexual cravings, and something they call spotting. Spotting is irritating, and it means you will bleed miniscule amounts (just enough to ruin some underwear).
If you've never had a period before, these signs still apply, but can last longer... which means instead of the week before it's like 3 weeks before... It's spooky but it's normal.
Hope this helped.
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So there's this guy I was introduced to by one of my best friends,we had a thing for a while and then I brought him into my "group" of friends and after that he told me that he just wanted to be friends.
Me and my group of friends hangout with him all the time now,but they wouldn't know him if it weren't for me.
Lately,when we are together (me and the guy) he acts totally normal and like my good friend but then later on he will talk to all my friends via text,myspace,facebook,etc. and NOT ME anymore!
He used to like me as more than a friend but I find it weird how he's talking to everyone but me now!
We had a talk about how we were together all the time so maybe that had something to do with him stopping liking me,so is he just not talking to me to maybe kind of get space ? Or what's the deal here? (link)
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This happens a lot. Usually it's because they had a thing going on with you. You now fall into the "almost ex" category, whether you're his friend or not... It sucks and it's stupid, but that's just how it tends to work.
If it really super bugs you, you can talk to him about it, but I recommend just letting it go. That's what just tends to happen. It sucks, I know... trust me, I know... This happens to me so often it's just stupid...
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my mom hates me i know she does... im 14 years old... on my 14th birthday she kicked me outta my house.... and told me it was my fault.... i dont wanna sound like im the perfect kid cause im not... but i just dont know how to make her happy it seems like im always doing something wrong.... i cant please her..... she tells all my friends parents that im a bad kid.... i spend a lot of time in my room or sleeping so idont hafta see her so icant get her mad at me... i dont know what to do anymore... i dont think i can live like this please hekp me someone.... (link)
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Talk to your school counselor. They can have the matter looked into by social services and have you removed from the house if you think it's really bad.
You could try talking to your mom and ask her what it is that you're doing wrong, but I haven't seen that go well.
Talk to your dad, if he's anywhere in the picture, or any relatives you have that could help you out by letting you stay with them or talking to your mom for you.
Sometimes it takes someone outside the picture to really wake up some people.
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what should i do if my parents get me really mad and start yelling at me for nuttin? my parents think that my lil sister is more respondisble cuz she lies and she gets away wit everything and i tend to cut my uppper arm and that but i dont know wat i should do instead of cutting my upper arm can u tell me wat i should do?
sincerly
confuse girl in OHIO (link)
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Don't bottle up how their yelling at you is making you feel. Tell them, or tell your school counselor.
Instead of cutting yourself wear a rubberband. Snap it until you feel better (your wrist turns this awful purple color until you learn to cope with life better and snap less).
Your parents think that you're being an immature idiot for cutting yourself, which is why they think your little sis is more responsible. Don't worry about your little sis. She'll get hers soon enough. Worry about your parents take you more seriously. Worry about stopping the cutting (or no one will take you seriously).
As an excutter, know I say this following statement knowing about what you're going through.
Cutting yourself is stupid because all it does is make people take you even less seriously than they would if you weren't mutilating yourself. The rubberband thing works, but you should talk to your school counselor, or a professional shrink. They won't lock you up, I promise.
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