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Q: 17/f
New York state
I am nearing the end of my senior year in high school, but lately, I haven't been attending daily because I've been pretty ill, physically. I have an overactive thyroid which is causing me to have diarrhea, as well as many other health issues.
The past two times I've tried staying home from school, though (and after my mom has already called me in sick), the Principal and Guidance Counselor have showed up AT MY DOOR, and told me to get my things and get ready for school. Then, they TAKE ME TO SCHOOL THEMSELVES.
My mom doesn't do much to stop it because... I don't know why. Because I guess she thinks they're doing the right thing.
What I'm wondering is if there are any actual laws for the state of New York that state whether or not this is allowed.
I'm not deathly ill, but I've almost passed out many times in school from being extremely light-headed.
And as far as my health goes, I stay completely hydrated (I drink sooo much water) and try my best to eat normally and healthily. It's not so bad that I have to go to the emergency room or anything (at least not yet), but yesterday, I almost had to. And they still forced me to go to school. And the nurse refused to send me home because I've apparently missed too many days of school already.
The thing with my attendance, though, is that I'm already not graduating on time. I need to go to summer school for one class, and I'll either receive my diploma in August, or in January. So I don't see why they're forcing me to go if (a) I feel terribly ill ALWAYS, and (b)I'm ALREADY not graduating on time anyways.
I...ugh. Yeah.
My question: Are there any laws for New York State that state whether or not it is allowed for a Principal and Guidance Counselor to show up at a student's door, even when they're sick, and force them to go to school and do all their work, even when there's no point in doing so, because the student is already not graduating on time?
All help is appreciated in advance, thank you.
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In probably just about every case, at least in industrialized countries like the US, there are some laws that pertain to school attendance. However, these laws generally deal with people who just refuse to send their children to school or children who have a habit of frequently skipping without any good reason.
I don\'t know for sure but I would be more than willing to bet that school administrators cannot come to someone’s home and take them to school in the manner you are suggesting.
While it is necessary for students to attend so many days of school to move on to the next grade or graduate, there are a lot of people who become sick and can\'t make that happen. This was actually the case with my father as a child.
As far as I know, in these cases, there\'s really one of two things that will happen. 1. The student will be held back in that grade another year. 2. The school, school district or some other entity will work with a family to arrange studies outside of the school to fit the requirements.
With all that being said, I would really take a serious look into your health. You really shouldn\'t be feeling like this. Who knows, maybe it\'s something that can be worked out with just a regular prescription or something simple like that.
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Q: Hi I just wanted to ask should I go to college if I already know what I want to do and it doesn't involve college? And my family is forcing me to go to become a teacher nurse or doctor and I don't want to do that... What should I do?...
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No matter what you want to do in life, if you have the opportunity to go to college, I believe you should take it. However, that doesn\'t mean anyone should force you study something you don\'t want to.
Let\'s get to the issue of attending a college first and then move on to the family thing.
First of all, you may have something that you want to do but just because you want it doesn\'t mean that it will always work out that way. So, keeping your options open is always a good idea. Getting a college education, even if it is in general studies, will help you do that. Second, college allows for a period and experience of social growth and maturity and a change to gain some insight into the \"real world\" if you will. I can\'t stress the importance of this enough.
Now, as far as you family pushing you to a specific field goes, the final decision has to be yours. Your family members don\'t have to live your life or go to your workplace or job everyday, you do. While I assume they want what they think is the best for you, it is your life and being that you are the one who has to live it, you have to do something that you can live with.
Sure, your family may be upset if you stray from the path they want you to follow. But, any real family will eventually come around and will either embrace or at least accept your decision here.
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Q: 26/f
This is a bit of a strange question I suppose.
I'm going into psychology. I intend to work with people. I'm very, very good at my job, which is involves social work. I got into the school I wanted, I raised a wonderful, sweet cat who's a fantastic companion, I'm happily single, headed toward my dream career, independent, etc...
But I never fit in. I don't connect with my age group at all. I look young for my age, but I feel like I'm closer to 40 than 30, and my body is falling apart inside - I'm a medical mess (crohn's disease, chronic pain, arthritis, history of anorexia, PTSD, depression, chronic insomnia, and formerly nightmare disorder). I have an affinity for classical music, I get piano sonatas stuck in my head and people I consider close friends laughed at me when I excitedly showed them a new book of arias I'm working on learning.
Even in my own friend group I'm not part of the group. I always feel like I'm observing from the outside, even when I make an attempt to be part of the crowd. It's not that these people exclude me at all. They make efforts to INCLUDE me, if anything.
I just don't feel like I fit in my own skin somehow.
I'm not really sure what my question is... does anyone have thoughts on this? Suggestions? Experiences?
Thanks to everyone who responds.
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Coming from a person who has had his own issues with \"fitting in,\" I feel for you here. At this point, you are a bit younger than me but we are both, as you say, closer to 30 than 40 as well.
First off, you need to realize that it is OK to be different. Your differences from others in your social group contribute to your uniqueness and individuality, two of the best things about any person. It seems like you are the one putting pressure on yourself and your friends are more than willing to accept and include you. Did you ever stop and think that they might find you interesting because of your uniqueness?
In addition to these friends, you can also try to expand your social circle to people who have similar interests. This way, you can have friends more like yourself and friends who have different interests, both of which are very healthy and can be great. Some ways you can do this is by seeking out clubs in your community or online groups through forums and possibly sites like Meetup.com.
When it comes to the mental ailments, my suggestions would be to take some time to read about cognitive therapy and implement it in your life. It really works. Also, take some time out to relax and maybe even try to learn to meditate. These can do wonders.
As far as physical ailments go, do what you can. Eat healthy, take appropriate meds and follow the advice of healthcare professionals.
Last but not least, focus on the good things in your life more than dwelling on your challenges. Good luck, I\'ll be puling for you.
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Q: 18/f
My bf bought me tickets to see my fave band and the gig is soon. So I thought I'd make a scrapbook and give it to him after the gig as a thankyou present.
I like the idea of having solid photographs rather than all our memories stored on digital cameras/phones etc.
We've been together 6 mnths and I bought a photo album. But what else aside from photos shall I put in there to make it look cute?
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I commend you on your creativity. In this digital age it is often a lost art to create something more physical and concrete.
Of course, photos are the obvious place to start. I would think that another good thing to do would put the ticket stubs from this particular concert and any other places or events you attended together in the book as well. '
If you have any nicknames you call each other or phrases you use together maybe you could type them out in a cute font and on nice paper and cut them out to put into the book too. It would also be a nice touch to write a little note at both the beginning and the end of the book (if it's not one that will be something ongoing) telling him how special you think he is.
If you really want to go all out, maybe you can include a few little objects here and there that have special meaning for you as a couple. For example, if your first date was at a Chinese restaurant, maybe you can get a fortune cookie from that place and keep the fortune from it in the scrap book.
Hope these ideas help.
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Q: Ok I won't say the names of these school, but one will be School A, and I went to school a for 6 years and it was ok, then I left and went to School B for a year and loved it. I made so many friends, but I had to annually do a public speaking project, and it scared me so much I decided to go back to School A. Now I need to decide where to go next year. I have friends at both schools and I like School B better but I'm soooo scared of Public speaking there. What do I do? If anyone can help I would be sooo grateful and give advice in return!!
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I can relate to your public speaking concerns. In fact, in various surveys it has been said to be one of the top 3 fears of the average person.
As you said, you like School B better. That being the case, you have to decide how much more you like that school and if it is worth facing your fear. Based on the fact that you even bothered to write this and seek advice, I think it's pretty obvious that you are willing to try to face that challenge.
If you do choose to face it and get back into School B, I think you have a few options.
1. Find out if you can sit or be behind a desk while speaking. This can be surprisingly helpful in reducing the stress.
2. Include props in your speech if you are allowed to do so. For example, show video clips or include some audio. This can help minimize the amount that you actually have to speak.
3. If acceptable, you can encourage discussion or allow the audience to comment, this also takes the focus off of you to some extent and can move things along.
4. Listen to calming music before your presentation. Do some research on breathing techniques that also help with relaxation.
You can do this.
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Q: “They" say all magic is from the devil. “they" say that all magic is sinful, against God. But why? I know the bible says so, but, and I don't mean to question God: I DON'T!!!!!! Can the bible not know everything? Could the witch thing be based on the stereo typed, misunderstood witches of the past? My point is, some use magic to heal, help, BLESS, increase spirituality in someone, honor a dead loved one, banish evil spirits, would the devil give someone the ability to weaken him, and give good and happiness to others? How is white magic a sin? White witches are not using another source to fulfill needs. They are using the power within in them, their soul, spirit, whatever you wanna call it. So, tell me now, after carefully reading this, is all magic sinful?
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This is a concern for a lot of people and I've even looked into it myself in the past. From my personal research and understanding, this has a lot to do with original meaning, intent and translation.
When the Bible mentions witchcraft, it is likely not the same thing as what we understand it as today. From my research, the scriptural reference would be applicable to what we today might call the practice of "black magic."
Now I don't know for sure what the answer is here but it seems to me that this makes sense.
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Q: I got a job at buffalo wild wings and they want me to come in tomorrow to do an observation shift. Please help me out on what I should wear. For both my interviews there I wore some nice jeans and a nice shirt with flats.
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First off, congratulations on your new job.
Knowing the nature of the workplace and given the info you have provided on how you dressed for the interviews, I think we can come to a few basic conclusions.
Since they hired you and apparently did not have a problem with the clothing you chose to wear to the interviews, if they did I assume they would have said something, it seems like a laid back sort of place. And while I've personally never been to one of their restaurants, I do know about them and understand the relaxed, casual setting and environment.
I think combined with the fact that they didn't give you any guidelines on how they would like you to dress, suggests to me that what you've been wearing so far is just fine. If it turns out that it isn’t, they will probably just politely let you know and you’ll be ready for the next day.
If you're still worried about it, just make a quick call to your manager and take out all the guess work.
Good luck at your new workplace.
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Q: I'm of shy nature, but I love making videos. I personally think I've got good ideas to entertain people with bad movie reviews, sketches, top 10, etc. The only thing is... I'm scared that people end up mocking me and/or dislike me.
I know you cannot be loved by everyone, but I'm scared I get more hate than appreciation. I really want to do this though, should I take a risk or being a liked youtuber is excessively hard?
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As a creative minded person myself, I commend your creativity and imagination. And the truth is, many of the most worthwhile things in our lives involve taking some kind of risk.
You clearly have a passion for this and I think you should go for it.
So you're worried about getting a lot of negative feedback huh. Well, the first thing you have to realize is that only you have the power to let that feedback affect you in any way. Other people may say it of write it but you can decide how you will respond.
Many of the best artists and film makers out there started off will lots of script rejections, bad reviews and negative feedback. If they didn't react the way they did in moving past it, imagine how many good films and works of art would never have been made at all.
All in all, what does it hurt to try? There's really nothing to lose.
Good luck.
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Q: *I apologize in advance for the long explanation and thank you for reading it.* Of course I'm a born again Christian, but I feel Like God hates me. Anybody may ask.
I was born into a loving family which only lasted for two years. It quickly turned into a disaster where one parent (a) abused the other (b). B refused to beat a. I always had to take my brother and hide.
At nine my grandparent died and the day before Christmas my uncle died. At ten my parents got a divorce and my sibling (c) went crazy, but I'd learned at this age to keep my feelings bottled in. At twelve, c got taken away and do I got another one (d) at thirteen.
I turned to friends online at fourteen but parent b didn't like it. By this point I've learned their bipolar. I thought I lost the doll my grandparent gave me (I kept it even though I got it at 4 because it was all I had to remember them by) but parent b threw it away when I was asleep because it was torn up and was on it's last legs.
At fifteen parent b got married and we moved in with my stepparent. Kids picked on me and called me ugly. I did things I'm not proud of to parent b, but I repented and apologize 100 times from the bottom of my heart, but they keep bringing it up even though they pulled my hair, called me ugly, and said I would never be able to keep a guy. I went into a group home to get away from them. At sixteen I came back.
I met boyfriend #3. Parent be kept saying he wouldn't last. It's the last thing you want a parent to say. Turns out he had a bf still and I was like his mistress.
At seventeen I moved in with my aunt because I couldn't take bipolar parent anymore. It only lasted two months. At eighteen. I moved in with parent a. That stepparent hated me too. Lied on me in many ways. I moved out.
Boyfriend #4 took my virginity without permission (we were foreplaying. Please don't call me stupid. I didn't know. Really.)
Etc.
I'm hoping even though parent b still hates me and parent a wants nothing wants nothing to do with me with all the bad past and all that boyfriend #5 will be a turn around for me, but because of my bad past and low self esteem (thanks parent b), etc., that this is my time to shine, but every time I think about it I believe God hates me. Please give me a reason why or why not he may hate me. Thanks. Sorry for the long explanation.
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First off, I am truly sorry to hear about the hard times and serious struggles you have faced in your life. No child, or adult of that matter, should have to go through such things.
To answer your main question first, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that God DOES NOT hate you. Given your situation, you may wonder why I am so confident about this. Actually, it's quite simple. God is love and as such does not and never will hate. Sadly, sometimes our religious leaders and institutions give mixed messages about this but the truth is the truth.
Think about it, while I think that all religions and types of spirituality have something to offer, I will approach this from a Christian basis. If God hated anyone at all, being that He knows all that has happened, is happening and every will happen, why would he even bother sending a savior?
The bottom line is God does love you, period.
Now, as far as your specific issues, I know about self esteem problems. The first thing you have to realize is that these things that are happening are not your fault. And the people you mistreat you are the ones who have the problem, not you.
I suggest finding yourself a good, positive mantra and repeating it to yourself whenever you feel down. There's also a great book called "Felling Good: The New Mood Therapy" which I highly recommend. Take time out of your day to learn and practice meditation, you'd be surprised how much this can help. And last but not least, don't be afraid to seek the help of a professional counselor or therapist. They can help you move on to a better place in your life.
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Q: I love my boyfriend more than anymore. I still live with my parents and he lives with his mother and neither of us can drive. Lately, due to money problems, I'm not able to see him much anymore, cause we can barely afford the bills and groceries. Since I can't afford to even go see him anymore, am I being selfish by staying in the relationship? I'm 21 and female.
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The short answer here is no, you are not being selfish. In fact, I would suggest that selfishness is quite the opposite of what you are being right now.
Have you discussed this with your boyfriend? If so, what are his thoughts? I assume he knows about the financial situation your family is facing and since he hasn't decided that the two of you should break up, he must be ok in dealing with things as they are at the moment.
True selfishness implies that you are doing something for your own benefit AND at the expense of or without any regard for others. You are not doing that here and thus you are not acting in a selfish way.
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Q: I am a 20 year old female. As the title sums it up, I really can't stop lying. I make up stories about almost anything and about the silliest things. sometimes I don't realize that I'm lying but now that I do I see how much it is affecting important aspects of my life. My relationship with my boyfriend is being jeopardized by this, and recently my lies have been catching up to me. I don't want to be this person, any advice on how to stop?
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On occasion, lying is acceptable and even necessary. For example when the people who hid Jewish families in their homes from the Nazis said that they where not hiding anyone, this was more than justified.
But in general, lies can become a serious problem. As you mention, you find yourself in a situation in which they seem to be catching up with you.
I would venture to guess that if you have the ability to come up with these stories about even the silliest of things, you must be a very creative person. With that being the case, perhaps you can try to channel that creativity into another outlet like writing short stories and fiction. Or if you're a movie fan, maybe even attempt to create you own film. Do you see what I'm getting at?
It seems pretty clear to me that you are a good person at heart. You really don't want to hurt anyone and that's why you are trying to change. I admire you for that.
While I do thing letting your creativity flow in a more productive way could be very helpful, it probably wouldn't hurt to consult a therapist or counselor on this matter as well. A lot of people are going through something similar to what you are facing and these people have the skills and knowledge for helping you overcome the problem.
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Q: God, I'm so stupid. I don't even know how to navigate this site. After I got an answer, I don't know what to click on to post another quetion. I just forwarded a question by accident to tech support. God, I'm SO STUPID. I SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO LIVE. (this was my next question): I know other people have problems and there are many injustices going on in the world, but I've tried everything. I'm 3 mos. behind in rent. My daughter was paying my rent but she cut me off without any notice and I just can't make it anymore. I'm on disability but only get $700 a month. I can barely live on that let alone get caught up. I've been diagnosed with agoraphobia, ptsd and bipolar 2. I have absolutely nobody in my life. I'm 48 and have no friends, no family, nothing to live for. I tried to kill myself about a mo ago. My son called the police and a bunch showed up at my door. They took me to a Crisis Clinic but I was there about an hour and no doctor or anybody came to talk to me so I left. I called a suicide hotline number and was put on hold everytime I called. I feel like God is telling me it's time to go. I've been literally pulling my hair out. My bathroom floor is covered in hair. I'm getting older and uglier. Nobody will ever want me.
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First off, I can only imagine the pain and suffering you are going through and truly feel for you. I'm also willing to bet other people feel the same way - like your son. Clearly he didn't want to see you commit suicide. And my guess as to why is that he loves you too much to see that happen.
So, let's look at that as a starting point, to help you realize that you do indeed have people out there who love you and care about you.
As far as navigating this site goes, I think you are being a bit too hard on yourself. Being that you are 48, I bet you probably didn’t grow up on technology like the kinds today. Heck, I'm only 34 and even I didn't really have any exposure to the Internet until I was out of high school.
Given the diagnosis you have, I guess that it is same to assume that you've seen your share of mental health professionals. However, doing so is probably hard for you considering the agoraphobia.
My suggestions would be to seek out groups or individuals who can help but don't necessarily require you to put yourself in an awkward or scary physical environment. For example, find some online support groups where you can meet people and gain some emotional support without ever having to do anything in person. Also, order the book, "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. I've recommended it several times for people who are depressed and have self-worth issues and will continue to do so because it works.
Did you know you can also have sessions with a therapist online? One good source is Liveperson.com.
Also, meditation can be a huge help. here's a good guide on getting started.http://health.howstuffworks.com/wellness/stress-management/how-to-get-started-with-meditation.htm
Hang in there.
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Q: I'm a 13 year old girl and I call everyone darling, love, honey, etc. They've gotten use to it, but I'll call strangers that too on accident and I get funny looks sometimes. Or if the person doesn't know me well they'll think I'm flirting. Is it ok? Should I try to stop doing this? It feels like I'm being old fashioned or something.
Side note: I talk funny, too. I say words like therefore, no slang, and grammar that's so proper it sounds weird ( because people have become so used to using abbreviations and contractions, whereas I don't use any of that (I don't use it when I speak anyway.) It sounds even weirder because I'm so young.
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Just because something is out of the ordinary or not conventional in no way means that it is wrong.
Sure, most 13 year old, or in today's world even most adults, don't often use proper English in their day to day lives. Some use cutesy sort of greetings but it's often a regional thing.
I'm not sure where you are from but I know that the greetings like "darling" and "honey" are extremely common with adults in the southern parts of the United States and I believe the use of the word "love" as a greeting is relatively common in the United Kingdom.
While some people might find it odd, others might find your speech interesting or refreshing. Personally, I would say it's part of what makes you uniquely you. And your individuality is something that your should celebrate.
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Q: How do I find this out?
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The nature of last names can be quite interesting. In many cases, they come from the type of job your ancestors used to do for a living. For example, "Smith" often has its roots in a person who was a blacksmith. The last name of "Carpenter" frequently relates to someone whose relates many have been wood workers. Of course, this isn’t always the case but it should give you a good idea.
Now, in the event that you last name really has little or nothing to do with a profession, there are some other ways to find out the origin and what it may mean.
One easy tool that can help can be found here: http://www.ask.com/question/what-does-my-last-name-mean .
Good luck and have fun in learning.
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Q: My mother is abusive. She hits me and calls me stupid and worthless. My father never stops her. I've moved away from my home twice. My grandma, one of the only people to ever make me feel appreciated is dead. My little sister is dead. I have suffered through attempted rape three times. My grandfather is an alcoholic who disowned my family and I haven't seen him or my grandma in years. I was ridiculed and called a slut my entire childhood even though I've never even had sex. A boy broke my heart after making me open up and be myself for the first time in years. I am completely broken. No one cares about me. I haven't felt anything in years. I am emotionless to avoid being broken again. My question is: Where do I even begin to go from here? Can I love again if I try really hard?
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First off, let me say that I am truly sorry for the things you have gone through. I can only imagine what you must be feeling.
That being said, you really can overcome this, even if it doesn't feel like it right now.
The first thing you have to realize is that none of this is your fault in any way. And while at times it may feel like no one cares about you, I can assure you that someone out there does. For example, even the fact that people respond to your question means that people who have never even met you care. How powerful of a thought is that?
One thing I would advise for sure is that you seek out the help of a professional counselor or therapist. They can help you with your emotional state and the PTSD.
Understand that you and only you have the power to determine how you feel. This is because you have the power to decide whether or not you will let others dictate how you feel. Just because your family is screwed up doesn't mean you have to be.
You are clearly a survivor and as such you can get past this.
As far as the boy who broke your heart and where you can begin from here. Just know that this is a natural part of life, it happens to all of us at one time or another. Use the situation to make yourself stronger. After all, you cannot love somebody without making yourself somewhat vulnerable.
So yes, you can love again. Just don't rush into anything and let it happen, you'll get there.
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Q: What are some popular books I should read? I like to read, but I am bad at picking good books. LOL! Can you tell me titles you loved, or what you have been dying to read next? Thank you.
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Well, there are so many books out there perhaps we should break it down a bit.
The first things I would do is figure out is your personal interests. For example, if you have no interest whatsoever in History, a biography of an old president or historical thriller will likely bore you a bit.
While you can easily break down the types of books into two broad categories - Fiction and Non-Fiction, we can delve into this even deeper with more targeted genres.
Fiction (stories not based on reality)
Some sub-genres and suggestions:
Science Fiction/Fantasy -
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=lp_283155_nr_n_25?rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A%211000%2Cn%3A25&bbn=1000&ie=UTF8&qid=1394985251&rnid=1000
Mystery/Thriller/Suspense -
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=lp_283155_nr_n_19?rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A%211000%2Cn%3A18&bbn=1000&ie=UTF8&qid=1394985251&rnid=1000
Romance -
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=lp_283155_nr_n_23?rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A%211000%2Cn%3A23&bbn=1000&ie=UTF8&qid=1394985251&rnid=1000
Non-Fiction (stories based on reality)
Some sub-genres and suggestions:
Biographies/Auto-Biographies -
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=lp_283155_nr_n_1?rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A%211000%2Cn%3A2&bbn=1000&ie=UTF8&qid=1394985251&rnid=1000
Art and Photography -
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=lp_283155_nr_n_0?rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A%211000%2Cn%3A1&bbn=1000&ie=UTF8&qid=1394985141&rnid=1000
Self-help -
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=lp_283155_nr_n_26?rh=n%3A283155%2Cn%3A%211000%2Cn%3A4736&bbn=1000&ie=UTF8&qid=1394985218&rnid=1000
Poetry is its own animal if you will, which is one of my personal favorite options.
Some popular books of poetry include:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=sr_kk_2?rh=i%3Astripbooks%2Ck%3Apoetry+books&keywords=poetry+books&ie=UTF8&qid=1394985495
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Q: Hi! I am worried about my toddler seeming to be small for her age. Is there like, an average or something? Any way to compare my baby to other childrens growth? You know, like they have BMI for grownups is there something like that for little ones?
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For more than a decade, I worked with and around children at a child care center. One of the things I learned while there was that all children are different and thus all of them grow and develop, physically and otherwise, at their own pace.
Sure there are growth measurement systems out there but as you allude to in your question, these are based on averages and thus are not always the best indicators.
If you think your child is a bit on the small side for her age, you can always mention this concern to your pediatrician. However, if the doctor doesn't seem to have shown any concern to you on this issue, I would venture to guess that he or she does not see your child's height as out of the ordinary or a major concern.
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Q: I've been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan a couple of times. And sence about 2007 or so I've had a lot of issues with people and life in general. I can't sleep, I go days up to a week at a time without sleep. I've been seen by docs a lot for issues. I've been on more medications then I can remember. Nothing seems to really help. I've set in councilors for hours. I feel like it's just really to annoying to go back to the docs. I can't stand being around people, and anytime someone says something to me all I want to do is stab them. This makes work difficult. If I close my eyes and try to sleep I wake up in about an hour and feel like I'm back on patrol or on fire, or that I'm about to die any second again. So then I can't go back to sleep. I've seen a lot of lives end in seconds, and have almost lost my own on a couple times. I wonder why I'm here everyday. It's just getting to be to much to deal with and I don't know what to do anymore. All I wanted to do the every time I deployed was hurry back home, but I noticed each time I went the less I wanted to come back. And I really don't want to be here right now either. Is this ever going to fix itself or am I just slowly getting crazier?
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This surely sounds like PTSD with the possibility of other issues factoring in as well.
You mentioned seeing a number of doctors and taking several medications but I didn't notice you mentioning involvement in any type of support group. The fact that you can use such groups to find some people to lean on that have been in a similar situation can be amazingly helpful.
I don't know if you are religious or not but taking some time out to pray about it could help. Another more mental option is to invest some time in learning how to meditate. Studies have proven this can alleviate stress and help relax the body in many ways.
I really admire the fact that you are admitting to these issues rather than bottling them up inside, which can literally and figuratively destroy a person.
The truth is, what you have been though and seen is so extreme that in order to come to terms with it and move on in a productive and healthy manner, the process is surely not a quick fix. And I doubt anyone can tell you with any real idea how long it might take for you to "recover" if you will. But hold out hope, take steps like the ones above to keep moving toward your goal and as the famous college basketball coach Jim Valvano once said, "Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.”
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Q: Im really akward because im shy when it comes to not knowing what to do or not feeling confident enough to do or say something. I always stay on the down low or cover up and become someone im not and can never be myself because i fear what others will think or say bout me bacause i honestly am pretty weird but i dont want to have to change myself for others. (which i will do sometimes) i wasnt always this low and self concious. i loved myself and every aspect about me up until now and i dont know why i feel this way. i havent done anything wrong. ive olny dated once and the most we did was hug and hold hands and it only went on for two months.I was an amazing A student before this happened as well. and i have a very guilty conscience so i never did anything real bad. sometimes i think im pretty but when most of the time i feel absolutely hideous. Can someone please explain to me why i feel this way or how i can get rid of this problem? ive gone to just about everyone i could ask but know one listend and thought i was craxy or something. im 15 years old and im a girl. thanks
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First off, I'd like to say that I feel for you. At times I have gone through similar issues myself and would never wish such a thing on anyone. But with that being said, you can, and I'm confident that you will, get though this.
So you're 15, well at that age, there are a lot of awkward things happening. Assuming you're in high school, that can be rough. But as you say, you don't want to change for others. And the truth is, you shouldn't have to.
Clearly you have self-esteem issues and that's the basis of the problem in my opinion. While you aren't sure how you ended up with them, it's a good chance that somewhere along the line you began to let others dictate how you feel about yourself. In reality, only you control how you feel and how you respond to the opinions of others. I've recommended this several times before but I suggest you check out a book called "Feeling Good" by Dr. David Burns. This should give you some deeper insight.
As far as the dating thing goes, you're young and have lots of time for that sort of thing, don't stress over it. Worry doesn't help anything anyway.
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Q: Hey there! Etsy isn't what it used to be, at least for me, so I wanted to ask any of you here who are crafty persons and don't like all the commercial stuff on that site if you knew of any similar sites where you can buy handmade items like it used to be?
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Well, there are a few. The closest on to what you might be looking for is a site called Artfire - www.artfire.com. I personally know a person that has used it and liked it very much.
Depending upon your exact needs and wants, there might be a few other options.
1. Ebay - Of course the rates they charge for selling can be discouraging and artsy, handmade items aren't their priority.
2. Fiverr - If you selling you items for a very low cost, www.fiverr.com might be an option. It's easy to use and has a lot of supporters.
3. Deviant Art - While this one at www.deviantart.com offers a lot of digital products and art, it's pretty open to anything creative.
Hopefully that helps you.
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Info
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Member Since: September 29, 2013 Answers: 200 Last Update: December 6, 2015 Visitors: 9814
Favorite Columnists
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