A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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has anyone used any of the hydroxycut products?
what was your opinion on them? (link)
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All the negative side effects of being on uppers with none of the fun.
Hydroxycut doesn't really work that well, specifically because its such an ineffective form. Taking those is akin to snorting really weak cocaine. It has similar speedy effects without the high associated with other stimulants (which is why its legal)
I've used it. It does speed up your metabolism a little bit, but not enough to make a huge difference. Similarly, if you aren't sitting still trying not to throw up because of the nausea, you will have slightly more energy.
And as soon as you stop taking them, unless you change your habits alot you will put the weight right back on.
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Hey it's me with the Xbox 360 problem. I bought my console at around November 2007 and read online that Microsoft extended their warranty to 3 years. That true? If so, am I still able to get a replacement if I get it to 3 Red Rings? Since really it hasn't been fully 3 years for me when I got my console.
(link)
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Hmmm.
I would call Microsoft. I just looked up what you asked, and you're right. They're applying the three year warranty to all consoles across the world. I don't know if the policy is currently in effect, but if it isn't it will be soon.
Give their customer service a call, and explain your problem with the system. I found this
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/907533
Its an article saying basically that you're on your way to the red ring of death.
One thing you might want to consider, since the warrantly has most definitely been extended, keep it for now. The press release I found (shown here http://support.xbox.com/support/en/us/xbox360/hardware/warranty/warrantyfaq/WarrantyCoverageFAQ.aspx) says that you have three years which means November 2010 for you.
But you want to wait for another reason. You want to ask microsoft about this
http://www.afterdawn.com/news/archive/10091.cfm
You want this. Ask Microsoft support if they are upgrading the heat sinks, tell them you read an article about them upgrading cooling systems so that new consoles don't overheat, and you want your replacement system to have this.
So, basically you've got some time to spend on hold with microsoft. Get to it, you might well spend a few hours on the phone.
One last tip. Agents on the phone are trained to say no when they don't know the answer to something, to make things easier for microsoft.
Write down the time you called and the agent's name every time you talk to someone. If anyone says "No, you can't do that" ask to speak to a supervisor. If they're stupid enough to not let you, hang up immediately, call back, and ask for a supervisor as soon as you get a live person on the phone. Give the supervisor the agent's name, explain the situation on the phone, and then explain your own situation with the x box.
If anyone tells you no (sometimes they do, because theyre idiots) ask to speak to someone higher up. It works, don't take no for an answer, because somewhere in the call center is someone who CAN make concessions, you just might not be talking to that person. When in doubt, go higher in the food chain. Eventually someone will say yes, if only because you were persistent enough to get that high.
To give you a comparison, I worked at a call center as an agent, I could forgive 50 bucks in debt. The site director could forgive 5 grand.
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My xbox 360 got a 2 Red Light warning thing and found out it was due to overheating. I unplugged everything and let it cool for a day. After that, I turned it on and after 6 minutes it shows the same two red lights. I also touched the back and noticed it got warm pretty quickly. Is there a way to fix this? I searched all over the net and got stuff like send it to microsoft and they'll repair it for you but also read that it won't stop the problem completely, it just fixes your xbox a bit and then later on it will get 2 red lights again. Another one said you could repair yourself, I might wanna do that but I need detailed instructions on how. I Searched the net how and got all these advertisements on how to fix your 360 with this manual and video which costs like 40 dollars. I think I've seen somewhere the xbox 360 has a cooling device accessory? Will that do any good? (link)
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Don't try to fix it yourself. The issue with the heat is that it warps your motherboard. You can't fix that short of replacing the motherboard.
Currently, its damaged.
So, heres what I recommend.
If you are within warranty, leave your x box online all night. It WILL overheat and likely get the red rings of death.
Call microsoft, and arrange to have it sent in for replacement.
Once you get the new x box, consider investing in this
http://www.amazon.com/Cooling-System-Storage-Universal-Remote/dp/B000HNLJ1Y
Its a fan cooling system, completely external so it will not void your warranty in any way. It will help disburse heat and keep your system cooled during extended play. For the thirty or forty bucks it costs, its well worth the investment. I have a friend who basically built one of these for himself, he used a case fan cooling system he built himself that attached to the back, and his replacement x box (had to get his first replaced, he got one on release day) is still going strong.
If you are no longer under warranty, then I can't advise you to purposefully let it overheat, because I cannot guarantee you will get it replaced. Its sad. I still have the first gamecube I ever bought (its coming up on like 6 years old I think) and it still runs like a dream. Companies just like designing things to fail, and the massive amount of failures tells us that microsoft indeed designed their system to eventually overheat and destroy itself.
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okay so my boyfriend is a marine and we've been going out for almost 2 years. he is being deployed soon out to afganistan. but i can still send him stuff for his birthday and the holidays. besides the fact i dont know what to buy a guy in general, i dont know what to get him that would last over sea shipping, and show him i love him.
help (link)
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Get him stuff he can use. I found a list here
Q: Is there somewhere people can go to find a list of items that are OK to send to our deployed soldiers? I want to make sure I do not create a problem for him. Also, I realize troops poised to go into combat will not be able to store and keep some things since they are not being based somewhere for 6 to 9 months.
A: These items may be sent. Keep in mind that the list is a good starting point and your soldier may tell you what they need or want. Personal hygiene and grooming items should be individual, small sized and unscented.
1. Coffee bags (like Folgers coffee singles)
2. AA Batteries (or whatever fits in any small electronics they may have taken)
3. Stamped or postage paid post cards
4. Moisturizing lotion
5. Hand sanitizer
6. Chapstick
7. Wet wipes
8. Sun block
9. Eye drops
10. Underwear & socks
11. Large handkerchiefs
12. Any kind of candy except chocolate (it melts)
13. Beef sticks, jerky (nothing with pork in it)
14. Ready to serve canned foods (tuna, stews, soups, hash, etc.)
15. Nuts, dried fruit, trail mix (the stuff with M&Ms in it is ok - the candy keeps it from melting), etc.
16. Bug Spray - some natural and milder for the skin and some with deet to put on his clothes (some send flea collars but I don't think they should have those on their skin)
17. Ointments - such as bactine, anti-itch, neosporin, hydrocortisone
18. Creams - to restore dry and aging skin, or skin repair cremes, needs to be thick
19. Powders - foot and body especially Gold Bond
20. Salves - chap stick, sunscreen balm, carmex, Burt's Bees
21. Aspirin and Tylenol
22. Toothpaste, mouthwash, and dental floss
23. Love
A: Here is a list of proscribed items:
1. No flammable items
2. No tobacco products
3. No alcoholic beverages
4. No religious articles such as Bibles
5. No Christian articles, such as Rosaries
6. No pork or products containing pork products (read lable)
7. No fresh fruits or plants
8. No pornography or anything that can be so construed, such as Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition
9. No books with provocative covers
DIGITAL CAMERA -- Small, durable. You will surely have access to a computer and at least semi-regular email through work, but you will probably NOT have access to a large supply of film.
MP3 PLAYER -- if you like that sort of thing. They make "jukebox" mp3 players like the IPOD and the NOMAD 3 that can hold your entire collection and can also serve as an external hard drive for grabbing folks' pictures and stuff. I am a tech dork so this is the stuff that occurs to me right off the bat.
A GOOD HOLSTER -- You will probably be carrying an M9 pistol (military version of the Beretta 92) and the army holsters are pretty much c**p. Just about everyone over here uses a leather shoulder holster and some folks use hip holsters. I prefer the shoulder holsters that have the weapon on one side and a couple of magazine pouches on the other side. It'll cost about $100.
A SMALL, BATTERY-POWERED ALARM CLOCK.
A HEADLAMP FLASHLIGHT -- I like the one made by Rayovac that can be found at Wal-Mart for about $30. It takes 3 AAA batteries and has a white LED, red LEDs, and a halogen spotlight.
2 MONTHS OF TOILETRIES -- The rest can be shipped to you as necessary or purchased at PXs. I didn't bring a lot because I like to travel light, and it costs more to buy in the states and ship over than it does to just buy at the PX.
A GOOD MULTI-TOOL AND/OR LOCKING BLADE KNIFE -- I have an old Leatherman that is still working like a champ for little screwdriver/plier jobs. As for a knife, I got a CRKT M-16, 4" with a Tanto blade. It is fantastic, sharp, indestructible, light, and only cost about $50.
AT LEAST TWO SMALL LED LIGHTS -- the kind that you push and they light up. Great for clipping onto your collar or your belt loop so you can find your way to the crapper in the dark without having to grab a flashlight.
RED "ROPE LIGHTS" -- they come in 12' lengths and use 110V power, great for the tent. Get other colors if you like but red is great for the nighttime if you don't want to wake everyone. Those cheezy battery powered "tap-lights" are good too.
FOLDING CAMP CHAIRS -- will probably be available at the PX when you get there.
FEBREEZE -- helps when laundry facilities are scarce.
550 CORD, and 100MPH TAPE -- get your own personal supply.
FLANNEL PJ BOTTOMS -- because they're comfy. -:)
FLIP-FLOPS -- because the showers get NASTY.
NSECT REPELLANT -- The troops are really suffering with the bugs. Mosquitoes, flies, fleas are AWFUL and then factor in 120+ heat, it is a terrible situation. Some troops have even asked for MOSQUITO NETTING that they can cover themselves with when they try to sleep. DO NOT send items or repellent with DEET. Instead, send items that contain a non-harmful bug repellant such as citronella, which is easily purchased as oil, spray on, candles, etc. DEET is dangerous.
ANTI-ITCH CREAM -- for those insect bites.
FUNNEL -- To use to get the crystal lite and gatorade powder in their canteen without spilling that precious flavored crystal.. Most of the water the troops are drinking now is coming from the large military water containers, affectionately called a "water buffalo", so the troops must fill their cateens from this and apparently, the water is highly chlorinated and pretty nasty tasting, so DRINK MIXES are still one of the MOST important things we can send.
HAIR GEL -- especially for the gals. Keeps the hair slicked back and off their face.
PANTY LINERS -- Not for what you are thinking.. The troops, both men and women are using these as liners in their helmets to keep the sweat from chaffing them and also keep the sweat from running in their eyes.. Necessity is the Mother of invention..
CANNED FOOD -- In the last few weeks, I have received numerous calls and e-mails from troop families and directly from troops asking if we would send more food.
Canned tuna or better yet tuna in the pouch (weighs alot less), chicken, chili, stew, cheese dip, bean dip, rice dishes and pasta dishes that are ready to eat and just need to be warmed in the microwave (no microwaves, but with the temperature over 120, they just lay them in the sun for about 30 minutes and "God's microwave " takes care of it).
Two things are happening in Iraq right now.
First, I think the troops are just very tired of eating nothing but MREs for months on end. About 80% of the troops get 2 MREs a day and some semblance of a hot meal each day.. Sometimes that "hot" meal is just another MRE that is hot, but still an MRE, so they are craving anything that might taste like real food:
Canned corned beef, sardines, salsa, smoked salmon or smoked oysters, mac and cheese, (but ONLY the one that has the canned velveta cheese), beans and franks, canned fruit and ramen noodles and cup a soup, dry cereal. They can heat the ramen, add some chicken and it's almost a real food dinner.
Second and FAR more important, about twenty percent of our troops are in difficult and outlining areas and because of all the sniping on the supply routes, are having a difficult time getting all their supplies on a regular basis. So there has been rationing of supplies. I spoke to a military liaison for one of the senators in DC and they are doing their best to rectify this issue, but the Iraqi dissidents are sure not helping us. Every day there seems to be another incident of our troops being shot at. For some strange reason, the supply lines are jammed, but many of our boxes are getting through, so PLEASE add some extra canned food items in your boxes and go easy on the toiletries for awhile..
BATTERY OPERATED PERSONAL FANS -- I was at the dollar store the other day and they had these for a dollar and they really work well.. Just be sure to include a package of batteries when you send it. The temperatures in some of the tents at night has been getting to over 130 degrees, so anything that would move the air would be wonderful.
FLY PAPER -- to hang in their tents, the tank, whatever.. the bugs are really bad.
FLY SWATTERS -- at least include one in every box.
Dental Floss
Many of our special forces troops are in places with no running water, heat or even basic facilities, so even brushing their teeth can be a problem, but flossing is the extent of their oral hygiene.
Creams and Hand Stuff
Lip balm (chap-stick, blistex, etc.) Dry skin lotion, hand creams, foot creams Aloe vera cream for sun & wind burn & cuts Sun block..30+ SBP Strong hand cream is best-the dirt is so fine that their skin from the blowing dirt is chapped and cut, especially their hands Emery boards, nail file and nail clippers and q-tips.
Cleansers
Large Baby wipes (in soft packs are best) Hand sanitizers, PURELL-These become a shower many days. when on missions, this is their only way to clean themselves. The dust & dirt is overwhelming. In many areas, even when they have a shower, it is with only cold water. One soldier wrote & said that where he was, had no running water for showers & it had been 70 days since he’d had a “real shower”... Baby wipes and Purell are one of the most essential things we can send. Also, face cleansing pads.
Non-Medicated Eye Drops
Helps soothes the eyes, especially after a”brown out “ - dust storm.. Sometimes these are so bad, you cannot see more than a few feet in front of you.
Feet
Mole skin & blister packs - the terrain is so rocky in Afghanistan & the long missions of walking really does their feet in, “Hot Hands” and “Hot Feet” - hand and feet warmers work for up to 6 hours to keep them warm, White tube athletic socks-Trench foot is a real problem & the troops change socks a couple times a day to keep the bacteria & dampness in control. Sanitary conditions are not the best, so as long as they can keep their feet clean & dry, this really helps. Gold Bond Powder, Lotrimin, Athlete’s foot spray and cream, Foot powder.
Clothing
Underwear, white socks, large hankerchiefs.
Multi-Vitamins
Vitamin E, Zinc tablets, (Cold-eezz, fights off the common cold ) Vitamin C tablets or drops (found near cough drops) Cough drops Throat lozenges. With the cold weather in Afghanistan and the conditions they live in, everyone gets sick and these would really help.
Games
Dominoes, cribbage boards, trivial pursuit, other board games, Velcro dart game for their tents, other indoor type games for winter, crossword puzzle, word game books, nerf footballs, basketball, volley ball and net, soccer balls, whiffle ball and bat, hand pump for balls, patches for balls (very rocky terrain), electronic games, games boys, etc. video movies and video tapes of sporting events, CD’s, make a mix off of your computers.
The troops have a tent where there is a VCR and DVD player and they can go there to watch movies, but the selection is so limited, that some new ones would be a real plus for all the troops. The troops would really love some videos with taped current TV shows. Sopranos, Simpsons, Friends, anything you think the troops would enjoy watching.
Food
Snack and prepackaged foods of any kind ANYTHING CHOCOLATE (except in hot climates) Crystal lite, Gatorade , flavored teas (regular & herbal), Flavored instant coffee, coffee bags for single cups, Tang, instant spiced apple cider mix in individual packets, both regular and diet, instant hot cocoa mix in individual packets, regular and diet, ½ gallon size plastic containers to mix the drink mix in with water.
Some areas have bottled water and they use their water bottles to mix in, but many areas, now, have “water trucks,” so the plastic containers would help.
DORITOS, Pringles (all flavors), Tostitos, SPICY snack food and chips, potato chip sticks, pretzels, esp. flavored popped corn, fiddle faddle, cracker jacks, flavored crackers, Chex mix, cheese nips, salsa & canned dips (not refrigerated), crackers & cheese, spread in bottles and cans, cheese & crackers and peanut butter & crackers in individual plastic cups, cup of soup, cup of noodles, top ramen, any type that is instant and can be mixed with hot water foil packs of tuna or chicken or easy open, pop top cans of tuna; chicken & Vienna sausages, Beef & Turkey Jerky
(Note: No Slim Jim’s; they contain pork & pork is not allowed)
Trail mix, granola bars, Pop-Tarts, all flavors power bars, individual wrapped cookies, snack cakes, etc , fruit roll-ups, dried fruit, nuts - all kinds (pistachios in the shells; sunflower seeds in the shell; peanuts; cashews), instant oatmeal in “fun flavors”, flavored instant grits, sweetened dried cereal that can be eaten as a snack -Lucky charms, oatmeal raisin crisp, clusters, cinnamon toast crunch, in individual or in bigger boxes.
Individual servings of fruit & pudding, “Junior” size baby puddings & desserts, (Don’t laugh, they’re individual sized, need no refrigeration and are tasty & nutritious)
Hard candy, licorice (red), sweet-tarts, M&Ms, mints, jolly ranchers, gum—Lots of it (used on patrols to keep their mouths moist) star-burst candy, marshmallows, graham crackers, Hershey candy bars (sounds like the makings of s’mores), twinkies, peanut butter cups, rice crispy treats, sweetened kool-aid, oatmeal cookies, snickers, nutter butters
ANY kind of chocolate, but only for another month or so.
ANY and EVERY type of home-baked cookie you can think of except FIG BARS and POUND CAKE because those and Skittles are the desserts in MRE’s.
Many times the troops will take power bars, trail mix, tuna or chicken or jerky and pack them in their fatigue pockets instead of an MRE when they go out on patrol. E nothing but MREs gets very old fast , so nutritious food from our boxes is a welcome change.
Personal Hygiene Items: (unscented if possible)
soap, toothpaste tooth brushes and disposable razors, blades, shaving cream, toilet paper etc In many of the areas, there is a SMALL mobile exchange that carries basic items, but from what we are hearing, right now with the large influx of troops, the demand is outweighing the supply. Some of the newer bases are still without a mobile PX, so it’s safe to say that the troops can use the basics.. Some of the newer bases have been requesting toilet paper, so if you have a little extra room in your box, include a couple rolls.
Miscellaneous
Kleenex packets that they can carry in their pockets.
Disposable camera
Flash lights
Batteries AA and AAA
Phone cards-ATT
Pens, stationary, postcards, and regular unused greeting cards, that the troops can use to send back to their families ... (no postage stamps necessary)
Freezer weight ziploc bags, all sizes, but especially the gallon size. The dust and dirt is in EVERYTHING, so the troops put everything in ziploc bags to protect their belongings air fresheners (stick-ums or the kind that hang in a car, the tents get pretty funky)
Fly swatters, Mouse Traps, Battery operated personal fans and fan misters (seasonal)
Some other suggestions are a current CD , photo holders with magnets on the back that they can put up in their tent. Pictures of the SNOW for the troops in Kuwait, Pictures of the beach for the troops in Afghanistan, The Sunday funny papers, the sports section from the newspaper Hobby items, like a drawing tablet with a box of colored pencils or chalk.
A journal. Disposable cameras for them to take pictures to send home to their families.
Thats retardedly long, I cross posted from somewhere else, but anything on the list should work out fine for him.
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Is it possible to love someone in highschool, get pregnant, and stay with that person?
And i don't just mean puppy love.
I mean REAL REAL love. We're you go through bad times and hard times and fun times and sexual times and aren't ever embarassed in front of eachother and tell the 100 percent truth. (link)
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Is it possible?
Yes. Its possible. It would require two very mature individuals to pull off though.
The reason high school relationships almost never work out is that people change alot from high school and beyond.
I'm 24, and not remotely the same person I was when I was 20, much less 18 or 16. I have different views, different likes and dislikes, different habits, etc.
It gets even more complicated because in a high school relationship both of you are changing. Can you change in ways that are compatible, or adapt to each other? Yeah. But you both have to want it, and you both have to be the kind of people who are that accepting. Not everyone falls into that category.
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I'm 18/f, and lately I haven't had any appetite at all. Sure, I get hungry, but then when I eat, it seems like I get full really quickly and I just can't eat whatever portion is there in front of me. I rarely eat more than half of whatever I get at restaurants. I do have unusual eating habits anyway: I'm very picky, and I have a chaotic eating schedule, and normally don't eat 3 meals a day. The things I just listed are nothing all that new, but the 'no appetite' thing is very recent, it's probably been about a month.
Anyone ever experienced this? I'm definitely not anorexic, but my parents are starting to think so because I hardly eat. (link)
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Its partly the irregularity, but appetites also vary.
I'm a guy, 6'2, and I eat about the same amount as my girlfriend who's 5'1. Lately I eat once or twice a day, today I had three small pieces of pizza, a salad, and about a quarter of a ramen packet. I wasn't really hungry when I ate the salad and the ramen, but if I go too long without eating I get acid reflux, even if I don't get hungry.
Try to eat somewhat regularly, but don't get hung up on amounts. If you aren't hungry, that means your body doesn't need it. Just make sure what you DO eat is somewhat balanced, because when you don't eat as much its important to make sure that the nutrients you need are gotten.
Just talk to your parents, explain that whats going on, and tell them that they're wrong about it being a problem.
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(17/f) I am with a guy right now who I have known and been friends with forever. I really like him, but I am afraid we arent able to connect sexually. Two out of three times we tried having sex, he had a hard time going inside of me and kept going soft. The one time we did do it we were drunk. Both of us were not virgins before, so I am afraid this is only happening because we arent able to connect on that sexual level. I like him a lot, but are we better just as friends? Any advice is appreciated (link)
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He's scared shitless of screwing this up, and is putting pressure on himself to perform that is causing him to not be able to.
You've been friends forever and now you're dating. I can almost guarantee he's been waiting for this for YEARS. Guys will be friends with a girl hoping she comes around for ages. Now that he's actually got what he wants, he's probably terrified of losing it.
For not being a virgin... "not able to connect sexually"?
When a guy can't get hard for you, its not because of you. Its because theres something wrong with him emotionally or physically somehow, I'm guessing emotionally.
First, no more sex. You two need some more time to get comfy around each other. It seems like you two probably rushed into sex. Just because you two were friends before doesn't mean the romance is going to come immediately. This is a whole new kind of relationship, and you both need to take things slowly.
I think I can understand where you're coming from. It sounds like you like this guy alot, and you feel rejected. You've built this up into such a huge thing, that it feels like you just want a resolution, you want it to work or not work so you don't have to worry about it anymore.
It doesn't work that way.
Let me tell you a story.
The girl I'm currently dating (4 years tomorrow, actually) and I had a somewhat rocky start. We knew each other and were pretty close friends for about a year before we started dating, and so we jumped right into intimacy too. As in, sex on the first date.
It didn't work. She was terrified of not being good enough because I was far more experienced, and her shell shock and nervousness bled over into me.
Couldn't get hard to save my life (which had never happened to me before) and I was mortified and embarrassed in the extreme. I considered just going home and calling the whole thing a big mistake.
I didn't. We hung out, watched some movies, ordered Chinese, and wrestled around resulting in many bruises and much laughter before passing out cold.
The next day, I woke up without the problems of the previous night, and we had quite a nice hello.
And no, I don't think sex on the first date is a good idea. Lets just say it was an obstacle we had to overcome.
Point being, is that comfort was required, and we both had to get over that initial discomfort. That can take a while. Give him time, and give yourself time. Its way too early to throw in the towel.
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Ok so before I begin I know what they say...you made your bed now lay in it.
i met my boyfriend(?) 6 months ago and then like a few months after i started to give him my car so he could use it while i was @ work .. i know it was a bad idea but i liked the idea of seeing him. last night i got the worst phone call of my life. He had crashed my car, however nothing had happened to him. My parents didn't even know I had a boyfriend let alone he was using their car (registered under my dad) and along with that he was operating a vehicle with a suspended license. he has been caught 3 times operating a vehicle with a suspended license & has not been arrested.
so now the car is trashed & my parents are going crazy on me. they made me quit both of my jobs and they're only allowing me to go to school. i turn 18 next week and im wondering what i can do to get out of this situation.
they're forcing me not to talk/see him. and the only reason i didn't tell them about him was because they wouldn't have approved bc of religious views.
i could move in with him but he has no, i have no job we aren't going to get anywhere. plus if he ever fails to do what he promises to do i can't return to my parents bc they won't accept me (link)
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I think I'm going to disagree with Rahzie for once, because you haven't said anything that proves that he's a user.
Sadly, I myself have a suspended liscense, and occasionally drive my girlfriends car when its neccessary. We're in a 4 year relationship, and can't afford to get me out of hock currently, as we spent the last of our savings on her classes and books this semester.
So, I can understand the predicament you found yourself in.
I agree that this was a bad judgement call. I only drive the car when there is no other choice, and it sounds more like you were just letting him use your car for the shit of it, not because he had transportation needs that couldn't be met any other way. Thats BOTH of your bad judgment calls.
First, do not burn your bridges. Yes, you DID screw this up royally. And no, this boyfriend is not worth destroying your relationship with your parents. Family first, and he isn't family.
Second, you need to apologize to your parents if you haven't already. Throw yourself on their mercy and tell them you know you fucked up royally and were irresponsible.
Third, you do need to evaluate the relationship from an objective standpoint. You haven't given us enough information about the boy, but this is a pretty big fuck up on his part. God only knows how he managed to wreck your car. Perhaps Rahzie is right, perhaps not, but if nothing else the boy should be on severe probation as far as you're concerned. Regardless of YOUR decisions, he also was irresponsible, and he cost your family money.
You've both been stupid. Don't fight your parents, you need to fix what happened as best you can. Tell your boyfriend that you need to cool it for a while while you fix things with your parents. Talk to them, let them tell you how stupid what you did was (it was) and go from there.
This isn't going to blow over overnight. Be patient with them, because its going to take them a while to have trust and patience with you again.
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Hi! I’m a 19 year old girl and since 4 months I have a boyfriend who is also 19. I am really happy with him, but lately there has been a thing that is starting to bug me. I recentlty got my black belt in hapkido and I’m very proud over that. Since then my boyfriend has been more or less challenging me to “show what I can do” or he says he won’t believe that martial arts would work for “a little girl” like me against a guy. My mother is from India, and like her I’m rather short (5’4’’), but he is no giant (like 5’10’’) either and even though I don’t look like it, I’m actually pretty strong, from all my training. I know there are a lot of things I could do to defeat a bigger opponent like him and I really want to prove it to him. But at the same time I don’t want to risk hurting him or embarrass him, cause I love him… What should I do? (link)
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Take him somewhere there are mats, show him how to fall (because he probably needs to learn) and kick his ass.
He needs to learn a lesson here, and embarrassment is not always a bad thing for egotistical 19 year olds.
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there is this kid on my bus who is really annoying but he thinks we are best friends. in the classes i have with him he always follows me around and it gets kind of embarrassing. he also tells me and the other girl on my bus how we are ugly and why. he always tries to make my life seem terrible. he has no friends and i dont want to hurt his feelings, but how do i get rid of him? (link)
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You are not required to be nice to someone who is a pain in the ass.
You don't have to be mean, or cruel. Its not about purposefully hurting his feelings. Its about being honest and up front about the fact that everything about him bothers you and you would prefer that he leave you alone.
The next time he tells you something like "youre ugly" respond with something like
"Thats very rude, if you can't find something nicer than that to talk about, don't talk to me at all"
Be firm, be honest, and be short. Don't go into a diatribe about how much he annoys you or all the things he does. Just simply let him know that you think he's a rude person and you don't associate with people who don't know how to not be creepy jerks who follow you around.
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My friend is having an affair with a married man. I found out he is also having an affair with another woman at the same time. Should I tell my friend? She keeps suggesting this man loves her and will leave his wife for her; however, I know he is giving the other woman the same line. He bought my friend a clock radio for Christmas, he bought the other woman a brand new Mustang. What should I do??? (link)
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Tell her that you love her, but she's an idiot.
Continue to reinforce this idea.
Other than that, stay out of it. The last thing you want to get involved in is your friend's idiocy with a man who's married and having two affairs.
If you pull the denial out from under her she's going to fall flat on you, likely destroying your friendship.
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17/f
My period is over 2 weeks late and I'm really afraid I'm pregnant. My friends say that it's near impossible - especially because I am usually always late to begin with. My period is completely irregular. I've even skipped a month about 2 times since i've started (about 4-5 years ago).
I've never had sex. My boyfriend fingers me a lot but he has never even ejaculated around me so I don't think any of his fluids could have gotten into me. What are my chances of actually being pregnant?
Also:
-what if he had masturbated earlier that day or something and there were still fluids on his hands? is that possible?
-what if he had precum on his hands and then put his hands inside of me?
sorry. I'm just worry a lot. Thanks in advance.
(link)
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Possible but incredibly unlikely.
If you're two weeks late a pregnancy test should be reasonably accurate.
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Ok everyone has relationships or is romantically involved with someone at one point or another. I am 15 and i havnt had a boyfriend.. im pretty okay with that and dont necesarily want to rush it. Naturally i am i guess dirty minded or kinky talker how ever you want to put it. My best friend thinks its gross if i talk about guys id like to f*** and says its whorish but im like well im not actually doing it, cuz im a virgin. I wouldnt want to have sex with someone unless i was dating them and for a certain time period but i know there are certain guys that i would have with dating them or not. I wouldnt really care about getting to know them, I would just like to get to know them physically because what i see now is already good. When it comes to a boyfriend i dont care if there a virgin or not because now at this age it seems like half the people arent anyway so why exclude so many people. My friend thinks that sex thing is whorish too..and disagrees with the bf unless im ready to lose my virginity. I just want some other opinions on everything and please just be honest (link)
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Theres nothing wrong with being a little kinky. The trick is not to let teenaged hormones dictate your desires.
Now, as far as your friend, she is probably just uncomfortable with you expressing the whole "I'd like to fuck that guy".
Theres nothing wrong with that, either. Teens think its normal to flaunt sexuality. Its not. Its immature. Your friend realizes that. Shes also worried all this talk will turn into stupid actions. As you've said, all your friends are doing it. She sounds like she's hoping you won't join the trend.
You shouldn't at this point in your life have sex with a guy just because you find him attractive.
Why?
Because teens these days have a completely warped sense of adult sexuality. Look at your friend.
"You shouldn't have a boyfriend unless you're ready to lose your virginity"
WRONG. You shouldn't have a boyfriend if you aren't interested in dating them. Having a boyfriend is supposed to be about establishing a relationship, learning how to love someone and who it is you want to love in the first place.
Dating is not about sex, its about the relationship. Sex is part of that.
Teens don't seem to get the whole idea that sex is part of a relationship, rather than relationships being a part of sex.
Thats the point. If you want to date, date. Don't fuck a guy unless you know he cares just as much for you as you do for him, and its a mutual decision.
Virginity is made such a big deal these days. Virginity doesn't matter. Your first. You'll remember it. Whoop dee doo. Then all these girls who lost it go sleep with whomever because "well, I'm not a virgin anymore so it doesn't matter"
The divorce rate is going to skyrocket when your generation hits the mid to late 20s.
There should be good reasons behind sex with anyone. And yes, some adults are also indescriminant. Do you know what the difference is?
They are doing it because its what they want, without regard to what other people think. They are making adult decisions and are old enough to deal with the consequences. Or, they are just as stupid as your slutty friends. Not everyone grows up.
If you want to date, date. But don't put out just because others do it, and don't put out unless you know you won't regret it in the morning, regardless of the consequences.
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I have 3 children ages 6,2, and 4 weeks. This morning I was taking a nap with my newborn in his bassinet next to the bed. "Grandma" was supposed to be watching my 2 yr old daughter. I had woken suddenly hearing the baby cry, and realized the baby was not in his bassinet. I immediately knew something was wrong and called my daughters name and ran to where I heard the baby crying. My daughter had dropped her brother on a pile of laundry and ran to a corner when I called her name (she knows she isn't supposed to be anywhere near the baby without supervision). It turned out "Grandma" has fallen asleep watching TV, instead of watching my daughter. My daughter has picked up the baby by herself multiple times without out us even hearing, she does it very sneaky. She knows its wrong, but I can't seem to make her understand she can severely injure or even kill her baby brother. She has her own baby dolls we got her to play with, but she ignores them and wants to play with the real baby. Any advice please? This is very scary, it had me in a panic almost in tears. (link)
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Baby Gates.
Ever seen them? We used them at home when I was a kid to keep the dogs where we wanted them.
If you're going to nap with the kid next to you, put up a baby gate so the 2 year old can't get in. Usually if you put the latch on your side a 2 year old shouldn't be able to undo it without making enough noise to wake you up.
Then she's in trouble for opening the gate instead of picking up to the kid. Preventative measures might do some good until she's old enough to understand that this kid isn't a toy to play with.
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i have been asked to sing at a wedding!
i am only a young teen and have no idea what to sing.
They was like heyy do you wanna sing at my wedding;
you pick a song!
and i just do not know what to sing ?
any advice?
what song was at your wedding (if your married)
what songs do you want at your wedding ?
you get the jist ?
thankss ! xx (link)
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Anything by Savage Garden, Vertical Horizon, or Queen.
Seriously, belt Bohemian Rhapsody and watch people dance.
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For starters, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 20. I was just wondering who you guys would agree with. We were at his friend's place one day and were well..wanting each other. He wanted to ask his friend if we could use his bedroom. But I didn't want him to know so I said we should just go to the bathroom and not tell his friend. His friend was playing video games so he wouldn't have noticed if we were gone for a little. So which do you guys think is better? Tell him and use his bedroom or not tell him and just do it in the bathroom? (link)
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This is a matter of opinion.
Also, the verdict depends entirely on the bathroom and bedroom in question.
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f/16, boyfriends 16
been dating for 7 months, known eachother for 3 years
theres no question that i love him, during thepast 7 months we've been through more and made it through it, between him moving an hour away and me being hospitalized for 2 months for an eating disorder
and were still strong
i feel more comfortable around him than anyone, we basically know eachother inside out
right now were basically at the hj/fingering stage i guess but we've spoken a lot about going farther and what not
basically due to all my insecurities it felt that i wasn't ready, and the fear of him leaving and the rest of it
basically the other night we were making out, but like really, really going at it and he asked me if i wanted to go to the next level
i said not tonight
at this pont though there really is no reason for me to be so uptight about it and like i want to, but im afraid to? i guess
any advice on how to just not be so worried maybe?
btw my boyfriends the best and not pressuring me or anything, and he really was fine that i said no, but i feel at this point i should? he's been there for me through everything (link)
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Its up to you. If it doesn't feel right, then don't.
Theres no rush, and it sounds like he loves you and is perfectly willing to wait.
If he's not rushing you, why are you?
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For a while now i have notice that i have a lump inbetween my vaginal opening and the anus. the lump is more to the side, under the outer labia. its hard to explain the location. But anyway, has anyone ever heard of this? Its shape is about the size of my finger print. It has no redness, it is not painfull, it is just a simple lump. Its colour is the same colour as the rest of my body. it doesn't feel like there is anything in it. it has never bothered me, i just would like to know what it it. i have looked it up on the internet and it seems like no one else in the world has ever experienced this. Should i be worried about it?Any answers or suggestions are appresiated.
Thanks. (link)
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As stated, we aren't doctors.
I have a few ideas, but I could be completely wrong.
It could simply be a bump or benign cyst. Extra growth of skin kind of thing.
It could also be the beginnings of an infected pore. Basically, like a pimple, but because its in an area subject to rubbing of skin on skin it gets alot bigger and eventually hurts a bit more.
If its either of these, its nothing to worry about. If it changes, consider talking to your mother. Since you aren't sexually active its something that you should be able to talk about even if its a little embarassing.
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First off i am 18 in the state of georgia. the other night i received a citation for drinking underage. i blew a .043 on the breathalyzer. I have a court date at the end of Feb. My question is, what is going to happen in court, will i be asked questions and stuff or will i just have to plead guilty/non guilty? please don't lecture me on how dumb it is to drink underage, believe me i'm paying a price and a major guilt trip. just any advice about court would be great. (link)
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Hmm.
Well, a drinking citation is usually a misdemeanor.
The first thing you should probably do is speak to an attorney. Google "Georgia Lawyers" or "Georgia Attorney Listing"
Call around and ask about the retainer. A retainer is a fee you pay a lawyer to engage the confidentiality clause. Basically, you pay the lawyer a retainer and he becomes bound by law and anything you say to him is completely confidential. From there, you can talk about your case and at least get some legal advice. Just call law offices, tell them that you have Minor In Possession of Alcohol charge and are looking for a small retainer to get some legal advice.
If the law office can't help you, usually they can refer you to someone who can. Ask if they can help, and ask for any referrals. A retainer might be anywhere from 50 to 150, if you have a family friend they might be willing to help. I had a lawyer friend help with some advice, he had me pay him a buck to make the "retainer" part legal and follow the law exactly.
From there, you go to the court date. If you don't want to hire an attorney (I wouldn't recommend it for a misdemeanor) then you tell them when you show up at the court date that you do not have an attorney and would like to speak to a public defender. The usual procedure from here is to give you information to contact a public defender and grant a continuance on the case, meaning they reset the court date for later so that you can confer with your new attourney. If you can't afford a retainer for anyone in your area, the public defender can give you similar legal advice.
Now, the reason you might want to do this, is that you might be able to get a deferred adjudication. This is when you plead no contest without a conviction and go on probation for a period of time (usually 6 months to a year) where you report to a probation officer once a month, pay some fees, and when you finish the offense is dismissed. Later you can pay lots of money to seal your record entirely if you want, completely erasing even the arrest record (which will still exist)
The reason this is good, is that when dealing with jobs or housing you get to say "Never convicted of any crime". A conviction even of a misdemeanor can show up on background checks. I have a deferred misdemeanor, and to my knowledge its never shown up on a background check in a way thats affected me.
At that first court date, you will be granted a continuance, or an adjournment, which basically resets your court date for later so that you can prepare. They can give you information to contact the public defenders office for more legal advice.
The advantage of a public defender, is that you don't have to pay them a dime. This gives you someone who at least can represent you in court and speak to the prosecuting attorney. The public defender can see what the prosecutor is willing to offer in the way of plea bargains.
A plea bargain is when you take a reduced sentence for pleading guilty or no contest.
Now, what you want, is conditions for deferred adjudication. Since this is your first time in court, it shouldn't be a hard sell. Any attorney can tell you the actual court procedures.
Also, show up well dressed. A suit if you can, a tie with button up and slacks or kakhis with belt and nice shoes if you can't.
Basically, you're going to plead no contest. If you plead no contest without a defer, you will likely get probation or a fine or both, and it will show up on background checks as a conviction. If you get a defer, it will cost you more but you won't likely have to worry about background checks.
Though, I imagine that varies from state to state, so thats another one to ask a lawyer in your area.
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Hello. My name is Bobby, I`m 32 and from London. I no longer want to live. I am not in an irrational state of mind and niether do I suffer from a debilitating mental illness. I obviously have issues but I have a fire in my heart and I strongly believe death is the only solution for me in order to exorcise this pain. Yes I am sad and lonely and have no friends and have debts and have little money and no prospects but I do not want anything anymore. Death has become a beautiful dream for me and all I want from the almighty is death. If people in physical pain are sometimes allowed to die (euthanasia) then why can someone in extreme emotional pain not be allowed to do the same. My pain is too great and too deep to be simply diagnosed and treated via therapy or drugs or a combination of the 2. My pain has paralysed me emotionally and has left me a pathetic and useless wreck. I must have the same rights to die as someone in physical pain. I don`t want attention and niether do I want to be celebrated (I`m a nobody after all) so this is not a plea for help or some pathetic attention seeking rant. I genuinely want to die. If society can accept the self-death of someone in physical pain then why can it not accept the death of someone in emotional pain. Who`s to say my pain is not equal or greater than that someone? (link)
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My off the cuff answer to your post is "What are you, stupid?"
First, euthanasia. Lets use Dr. Kavorkian as an example. He helped people die who were crippled in every way. Completely unable to function as normal people. By function, I don't mean getting out of the house to have a life, I mean getting out of the chair they're sitting in most hours of the day (or bed) and taking a crap without having to be helped or suffering the indignity of having to have someone wipe your ass for you past the age of potty training.
People with absolutely no hope for any improvement, who's emotional pain equals or far outstrips anything you've ever faced while also dealing with crippling physical pain as well.
Even in those cases, I believe suicide is wrong. However, I can empathize with the motivations.
You are intelligent. Your vocabulary and grammar and methods of expressing yourself make that clear. You aren't incapable, only unwilling. It seems easier to give up than to suffer the pains that succeeding in anything in this world brings.
Life is pain, my friend. I can guarantee my life is no more rose colored than yours. I am 24 and a freshman in college who's been out of school for 5 years. I am training for the latest in a very long line of shit menial jobs that are completely and utterly beneath my capacity to contribute to society. I have thousands of dollars of debt in my name and the worst credit rating you've ever seen. Because of a clerical error, I am listed as evicted on my credit and the business who could fix that is on my list of debts, so they won't remove it until the debt is paid. (Thus, I cannot get housing of any kind in my own name). I have no car (in America they are insanely neccesary most of the time, I don't live somewhere with any real public transit). The total of my liquid assets is less than two hundred dollars at the moment and my net worth isn't more than a grand.
Oh, and thats NOT listing the incredibly long line of personal betrayals that have come from me not knowing who to trust in my life, and all the problems with my family that have caused me to not speak to my parents or anyone else in my family outside of e-mail for the last coming up on three years.
But you know what? I could have been born in Africa, where tribal warfare has decimated families and communities for the past... well as far back as I've ever studied in their history.
I could have been a child in Hati, sold off to a rich gay pedophile after spending the first part of my life starving, then dumped somewhere to starve once he was done with me.
Who says your emotional pain isn't equal or greater than others?
I say.
I say because like me you have internet. I say because like me you probably have somewhere to live where you can get said internet. I say because I'm fairly certain by the time I post this you will have eaten something. I say because the only thing here holding you back is you.
I sunk into a depression I haven't fully escaped. Its been a long climb pulling myself out of it. I didn't so much as crack a smile from before Thanksgiving (which I spent alone drinking) until after Christmas. I'm pulling myself out of it, because I hate being an effing pussy. I have the capacity to, at times. Its easy to sit and mope and think to yourself "Nothing will ever get better, I wish it were all over"
Yeah, if you off yourself, you'd be right. We call that a self fulfilling prophesy. If you are too depressed to go live your life, you won't ever live a life, and no, nothing will happen.
You need to get off your ass and go have some fun. Happiness must be sought. Go do something that gets those endorphins pumping, and gets that serotonin pumping. Go ride a bike, take a walk, play a video game, read a book, go to a comedy club and laugh yourself silly. Just go DO something.
Thats the first step. Putting one foot in front of the other and making yourself do something. No, it isn't impossible. Its as easy as deciding that its necessary.
Lastly, change your life. Move somewhere or something. Get a new job if you have one already. Sometimes the only way to get yourself out of a rut is to drive yourself down a different road. Try something. If it doesn't work, try something else.
Your pain hasn't paralyzed you. Thats a cop out. YOU have paralyzed you. Now go look in a mirror, and get pissed off at what you see, and vow to stop being so damn depressed about it.
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