Hello, call me Abby =] I'm eighteen and a senior in high school this year. I've always had great advice, I'm just not so great at following it =P Feel free to ask me anything, I'll do my best to give you an answer.
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Member Since: February 10, 2007
Answers: 962
Last Update: May 3, 2012
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Ok so im 13 and i have been tlking to this kid for like a couple months and he asked me if i would ever give him a lap dance? And i would like to but i dont wanna be a slut or be called a whore and i cant like talk to my bestfriends because they would think im a ehore and tell like their mom or somtin and my mom would never trust me or i dont know what she would say.. Im scared to find out what she would say she would never respect me!!! Ever and im scared i dont know what to do i want to do it but i dont want to be a slut and he said if i would let him feel me up and i would but like should i!!! Help me... I dont know (link)
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Do you know how far I went with a boy at 13? No where! I didn't have my first kiss til I was 16!
I seem like a late bloomer, but to be honest I'm glad I waited. Girls who let boys do stuff to them at such a young age often end up with problems when they get older.
At 13, you aren't even fully developed yet. Your body isn't ready to do all the sexual things. This is a good thing, because you have the rest of your life to do that! There is no rush!
Don't EVER let a guy pressure you into doing things. It has to 100% be your choice. If he says he'll break up with you if you don't have sex, or give a lap dance as you said, then he's a jerk. He's immature and needs to grow up before being with a girl.
Lap dances are usually done by exotic dancers, strippers, or prostitutes. Do you want to categorize yourself with them at the young age of 13?
I think you should wait until you are older to do anything with a boy besides kissing. No one regrets WAITING to have sex, but a lot of people regret having sex too early.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I am a 15 year old girl.
I have bright colored red hair and blue eyes and i just was curious to know how most men feel about redheads. Just because sometimes i get insecure about how i look, which i guess happens to most women even if their good at hiding it. I am 5'8", i weigh 112 lbs last time i checked, but its not like im so skinny i look sick. I think i have a nice body and pretty face, but im just not sure how guys feel about my hair. Ive gotten insults and compliments, but the compliments are most of the time from people much older than me. Sooo i was just curious, please give your opinion on red hair and blue eyes on a girl. :) (link)
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Honestly, guys just see 'attractive' and not the specifics of your appearance. It's just like how you might have a type of guy you like (maybe you're into blue eyes and blonde hair) but that doesn't mean you don't find other guys attractive too.
You might be one guys type, you never know. Since having red hair is rare, it deffinitely makes you unique and lets you stand out. That can give you an advantage!
If a guy won't date you JUST because you have red hair, then he's an idiot.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Hi! In 2012, my friend and I are going to go to London for an anime convention and we're doing our planning now, the best we can anyway. We calculated the hotel cost as well as the convention cost, but we're having trouble finding how much the plane tickets would cost. All the sites I went to are extremely confusing... Or is it not possible to find how much the plane ticket would cost in July of 2012? We plan to stay for a week too... Are there any sites that give just the price? Or have updates to tell us when the price changes? (link)
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Most airlines probably don't have flights scheduled that far in advance, so you are going to have to wait for the price. The earlier you buy the tickets usually they are cheaper, so wait for it to turn 2012 and then see if any tickets are available.
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Im 12, and my boyfriend is 14, hes has sex before, and for a while ive been thinkin about it.! everyone says its worth it, just to get it over with, But im not sure, I mean ive done things, but im not sure about sex ive done everything other than sex, but i dont wanna upset my boyfriend..what shood i do?x ]
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You are only 12! You should absolutely not being having sex right now. You aren't even fully developed at your age.
I didn't have sex until I was 17, when I felt ready. I was educated in school about protection and I have a feeling you haven't even had sexual education classes yet.
If your boyfriend pushes you to have sex, that means he doesn't really care about you. If he did, he would wait until you were ready. Don't ever do something because you are afraid a guy won't like or or won't date you. You have to live your life to make yourself happy, not some guy!
You will have other boyfriends then this kid, and how will you feel if you can't give the one man you really do care about your virginity because you were pressured into doing it?
You should talk to an older person you respect, like your mom, a teacher, etc. If you are too embarrassed, that probably means you aren't mature enough for sex. With sex comes responsibility, and you have to be able to communicate what you need. You can't be afraid to buy condoms or talk to someone about it.
I would really think about this hard before you do anything. No one regrets waiting to have sex, but many people regret having it too soon.
-Abby
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Hey guys i'm a 20 yr old female and i have really dry skin on my face. I recently started to try using a moisturizer and I've used the clean and clear advanced acne control moisturizer. I dont feel like it's working i feel like it's gotten worse to be honest. I felt like it worked somewhat at first then just stopped. Do you have any suggestions on what i should try next? I'm looking to spend less than $15 Anyways thanks for the advice you're help is very much appreciated!!!! I rate :) (link)
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I use Eucerin spf 30 moisturizer, which is nice because it has really good sun protection, but I don't know how much it would help super dry skin.
My boyfriend uses Goldbond moisturizer on his face when he goes snowboarding because he gets really bad windburn, and Goldbond really helps. You can get it at Walmart, and it's pretty inexpensive.
http://www.goldbondultimate.com/
I use Cetaphil on my body, and it's a nice, non-fragrance or any fuss kind of lotion. It won't cause irritation and it does a nice job. I haven't used their face lotion, but I'm sure it is great.
If you want to go a little more expensive, you can try Ulta or Sephora. Benefit just came out with a new skincare line, and they usually have some fantastic products so it might be worth a try.
http://search.ulta.com/nav/marketing/benefitwk8/0
Philosophy is a brand I've heard rave reviews about, but I've never tried it because it's on the expensive side. Hope in a Jar is their cult product, and they have a travel size you can get for $15 and see if you love it before spending more money on the regular size.
http://search.ulta.com/nav/brand/philosophy/0
I've heard great things about Aveeno, Eucerin, Juergens, and St. Ives. Try things out and look for words like deep conditioning, hydrating, 24 hour hydration, shea butter, cocoa butter, and for sensitive dry skin.
Good luck,
-Abby
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To quickly summarize, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months. We live together and we're in our early twenties. I take care of him constantly, and help organize him as he has ADHD, and effectively play his therapist, and have to accept it when he prioritizes other things over my needs. I love him very much, and do not doubt how much he loves me, but certainly he is immature, and can be selfish. But thats not the point of my question. My birthday is on Saturday, we've been planning it and talking about it for weeks. He already gave me my present - he made a bench to store shoes under (he really wanted one. I expressed no interest in one, but maybe he thinks I wanted one too) so I have shown appreciation for that. He kept talking about planning the day for us, and I have a dinner set up with friends and him in the evening. He informs me yesterday, 3 days before my birthday that he hasnt gotten it taken care of at work after all and that he'll probably be working 1-9 on my birthday. I personally believe, as its a job like any other, that he could have switched shifts or gotten it off with relative ease, but clearly has not prioritized doing so. Also, he gets irritated if I show that I'm sad about it. He also wants to spend the rest of the week in on his computer, so I suppose we wont be celebrating any other day either. Am I allowed to feel as I do? After everything hes put me through lately I at least needed him to show some interest in making my birthday special... :( (link)
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You absolutely have the right to feel sad.
ADHD is a challenge, sure, but it doesn't effect a persons ability to show compassion and care for someone. He is being careless, and not listening to your feelings at all. It sounds like you are giving the relationship all of your effort and he isn't giving enough of his.
I would sit him down and have a talk with him. Turn the music, computer, and tv off and stare him in the eyes. Tell him that it HURTS you that he hasn't made an effort to make your birthday special. Let him know that the best gift would be to spend the day with him, and he isn't trying.
Express exactly how you feel, and tell him that CHANGE is the only way this relationship will work. If he doesn't make an effort, you won't either.
You say you act as his therapist. I don't think this is a smart move. If he isn't getting all the medical attention he needs (is he on drugs for his ADHD?) then your help won't solve everything, it will just put you in deeper. He can't lean on you, he has to stand on his own two feet.
Don't let love blind you to his problems. You can help him become independent and a caring partner, but you can't force him to do it.
Good luck,
-Abby
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So I've been with this new guy for a few months now, about 4 really, we are both 19, and hes the sweetest guy I've ever dated. He treats me amazing! I am really falling in love with him I already do love him as a person because he is just so amazing and admirable and a genuinely nice person (you don't find many out there), he told me he loved me the other day and he always tells me how amazing I am and beautiful, etc etc. Everything is going wonderful, except he has a small problem. The first four times we tried having sex, he came prematurely. Within the first 3 to 5 minutes. This frustrated him, because he said he never had this problem before. Thing is before I met him, he used to be very much overweight, and he has lost all of it the year before I met him. He is extremely skinny and has gained a lot of muscle instead. He looks very good now. For some reason though, he couldn't last. He also said he never masturbated because when he was losing all that weight, working out replaced masturbation. He hadn't done it in over 7 months.
Then, one night we came home after both having been drinking, and he lasted a veryyy long time, which made me think, okay, hes over the nerves that may have caused him to do that the first few times, and now it will be fine. After that he lasted a decent amount for a few times. Recently though, he's starting to get this problem again, and its becoming a serious issue because of how upset its making him. He isnt able to last for more than 5 to 10 minutes maximum, sometimes less than that. He gets extremely sad and frustrated and sex is not even enjoyable for him, and in turn me. I reassure him it's okay all the time but of course, him being a guy, hes not going to believe me. I keep telling him that we need to do it more and more to practice and hes going to get better at it, but hes convinced he has a problem. The other night, I was going to tell him that I was there for him and we'd work through it together and when I said "I want to tell you..." he interrupted me in a sad voice and said "that my penis is useless..." I was in such shock I'd never heard him say something so detrimental to himself before and of course I corrected him and assured him but he kept saying "don't keep trying to say its okay, it's not okay"
I don't really know what to do, I told him maybe he can go to the doctor or something but he said he doesn't know what the doctor can do really. And I really don't know what to say to him to make him feel any better about it because this is a sensitive issue for guys. He keeps saying he wants to make me happy and I keep telling him he does, all the time. But he still feels shitty about it. What can I do, or what can he do, so we can fix this problem? (link)
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I'm glad you have found a sweet guy who you care about enough to try to help him.
It sounds like your guy is insecure. This is totally expected, as MANY people who are overweight feel insecure even after losing the weight. They still feel like the heavy person they used to be.
Now he has a new girlfriend that he really likes, and all he wants to do is impress you. I'm sure he didn't have a lot of sex when he was heavy, and now he just wants to be his best.
This may just be a psychological problem that he needs to get over. With some time, practice, and reassurance, he can overcome it.
You need to stress to him that you do enjoy having sex with him (even if it could be better) and simply just being with him. Tell him sex is not the important part of the relationship, and you would be with him even if you couldn't have sex.
Make him feel really sexy and confident. Come on to him and whisper things to him like 'You're so sexy', 'I want you so bad right now' etc. Do foreplay to get him in the mood. Perhaps before you actually have sex you could give him oral sex and make him come. I've heard that guys last longer when they masturbate before sex, so maybe that is something you could do a few hours before sex? Just an idea.
I think you should just give it more time and let it improve naturally. Open communication is key. Don't let him silently feel horrible about this.
If more time goes by and there are no improvements, maybe he should visit a doctor. There are things like Viagra out there for a reason!
If you two can work through this together, then it will be worth it in the end.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I have already pretty much decided which classes I'm going to take next year (I'll be a junior), but I just can't get over that guilty feeling of not deciding to take Spanish 2 next year. I'm currently taking Spanish 1, but I've decided not to next year. Instead, I've decided to take psychology one semester, and sociology the other semester. The thing is, I'm not sure whether or not it would be the best choice. I know that have 2 years of a foreign language is recommended, and is also good for colleges and for getting jobs. It's just something I don't want to do that. It just makes me mad thinking that I HAVE to do this or that to please colleges and stuff. I want to do whatever I am interested in, but I can't even speak my own language, so I can't help to think that Spanish would be good for me. If I don't take Spanish 2, I also think about things like what if I'm not offered very many opportunities, even with good grades and everything? What are your guys' opinions? (link)
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Some colleges REQUIRE 2 years of a language. So look at your top colleges and see what their requirements are before deciding.
I took Spanish 1, 2, and 3 in high school. It wasn't a joy ride, but was pretty easy and looked good for colleges. Spanish 2 wasn't bad at all.
If you do well in Spanish, then absolutely take it. It isn't that difficult of a class and it will help you in college, where they also require you to take a language.
If you do poorly and it's going to bring your GPA down, then pick another elective.
Aside from that, relax and enjoy the classes you pick. I'm a senior right now with only a month left of school and looking back, the classes I took were not so important. Enjoy the time you have! It goes by way too fast.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Hi im a 15 year old female and sometimes I feel like I want to be in a relationship. Then, days later I want to just be single. I'm currently still single but sometimes I want to be in a relationship but I do not want to get in a relationship then want to be a single again and vice-versa . so what should I do? (link)
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We all like to think about what it would be like if we were on the other side of something. As a taken girl, I wonder if I would have more fun if I was free to meet other guys. Then again, I also love the security of a relationship.
The reason I stay in the relationship is because of my boyfriend, and the feelings I have for him. I'm not in a relationship just to be in a relationship, I do it because I care about him and like being with him.
Enjoy being single, and when the time comes, you will find a person who you enjoy being with and you will want to have a relationship with them. Theres no need to rush to find this, you will know when it feels right.
Good luck,
-Abby
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So last year I moved into an apartment with my gf. (im a girl by the way im bi) well of course my mom didnt approve of it and got mad/upset when i moved. i am also her only child. well my gf had trouble finding a job with the way times are now so we was struggling which lead to some problems. my mom kept telling me things and makin me feel bad which i moved back home. now i regret it me and my gf are still together but my mom or none of my family knows again. yes we had fights cuz of stress and my mom, but i hate living back at home with my mom and wanna get a place with my gf again what do i do? (link)
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All you can do is just try to get a good job and save money. For now, just be happy you can live with your mom.
You don't have to mix your personal and family life if you don't want to. If it makes things to complicated right now, then don't bring up your relationship to your mom. You are young, just try to enjoy it while you can and keep things simple.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I am going to the beach soon with my mom and her friend. my gf seems to be upset because if i dont call her text her she gets mad. i am not doing nothing wrong but cant keep my phone on me non stop. how can i get her to be ok with this? (link)
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Just tell her whats going on before hand. Let her know that you won't be able to talk all day, but you'll make an effort to talk to her whenever possible. Call/text her in the morning and tell her what your doing for the day, and let her know when to expect your next call. At least try to say good morning and goodnight. She isn't trying to be annoying, she just misses you.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I am 17 years old and all new to this sex world. i would like to know what "i'm going to eat you out" means. (link)
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'Eating out' is oral sex performed on a girl. That means your partner will use his/her mouth and tongue to pleasure your vagina. This can be licking, sucking, etc.
-Abby
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Would you consider a sixteen year old girl that is 5'6 and 110 pounds to be "small"?? Because I'm often told that I am "tiny" which, I am quite thing and I have little feet and hands but I feel like I'm taller than average...? Am I? (link)
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There is a difference between skinny and petite.
Being petite, or small, means you are 5'3 or under and have smaller proportions.
5'6 is a tad taller then the average girl, but not outrageous or anything. At 110 lbs, you are considered thin. When people call you tiny they mean you are thin, or have a tiny waist, etc.
Tall and thin girls are usually the model types, so enjoy your body! I'm sure you're beautiful.
-Abby
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I need a black blouse with some bright yellow on it that will look semi-formal. I wish to perform in the school talent show and am wearing a yellow skirt with black waistband and black design, and a pair of black leggings. Where can I buy a shirt to match that's around $30? I am open to suggestions and will be VERY happy if you include a link to the site I can buy it on. Thank You for your help!!!! (link)
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Since your skirt sounds like it has some print and is bright on it's own, I don't think you want a shirt that is complicated or flashy. Let the skirt be the focal point and wear a simple shirt. I suggest a black shirt that has something special about it, like one shoulder or a rosette, or maybe ruffles.
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=top%5Fdressy&product%5Fid=2058635195&Page=all&pgcount=25
Lace has been really big this year, so you could try something like this that will definitely spice up your outfit. Just wear a black tank underneath, and maybe ditch the leggings to your skirt, unless it is too short without them.
http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=top%5Fdressy&product%5Fid=2000001193&Page=all&pgcount=25
This top will add texture to your look without being too busy in combination with the skirt.
You could also do a simple black v-neck t shirt if all else fails.
Good luck,
-Abby
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ok i was just wondering if it would be possible 4 me to go into an amish town for a week over the summer. is it possible that the amish would let me stay with them? im really interested in the amish way of life and i just want 2 know if they just might take me for a week or so. i really wanna learn more about this culture (and get away from my parents 4 a while he he) and i figure the best way for me 2 do that is if i stay with them for a while. if this isnt possible, please state the reason. also, if i ever went to one of these settlements,what should i wear as far as clothing and possibly makeup if any is allowed? thanks so much! (link)
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I'm sure you could arrange this. There may be camps or trips where the amish open their homes to teens to visit and stay, I would check online (I'm assuming it would be run through a camp service).
If that doesn't bring you any luck, you could take a day tour (usually you can just drive to the town and they have tours of their farms open) and maybe you can get friendly with a family and see if they would be willing to host you.
I've actually been very interested in spending time with the amish and I would love to host an amish teen, so let me know if this works out for you!
Good luck,
-Abby
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my dad always looks at me... look at all the things i do, from the very single move i make(in a not friendly but scary way, it's a very weird look, i can't explain it). he always tells me what is the right process or what is the right thing to do (he even repeats it the next day and the next day and the next day like i did not get what he said at the past days, when i'm doing it already the way he wanted it to be) ... when i know i'm doing the right thing... he fucking pisses me off. once a mistake is done he's just fucking disappointed at me like the "...what have you done..." a little mistake is a big deal to him.
i just know, i have my own feet, i have my own bones. and i got my own brains...what's the use of these if he keeps controlling me??
he's annoying
i'm from philippines and i'm 17 now, turning 18 on july (link)
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You aren't alone, my friend.
I find that A LOT of men, once they hit their 40's and 50's, become control freaks. Everything has to be done in a certain way, or it's wrong. It even makes them crazy if it's not done the way they like. I honestly don't know what causes it, I just think they get crankier with age.
All you can really do is talk to your dad. Tell him that you are getting older, and you appreciate his advice, but the only way you will learn is by doing things yourself.
And also learn to choose your battles. If he wants to nitpick about little things, like the way you clean your room or something not too important, try to let it go. It's the bigger things that need your effort, like deciding where you go to college, what your job will be, etc.
If you can be understanding of his wishes, then he is more likely to be understanding to you.
Good luck,
-Abby
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I have worn my hair down and in a middle part for many years, but recently started parting it on my right or wearing it a ponytail frequently.
However, now I want to change my hairstyle so its a part on my lift side, but I also want it to be sort of a middle part.
This is an image of exactly the kind of hairstyle I would like on Karen, but I have brown hair.
http://tinypic.com/r/2uep2xx/7
How can I get my hair like this (while not dying it blonde of course!), but how from the part to the way it is styled?
Thanks (link)
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This style isn't hard to achieve, but you have to have her haircut.
She has a simple side part, and use a brush/comb to give the front piece a little volume so it isn't flat against your head.
She has some chin length pieces, as well as long layers. Maybe you can take that picture to your hair stylist.
Good luck,
-Abby
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There's a couple of authors that I'm dying to meet, even if it's just a glimpse and a book signing, but I have nooo idea where to start looking for them and where they might be having their book signings, so is there any special sites that give this kind of information?
The authors I'm interested are Darren Shan, Rick Riordan, and Heather Brewer, by the way :) (link)
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I would go on their personal websites, and there should be something about book signings or bookstore visits. Perhaps they will be stopping by in your area.
There will probably be a 'contact me' type of page. You can try that, but you would probably be going through a manager, assistant, etc. If you write a letter or an email they will probably get back to you, just give it some time.
Good luck,
-Abby
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Hey so I know my boyfriend likes being on top (during sex) and he knows I hate being on top yet whenever we have sex he refuses to be on top. He says he's too strong and I'm too small an he'll "go too hard" and hurt me. Would it actually hurt...? I'm 5'5 110lbs and he's 6'2 185. How can I show him I can "handle" it? Haha (link)
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He's not going to hurt you, it just sounds like he likes it better when your on top.
He can go as 'hard' on bottom or on top or in just about any position.
Refuse to get on top and see what happens. You'll enjoy it!
-Abby
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I am turning sixteen on Friday. I'm very excited, but I am also afraid. I feel so unprepared. I feel like everyone will expect more from me and I won't be what they want. I feel like I'm missing out on life. I feel like I won't live up to what I want.
I feel like I haven't developed the mind set and experience to become sixteen. I feel like I'm stupid sometimes because I don't have the attitude to be sixteen. My mom complains how I lack in attitude and skill. She complains that I am so scared of everything and unwilling to take risks. Sometimes I feel like she's right.
Is the mixed feeling of sixteen normal at this age or am I just over thinking? (link)
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I just turned 18, and I felt like all of a sudden I should be more mature and more responsible.
Turns out no one really treats you differently at 18. When it comes to age, it's more about the experiences you have had then the actual number. Being 18 doesn't automatically made me ready to live on my own. I'm still dependent on my parents and I have a long way to go.
You can grow up on your own time. As long as you keep up with your school work and other responsibilities, you are doing alright. Maybe get a part time job to learn more skills. Take steps when you are ready, but don't let fear hold you back.
If you want something, and it's in reach, then go for it. Do yourself a favor and take one risk and see what happens.
For me 16 didn't change much of anything except I was able to drive. Your parents will always expect the best from you, no matter what age.
Good luck,
-Abby
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