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Okay, I have a friend who is sort of my friend, but I haven't known her very long (maybe about 2 years). Our friendship isn't very strong, we talk to each other but not about anything really personal. She talks about herself a lot too, but that's beside the point.

See, I have tickets for this really fun event and she sort of invited herself to come with me. I'm a nice person, so I agreed half-heartedly.

The problem is, I don't think she'll like this event very much because she's highly opinionated and this event goes WAY against what she thinks. But I have a feeling she just wants to go to say that she went and to say that she went with me.

I'd rather go with someone who will appreciate it and truly enjoy it. I feel she won't get the whole effect, I mean, it's a once in a lifetime thing.

I have another person in mind who I really want to go with, but I don't know how to tell the first girl that I don't want her to come with me anymore.I don't want to be mean, but I do want to get my point across.

So how do I tell her that, even if she invited herself, I am univiting her?

allright, first of all, tricky situation...

i mean, first of all, it depends on what type of girl your friend of two years is---does she get hurt easily? will it really hurt your feelings if you uninvite her?

if you have tickets and if you have someone else in mind, you should invite someone who would appreciate it. you're not only thinking of yourself (which is always pretty good to do, you don't want to put yourself into horrible situations,) but you'd be thinking of the person who really wants to go for the event itself, not for the name that the event is giving her. but i would just make sure that the original girl REALLY wouldn't appreciate this event--maybe she'd surprise you and find a new love for it or a new hobby.

as long as you're not horrible to her when uninviting her, she should be able to understand your reasons for wanting to take someone else. just make sure that they're the right reasons, okay? good luck!

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Hey stephanie,
its lost and annoyed again.
you helped me alot last time but now i have another problem and i really don't know what to do, and im hoping you can help.
this "friend" again is really beginning to bother me more and more while im doing my hw. I have a really important paper due and im trying to find information about it and my "friend" basically stays in my room begging to use the internet (our internet is currently hooked up to a cord right now). She needs the internet to download pictures and send emails and i need for hw that is due the next day. Not only that but the privacy thing isn't working anymore. I NEED my privacy, so i lock my door because she never knocks. In order to be able to understand this question a bit better, you must know that my room is connected to my sibling's room with a door. That door does not lock, but my sibling has another door that does lock on the otherside of the room. My sibling doesn't like to get in trouble, so she keeps it unlocked (my parents are strict about that). Well anyways this"friend" gets to the otherside of the door (again without knocking) and intrudes in my personal bubble. My "friend" doesn't understand when i want to have some privacy. and i don't feel right being mean to her and telling her to leave.

please help....
lost and annoyed...

heeey,
i understand about your locking your door, and it's a good idea when you really need privacy and the other person just can't take a hint. have you talked to your parents about your friend getting into your room without your permission and trying to use the internet while your working on a paper? your parents, i assume, would understand the importance of needing information for your paper. also, do you have any print resources that you need to use? you can try looking at your print resources while your friend is on the computer--that way, you're doing work while she's online. you could also try telling her that you really need to be left alone for one or two hours to look up info, and then she can have the computer for the rest of the night--you can do a quick search and print out everything that you find on your topic that might be useful.

you can also remind your friend that she can use your telephone to talk to her friends--phones are a faster way of communication!

i know that you don't want to be mean--and i admire you for that. you can try explaining your situation to her, telling her that you don't want to be mean, but that if she doesn't understand the concept of you needing your privacy, you're going to HAVE to start being rude to her just so that she'll take a hint.

good luck!!!! i hope your paper rocks!

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Stephanie,
My "friend" is staying over my house for like a couple of weeks because of some school/family thing, long story, and she is beginning to annoy me ALOT. She talks so much and on purpose she is always bothering me while im doing my homework (how do i know its on purpose, she basically told me herself). I basically don't have any privacy and she always has to know what is going on, even if its personal, or she will bother me about it all day. I have no idea how i should handle this, can you please help me...

Lost and annoyed.... :/

well, i'm sorry that you're in this situation, it has to be really annoying.
but it also depends on whether you want to hurt this "friend's" feelings or not. you seem like a nice person who wouldn't want to intentionally hurt someone. if he/she has told you that he/she's doing it on purpose, i think that u should discuss it with him/her (wow, i'm gonna call it a she from now on). i wouldn't tell her lies about what's going on, because she might spread them, and i wouldn't be mean to her, because she'll probably just make up rumors about you. if it gets to the point where you really can't stand it, try getting away from her as much as possible, for example, by like telling your mom or dad that you really can't spend that much time with her. if you've been sleeping in the same room, offer to sleep on the couch so that you get some privacy time. take uber-long showers so that you have some more time to yourself--a big part of your annoyance is probably because you're used to being more alone, and now, with someone in your face every single second of every single day, it's hard to take some down-time. maybe, if she's bothering you that much with your homework, you could try to do your homework in a library nearby your house. if you have sisters and/or brothers, you can also try spending time with them (your guest might not want to hang around you so much if you're always with another member of your family). i hope this helps! if it doesn't, just let me know and i'll try to help more.
good luck!

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How can the federal Reserve Board manipulate monetary policy to find solutions to fiscal economic concerns such as deflation, inflation, and unemployment? Thanks!

it can lower and raise interest rates, manipulate the federal reserve that has to be held at banks, and try to keep the economy at 0 % inflation. in doing so, it'll keep our NAIRU from rising, and, becaus there is no long-term philip's curve, unemployment and inflation will, eventually, stop being inversely proportional.
god, i'm wonderful :)

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i like you. do you like me?
-secret admirer

haha well, to b diplomatic, i try to like everyone.
to like u in THAT way i'd have to know who you are.

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ive liked this guy for what seems to be a very long time. he's a little older and we used to have a history, now weve kinda grown apart, but lately i havent been able to get him out of my head. he's like a throbbing pain. my brain is like ba doom ba doom ba doom. i'd like it to stop.

heeeey,

what do you mean by "havent been able to get him out of my head"? if u mean like, u want to start something up again, do you really want to? the only real way that you can stop thinking about him is if you realize that he and you have nothing romantic anymore, except for friendship. stuff like that's really complicated, as you know, especially if the guy is older. i think that you should either talk to him or find another guy to talk to. because you either have to get back together with him, start to dislike him, or find another guy who's also worth your valuable time. good luck!

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What dp ypu think I should do for a Klondike bar?

nice question............i think that you should pay for it and unwrap it. then you can eat it! yay.

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i hate guys.. all the do is RUIN everything for you.. they are SO insensitive and are MAJOR jerks.. i hate them so much. in their own big head they think they can do no wrong when in fact all they ever DO is wrong! why do guys SUCK?!

well, i'm sure that you have a pretty good reason for hating a particular guy...and i'm so sorry, whatever he did, and it is totally unfair when guys hurt you. especially because i'm pretty positive that you didn't deserve to be hurt at all.

but i can't really answer the question why do guys suck, because i don't agree that they suck. hating all guys just because they're guys is putting stereotypes on people...it's like hating all muslims because of september 11th, which really isn't healthy to do. it's not very fair to them, either.

i hope that you can come to terms wit hwhatever this person has done to you...

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stephanie,
i've been best friends with this guy for about a yr, and we have had this amazing friendship. right away when i met him we just clicked, and i knew it would never be more. he shares my sadnesses, my joys, ANY emotion that i'm feeling. (i'm just scared he isnt going to feel this one) i can always go to him with my problems, if i'm upset i can call him up at all hours of the night crying and he'll listen. he gives the best advice.. but i don't think he could help me on this one. because lately i think i want to be MORE than his best friend. i'm so confused because he always helps me with my guy problems. and i always help him with his girl problems. there's this one girl he can't get over and she treated him so badly that i just want to kick her or something.. she hurt him so bad.. and I was hurt with him. and i was insanely jealous of this girl and i couldnt figure it out..that's when i realized that i loved him.. as more than a best friend and i don't know what to do! can you help me?!

*desperate and confused*

hey desperate and confused!

well, first of all, i'm thinking that you should decide if you REALLY like him or if you're just in a position where you want to have a boyfriend. boyfriends can be a lot more fun than friends--u know, they're there when you need them, the occasional kissing, holding hands, being protected bit. if you really like him enough to want to be boyfriend/girlfriend, then you should let him know how you're feeling. i think that you should also let him know that your friendship is too important for you to risk, so if he doesn't think that he has the same feelings for you, you would rather be friends. and also, don't go with him if you think he might just be rebounding from the girl who hurt him so badly. a lot of people would kill for the type of relationship you seem to have with this guy, and i think that your friendship is more important than having a date with him.
and if he says that he doesn't like you back in THAT way, don't be embarrassed or anything---if you're good enough friends, he shouldn't make fun of you or put you down for it. in fact, it's a compliment that you like him. and you never know, things might just work out!
tell me if this helps and keep me updated, k? thanks!

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haha you made an advice column too!! sweet :-) love you!

yesh, i copied you...you win!

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