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im considering suicide
im bipolar and have lost my job with no money coming in and no hopes of finding a job where I live in this small rural area.My mother-in-law is trying to break up my marriage of 27 years to my wife all over a small piece of land that was promised to my wife by her now dead father.My daughter has a life of her own now and my wife never wants to talk anymore.the mortgage company and electric company is at my door ready to diconnect power and throw me out.If im gone motherinlaw will help my wife so I see no other option.Please pray for them after Im gone
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There is no reason to end your life over material things. The mortgage company wants the house back? Give it to them. It will be just one more of hundreds they can't unload and one less thing for you to worry about along with the utility bill. You will find some place else to live, that I'm sure of once you are relieved of the stress of dealing with the bank.
Tell you mother in-law that after 27 years you and your wife are a package deal. If she can't see you are ill and need help then she needs to see a doctor as well. I suggest you tell her that exactly as I wrote it. Don't let her bully you in to killing yourself. She is not worth dying for. Material things are not worth dying for.
Next if you are not seeing a psychiatrist you need to see one. If you are see one you need to be totally honest with him or her if you wish to get well. Tell the doctor you have suicidal thoughts and if you have a plan the the doctor needs to know that as well.
Bipolar disorder is the worst type of depression to suffer from. As you wrote to us you were down. Ten minutes later you could be on an ultra high. If as you are reading this you are still considering suicide stop reading and call 911 for help. Otherwise call your doctor's office and tell them you are in crisis. If you don't have a doctor go to the nearest emergency room or call 911.
You have problems yes. Those problems are not unresolvable to any point. Your mother in-law is an ass you need to stand up to. When you do she will back down. Bully's always do.
Don't worry about the material things. When you get the proper treatment you need and stay compliant with the treatment you can start building your life again and start replacing the material things.
All is not lost. You are just seeing then through the fog of depression. Recognize this and take action that clears up the fog so you can regain your life. I too speak from experience. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. You just have to keep walking towards that light.
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I can see you're under a lot of stress and it can be tough at times but as I have said before suicide is NEVER the answer. Everyone has tough times, its hwo you get through it that makes you stronger. Right now things are going on but its best to try and keep a positive mind and I know its hard. Believe I've been at times in my life where I think negatively and it gets me no where but it makes me feel a hell of a lot worse. What you need to do is step back and have a plan. Look for another job maybe a temp job at the moment so that you have money coming in. Try to stay positive and please try and talk to someone.
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First of all you would never have bothered to write in if you truly wanted to kill yourself. You wrote because you yearn to end the situation you are in and move forward. Right now you're stymied but things will improve if you hang in there.
You have to hang in as dying over situations that can change on a dime is not the answer. You can't see that now as the illness is telling you differently.
I've been where you are at. I had a great career and life developing in 2003. I had just graduated when bipolar disorder turned my world upside down like a hurricane. I relapsed due to the fact I was allergic to medication they put me on a year after.
They told me that my life would improve drastically and be better than before but it took a long time to see that. And yes, my life in many ways has changed but I've had so many positive experiences from it and opportunities for further education and re-direction of career I wouldn't have experienced otherwise.
What you need to do is level with your psychiatrist. Tell him or her that you often feel thoughts of suicide and that your mortgage company is set to kick you out, that there is no power in the house and you are in debt to your eyelids.
Also tell him that your wife and her family are driving you insane and not allowing you to get better over this stupid bullshit land deal. It's her problem and she must deal with it without you.
Although it is drastic you have to put you and your health above her and all else in your life. If things are destroying your health to the point you want to die you need to stick a fork in the marriage and leave. Health comes first and you'll never progress in that environment.
You have to rebuild your life and do the leg work in conjunction with what your shrink asks of you. This person can actually find bursaries, funding and benefits to help you live and employment options for when you are stable that you may not know even existed. They will not allow you to become delusional again or sink under the weight of these problems. Talk to them.
What I'm urging you to do right now is to go the hospital and tell them you have suicidal thoughts, bipolar and life is falling apart and get admitted there.
Your psychiatrist will keep you there until you get better and keep you safe from others and harming yourself. This will give them the time they need to figure out how to save your life, improve it and make sure you succeed. You have to be brutally honest with them about the state of your life right now. Things will get better as I'm proof that they do. You need help and have to reach out for it. I wish you well.
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