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Telling her...


Question Posted Friday December 25 2009, 8:44 pm

17/m
Ok, so I really like this girl, and I want to tell her how I feel. I feel that she needs to know this. I want to know a good way to tell her this. If she doesn't feel the same way, that's fine, I just want to tell her, but I don't want to ruin our friendship, because we're really good friends. So, what's something I can say so she can know how I feel, but not ruin our friendship if she doesn't like me too?


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fakesunsetslast answered Tuesday December 29 2009, 2:22 pm:
well you said your already good friends with her so i think the best way to approach the situation is be honest. Be honest and open with her and your yourself. When your just hanging out together and both of you are just relaxing, just be straight forward with her. Nothing is more attractive than a guy with confidence and assurance in himself. Im sure even i things don't go as you planned and she doesn't feel the same way she will still appreciate your honesty with her and you can go on with some peace of mind knowing the truth. Which could actually strengthen your friendship between one another.

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experienced22 answered Sunday December 27 2009, 5:45 pm:
Sami answered this very nicely. I think it's good to tell her straight forward but slowly so you don't scare her off. Go with Sami's suggestion because I was going to say something similar to that. Just remember to keep a good eye contact and don't rush your words. It really depends on the girl. Most girls would be flattered though. Good luck!

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Viniya answered Saturday December 26 2009, 5:34 pm:
Guess what? She already likes you. You are really good friends.

Now you have romantic feelings for her and you want a way to tell her that will not risk hurting your friendship. You cannot tell her without that risk. Sorry.

Here's a question for you: Do you think she feels the same way? Your intuition is your best guide here. If you think that she does then she probably does. So tell her: "I am attracted to you in a way that is more than friends. How do you feel about that?" She will tell you then you will know.

If you do not think that she shares your romantic interest and if, as you say, it's fine for her to not feel the same way that you do then why do you think that she needs to know about these new feelings expressly? Don't worry. She will figure it out on her own

If you do tell her then the friendship you currently have will end. Maybe you get a new friendship and a romantic partner or maybe a different friendship or maybe no friendship but no matter what, the relationship has a new dimension now that you have realized romantic feelings for her and you risk changing the features of that relationship by telling her.

Don't get me wrong. Maybe telling her is the best thing to do but do not pretend that it is "fine" if she does not feel the same way. But it is not the end of the world if she does not either. Remember it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Finding love means risk. You cannot avoid risk. But risk is also half the fun.

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pseudophun answered Saturday December 26 2009, 2:16 pm:
To paraphrase about what you just said....

"[insert her name here], I don't want to ruin our friendship, at all, but I think you should know that I really like you. It's okay if you don't like me back, but I wanted you to know."

Then you smile, listen to what she says, and so long as you're passive about it, and that is key here... don't be in her face about it, you should be good. Most girls are flattered, not offended or even weirded out.

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