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I aim to give you solid advice on your problems. I don't sugarcoat things and I'm always straight up. Don't come asking for what you want to hear as I always give the truth even if you don't want it because it's what you need and the only way to grow.
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Member Since: December 31, 2006
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Last Update: August 30, 2022
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Hi guys, i'm in a bit of a rut. I used to be friends with this one guy and one day in the spring time he got mad at me for a reason i do not remember, but his friend told me that if i sent him a nude picture he would get this guy to speak to me. so after two hours of him trying to convince me to i finally i did. i am not proud of it. but now that it is almost winter the picture got posted on facebook. (From my old friend, not his friend) He keeps calling me from blocked restricted numbers and just whistles in the phone. A few months ago he called and whistled and than said some very inappropriate thing to me. And a few weeks ago someone randomly pulled up to my house at about 3 in the morning and started screaming things out the window. my brother had fallen asleep in his car and woke up to it and chased after them a little till he lost them. than the following week or next week they came at about midnight and i ran down the stairs opened the door and when they saw me they took off. now i dont know if that was him or not, but it all seems to be ironic than. This guy is a literal lunatic and i am scared of him coming to my house to hurt me or my family. i keep the doors locked but i feel like i keep kearing things so i keep checking the house because it wouldnt surprise me if he found a way in. i am 16 years old, and is 20 or 21. Can someone tell me how to tell my parents without me getting in tons of trouble if possible to avoid. and what i can do in the mean time to feel safe? ANY advice is helpful! absolutely anything! whether its comforting, or advising me to do something. should i get the police involved? PLEASE HELP! it will be very appreciated! (link)
Definitely contact Facebook about it. The picture being sent to him electronically by you is illegal because of your age as is him posting it on there. He must be pretty dumb because it can land him in jail.

Next, you need to tell your parents as well as school admin that you made a huge mistake and that you sent this to him and that he's now harassing you by phone and showing up on and in front of your home.

They will call the police and let them handle him. You MUST do this as you cannot keep such an icky and harmful secret. He cannot get away with it. Your family will be fine and you will be protected by them and the police for sure. He is intimidating you because he knows he has a big time problem and will have the law against him the moment the truth comes out. Don't let him intimidate you. The truth has to come out. Be brave and stop him by telling any adult who will listen.


Hello peoples,
well i was just wondering what happens when a guy goes through puberty, like i know about girls (duh cause i'm a girl) like they bleed but what happens to a guy? Do they have to wear anything? Like I know girls have to wears pads and tampons, do boys have to wear anything!!! Please please please please tell me!!!thanks (link)
Your question is a good one because many other young people wonder the same thing. First, only females have periods and use pads, tampons for menstruation. Boys don't nor do they wear anything or bleed from any orafice.

In boys the major changes are in voices cracking before they become a deeper adult voice, pubic hair in underarms and private areas that a bathing suit covers, growth spurts until the end of puberty where full adult height is reached, facial hair. From a physical standpoint the testes are able to produce sperm. That's pretty much the changes in males.


19/f

my good friend suggested an online dating site for me and I found this guy who I'm really interested in. We've been texting back and forth for a long time now and we sent pictures and I really like him :) he asked me to hang out this weekend and I said yes. I am comfortable meeting with him, even though I've never met him before. I realize the consequences. Thats not my problem. My problem is that I have my period, and what if we get intimate? I don't want to stop and tell him I have my period because I feel like that's weird and awkward. but i don't want to make up an excuse like "oh its too soon to get intimate" because honestly I'm fine with it. (don't judge). I don't want to cancel on him either. So what should I do about this dilemma?

thanks :) (link)
The truth is you don't know much about him at all aside from pictures and words in e-mails and text. You're right he's probably a good guy but could also be pretty scary.

Meeting someone should be okay but you have to be super-cautious no matter who you think he is. I'm sure you know this but I re-iterate it for anyone else reading in the same boat.

I think you need to meet in a bookstore, library or coffee house or public place that is well-lit and heavily frequented. It would be good if you had another friend preferably a male around that can call you once you sit down and have a signal for cutting things if you're in a bad situation.

I'm not judging you but asking that you be smart and really use your head and keep it about you here. Who you sleep with is your business and nobody would dispute it but I don't think sleeping with someone you just met and don't know well from the Internet is a good idea. I would get to know him as a serious boyfriend and then go down that road. I'm saying this so you regret nothing later and be safe.

As for the female issue there's not much you can tactfully say except that you don't feel good physically, don't have protection, not a good time of month or want to wait. Nothing wrong with waiting and not your fault if that disappoints him. It may be less awkward for both parties.

Just deal with meeting him first and staying 100% safe first as thinking it will turn into something sexual automatic may not happen. You could even hate him or he could be a sicko you just don't know yet who you're actually meeting aside from what online stuff tells you.


What are the main uses for Blu-Ray discs? What are some websites with uses? Also, what is the future of Blu-Ray? (link)
You will want to read this FAQ on Blu-Ray that answers your questions far better than anything else could. Blu-Ray is the norm now and DVD is dying out slow but sure.

One of the benefits that is fairly new is for Blu-Ray discs to have the ability to let you watch in 3D if you have a 3D TV and glasses. A DVD won't do that.

If you're getting a Blu-Ray player I would suggest going with the one that is easiest to update the firmware and has multiple functions. That is the PS3. You can play both DVD and Blu-Ray discs where as a standard player will only usually allow Blu-Ray. You can also play thousands of video games on it too. It's the best deal.

Also lets say you have a copy of Rise of the Planet of The Apes for example. Because the Blu-Ray player is connected to the Internet it can read what movie you have an added any new content or special features to it that were not out when you bought it.

Here's your link http://www.blu-ray.com/faq/


im bipolar and have lost my job with no money coming in and no hopes of finding a job where I live in this small rural area.My mother-in-law is trying to break up my marriage of 27 years to my wife all over a small piece of land that was promised to my wife by her now dead father.My daughter has a life of her own now and my wife never wants to talk anymore.the mortgage company and electric company is at my door ready to diconnect power and throw me out.If im gone motherinlaw will help my wife so I see no other option.Please pray for them after Im gone (link)
First of all you would never have bothered to write in if you truly wanted to kill yourself. You wrote because you yearn to end the situation you are in and move forward. Right now you're stymied but things will improve if you hang in there.

You have to hang in as dying over situations that can change on a dime is not the answer. You can't see that now as the illness is telling you differently.

I've been where you are at. I had a great career and life developing in 2003. I had just graduated when bipolar disorder turned my world upside down like a hurricane. I relapsed due to the fact I was allergic to medication they put me on a year after.

They told me that my life would improve drastically and be better than before but it took a long time to see that. And yes, my life in many ways has changed but I've had so many positive experiences from it and opportunities for further education and re-direction of career I wouldn't have experienced otherwise.

What you need to do is level with your psychiatrist. Tell him or her that you often feel thoughts of suicide and that your mortgage company is set to kick you out, that there is no power in the house and you are in debt to your eyelids.

Also tell him that your wife and her family are driving you insane and not allowing you to get better over this stupid bullshit land deal. It's her problem and she must deal with it without you.

Although it is drastic you have to put you and your health above her and all else in your life. If things are destroying your health to the point you want to die you need to stick a fork in the marriage and leave. Health comes first and you'll never progress in that environment.

You have to rebuild your life and do the leg work in conjunction with what your shrink asks of you. This person can actually find bursaries, funding and benefits to help you live and employment options for when you are stable that you may not know even existed. They will not allow you to become delusional again or sink under the weight of these problems. Talk to them.

What I'm urging you to do right now is to go the hospital and tell them you have suicidal thoughts, bipolar and life is falling apart and get admitted there.

Your psychiatrist will keep you there until you get better and keep you safe from others and harming yourself. This will give them the time they need to figure out how to save your life, improve it and make sure you succeed. You have to be brutally honest with them about the state of your life right now. Things will get better as I'm proof that they do. You need help and have to reach out for it. I wish you well.



Hello I have a couple e-mails and I am trying to e-mail my friend and she does not have a e-mail but does have a phone and I want to sent her a email but i do know that it has to be the number@ something. What is that something. Like for instance I know that for version its the number@vtext.com(example:1234567890@vtext.com)and it can not just be the number. The company that my friend has is Net 10 but i'm really not sure what phone she has I just know what company she has. Thanks in advance. (link)
There should be an e-mail client on the phone itself that lets her read e-mail. I know that she can set up an e-mail address with Hotmail (if she wants to use a free service) or any carrier of choice and put in the incoming/outgoing mail servers, her password, and download mail to the phone from Hotmail or another carrier.

That's exactly how I configured my own and I believe this is what you meant and need to do on her phone unless I've misinterpreted something you meant.


I am 20/F on benefit living at home, I want to pay housekeeping out of it but the cash machine says I have reached my personal limit and haven't any funds. However my bank statement says I have money paid in from the benefit office and have paid off my overdraft.

How can I access my money? Also would like to do some last minute shopping for loved ones before Christmas as used my last bit on small gifts for my family and partner. (link)
Speak to a teller at the bank. Tell them that the ATM will not allow you to withdraw money saying "no funds available" and "personal limit reached."

My suspicion is that there's a cap on your account that you can only take out X amount at an ATM a day as there is with almost all accounts. Usually you can use your ATM card for purchases in stores etc. or shopping but if you want more than the daily limit you have to see a teller in person.

However, if your bank statement says you have money and the machine says ZERO than that's a totally different thing that you need to contact your bank manager about and your case worker over as they put the money in obviously and there most be a hold of some kind in releasing it.

It's odd but I would venture to think that it's just a cap on what the ATM will allow to be dispensed based on the info you gave us. Either way investigate it further at the branch and with the benefits office if they can't explain it.


I am 20 and i have a problem of shivering at crowded places,giving presentations or when i have food in party's.I want to get rid of my shiver because it is very embarrassing for me to tackle with this.I need advice! (link)
ADDITIONAL: I'm not a doctor but they must have sent you to a nuerologist to rule out certain causes to do with the brain. See what results they come up with. If they come up with nothing than consult a doctor about it being anxiety related which it sounds as it only happens at certain times. The doctor treating you must have seen something the neurologist was needed for.

ORIGINAL:


You're much better off than you think. Most people have no idea what triggers their tremor. You seem to know yours.

If anyone at work says something or looks at you funny tell them it's a side-effect of your medication that you can't control. As to excuse yourself for a few minutes, get some water and come back. You should privately tell your boss that you have a medical issue (don't say what) that causes tremors as a side-effect of medication.

That will get him/them to understand because a lot of tremors though not the one you have are related to medicine side-effects. If you told them that it's medical they'll get it.

In the case of it being medicine causing the reaction you can regulate it by drinking a ton of water and watching if your hands feel shaky and top off with water. It reduces the chance if you are well-hydrated of the tremor happening.

That's what most people are dealing with but you're different. Yours is caused by irrational and paralyzing fear of crowds, presenting in front of others and certain social situations.

Your problem is an anxiety disorder where you panic. In that case you need to see a psychiatrist and have them figure out all your triggers and how to combat this through counseling and medication. Things will go a lot smoothly once you see a doctor as it's 100% a medical problem.

What you have to do in the meantime is build a mantra in your head that you repeatedly tell yourself while presenting, at parties or in a crowd that A)I know the material B)They want to know what I know about it and C)They cannot hurt me or it cannot hurt me. If you keep doing that you can relax.

If you feel the tremor or fear setting in remind yourself that it's irrational and nonsense and if it persists or becomes all encompassing find a place to be alone and put your head between your legs and start breathing in and out until it subsides. This puts a stop to feelings of the room closing in on you or spinning among other things. You'll be okay provided you seek out a doctor.


I need extreame help on how to stop binging problems thank-you and have a nice day!!! (link)
You didn't mention if you binge and purge but regardless my advice would be the same. Please tell your parents or an adult you trust be it a counselor, teacher, relation, friend's parent, instructor etc.

Once you tell you will need medical intervention and to allow them to treat your problem. You will likely also see a psychiatrist as this problem is like a disease and convinces you to do this and wasn't your fault. The doctors know how to counter what drives you to binge.


See I'm hanging out with my friend (if she says yes) on Friday. One of my old friends found out and is angry at me. The thing is she never invites mi anywhere and tellls mi how much fun she has with people. It's super rude. Also when I ask we to hand out, she does nothing but text. I want to hang out with my friend and its really pissong me off (link)
NOBODY has a right to say, imply or influence you NOT to hang out with anyone else. It's your choice to hang out with whomever you please and not hers. Why does she have the audacity to be angry? It doesn't make sense.

She doesn't even act like a real friend and gives you the cold shoulder, never invites you anywhere or completely blows you off. How can she expect you or anyone else she's put in this situation to react?

I'm not certain but maybe the anger has to do with who your new friend is rather than you yourself. You owe her no explanation about why you want to hang with someone else.

You should however, talk to her and put her in her place and try to gauge where the real anger is coming from as something isn't right and hasn't been for a long time. Trust me her resentment runs deep and must be a long stemming thing. Tell her what you told us about her fun with others etc.

I would disregard her after that and hang out with the other friend who seems to want to include you. This girl doesn't act like a friend so why bother with her nonsense? Save yourself the aggravation and do as you were with this other girl.


Hi I am 12/F
My mom always gives my sister stuff. She got a present. And I didn't. I tried telling her but then she just yell at me. Pleas help. I can't go on any longer. From crying me (link)
How old is this sister? I'm going to bank on her being younger. Even if she's older my advice to you won't change much.

Have you ever thought to yourself that your sister may be a tad needier than you of mom's constant affection and showing of that? Maybe these presents could be guilt for not being there or more likely given to show her affection when in fact she shows the same amount to you but in different ways. That's likely it.

The yelling may stem from frustration with you not understanding that you are more mature and don't need to be given presents in the same manner and or she sees it as just complaining.

I would think of all the good things your mom gives you instead of material possessions and see that although you don't have a new toy in your hand that she's giving the same love. She expects you to act more mature.

What would I do? I would approach her when she's in a good mood. Tell her that you know she loves you and your sister equally and may not have a lot of cash but that your feelings get hurt when your sister is rewarded for nothing and you aren't.

As long as you keep it civil and mature and not a whining and angry, accusatory conversation she'll be able to deal with your concerns without any yelling. I guarantee you that everything will be okay.


i have got these small red sort of thing on my hand
they don't itch
and are very small like a ant has bit me or something
they are a couple of them on both my hands

could it be an std?
because of oral sex? (link)
I highly doubt it. It sounds more like a rash or skin irritation. An allergy to something. Have you been using lotion that contains perfume, or soap that has traces of it on your hands? It's winter have you been wearing new gloves? Fabric you are allergic too could cause a rash.

Are you on any new medications or even longstanding exposure? Quite often what happens is a rash on the hands or legs as a side-effect that comes and goes.
You know your body best and if concerned you should mention it to a doctor for peace of mind.


Hello ladies! I've been reading some stories about miscarriages and finding out at the first ultra sound the baby isn't viable. My husband and I are so excited for this baby. Our first ultra sound is Dec 19th and these stories are starting to get me worked up. What if my baby isn't developing, what if this or that. I do have menstrual like cramps and i've been told thats the uterus growing and it's pretty frequent so does that mean the baby is still at least growing? Sorry i'm a first time mom and quite scared about everything! (link)
It's understandable that you're scared having never experienced pregnancy before. I think you're doing yourself a real disservice by reading those stories and letting it enter your thinking and consume your thoughts. Yes, those things happen, but rarely and won't with you.

When it comes to this or anything medical if you thin what if this, that, or the other thing is wrong instead of dealing with what is or being in the now will work you up so much when nothing was. Try to relax. I'm sure it's all fine and you'll see it at the ultrasound.

Who told you about the cramps though? If a doctor explained that to you I wouldn't worry but if it really is bothering you call your ob/gyn and tell him/her what's going on so you can be at ease.


I havnt used a tampon before but my friends asked me to go swimming with them. My period only started this morning but swimming is tomorrow afternoon. Im scared about using a tampon but I know that saying no to swimming is a stupid thing to do. What should I do? (link)
This link to the Being Girl site should prove helpful to you. There's a video with medical diagrams explaining how they are inserted.

Your best bet is to talk to your mother or an older female about this tonight. It may be embarrassing but if you explain that you can't go swimming or do certain sports etc. etc. because you don't know how to use one or are scared of them or whatever I'm sure she will give you guidance on how to handle the situation.

Alternatively, if you're really, really close to this friend telling her the truth shouldn't be that big of a deal or that you have cramps etc. But, if you want to go I'd talk to your mom, visit this link and see if you feel like going or not afterward or trying to do it.

http://www.beinggirl.com/article/how-to-insert-a-tampon/

Another good site with articles on this and puberty in general is www.scarleteen.com

Also, don't be embarrassed as every single girl has had to deal with this issue or will and likely all your friends going to swimming will know exactly how you feel if you're close and open to talking about it. That's another outlet to find support and advice from. Your peers. Good luck. Let us know if you went. It really shouldn't stop you from going and having a great time.


18/f
I just got my vaginas vertical hood piercing. My question is, will this provide stimulation for me at all? Apparently I should have gone with the horizontal hood piercing. If anything would I be able to get the horizontal once my vertical heals? (link)
This link to Ask Alice should help http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/0540.html


I am stuck between my family and my love.
He is very nice guy but with poor background.
My parents are not allowing me to marry with him.
I love both alot but nervous regarding my family's opinion. (link)
Family will always be there but this person may not. You never mentioned what exactly your parents don't like him over. Did he inadvertently offend them?

Does he not have university or college education? Is he unemployed? Does he have a shady background, lack character or has a criminal past? I wish you had elaborated.

Is this a cultural/religious issue? I'm asking because in some faiths unless both people are of that culture, religion it shames the family unless they convert or marriage is forbidden. Perhaps if that's the case he could convert.

You never mentioned your age. If you are an adult nobody can make you marry or not marry him it should always be your choice. However, if they have enough valid reason(s) against marrying him maybe they see what you haven't.

I don't think you have to choose between them and him but don't see even despite their scorn why both can't co-exist together. If you did have to choose family would have to win out because you'll need them no matter what especially if your relationship went south.


Its Been A Couple Days After My Last Period ( About 5 ) And I Started Noticing That I Have A Whitish-Yellow Discharge Almost Everyday Since . Is This Just A After Affect From My Period ? Or Is It Something Too Worry About? I've Never Had A Yeast Infection But I've Had A Bladder Infection .. But I'm Not Hurting In That Area Or Anything . (link)
This is normal provided it's that color and doesn't have a repugnant odor or cause burning and itching. If you aren't sure about it mention it to an older female you trust or see a doctor. Judging from what you mentioned it's normal.


Hi!
I'm kind of getting tired of my cell phone (LG Octane) and would like to switch to an older classy flip (LG vx5200) because it's so classy looking. I'm kind of scared that if i switch my mom will get mad, and that i won't be able to switch back. I rlly want to, but i don't want to in a way. (link)
You need to do some research and establish what you really want before approaching anyone. Please do not try to switch the phone without your parents knowing. If they pay for the phone and have a plan they must be the one to alter it. In fact, the provider won't let you.

In fact, you may not be able to get it anyways. Most plans stipulate when you can and cannot make upgrades on your service and switch phones. That has to be looked into as there may e nothing you can do yet.

If it's your own phone and you alone hold the contract then you can do what you want provided you fall into their upgrade schedule. Talk to your parents because they'll know what can and cannot be done based on the contract they signed. Once researched and completely sure and there are no hurdles you can get what's right for you.


I recently made a suicide attempt but failed coz the rope snapped off.now i am in a dilemma whether to kill myself or go on with life.i dont feel confident of having a successful future nor do i have the guts to attempt suicide again.i am confused. (link)
I'm extremely glad you weren't successful. No matter what situation you are dealing with it can change for the better in ways you never dreamed. You have no idea what could transpire in the future that could be amazing.

You can't see it right now but your fortunes could change instantly. There are tons of things to live for. Your problem is a mental health one and likely clinical depression or another disorder. Once you are assessed by a psychiatrist and are on medication your life will eventually return to normal.

Here's what you need to do and it will be hard but must be done. Tell an adult you trust be it a teacher, parent, aunt, uncle or whomever that you nearly killed yourself and need professional help and let them get it for you.

Alternatively, you can walk into any hospital waiting room (which is where you will have to go anyway) and tell their on-call psychiatrist that you tried to kill yourself and the reason.

He or she is there to help you. It may not seem it at the time but trust me doing this will bring you to a normal life. They will provide the proper counseling and medication and help you regain control over time.

Here's the thing not to be worried over: the hospital by law must hold anyone who tried to kill themselves for 72 hours to properly observe and diagnose. They may keep you longer but the good part is you get a rest and your life put back together in the end. It's worth it. Though never suicidal I went trough this twice and came out better than I was before I had a problem. You owe it to yourself to get the help you need.

Bottom line: Get medical help because no matter the situation you can recover from it and have a normal life. Nothing's worth dying for and won't solve a thing. You would pay the ultimate price for a situation that despite what you believe is solvable.


ok im a female and only 18 but i do know a little about cars well just really mine and my parents' but yesterday i went out to warm my car up for work and it is parked on a hill, on the side of a street, and when i parked my gas light was on but i should of had enough gas to warm it up and gets down the road for gas but after it warmed up for maybe 5 mins it like stalled and my "check engine" light oil light and battery light came on.. now is it that im out of gas and just need some gas cuz of the hill or is there someone else thats worse wrong? I checked all the fluids and there fine. Please help me.
Sleepiesheep (link)

You need to take your car to a mechanic. Describe to them exactly what you told us and get them to look it over and tell you the costs for repairs if any are needed.

I'm not a mechanic but am reasonably sure that no matter if you park the car on a hill or on a flat surface that it would register that there is fuel in the tank and start.

Check engine lights have a habit of coming on in older cars and can be just a censor problem triggering a false warning and or could actually be serious. You just don't know but if it's frequent check it out at a garage.

If you were out of gas the engine wouldn't have started. If you ran out while driving you would know as it would been binging with a warning first and then clonk. You'd also know with the gauge being at E. Clearly it was some other reason and if it persists past this once a mechanic needs to see it.




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