I don't like sex at ALL and I feel that my girlfriend is really pressuring me into it. I told her my past experiences led me to be this way (among other things) and I don't want to hurt her feelings. How can I tell her to just back off?
unicorns_eat_children answered Saturday December 26 2009, 9:08 pm: Ohhh. This isn't good. There is not way you can just get her to "back off". She has hormones. Oh, that's a tough blow I feel super bad for your girlfriend, and bad for you as well. Try taking it very slow. Maybe you'll grow to like it?? If not then you're going to have to explain in explicit detail perhaps, not THAT explicit but... you're going to have to give her an idea of what those "past experiences" are and why you don't like it. She might understand but she might leave you. It's HARD to be in a relationship where sex drives are not some what compatible. [ unicorns_eat_children's advice column | Ask unicorns_eat_children A Question ]
pseudophun answered Saturday December 26 2009, 1:52 pm: My boyfriend's not really a fan of sex either... I mean he likes it sometimes, but he has a super low sex drive. I like sex sometimes, but I have a lot of sexual abuse things to contend with and in general it's nice to not have someone there pressuring me...
It wasn't always this way, though. I've had lots of nympho boyfriends... and girlfriends... If your girl isn't responding to "hey, this happened and I'm just not into sex, sorry, back off" then you need to be more of a "I don't like sex, if you want it so bad go find someone who does" kind of person. I know that sucks, but if she's not respecting your personal limits, you need someone who will.
Razhie answered Friday December 25 2009, 8:33 pm: You don't give your age, or any details on the past experiences, so this is tough to give advice on.
Not liking sex AT ALL, is very different from not being ready to have sex. If you don't like sex at all, and are not willing to explore your sexuality with a loving partner, or see to thier sexual needs and desires... then the only respectful thing to do is to break up with her.
If you are completely, and entirely agianst having sexual contact with your partner, not only does she deserve to know that clearly and totally, but you probably owe it to both of you to end the relationship.
This isn't about people's feelings, this is about being honest about your needs, and respectful of the needs of others.
Most people see sex as an intergal part of a happy and mature relationship. Many people would find a relationship without sex to be lacking something, and to be unfufilling. If your girlfriend is one of those people, then your stance on sex is incompatible with hers, and you can't provide for one another's needs.
If she can't provide for your needs of no sex, and you can't provide for her sexual needs, then this relationship probably isn't going to work in the long term. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
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