I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
Visitors: 32807
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when I was younger I was pretty ugly.. but I felt a lot better about myself than I do now. Like it's weird, I now think in my mind that I'm ugly and everything until I look in a mirror and I'm always surprised that I actually look good.. so why do I feel so bad about myself? I feel like I'm a lot harder on myself than I am with others. I feel awkward and self conscious.. I wish I could just be more confident but idk what to do. (link)
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You're finding out that being confident has nothing to do with how you look. Everybody has something, that magic ring they pursue and think that if they could just get to that goal (more money, better looks, lose weight, bigger house, etc.) then their lives will be great. The truth is, happiness has nothing to do with those things. True confidence has to do with knowing who you are, what you want out of life, and going for your dreams. You don't feel better when you look in the mirror because you don't feel better inside. Join a group, learn a new skill, pursue something you've always wanted to do. Meet as many different types of people as you can. Get to know what you love, what you're good at, and what you want for your future. As you grow and develop in those areas, you will find yourself becoming a more confident person. Its good to feel attractive. But that only counts if the outside matches the inside. You've got the outside part figured out. Now you just need to let the inside part catch up.
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This is kind of a complicated story so bear with me. First some background, I am almost 30 and work for a small company. By small I mean 2 people. A large part of my job is to go out and talk to people around town and deal with complaints. I live in a fairly small town too.
I was involved in an affair that was discovered by my boyfriend's wife a few months ago. (This is not what I need advice on. I do not judge others, so please don't judge me. That is my job.) Needless to say, some things changed.
On to the issue: I have always seen my boss as a father figure, we talked about almost everything. After I told my boss about what had happened he was really upset, but said we would work through it as he could see how upset I was. Just recently my ex's wife called my boss and told him that she wants her family to have nothing to do with me. (Duh.) They have 3 children, whom I occasionally see in the course of my work. They come up and talk to me and I refuse to treat them like they did anything wrong so I ask them how they are, what they're doing for the weekend, etc. (Never anything about their parents.)
My boss completely changed my schedule "for the time being" so my chances of seeing any of them are slimmer. He says he's doing it "to protect" me, but throws in rude comments about the situation every once in awhile. Before anyone says he can't just change my schedule...yes...he can. He knows that work is my life.
I love my job, but this isn't fair. Every time I try to talk to him about it he gets mad and asks how I can't see that he's doing this for me. Any advice on how I can talk to him and get him to see that he's wrong?
(Yes, I realize that it's really none of his business and has no effect on how I do my job, but like I said, he's been a father figure for me for years.)
Thanks in advance. (link)
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Obviously the affair has had an effect on the way your boss judges your character. You admit, he's like a father-figure. How would you feel if you found out one of your own children was having an affair with a married man? You would be disappointed, even a little hurt. I think part of what's happening is your boss' personal reaction to the revelation. He's learned something about you. You're human! And you hurt people and make mistakes, like everyone else. But now he is seeing it close up. It will take a little time for him to adjust, so be patient. Also, you say its a small town, so you also need to think about the fact that, while your boss is upset, he really IS trying to protect you. This situation between you and the ex/wife/family is obviously still simmering. He wants to avoid confrontation while you're on the job. Better for you, for him, for the company. Better for everyone. I hate to tell you this, but maybe YOU'RE wrong. Did you think of that? Maybe your judgment is a bit skewed right now, considering that you're still reeling from a pretty complicated relationship. You were wrong about getting involved with a married man, could you be wrong about how your boss is handling the situation, too? Truth be told, I don't think your real problem is with the shift change. That's just business. I think what hurts you the most is that you may have lost the respect of someone you really care for and look up to. So that's what you need to address, not the unfairness of his decision. So instead of trying to force you to see it your way, why don't you just tell him how you really feel. Tell him you hate that you may have disappointed him, and his opinion of you really matters to you and its eating you up that your personal choices may have caused him to trust you less. Tell him you're sorry, if you want. Even if you're not, it will help. Look, you've created a big mess for yourself. You're not going to get out of it so easy. It will reach into all parts of your life, so you just have to recognize that. You can't compartmentalize your life. What you do in one area will always spill into the others. That's just how it works. You can't change the past. So just move forward with what you have. Stop trying to get everyone to see your side of things and start looking at it from another angle. Even if you still don't agree with them, it will help. Good luck.
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im having a baby but i dont know if i should get an abortion. someone please help me (link)
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I think if you're asking the question you already know you don't want to. Raising a baby is not your only option. Adoption is a very real option. So many parents out there are longing for a baby and can't have one of their own. What a gift your baby could be for someone else. You can take a scary, confusing situation and turn it around for good. There are all types of adoptions to choose from - you can do a blind adoption, where you just give the baby up and don't know who the parents are, or you can pick the family your baby goes to, or you can do a private adoption. Many people will pay all expenses and medical bills for a young lady who knows she wants to give her child for adoption. There are consequences for abortion. No one ever tells you, but it never leaves you, it never goes away, and you carry the pain forever and ever. Don't do that to yourself. It may seem awful and scary right now, but I can tell you from experience that more than anything, a baby is a miracle and a wonderful thing, if not to you, then to someone else. 9 months of your life is not too much to give someone else the gift of life. Think about it. And find support, with family and friends you trust, your church or religious institution, or online in a community of young women in your situation. You are not alone. don't try to go through this alone.
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Just like my title says, I messed up. I was at my boyfriends hockey game and he gave me his phone to play with because he was going to be playing 2 games and mine was dead. I dicked around on angry birds for almost an hour and then of course curiosity got the better of me and I looked ay his texts. I noticed he was talking to a girl named meghan more than me so of fucking course I had to be nosy and read the texts. They've been flirting for a month on and off. Just little things like her calling him sweetie and him saying they should cuddle. It bothered me a lot at first, even gave me a stomach ache. But I didn't say anything. I feel like I brought it on myself by going through his personal stuff.
Its been 2 weeks now and when I think about it I don't feel sick anymore, but I do regret doing it.
I am curious though why he's flirting with her. She lives in rhode island and we live in pennsylvania so its not like he's going to cheat.
Do you think I should talk to him about it or let it go. He would be livid if he knew I went through his phone, and I really love him.
I'm 20 and he is 28. And we have been together for a year and a half.
Thank you! (link)
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Yes, what you did was wrong, but in the process you ended up finding out he was doing something wrong too. You're going to have to face up to this and clear the air. You can't pretend you didn't see what you saw, and it would be silly to think it doesn't mean anything. Who cares where the girl is? You've been together over a year and he's talking and flirting with other girls? That says a lot about where you place in his priorities. I'm afraid you're just going to have to put on your big girl panties and deal with this. Tell him you looked through his texts, you know it was wrong, you're sorry you did it, but you did find the messages and they hurt you. He'll be pissed, of course, but try to keep him on the subject. The point is, you want to know what the hell the is up with the other girl and why he doesn't care for you enough to let you be the only one on his mind and heart. You may not like the answers, or his reaction, but you've found a problem in your relationship that isn't going away by itself. Find out where you stand. good luck.
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For a long time i have felt out of place, heartless i am unable to feel any emotions, i dont mourn deaths , i can't love and i feel drained of any kind of emotion besides anger; is this normal? (link)
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No, but its more common than you think. Its sometimes referred to as a disconnection from your "authentic self". Its a defensive reaction that comes from some trauma or set of traumas in your life. The good news is that it can be helped. And even better, you realize you have a problem! That is half the battle. But now you need to seek help to deal with the problem. Seek out counseling. A good place to start is asking your doctor for a referral to a therapist or psychiatrist. Or you can search online for community centers in your area that offer free or low cost counseling services. Good luck to you. I promise, when you get this figured out you are going to be AMAZED at how good you feel. You'll feel free.
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F/18
Please don't tell me that I'm too young to get married. My fiance and I have been together for almost 4 years. We got engaged when I was 17 and he was 19. He's leaving this August for the Navy and he's going to be training as a SEAL. My question is when would be the best time to get married? It's either before his basic in August or after his first deployment which is 3 years from now. I know there's not very much leave time during each section of training and I don't want to get court house married. I would just like some input from others. Thanks :) (link)
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If you don't want to just go to the court house then wait until after the deployment. A nice wedding takes a long time and a lot of money to plan. If you wait you'll have plenty of time to plan the day you've always dreamed of and save money to do it right. Remember, you only get to do it once, so give yourself the time to do it right!
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Hi! A follow up question to my previous queries (under the same subject title). The guy didn't call (after my "umbrella msg"). I sent a text asking him to go to a movie since I had to be in his town for another reason and indicated if he were most comfortable making it a platonic outing, I would be ok with that as well. He never responded in any way and I have not heard from him in the ensuing question. Although a lack of response seems a bit rude, I still have positive interest in this guy. I am hearing loud and clear he's not that into me. Would it be ok to check in with him in a 2 or 3
of months and either 1) explore what went wrong or 2) ask him out again.
Perhaps I should mention that I had gained ALOT of weight between our initial aquaintenceship and the "reunion" meeting and I wonder if that is part of what went wrong ( I have been losing weight over past 8 weeks and expect to continue losing 10-13 lbs per month. Also I am considering contacting him again in the future because I am interested/attracted to him in a way that is quite uncommon for me. It's happened 2 times in past 11 years. (link)
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Hmmm... I can't say if its your weight or not. Who knows with that kind of stuff. But I definitely think the guy is giving you the brush off. Don't spend any more time on this one. I know you are dying to know what the real deal is, but you have to except the fact that he just isn't that into you and move on. Contacting him again in a few months when he hasn't even returned a text would only make you look more desperate. Don't send anymore texts or messages. His lack of communication is answer enough. I'm sorry you had to fall for such a rude guy, but try not to take it too personally. If he was really interested the weight thing wouldn't be an issue at all, so stop thinking about that. And stop wasting any more energy on this guy. He's not interested. If he changes his mind, he knows how to get a hold of you. Walk away. There is someone better out there for you but you may be missing him by spending so much energy worrying about this guy. You can do better. Good luck.
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20/F and 22/M
Okay. So I have a friend, call him Steve. I've known him for YEARS and I know his family well. During high school, we hung out with different crowds so we went our ways and now we're really close friends again.
And of course, NOW I like him more than a friend since we've been hanging out and going out for almost a year now.
Problem is... he has a girlfriend that he's been dating on-and-off for about 8 months. The girlfriend is not exactly a friend but more than an acquaintance. The girlfriend is a strong believer in abstinence and Steve is definitely NOT a virgin (Kudos to her but that's not my style).
So Steve and I have gone out a lot lately(without his girlfriend). I don't consider them dates. SO, we were going out this past Friday night. Well my mom and her two friends wanted to talk to him while I finished getting ready. So I walked out and who knows what all those crazy women said to him. Haha.
So, we go out, had a blast. On the way home I asked him what my mom and her friends were saying. Well they said 'that he should dump his girlfriend and sweep me off of my feet because that's what I want.' Which is true in a way. So I then asked him what he had said back to it and he said "Well, I kinda asked your mom for permission to date you."
Well, I text my mom and asked her if she remembered that (they were all drinking at the time) and she said she didn't remember it.
I asked him if he was serious about that and he said yeah he was serious. And that he was definitely breaking up with his girlfriend.
Well, of course, Facebook sucks in some ways. The girl that he is currently dating always tags them wherever they go. So last night, they were having dinner together. And I haven't heard much of him since Friday night. Does this mean that he's not interested or something? He's still in a relationship on his FB (and he has an iPhone if it makes a difference).
UGH. Tips? I'm a very impatient person. I'm VERY independent. I don't need him, I just want him more than friends. But like I said, I don't NEED him.
I don't want to be pushy/clingy/crazy. That's definitely not me. So, should I just ignore him until he messages/calls/texts me first? Btw, I hate waiting too. Been there, done that and I absolutely hate it.
Tips, suggestions, ANYTHING at all would be a great help. :)
Thanks in advance!!
(link)
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He has a girlfriend. What kind of guy goes out with another girl while he has a girlfriend? Put yourself in her shoes. Not cool. He may well break up with her. But obviously he's in no hurry.. which says a lot about his character and there relationship. As hard as it is, back off this one until you know for sure he's broken up. If you set your standards low, trust me, a your guy will live up to them. So aim high. That's what you deserve. You DON'T deserve to be second banana. That's tacky.
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This is rather long, so I apologize in advance. 3 months ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. He was not ambitious and hardly seemed to care about his future, so my future with him appeared bleak. I want interdependence with a guy, not one who only depends on me. Also, he has a very dysfunctional family, and I don't mean just the typical problems that any family would have. If that were the only thing wrong, I would be able to overlook it and stay with him, but I really couldn't deal with his lack of direction in life.
We've rarely talked since then and I thought I’d moved on, but we talked again a few days ago, and I realized I hadn’t. He isn't over me yet, and for him, talking to me helps him find closure and move on, but for me, it's the opposite: I need to cut off contact with him in order to move on.
If he could one day prove that he has changed and decided what he wants to do with his life, I would consider getting back together with him. However, my parents strongly object to our relationship. You might say that this is my life and I shouldn't be allowing my parents to decide what I want, but I confide in my parents a lot and I trust their judgment. They’re so worried about my happiness, or lack thereof, in the future if I had stayed with him. Even if he did change and we got back together, I know that my parents would never fully approve, and that makes me unhappy because I want them to like the guy I choose to be with.
The reason I find it so difficult to move on is that, aside from these major flaws, he is everything I could want in a guy, and I'm so afraid I'll never find someone who will love me as much as he did. He kept me at the very top of his priorities and always had or made time for me, and I felt so lucky because judging by many of my friends’ relationships, their boyfriends don’t prioritize them very highly. I'm so emotionally wrecked after talking to him again, and I’m angry with myself for not being able to move on even though I initiated the break-up. Do you think it’s at all possible that he and I could ever be together again, or should I just let the thought go? And is it normal that I still can't move on even though I was the one who broke it off? (link)
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Wow, lots of stuff here! Ok. Listen.. it is TOTALLY normal for you to still be feeling this way. Give yourself a break! You were together for 2 years and you've only been broken up for 3 months. That's not a really long time if you think about it. You cared for him and he for you, so it will take longer than a few months to move on from that. It sucks, but its true. So there is nothing wrong with you. You have to understand that you need time (you do seem to get that) and be patient with yourself. I applaud your understanding that you need to cut off contact. It won't help either of you to keep the strings tied while you're trying to move forward. And respecting what your parents think is a good thing and I would never look down on you for that. I'm married and I know that when you are in a relationship, your family support is super important. I think its awesome that you trust them enough to take into account how they feel about the people you love. Because they love you so much and just want you to be happy, and often times parents have to benefit of life experience, and so have a lot of wisdom to offer about relationships and warning signs. So I think you are very wise to at least consider their thoughts. Now, you say that it is so hard because besides his flaws he's everything you want in a guy. But lets go over his flaws as you've outlined them in this letter:
-He's not ambitious
-He doesn't care about future
-He's too dependent
-He has a dysfunctional family that limits his ability to interact normally in a relationship.
Besides all this he is perfect? These are some big "buts", my dear. Your instincts are telling you that you're not going in the same direction, and hanging on to someone who is pulling you in the opposite direction will only bring heartache (even greater than what you're experiencing right now). I do believe its possible that you two could find your way back to each other one day. People change, and maybe he just needs some time to figure out what he wants in life and how to get it. He needs to grow up a little, and maybe this break up is just the shock he needs to shake him up a bit. It could take months, it could take years. You can't be concerned with that right now. You have to go your own way, learn more about yourself, where you're going, who you want to be. Live your life. If it is meant to be, your paths will cross again someday. If not, well, you've learned so much about what you want out of a relationship. That's invaluable. You've grown, and no one can take that away from you. I've been where you are and I know the pain, but try to remind yourself that in time, the pain will become less and less. In the meantime, do your best to fill your time with other things. Friends, activities, etc. Even when you don't feel like it. You'll have to practice getting out there and "being normal" and in time, you actually will feel normal again. It will get better. I promise. And the wisdom and maturity with which you have faced this issue tells me that you have many good things in store for your future. Good luck and hang in there! You can do this!
PS- I wanted to add that I saw DangerNerd's response to your question on the public forum and he is an a-hole! Please don't take him seriously or listen to what he said. What a douche! Its not hard to tell he's had his heart broken before. Ignore that advice. It was awful. I would have responded on your public post, but Advicenators are not allowed to comment publicly about other advice. So I just wanted to send you a personal note to let you know he was being a jerk!
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what does it mean when a guy friend says he likes you as a friend (link)
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It means "I don't like you as a girlfriend"
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Okay, I stopped attending my church because my favorite pastor was let go, he now runs a church out of his home on Sunday nights, what they call an "organic church." I love it. Now, there are a lot of people there that are older than me and more experienced in their walks with Christ. They are so on fire for Jesus and bringing up incredible topics and stories from the bible and all of the teenagers there hardly ever speak because we are so inexperienced. I want to be on fire like the rest of the group, I don't want to be it for them, I want to be on fire for Christ for me. It will help me to better understand the discussions, it will help me to interact more with the people in the group and if I know what to say and what to talk about, I won't feel so stupid to be speaking. My question is, how do I go about being this? Should I get a devotions book or memorize random verses or just read the bible in general? I know I'm a good person and I love Jesus with all my heart but I want to be the one next week to be speaking and raising my voice over the talk of everyone else because I have something incredible to add. Any help is appreciated. Thanks so much, God Bless (link)
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You sound like you already are! Being on fire for God doesn't mean knowing everything about Him. It means that you are hungry to learn more about Him. So consider yourself on fire for God already, and start finding ways to feed that fire. A great place to start is with a devotional book that helps you study each day and guides you. Then just keep attending church and learning more about your Lord and how to serve. Happy learning!
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Thanks for your advice. I actually did call him to tell him I would be interested in a date ( I used the word date). He said "woo-hoo" or something like that. I explained that I had been put off my his comment that he wasn't sure (when i asked if we would be going to proposed ball game as "buddies"). He stumbled around and said "it's all so new" and saved him and said "no pressure, i just wanted to put it out there. He was driving with a coworker, indicated he would call back at a better time. The next day his number was on my caller id (landline, not cell) but no message. That was 2-3 day ago. Last night I left him a message (via slydial so it went right to voicemail) and told him I had seen his number on my caller id and it reminded me that I wanted to let him know that i had popped his umbrella in the mail (he had left it in my car and we are going through a rainy period here). I ended the message by saying" hope you are well. bye" Feedback? (link)
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Sounds like you are both a little out of practice on the whole dating thing! LOL! Well, it sounds like he is interested. Keep in mind that guys don't operate on girl time. 2-3 days seems like a while to us, but its normal for them. I think you've done the right things. As hard as it will be, sit tight and wait. You've put yourself on his radar, now its up to him to make the next contact. But I have a feeling he will. So hang in there! Good luck.
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A man I worked with about 5 years ago returned to the state where I live and looked me up on the web. We previously had verbalized mutual attraction but the timing and circumstances were not right for us to connect then. We have had phone contact which has been flirtatious, (but not sexual) and met up last Tuesday night for coffee and a walk on the beach. (He had offered dinner, but I wanted to keep it casual) I KNOW I sent mixed messages because I was nervous and afraid of rejection. He asked when he could see me again and mentioned a couple activities/events. I was an ass and said "well, how do you think it went tonight?" UGH!! He say he thought it went well. Later he mentioned going to a b-ball game and I said "like buddies?" (I wanted to know if this was a date or not!) He said "I'm not sure yet." So when he went to kiss me at the end of the date I physically stopped him because all I could hear in my mind was "I'm not sure yet", which might have been in response to my nervous not-so smooth responses to his earlier comments. He said he was just going to give me a kiss on the lips "like a sister." (he's italian american). Obviously I'm an idiot. I haven't dated much in a while and was quite nervous as I am VERY interested in this man. I sent him a text when I got home as he requested, saying I had arrived safely. i phoned the next day to do some "repair" work and told him I would be interested in seeing him again - on a date-, but no pressure. He was in the presence of a colleague and said he would call later when he could speak more freely.The next day his number was on caller Id but no message.Two days have gone by since. I don't feel comfortable making any more overtures but am curious about what might be going on at his end. Thoughts?
[ (link)
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I think this is an instance where email/FB is your friend. Drop a quick message and briefly explain yourself. Tell him you are worried you sent some mixed signals the other day and you just wanted him to know that you did enjoy your time together and look forward to another date if he's interested. Yes, use the word date. If he's not going to make it clear what it was, then you should. Then just tell him to call you if he would like to do something again. Then goodbye. Short, sweet, to the point, casual. After that, if he doesn't respond, well at least you have the comfort of knowing you were able to explain yourself, so if he doesn't call then he's really not interested. I understand that you are nervous after being out of the market for a while. I like that you don't want to be the aggressor. I think a man should pursue the woman he wants. So send the email. Then the ball is in his court for good.And you don't have to wonder if things would be different if you'd only had the chance to explain yourself. Good luck.
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I'm fifteen. In a hurry to leave to the bus stop, I usually make breakfast quick and eat it standing up by the counter. My mom always complains about it, and once she told me that it's not good for my health to eat while standing. Lately I've been wondering if that's true, or she's just telling me that so I will eat slower.
I feel dumb, but does eating while standing really affect your health?
Thanks! (link)
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LOL! My mother used to tell me the same thing! I always thought it was true until one day I asked my stepmother, who is a doctor. She said it is not true. Now that I'm a grown up, I eat standing up when I want to, but I ALWAYS think about my mother whenever I do.
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Ok - First ever question that I have ever posted, please anyone, your opinion/advice would be greatly appreciated.
I have been with my husband for 5 years, married for just over a year. We had a good sex life to begin with then it dwindled to nothing. The last time I had sex with my husband was July 2010.
About 18 months into our relationship I discovered that he was into cross dressing, very upsetting and hard for me to take, automatically jumping to conclusions about his sexuality, especially coupled with the fact that he had become less and less interested in me sexually. After a lot of talking and research I concurred that he wasn't gay and that we could carry on as it was not a huge part of his life. It can be said that my husband is a bit of a recluse, doesn't engage in activities outside the home with me or with anyone else. Then all of a sudden he will. I have suspected for a long time that he has some bipolar type mental issue too. But I digress. Yesterday I took in a parcel and opened it (don't know why) and it contained butt plugs, an anal simulator thing and lubrication. When I challenged him he said he wasn't gay, wasn't that sexual a person thus explaining his lack of interest in me but was keen on jerking off hence this purchase. The website that he bought the items off is a gay website. I am in tears constantly as I don't know what to do. Can anyone out there help? I am not a prude, enjoy anything sexually and am very open minded. I am from England.
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This doesn't sound like an issue you can handle yourself. You need some help. Ask your husband to attend marriage counseling with you. Whatever is happening, you both need some clarity, and you'll need a professional, impartial third party to help you do that. If he won't go with you, go by yourself. You need help with this.
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i am a 32 year old women and i feel very ill i have headaces, feel sick and have also wet myself a few times? (link)
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These can be symptoms of a neurological problem. See a doctor right away. Bed-wetting plus headaches at your age are not normal at all. Not at all. Please make an appointment as soon as possible.
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I have been a smoker for about five years but recently I've found that my first two or three cigarettes of the day make me feel really lightheaded. I used to get this when I first started smoking, why am is this happening again now? (link)
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Smoking constricts your blood vessels, meaning there is less room for oxygen in your blood. In essence, it strangles you, so the light-headedness is from lack of oxygen. Since you have been a smoker for a few years and this is popping up suddenly, I would be concerned that something is happening with your blood pressure/heart. My husband is a smoker and a couple of years ago he had this same issue. It ended up being a big health scare that ended in a near stroke and trip to the hospital. So go to the doctor to get yourself checked out. Or quit smoking. But I know how hard that is, so if you can quit cold turkey, you should at least go to the doctor so you can have a better idea of what's happening with your body.
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me and my boyfriend have been dating for 9 months now and lately i have been doubting him and believe that he has been lying to me, like he went for this party with his guy friend and he was really wasted and these two drunk girls asked him for a ride home and i heard that he slept with one of them but he explained and i believed him but then his friend told me that my boyfriend told him that " he makes love to me but he likes to fuck other girls" this friend has no reason to lie. so what do i do i want to break up because i'm no longer happy but i don't know why a part of me still wants to be with him and how do i break up with him what if he's not really cheating but he does often go to parties and i'm not with him (link)
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Oh girl, please. You know he's cheating. Do yourself a favor and let him go. There's someone better out there for you and you may miss him because you're spending all your time and energy on this creep.
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Like most teenagers.. I'm looking to make a few bucks.
first of all, if you didn't already know- teenagers are busy. I don't have much time to get a job. I'm involved in 2 sports, plus i've got loads of homework each night. i'm taking advanced/enriched high school classes and even a few college prep courses. if i did get a job, i would work 1 or 2 times per week.
there aren't any kids in my neighborhood so i can't nanny or babysit. my parent's friend's don't have any younger kids. I've thought about a garage sale but there's seriously nothing in my house people would want. my parents are neat freaks, so i'm pretty sure any junk we have has already been thrown away. I've tried online surveys which will pay you, but its really hard because each survey takes about 30 minutes and you only get 1.50 for each survey. and i don't have that much time/patience for 1 stupid survey. i've tried selling things on craigslist like movies i don't watch or video games my brother used.. but no luck :(
anyone have any other ideas? thanks! oh and i'm 18 years old and a girl. the only work experience i had was an assistant coach for a youth sports team, and a summer sports camp counselor for kindergarteners. (link)
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You could clean houses/ offices. Decide on a rate, hang some flyers and see who bites.
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im 18/f hes 19/m
i apologize in advance cause its really long but i figured you'll need as much info to help with the situation;
The last 4 months i have become really close with a guy i consider my best friend. I know as cliche as it is, but ever since i was little i told my mum "i want to find the boy version of myself" and i believe 100% that he IS the boy version of me. We both have commented in the past how amazing yet scary it is how much we're alike. seriously even little things and mannerisms of ours are the same, stuff that no one i've ever even met before does. I've never had a boyfriend due to how 'different' i am. I've had plenty of opportunities but i wanted to wait and save myself for someone special. I wanted to find a guy that loved me for my differences, perhaps even be as much of an oddball as me :) But with all my bad luck with past guys it seems as if he's almost too good to be true. which makes me hesitate and want to give up, just purely because it hasn't worked out for me at all in the past, why would everything suddenly work out now? But anyway, in the four months that we have been extremely close, we have texted everyday (not as much nowadays unfortunately :c) anyways he lives about an hour away from me and only recently got his license so it made it difficult for us to meet up before hand due to neither of us having licences...but when we did meet up, even if we only saw each other for a little bit, it would be instant sparks. One time when we met up at a club we were both extremely drunk, and for the first time he kissed me. (we have talked about wanting to kiss each other before, but he's scared of ruining things, as am i) the rest of the night we held hands everywhere we went, and he was constantly cuddling me. we spent 10 minutes just holding each other, we looked like a couple and it felt so natural with him. however i had to leave early. I was so certain that perhaps he had been feeling the same sort of feelings i have, i mean he risked the kiss. Then a couple of days later he texted me saying he wanted to facepalm *basically means he wants to die in a hole sort of feeling like "oh why did i do that"* and i asked him why. he told me that his friends told him he kissed one of his friends that night i met up with him. the same night he kissed me. he started freaking out being like "you saw it didnt you!" and started worrying i saw him kissing this other girl. i told him i didnt, and asked him if remembered ANYTHING else from that night. he told me he remembers walking ages to get home. I then told him that he also kissed me that night, before he kissed his other friend. (i was upset to find out he kissed someone else that night too, doubted that he actually does like me) but then he said something interesting. He started apologising for kissing me and he said to me "totes facepalming...that kiss wasn't meant to happen yet! >. (link)
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Sounds to me like you are just going to have to suck it up and tell him how you feel, and ask him if he feels the same. I realize it is a huge risk, and very scary, but you are going crazy right now! You need to do something to ease the weight on your shoulders. So be truthful with him. Whatever his answer is, you'll learn something about him, and yourself. Good luck.
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