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My boyfriend underestimates me because I'm a girl
Hi! I’m a 19 year old girl and since 4 months I have a boyfriend who is also 19. I am really happy with him, but lately there has been a thing that is starting to bug me. I recentlty got my black belt in hapkido and I’m very proud over that. Since then my boyfriend has been more or less challenging me to “show what I can do” or he says he won’t believe that martial arts would work for “a little girl” like me against a guy. My mother is from India, and like her I’m rather short (5’4’’), but he is no giant (like 5’10’’) either and even though I don’t look like it, I’m actually pretty strong, from all my training. I know there are a lot of things I could do to defeat a bigger opponent like him and I really want to prove it to him. But at the same time I don’t want to risk hurting him or embarrass him, cause I love him… What should I do?
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I'm behind Witty 100% on this one. The boy needs to learn this is not a laughing matter.
Don't make the mistake of trying to coddle your boyfriend and live in fear of offending his masculinity or pride. Seriously, do not put yourself in that position. It's a relationship killer, and you will end up constantly putting yourself down and compromise yourself to 'protect' your boyfriend from harsh realities.
Lots of women choose that path, and it's one of misery.
He's a big boy. He can take it. He can put his money where his mouth it, just like you can. Expect him to. If he says he wants to try and fight you, then go ahead and let him try.
Loving someone so much that you compromise yourself, lie to them or allow yourself to be belittled and misunderstood to protect them, isn't a healthy love, or one that will lead to long term happiness.
Do yourself, your boyfriend and your relationship a favor, and bruise him up a bit.
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Take him somewhere there are mats, show him how to fall (because he probably needs to learn) and kick his ass.
He needs to learn a lesson here, and embarrassment is not always a bad thing for egotistical 19 year olds.
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start doing something boyish, like skateboarding
and prove him wrong haha
not that skateboarding is boyish, it's just a predominantly male thing, u know? i do it and im a girl
but im just saying.... prove him wrong
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You can hold him down where he can't get up but just don't hold him there forever and rub it in his face. Once you have him down, let him go after a few seconds so you're not like mocking him.
Guys are so weird when it comes to things like that. They always want to feel like they're stronger and in charge. He might feel like his manhood is being threatened because of what you have accomplished. Try not to make it a competition though because it really isn't worth it. Just tell him that you think you've accomplished alot in hapkido and that you need him to respect that. You can also just boost his confidence a little while still keeping your pride. Tell him things like..well this "little girl" can kick guys asses..except yours. Maybe show him your moves and the things you can do. Just don't use them to beat him up! Show him what you've learned so he can actually see it and maybe try to teach him a few things. :)
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