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complicated situation, i dont know how to feel or what to do.
im 18/f hes 19/m
i apologize in advance cause its really long but i figured you'll need as much info to help with the situation;
The last 4 months i have become really close with a guy i consider my best friend. I know as cliche as it is, but ever since i was little i told my mum "i want to find the boy version of myself" and i believe 100% that he IS the boy version of me. We both have commented in the past how amazing yet scary it is how much we're alike. seriously even little things and mannerisms of ours are the same, stuff that no one i've ever even met before does. I've never had a boyfriend due to how 'different' i am. I've had plenty of opportunities but i wanted to wait and save myself for someone special. I wanted to find a guy that loved me for my differences, perhaps even be as much of an oddball as me :) But with all my bad luck with past guys it seems as if he's almost too good to be true. which makes me hesitate and want to give up, just purely because it hasn't worked out for me at all in the past, why would everything suddenly work out now? But anyway, in the four months that we have been extremely close, we have texted everyday (not as much nowadays unfortunately :c) anyways he lives about an hour away from me and only recently got his license so it made it difficult for us to meet up before hand due to neither of us having licences...but when we did meet up, even if we only saw each other for a little bit, it would be instant sparks. One time when we met up at a club we were both extremely drunk, and for the first time he kissed me. (we have talked about wanting to kiss each other before, but he's scared of ruining things, as am i) the rest of the night we held hands everywhere we went, and he was constantly cuddling me. we spent 10 minutes just holding each other, we looked like a couple and it felt so natural with him. however i had to leave early. I was so certain that perhaps he had been feeling the same sort of feelings i have, i mean he risked the kiss. Then a couple of days later he texted me saying he wanted to facepalm *basically means he wants to die in a hole sort of feeling like "oh why did i do that"* and i asked him why. he told me that his friends told him he kissed one of his friends that night i met up with him. the same night he kissed me. he started freaking out being like "you saw it didnt you!" and started worrying i saw him kissing this other girl. i told him i didnt, and asked him if remembered ANYTHING else from that night. he told me he remembers walking ages to get home. I then told him that he also kissed me that night, before he kissed his other friend. (i was upset to find out he kissed someone else that night too, doubted that he actually does like me) but then he said something interesting. He started apologising for kissing me and he said to me "totes facepalming...that kiss wasn't meant to happen yet! >.<" he then texted me to tell me to ignore that last text..and then he texted me again saying. "i'll tell you what i meant by that text one day".
so of course i was confused, what did he mean by 'that kiss wasnt meant to happen YET" like he was planning something special for our first kiss or something (thats what i hoped for anyway) because i couldnt make any sense of it. so anyway i continued on, us getting on great like per usual. however i would always keep doubting that he could possibly like me too. So i just kept my feelings bottled up. Once he got his license he made much more effort to come see me and whatnot. He makes me feel so special when im with him and stuff, he shares songs with me and stuff that no ones heard (hes lead singer in local band) and he even let me listen to his bands new ep before ANYONE else. He tells me all his secrets except for when it comes to the 'mystery girl' he likes. Anyway, again i've been hearing more of this "ill tell you one day" business. he told me he thinks he may have found the one... i asked him if he would tell me who, and he says "ill tell you one day". Even the other night he told me to listen to this song called pulse-hit the lights, because its EXACTLY how he feels right now, and i commented asking him if it was a good or bad thing, he said "both, the lyrics are just a big impact. ill tell you someday =]" I spent 10 hours with just him the other day and it was amazing to say the least. and he told me he was filming me when i was playing his computer game cause i "looked so cute i just had too!".
he says things like this and whatnot but hes very hot and cold, it gets me really really confused. cause part of me thinks he feels the same way i do...that im special... but then sometimes he gets me thinking the complete opposite. His other best friend, also a girl, is MADLY in love with him, and he keeps assuring me he doesnt like her. and that he thinks shes annoying and he doesnt see a future with her, but that doesnt stop me worrying that ill lose him to her.
He keeps talking about his 'mystery girl' that he likes at the moment, i keep wishing that I am his mystery girl but i honestly dont know :( he freaked out when he found out that i read what he wrote about her... how he likes her, thinks shes amazing and wants to be in a relationship with her, but isnt ready and is torn. he absolutely freaked when he found out that i saw it, and he got really embarrassed. now im stuck in the awkward "i dont know where i stand with him" phase....does he like me? am i the mystery girl? even if i am will anything actually happen between us? should i just get over him? im just so so confused :(
im seeing him again sometime this week...but i just dont know what to think!
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girl the answer is right in front of you he loves you to bits. its just that he's shy if you ask him how he met her or wats her persnality you can follow those clues but im 100% sure its you hun
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I'm a guy, and I can tell you for certain that guys are idiots. I was a total moron at that age and never knew when a girl liked me, no matter how many hints she gave. So you could be the mystery girl, or he could be leading you on without knowing it. The other advicenator is right; you just have to tell him how you feel. He could be planning something, and waiting for a perfect moment that will never come. Trust me, it's better to know if you're the one than to keep guessing. If this guy is smart he'll thank you for it later.
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Guys can be very very hot and cold. and they confuse the hell out of you!!!
But i see in your writing that there are major hints that he does like your. I'm assuming your the same post as the one a few days-ish ago about seeing that conversation on a website and then the guy deleting it really quick.
Honestly the best thing to do would be to tell him straight out. I Like You. Alot.
Yes i know this is scary. and nerve racking. but it is better to know then to keep questioning and making yourself worry when you two could be making out right this second :P
I hope everything works out hon.
If you have any more questions,.
Please ask:)
~Jasmine*
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Sounds to me like you are just going to have to suck it up and tell him how you feel, and ask him if he feels the same. I realize it is a huge risk, and very scary, but you are going crazy right now! You need to do something to ease the weight on your shoulders. So be truthful with him. Whatever his answer is, you'll learn something about him, and yourself. Good luck.
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