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Should we have broken up?
Both of us are in college.
She asks me if I can see us together, what it'll be like, how we'll live, kids, etc etc. Problem is I'm not sure I can think that way. See I'm excruciatingly busy, as is she, and things are very uneasy right now, e.g. I don't have a clue what I'll be doing next week let alone next year. So when she asks me to explain the future, I don't know what to say.
Subsequently we broke up, mostly due to the fact that she doesn't want to be with someone that doesn't see a future. Its not that I don't see a future with her as I don't see a future period. I honestly have no idea what things are going to be like or what I'm going to do. I still love her, and she says that she loves me as well.
Should we have broken up? If not, how can we get back together (my thoughts haven't changed, nor have hers). Thanks.
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This question just screams: COUPLES COUNSELING!
My friend, you were very honest in your assessment of the situation, and that is ALWAYS a good sign.
Have you explained this to her, just the way you did here? What you have written here, is logical and certainly nothing to end an otherwise good relationship over.
Like you said: It isn't that you don't see a future with her, just that you don't know how to plan for 15 minutes from now.
You see a future with her, you just don't know what it looks like yet. If she can't accept that, then you two aren't a fit. Her demands are unreasonable, unless she doesn't understand what you are saying.
I would try counseling. I really would. You just may not be able to explain it in a way she can understand.
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Just tell her that you love her and tell her a future it doesnt have to be the truth nor a lie neither of you know what the future is like call her up and tell her you see each other in a beatiful houe with a fenced in back yard with (x) kids we are sitting on chairs in the back yard watching our children play i mean an adorable story of what you can picture it doesnt have to be what you really think is going to happen tell her years from know i see my self with you happily married etc.
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Yes, you were right to break up. Neither of you are wrong to feel the way you do, but the truth is, you are not on the same page. Its not fair to her to take up her time when you know you are not looking to the future right now, and that's all she wants. You are giving her the freedom to find someone who will share her vision of the future, and she is giving you the freedom to concentrate on the present. Seems like a very caring thing to do.
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