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ok so im really confused about my "USE TO BE" friend lk ok freshman year thats when i met her n it was a great year me n her n my other friends n we'd do stuff togetha n same during the summer until this year started sophmore year ok so we'd have lunch togetha n talk lk wat did we do the day before or during the weekend so everytime i said what i did it seem lk she was always makeing up wat she did jus to be better and it really pissed me off lk she started getting worst and every time it was lunch we'd meet at the bathrooms n she'd always look at wat i was wearing?!?! jus constantly staring at me did she think i didnt notice well that pissed me off as well i duno if its me or its her that she just wants to be so cool but another thing that really is pissing me off is the subject "FRIENDS" what i mean is it was like everytime i talked about my other friends she'd interupt me and tell me something about supposly her friends because she doesnt have any since she moved to my school her freshman year n its only her second year here well still what im trying to get to is.....that i jus keep thinking she is makeing up all this stuff rite? bout her friends *ahem* or jus lk anything if i tell her i went to this party on halloweeen n she'd go oh yea it was crzy i went with all my friends and didnt get home till 4am i was like? ok i didnt say nething cz i knew it was a lie cz on my bday we spent the night at a hotel n her parents didnt let her n told her she had to b home by 11:30 cz shes not aloud out ...so i duno if this makes sence but i duno wat to do cz now we dont eat lunch we dont talk at all and every time i see her i go hey n she jus keeps walking and ignores me i dont give but it bugs me how shes being sucha *****
thanks, pissed girl (link)
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dear pissed girl,
well that is very maddening. i can see why your angry, i would be too. why is she looking at you to see what your wearing? it seems to me like this chick has some serious issues when it comes to self-confidence and is trying to be cool and fit in. let her know that she shouldnt have to "fit in" with you, that your her friend and you arnt going to judge her. of course, that is if you really feel that way and want to save this friendship. if she ignores you, ask her why shes doign it. if she does it to look "cool" than little miss i-want-to-be-cool-and-popular is so not worth your time and energy. its her vote if she wants to make up stories about having some fab social life. i dont know why shes doing it but if its to try to impress you, its def not working. have a talk with her about it. if she denies it and tries to start a fight over it, dont waste your energy on this friendship. if shes smart and dosesnt want to lose a good friend she'll come back.. if not, its her loss. dont make it your problem. shes the one who needs to get her priorities straight.
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why is it that whenever your in a bad mood, guys think your pmsing? its so ridiculous. everyones having a bad day, and just because its a girl thats having the bad day, its that time of the month. even if it isnt! its soo irritating. (link)
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hahaha i LOVE this question!!! i can totally relate!!! i have bad days all the time, and guys are like, geeze whats your problem? are you on your period or something? only my best guy friends can figure out when its actual pmsing (i get that bad too! lol) or when im just plain MAD at the world. i always hate it when guys think im pmsing and im so not. thank the Lord someone sees the light with me! seriously though, i think guys are just dumb. mayb God should have given THEM their period, and see how THEY like it? and as much as it sucks, we cant change guys for thinking that way :-( o well..i say have all the bad days you want and forget about guys giving you crap for it. boys are stupid. lol
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SO, what is the best way to tell if your feelings for a person are friendly or more?? (link)
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hmm lets see. there are several ways to do this, and im not sure if there is any one best way, because they al seem to work for me. one way to tell is to name three things about this person that you like/love. if you can do that easily, then you def have a friendship. but now how do you know if its more? well how fast did you come up with these reasons.. and, be honest, did u smile when thinking about them? did a certain memory come to mind that made you happy? if yes, then you could be crushing. now be totally honest with yourself, no1 knows your thinking about it, but roughly how many times a day do you think about this person? if the answer is 5 times or more.. well you know. and when do you think about this person? is it at random times or specific times? what do you think of when you think about this person? are they good things, things that probably bring out the better side of this person that you like/love to see? do you ever find yourself daydreaming about this person? do your daydreams include the two of you together? and do you ever dream at night of this person? dreams are a way of our subconscious mind helping us out with what we really feel. if you answered yes to most of these questions, then you are definietly more than friendly with this person. which could be a very very good thing if you make it happen. so get out there and let them know how you feel!! mayb a relationship will come of it.. now wouldnt that be great?
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ok so im going out with this guy. and hes nice and we're close. but some nights, like tonight we really get onto each other. it just seems like everything that is said makes the other feel guilty about something or another. and im one of those ppl who cant sleep if im in a fight and so i try to work it out with him before he has to go...but it seems like when its not perfect, he watns nothing to do with me until everything's fine. i dunno what to do! tara help me!
*wondering whats wrong* (link)
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haha good question.. why DO guys make us feel like crap? idk, sometimes i wonder the same thing myself. but thats not true of all guys. some guys dont make me feel like crap, some guys are pretty cool and are my good friends.. sometimes more. it sounds to me like you havnt found yourself one of these guys yet. your guy cant seem to stand the fact that when you fight everything goes wrong, so he walks away. thats a no-no. when he walks away, the problem goes unsolved, and that creates an ever bigger problem in the long run, causign you to have more unsolved fights.. etc etc.. you see how dysfunctional that can be?! what causes your fights? if it seems to be the same thing over and over, then get to the root of the problem by having a calm discussion. if you two cant do that, then dont give up all hope, but you are both going to have to work really hard to keep the rleationship balanced and healthy. if you are willing to do that, then congratulations to you two! if not, you may want to rethink this relationship. the best way is to talk it out, but even if you cant do that, its time to say goodbye, there are plenty of other guys out there who can make you feel like the Queen of England rather than just a maid cleaning in the Queens castle.. if you catch my drift. good luck!
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Hey tara. ok well i have this little problem that could get very bad. i have a wonderful boyfriend. i really like him alot and he's so amazing and treats me well and is just all around good. but...ive cheated on him...twice with this guy ive liked since i was about 11 from church. and i dunno why i did or even how i got myself into the situation...i didnt give this other guy any tip offs that i was interested in him. i just treated him like i do all my other friends. but that doesnt really matter. im just worried that my boyfriend, who i told after the first time, will find out about the second time and break up with me. which i guess i deserve but it doesnt make it easier...and i dunno if i should tell my boyfriend about the second time or not. if i dont tell him chances are very high that he will not find out. i just feel bad keeping this from him...what should i do?
(link)
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yikes. that is a bad sitaution. you say you didnt give this guy any "tip offs" but it takes two people to cheat, the person who is cheating and the person they are cheating with, so even if you didnt give him any "tip offs", you still did something because you cheated with him.. and he helped you cheat right back. does he know that you have a boyfriend? more importantly, WHAT ON EARTH posessed you to cheat on your boyfriend.. with the same guy.. TWICE?? especially if hes the nice incredible guy you described he was.. he def didnt deserve to be cheated on. if you are going to cheat on your boyfriend you might have to rethink your relationship. you might be with your boyfriend because hes obviously very good to you and he seems like perfect sense.. but its totally chaos and doesnt make any sense if you are not going to be fair to him. it was very good to tell him the first time, and if i was him i would be very mad. it was also very good of him to take you back, even i understand that people make mistakes and dont know what they want and all of that stuff, and your young (at least i think you are) and therefore you dont have any marriage commitment or anthing liek that, so you can be free and explore your options.. but not twice. in a relationship you cant have that much freedom. if it was me, i would tell him. but im not you, so whatever choice you make im sure will be the right one. good luck.. hope all goes well and you get to keep your boyfriend
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ok...soOo i miss how the old days use to b...u c i have moved several times in my day and have been to several different schools. and everytime i move, it seemes to be harder and harder to make really great friends... it seems like everybody has their own little "clicks" at hooch and it is hard to fit in...sometimes i wish that i had never moved cuz i really miss what i use to have with my old friends...dont get me wrong i mean i do have friends now but they r nothing like wat i use to have...i honesty wish i could have not moved and for that i always wonder how my life could have been defferent
PLEASE tell me how i can get a close relationship again with my friends... (link)
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haha yes, hoochie is FULL of cliques. and theyr tough to get into.. and sometimes you dont want to get into them. let me give you some advice... ok that was a stupid remark because duh, thats what you asked me for, advice, otherwise you woudlnt have come to my sight in the first place lol. im a cheerleader at hooch, as u obviously know, but that doesnt mean i just hang out with "the crowd" as my friends are commonly known. yes, i have tons of friends that are fball players and cheerleaders (which is, stereotypically what "the crowd" consists of)i have friends who do other sports (an example is XC.. a lot of my friends run) and then friends who play diff sports and arnt in "the crowd" adn friends who dont play a sport at all. i have friends who are preps, i have friends who are jocks, i have friends who have very strong Faith and friends who are atheist.. ok so to make a long story short, i have a lot of friends from a lot of different "cliques" and i love them all equally. and i "fit in" with them. they accept me for the person i am because i can be real with them. i know that theyr my real friends because they are caring, they listen when needed, give advice when needed, and most importantly they never judge. they dont see me as lesser of a person because i made a mistake. instead, they help me correct my mistakes. i know i can be myself around them. and if you just want to "fit in" then i am telling you to find friends like mine. whatever you do, dont give in to peer pressure. say people are smoking or drinking (i know i sound like im preaching here and im some anti-drug campaign spokesperson but bear with me here) whatevr you do, dont give in becaues every1 else is doing it. are they really your REAL friends if they pressure you? no! and do you feel good about giving in? no! so dont. be yourself around everyone, if they accept you great! you have a new friend and your relationship will strengthen over time. if they dont accept you, that sucks for them cuz your probably a great person and its their loss. you dont need them.
now, if you want to make more friends here, i have a corny, but true saying. "the only way to have a friend is to be a friend." start inviting people to go out on a friday or sat night, go to the mall with girlfriends, have a movie night with a big group, go out to dinner.. etc etc. the possibilities are endless. the point is actually doing htem. once you invite people places, they invite you to do stuff. confide in your friends. letting them into your life and showing them that your willing to open up and let them in makes them feel special, and they will let you into their life too.
definitely keep in touch with your old friends, and continue to strenghten the bonds with your new ones. every friend is good for at least one reason. you need both sets of friends, old and new for just that purpose. and yes, moving sucks! but think of it this way, if you hadnt moved, you wouldnt have met me, and you wouldnt be asking me this advice which im not sure is going to help you but im really trying lol. but, i hope it does. im all out of words and wisdom.. thanks for asking, friend!
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ok well this kid is obsessed with me n i dont like him. i like this other kid n the boy who is obsessed with me knows tht. hes trying to tell the kid i like to make me not like him nemore. imnot going to b/c i like him n he cant do tht. please help me i dont know wht to do? should i tell me i dont like him again? the guy i like likes me a little too. what do i do i nedd help. (link)
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hmmm that is a problem. ive been there before and its not fun (yes i know your thinking, wow who in their right mind would like tara? haha but it happens to the best of us, even me lol). first off, has he told you he likes you? if he has and hes asked you out or anything, were you very clear in your let-down? do not make up any excuses, tell him straight up that your sorry but you can't. dont be like, " o well i have to babysit" becuase he'll try again, even if you really do have to babysit. if you think you've been clear in signaling him to go away, and the poor guy STILL doesnt get the hint, than you have to tell him straight up your not into him. if hes just so dumb and doesnt get it even THEN.. than you may have to resort to "Queen Ice Bitch" which stinks a whole lot. but if theres nothing else you can do.. and i mean ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, youve TRIED EVERYTHING.. only THEN can you resort to this terrible method, which includes giving him the cold shoulder. say he comes up to your locker for instance. rather than starting a conversation with him, say a few words, close your locker, and call a goodbye over your shoulder. (yes its mean i know, but what else can you do if youve done everything you can?)if you see him in the hall, dont smile and wave him over.. quickly avert your eyes and keep on stepping as if you never saw him (OUCH i know.. but again, only if hes too dumb to realize you DO NOT LIKE HIM)
ok next..this kid is trying to make the guy you wanna be with not like you.. understandable, hes jealous, of course. if you tried all of the above methods and it hasnt worked, PLEASE feel free to use "Queen Ice Bitch" because this guy is a jerk and deserves it. i mean, if he cares for you he should want you to be happy. and if being happy means you get to be with this other guy, then why is he interfering with your happinesS? tell the guy you do like that you like him.. wow i know its hard but if he likes you and you dont want to let him get away, suck it up and tell him. work up the confidence beforehand, play a little of your favorite music and get an idea of what you want to say to him in your head beforehand. then, if your too nervous to do it in person, take a deep breath, pick up the phone, and dial. things should def start looking up, and if you start dating this guy you like, the other one will be forced to leave you alone.
hope this helped at least some.. good luck!
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umm ok i feel wierd bout doing this...but i have never had a boy friend b4 and i really wanna touch a penis...so sumtimes a play with my self and stuff...is dat wrong? (link)
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theres nothing wrong with have never having had a boyfriend but about your other concerns.. uhhh... i myself do not practice self-induced orgasms but if you want to then go ahead.. whatever floats your boat i guess.. but i wouldnt go around telling people about it.. thats something you keep on the DL..
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dear tara, i hooked up with a guy and now he doesnt talk to me at all.i mean we never talk but its kind of ackward when i see him in the halls..what should i do??? PLEASE HELP (link)
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I don't know exactly what to tell you, because I have been in the same situation myself before, and it was never resolved. But its worth a shot, so here is my advice to you: You hooked up with him, and he hooked up with you. The feeling there was obviously mutual, correct? Correct. But here is where things get tricky and unmututal, if you know what I mean. Do you like this guy? Would you ever consider dating him or going out with him? And what are his feelings towards you? If you know that he is into you for sure, and you're into him, then go talk to him! Ask him why he has been distant lately. Maybe you are both just feeling awkward and after the hook up didn't know what to do. If that's the case, then you two need to talk it out. But if he is just a jerk who used you to hook up, then he is SO not worth your time. FORGET HIM. There are plenty of other good fishies in the sea, and it's been lovely weather for fishing lately! Good luck!
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TARA...
Why do ppl change?
Why do ppl Lie?
Why do ppl act like ppl they r not?
~*~PLEASE HELP ME....I WISH THE WAY THINGS USE TO BE~*~ (link)
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i dont know, i dont know, and i dont know. i guess its the way people are. its human nature, and it SUCKS but i cant explain it. theres BILLIONS of reasons for ALL those questions. i guess you just have to think about which ones apply to you.
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alright so i hooked up with this guy this one night..and i didnt know him at all.he was my best friends boyfriends bestfriend...and he doesnt talk to me at school.and i just think its all very ackward..what should i do?> (link)
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yea, that can be very awkward when you hook up with somebody and then barely talk to them again. do you try talking to him? if you don't, then maybe the feelining is mutual. maybe he thinks you are the one not talking to him. or he thinks its just a one time thing and wont ever happen again, and doesnt want to bring it up. as much as that sucks, guys can be big buttholes with stuff like that, and yes, they do hook up with a girl and then drop her like a hot potato. OR he could really like you, and is embarrassed and doesnt know how to talk to you. if thats the case, why don't you try being the one to start the conversations and flirt with him. how about doing that not just for that case.. but talk and flirt with him anyway. if your'e really into this guy.. you'll get your message across. and how fun would it be for all of you to double date? after all, your all best friends! give it one more shot, and if it doesnt work out, it simply was just a hookup and wasnt meant to be. dont stress.. theres plenty more guys out there who would love to be with you.
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how do u spell dog (link)
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i'm not even going to lecture on the immaturity of this question..
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my mom doesnt belive me with anthing. she told me she doesnt trust me with my little brother or anyone in my family. i dotn understnad why this is happenign to me. i thought i was a good person. i mest up and now my whole life is fallign down on me. i dont knwo what to do. whats wrong with this place. i thought your family was the one thing u were always suppsoe to have to have ur back.... no matter what. i dont knwo what to do right now. i mess up once and my whoel family freaks out on me. some kidan relationship huh? (link)
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hey baby.. don't worry about it. it will ALL fall back into place. thats kind of an oxymoron, isnt it. "falling into place." but thats the best darn way to describe it. you mom is probaly stressed out of her mind with a BUNCH of stuff right now, and she was counting on you to help her out. yea, shes pissed, and you may have made some wrong choices, but try proving to her just how good you can be. and if this is only the first time youve messed up, you still have your moms trust. its a one time thing. shell cool down.. eventually. in the meantime, smile, put on a happy face, and try your hardest to make every day count. i know it sounds cheesy, but it really does help. also, you could try venting in a PRODUCTIVE way.. meaning no punchin the wall in a fit of rage lol. something tells me your already awesome at this though.. so keep up the good work. ur awesome.. dont ever forget that.
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Why r guys such asses?!?!?! there soooooooo judgemental n gay n just either want sex n stuff like that NEVER a relationship AHHHHHHHH
~*Boy Hater*~ (link)
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dear Boy Hater..
i have no clue. guys are BUTTS. and i dont know why. it will alwyas be a mystery, i guess.. sucks for us grls doesnt it? :-/
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ok.. so im really confused i have this one guy friends weve known each otha for 3 years now..n were so close we tell each otha everything but dan i found out he started likein me n i was confused cz he started saying i love you like 24/7 callin me 24/7 n he was lke completley obssesed n dan if he'd say hi n i'd have to go so i'd say gotta go he'd write back YESS!!!!!!! AT LEAST I GOT TO TALK TO U!!!! that made my day..im like? oookk n i sent him an email explainin to him that i loved him but jus as a friend afta that email things changed i guess he wasnt cool wit us jus beein friends so dan he gets mad at me n starts acting different..i talk to him bout it n he said his over me now "which i doubt" but then my otha friend comes a long n suddenly one day he starts sayin he loves her n that their best friends im liek how can u kno her so well u've talked to her jus once! (cz shes my friend n i introduced them) so they went to the movies n he came on to her n she doesnt like him at all but he does n since that started happenin now every time me n him talk get into this huge argumenT! we bearly talk now but wat bugs me da most is that i feel jealous? why i dont lke him at all! deff not as a bf n i kno that but dan why does it bug me so much that him n my friend r like really good friends n his always sayin i love u to her n tellin her eveyrthin liek he use to tel me but not nemore................whats goin on? i really dont kno n im srry for makein this so long.
"Desperate" (link)
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dear "Desperate"
first off.. dont apoloogize for making it long! i love reading long ones! plus the longer they are, the more info they contain, the better i can help you! which is what im here for! so lets get to it: if ya'll have been friends for 3 years it sounds like a pretty good friendship. this guy was DEFINITELY obsessing over you, theres no doubt about that. but were you clear in your signals back to him? were u sendign him mixed signals that may have led him on? or did you maybe just not make it clear enough that you could never have a boyfriend/girlfriend relationsip with him? the next thing i have to say is mayb e-mail wasnt the best way to let him down. it def sounds lk this guy has relationship issues and wants to get the first girl he sees. and as for your jealousy, did it ever occur to you that he could be trying to get with your friend in order to make you jealous? and guess what, if thats the case.. his devious little scheme is working. if you know in your heart that you really DONT like him, then you might be jealous because he nevre talks to you anymore. it sounds to me like you used to condide in eachother and had an awesome, communicative realationship, and things between you changed and you lost that ability to talk to eachother. mayb thats whats makeing you so upset.. the fact that he doesnt talk to you and you miss that. if thats the case.. i think you two have a LOT of catching up to do. and this time, do it person if possible.. or over the phone. absolutely NO email or instant messaging. talk to him. you guys have a lot to get off your chests. hope this helps you!
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Hey Tara...so i used to go to this one school where i had a ton of amazing friends but when i moved schools i started making new friends and my old ones hated me for making new ones and i kept thinking to myself that if they would my true friends they would support my move and give me a chance to make some new friends and know that i still love them and be friends w/ them...but they didnt and they all got mad at me and i didnt know what to do so now im not friends with any of them and i really want 2 be b/c i miss them all they were such great friends! what should i do? (link)
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hmm.. u keep on saying how great these friends of yours were.. if they were mad at you and didnt support you when you moved.. are they REALLY your true friends? and did you make an effort to keep in touch with them? its hard to see people that your friends with from other schools, but try and make time for them, and they will try and make time for you if they are really your friends. they shouldnt be mad or jealous that you have new friends, they should be happy for you that your doing so well! why dont u try telling them how much you love them andhow much they mean to you.. youmight be surprised. they probably love you and miss you also, and they mmightjust be mad because theyr afraid of losing you. let them know that you have a strong frienship and its going to keep on getting stronger.. hope this helps!
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Hey Tara, so I got a real question this time. What ever happened to the days where you and your friends were unseperable, I mean we never had better friends than when we were 10 years old do we?( (link)
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wow.. u made total sense erich. is there someone specific you are referring to? and i dont know what happens between friends. people grow apart i guess. shit happens. it sucks, beleive me i KNOW what its like. ive lost several friendships that i wish i still had because ive been too stupid..i dont know what you mean by people "giving up their status". if your referring to popularity.. then thats BS.. as far as im concerned popularity is when all of your friends know who you are and want to hang out with you.. it doenst matter if people you dont talk to dont know your name.. cuz guess what? you dont talk to them. and as far as the "idiot good-looking person" idea goes.. i will have to agree with you that most of the population chooses the hot guy over the not as hot one.
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Yea i agree with ash. there is this really hot girl walking around school and i cant stop thikning about her. she is in one of my classes and i jsut can't pay attension the fat teacher when this girl named tara is jsut shining with vibrant beauty. i dont know if she takes me seriously when i tell ehr how amazingly amazing she is. help me out. thanks
-Mr. Distracted (link)
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haha ok. i don't know who sent this one.. unless it was ashley again lol. but i think i may have a clue.. and yea our teacher is pretty fat and weird haha. what can i say.. im just so beautiful! jk.. not that conceited lol. idk what to do to help you out.. mayb you should just keep paying attention to my "vibrant beauty" lol. and maybe she can never tell if your really being serious because u talk to her and then other girls and then you take out freshman girls.. its kind of confusing lol.. neways.. see u in the fat ladys class i guess.. haha
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There this really hott grl named tara n she has blond hair and blue eyes and the CUTEST ASS i've ever seen how could i get her?!??!!? I mean i talk 2 her everyday but i can never get up the courage 2 ask her out i bout pee in my pants what should i do??!?!? (link)
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haha i think u should go for it and ask her out!! haha jk im sorry ashley but im just not into you in that way... lmao.. u know i love you
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k so my boyfriend has a really like bad temper and it like so bugs! he'll get pissed and thro something and im like wow dude what the hell are u doing ur freeking crazy! and i dont know how to talk to him about this spastic problem...and its like all wierd...
..Who knows.. (link)
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dear who knows,
ok.. first off, why does ur boyfriend get so mad so often? is there something provoking him or making him angry? are there any repeated occurrences of anger that happen for the same reason over and over again? i know this sounds awful, but i have to say it because it COULD be an option: are YOU doing anything to make him angry? considering your boyfriend gets so angry, confronting him about it in an "up-front, whats ur problem" way might not be the best way to go. is he hurting you by words or physically when he gets angry? if he is, then you might want to reevaluate your relationship and how ur being treated. you could do better. if not, try calming him down. it might sound like baby talk, but soothing words, a soft (not loud and angry)voice can REALLY help.
do you happen to have ANY clue as to whats making him angry? if so, you may be able to help him more than i can by telling you. hope all goes well!
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