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second time mom dont like
So last year I moved into an apartment with my gf. (im a girl by the way im bi) well of course my mom didnt approve of it and got mad/upset when i moved. i am also her only child. well my gf had trouble finding a job with the way times are now so we was struggling which lead to some problems. my mom kept telling me things and makin me feel bad which i moved back home. now i regret it me and my gf are still together but my mom or none of my family knows again. yes we had fights cuz of stress and my mom, but i hate living back at home with my mom and wanna get a place with my gf again what do i do?
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As a mom who watched her daughter's father walk out of her life just because she is bi and has not talked to her in over I year. This has really upset my daughter and has effected her life in a really bad way. I realize you say you mother doesn't approve however she is still talking to you. I know she is making things hard for you but she is suppling you with a roof over you head for now. I suggest you stay there until you can save up enough money to be able to support yourselves and then be honest with your family and friends and gently let them know it is your life and you will be with whom ever you choose and they will have to compromise if they still want you in their life. Good Luck
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Hi, I'm probably old enough to be your grandfather. I hope the wisdom that comes with age and life experience will be helpful to you.
I could be wrong, but I am not sure mom truly understands what being bi is. Either that or she believes that being bi and living with your girlfriend will turn you into a lesbian. Frankly speaking, this is none of her concern, this is your life.
That being said you should know my views on sex and sexuality are not what would be main stream for my age group. I am quite liberal in my views. Being bi, I believe is a choice. Being gay or lesbian can be a choice but is more of a way a person is wired sexually. I wish I could say that better but have yet to find a better way. I think in a way we all live in glass houses and should not throw stones. Condemning others for that which we do not understand is not what are freedoms are about.
In your particular instance compounding the situation is you are an only child. Your mother, possibly not understanding, wants what she feels is best for you. What she feels is best is a heterosexual life with a man and children. The life she has had.
Do you eventually see being with a man and having children in a home with the white picket fence? If so would this be something you would share with your mother.
You need to lessen the stress both at home and between you and you girlfriend. To me this means talking with your mother and hopefully making her understand.
I believe the way you should start is by telling her you love her and that you are not trying to hurt her. From there you go onto explain to her that you are an adult now and as an adult you should be free to make your own way and choices in life, this includes your sexuality and sex life.
The hardest part of telling your mom what needs to be said is explaining the joy and comfort you get from being able to derive comfort and enjoyment from both sexes. If you eventually plan to marry a man and have children she may find confusing as to how a future husband will view your sexuality. These are the things that may require a discussion with her to lower the stress.
As a parent I have no reason to know or desire any knowledge about my children's sex life, no parent should. I'm just happy they have one. In your situation you need to decide if you want to open your bedroom door some to your mother in order to lower the stress between you. You have every right to say mom this is my life and leave it at that. The choice is yours.
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All you can do is just try to get a good job and save money. For now, just be happy you can live with your mom.
You don't have to mix your personal and family life if you don't want to. If it makes things to complicated right now, then don't bring up your relationship to your mom. You are young, just try to enjoy it while you can and keep things simple.
Good luck,
-Abby
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