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Q: Where do I even begin? My name is Shawn and I am seventeen years old. I first realized that I was gay in middle school but have been in denial about it until my sophomore year in high school. Only recently have I been contemplating coming out to my friends and family. I first set aside October 1, 2006 to come out, but it has not happened. I know there are a lot of friends I would lose if they knew the truth. I also have no idea how my parents will react. I think I respect a lot of my friends and family too much to let them down like this. Earlier in the month, I tried coming out to my mother. I virtually broke down in tears in front of her but could not work up the nerve to do so. I eventually ended the conversation with some bogus story about stress at school. I am also pretty much terrified of talking to my father about anything, let alone coming out to him that I am a homosexual.

I find myself bringing up this kind of topic in various conversations with my friends and family. My mother and I began talking about the topic of gay people coming out and she said something very discouraging to me. “I do not see why people come out that they are gay. There is no black and white. Coming out that you are gay causes people to only know you for that.” When I countered this statement, she asked me, “You’re not gay, are you?” I replied, “No,” and I have regretted it everyday since then. I always ask myself how easy it would have been to just have answered, “Yes, mom. I am gay.”

Everyone around me seems to know that something is wrong. People have pointed out that I am not eating and there is lack of emotion in my voice. My mother specifically said that she is only getting one-worded answers from me and feels that we are growing apart. I do not really know what kind of help I am asking for. I just really wish I knew what to do or to know that someone cared, which is impossible since I have not confined this information to anyone. Any suggestions or opinions are welcome. Thank you.

I say, who cares if your gay? Its not a big deal, so many people are homosexual these days, its common. You need to come out and your friends and family will just have to accept the way you are. You won't be letting them down, you will be showing them a fact about you that they didn't know before. If they really care about you, they will continue to care about you even if you are gay. I wouldn't be worried about your mom if I were you. It sounds like she is concerned about the problems you seem to be having and i think she (and you) will be relieved when you do come out.

Q: what do herpies look like? i think i might of gotton the virus from kissing this girl who has herpies, im really freaked out please help!

Herpes is like a rash that doesnt really go away. There are painful itchy blistery sores that turn to ulcers. When a person with herpes has an outbreak, they still have the rash thing but they may have a burning feeling when peeing, swollen glands, fever, headache, fatigue.

If you have these symptoms, you need to go to the doctors. I really hope that you don't have herpes so good luck!

Q: Im trying to be somewhat creative for my bf for this christmas (we've been together for well over a yr & a half by this point) so what i do give him i know he'll appreciate!

I've sewed him fleece PJ's, bought him cute boxers, and now i want to make him a CD with love songs that remind me of him

1) Anyone got any tips on songs?
2) Any other creative idea's (details wanted if possible)

I have no clue what kind of music he likes but here are some:
In this diary- The Ataris
Always- Blink 182
Basically anything from Dashboard Confessional- my favorites are Hands Down and As Lovers Go
Make it Happen- the Early December
We Belong Together- Gavin DeGraw
Theres a lot from Hellogoodbye- my favorites are Here in Your Arms and Oh it is Love
Collide- Howie Day
You're Beautiful- James Blunt
Hear You Me- Jimmy Eat World
Believe me Natalie- the Killers
A lot by Lifehouse- my favorites are Blind and You and Me
I'll be there- Me First and the Gimme Gimmies (they arent the original though)
Crazy Little Thing Called Love- Queen
Only one- Yellowcard

Yeah.. so I hope thats the kind of music he likes.

Q: I'm a sixteen year old female. I have dark, thick hairs down the middle of my stomach below my bellybutton. I'm really self-conscious of it - I can't wear a swimsuit or anything. I've heard that shaving it just makes it darker and thicker (plus, I've shaved it before and it just comes back all stubbly). I've also heard that waxing does the same thing.

Is there any way to get rid of this hair or make it lighter? Is it unhealthy to bleach the hair there (like some people do to upperlip hair)?

Thanks for your advice!

Actually, that could be a disease called like ovarian something. (i could be wrong, but i read it in a magazine) If theres a lot, I would see a doctor. But i think bleaching would be fine.

Q: 15/F
I want to become a penpal with a child in St. Jude's Hospital, or you know, with someone in a charity like that. How can I become one? Anyone know?

Thats a good idea and if you can do it, you should definetly tell me in your feedback and how I can do it. The phone number for St. Judes is (901) 495-3300. And the number for Volunteer Event Fund Raising is (800) 457-2444.

Q: i dont know how to start conversaitions,get into them, and even just talk to people with out feeling nervous. i can talk with like 4 people,but 3 or under and its just hard to start convos. it seems like people dont find me interesting. and i have no idea how to open up and become more interesting.im soo lost. i dont even know what i like!how can i open up and start convos. also become interesting?

Just say whats in your head. Are you craving some pizza? Say it. Haha. Maybe bring up a class or a teacher. Bring up a tv show that they might watch or music they might listen to. Its not that hard, you just need to relax and remember that you can do it!

Q: Im a girl, i dont have a girlfriend or a boyfriend and as i said before, im not 100% sure im gay. The problem is, everytime my parents or anyone else mentions guys or me dating, i start to feel realy sick and feel like im lying to them. What should i do coz' i don't want to say nothing but how can i maybe make myself feel better?

You could always be bisexual. And then telling people would make you feel better. Most likely anyway. But you could relax, maybe listen to music, watch a movie, write a journal, or even flirt with some cute guys and girls! Haha, flirting with guys always makes me happier

Q: I don't understand this. Many people are beginning to say X-mas. Well, the whole point of Christmas is because it is the birth of Christ. Isn't calling Christmas X-mas taking the whole point of Christmas away?

Well, Christmas has turned very commercial. Not many people care about it for the religious part of it. Like me, I am an athiest and I celebrate christmas because otherwise, what else would i celebrate during the winter? Haha. But religious people should call it Christmas, not X-mas

Q: There are three of us. We're 15/f. I guess im really the third because my two other friends[there my closest ones]are bestfriends. One of them used to be my bestfriend, and we'd kind of exclude the other one out, now its backfiring on me. It's hard to deal with because they make me feel so left out. Before when we made my other friend feel left out, my bestfriend would atleast talk to her. Both of them always ask me to go to their house, while the other one is there, but then it just turns out awkward because both of them ignore me and do their own little thing. It's not fun.

Aw, that happens to the best of us sometimes. You just need to tell them how you are feeling. If one of them says how you used to leave her out, apologize (and be sincere) and say you want to change things and be a better person (if you do). Just talk to them and hopefully things work out.

Q: hey sry people probably ask this a lot but i am a freshman at octorara and i just recently got my first people right before school started. i am on my third time having it and it has been really heavy. i want to know how to use a tampon. im not really afraid to i just dont no how. that might seem wierd but i just dont no where to put it and i thot it is suposed to go in between the flaps of the vagina but the hole just looks soooo small and i dont see how im going to fit my tampon in it. sry if this is gross to you but i just really need help and also the tampons im trying to use are tampax pearl so they are plastic.. i heard that they are easier to use then cardboard... also do you think it will hurt?

Haha it doesnt really gross me out as much as actually putting one in, but you get used to it. Basically you just need to read the instructions on the box. I know you feel weird about shoving something up your vagina that looks to big (haha) but it really isn't. You just need to kinda put it in. Its not as hard as it seems. Just make sure its not too close to the part where the pee comes out or to your hole in your butt. Haha. And it doesnt hurt, it feels awkward but it doesnt hurt (unless you put it in wrong, if you did then pull it out and try again with a new one)

Q: Do you think pink or black dye would look better on the tips of a medium brown hair color?

It depends on what your looking for. Both would look fine but I suggest the black.

Q: ok so like my right boob is smaller than my left. not by much but enough where its notcieable. i am 14 but almost 15 i finished my growth spurt and had my period for 2 years already because htey say after you egt that your development basically ends. so i was jsut wondering will they ever grow to be even? and if so how long?

Well its normal. I've read that its normal, so i think you'll be fine. And sooner or later they'll grow to be the same size.

Q: Ok, well on friday there is a school dance that i am going to with my boyfriend and all my friends. Well, there is slow dancing, and all the teachers are wacthing, and im just scared to sow dane because we ARE going to slow dance but I am just really scared...
what should i do?

please, i would appreciate some answers!

=]

thankss!

Well first off, have fun at your dance! And secondly, dont be scared to slow dance. Its not that hard. And if you step on his foot or something, just laugh at yourself. Haha

Q: Ok so a lot of people tell me i am too thin. I've done those online calculators and they say i am, but you can't really trust those things because they don't take in to consideration a lot of important factors, you know. So, I thought if people could look at my pic site and give me their honest opinion? Thanks. http://www.picturetrail.com/photos/blondina75

I don't mean to bring down your self esteem or anything, but it appears that you have gotten to the point where you are underweight and it could be dangerous to your health. If you are naturally skinny, its going to be hard to gain the weight needed but i think it is necessary. If you have an eating disorder, it is very important that you see a doctor, pehaps a specialist.

Some dangers to your health if you continue like this is insufficent amounts of iron and calcium, infertility, bone loss, low blood pressure, and more.
If you do have an eating disorder, go here: http://www.something-fishy.org/dangers/dangers.php

Q: There is this boy at school, lets call him Joe(his name really isn't Joe), that i really really like! But i dont even think Joe knows my name! How do I get him to notice me? Also to make the problem worse he likes my best friend Karlee. And i know he does cause he told her. I am really shy and dont want to go up there and tell him i like him because i am afraid he will think i am a dork! To top it off all of my friends think i am childish because i have only had 1 boyfriend! Ohh and if this helps i am 13/f. Please HELP!!!!!!!!

If it helps, i have my first boyfriend right now and I am 14. Its not a big deal that you have only had one boyfriend. Your friends are pretty inconsiderate to think that you are childish because of it. So about this Joe kid.. talk to him. Say hi. Start a conversation. Is he in any of your classes? Talk about a teacher you both have. Flirt and have fun and be yourself.

Q: 23/m
I got married young... while I was still in high school. Shannon wasn't pregnant, we just thought we were ready... probably because we both wanted to get away from our parents. We've had it good and we have a few kids now... but I'm not in love with Shannon anymore. I'm in love with one of my best friends, Tonya, who is also now married. I know things between Tonya and I won't work out, but if I'm not in love with Shan anymore, should we get a divorce? Am I just leading her on? Should we get counseling? I'm ready to let go. I'm done. But I don't want to break her heart... and what about the kids? They'll hate me. Please help me!

If you dont love her.. then i think you should get a divorce. Its not good for you, her, or your kids. You two could start arguing a lot and that will just put the kids and you in more pain. Its a rough thing to go through but if you dont love her anymore, you dont have a better choice in my opinion.

Q: I'm 16 years old.

I'm taking accutane, and about a week after I started taking it, I started to have rectal bleeding when I go to the bathroom. It isn't very bloody at all. When I wipe, there's just a little pink stuff that is obviously blood (again, there's not much at all. and it isn't like I leak blood).

Anyways, my dermatologist didn't mention rectal bleeding when putting me on accutane, but on online forums, people have noticed the same thing. Should I be concerned? Is rectal bleeding serious, or is it normal every once in a while due to medication?

[I'm afraid that it might become permanent]

I am on the same medication but i have not had that happened to me. There are like many pages of side effects that could happen on accutane and rectal bleeding is probably one of them. I would wait untill your blood test and your dermatologist appointment. Tell him and if there is something wrong with you, it will probably show up on the blood test.

Q: 15/f

my last period was oct. 22 and i still havent got my period yet and its november 26. im really worried & im still a virgin.

any ideas on why i havent got it yet?

It hasnt been that long. Its okay. You probably are just having and irregular period because maybe your first one was in the last 2 years. Just wait before you call the ob gyn because it most likely wont be neccessary.

Q: ok i have a friend im confused about! I love her so much! and i dont wanna stop being friends with her, but im so jelous of her and constantly envying her its weakening my self-esteem.. so maybe i should! like this girl is pretty close to perfect.. so everytime i feel happy about something good ive done.. i compare myself to her and start feeling bad.. i can never feel good about my looks, grades, self.. or anything.because i realize "good" will never be as good as her. and its not her fault, duh, i know. But ive tried stopping to compare myself to her AND IT DIDNT WORK! SO I DONT KNOW IF I HAVE ANY OTHER OPTION! what should i do?

I have a friend or 2 like that. You should stay being friends with her but remember that you have different qualities than her and you are just as beautiful- on the inside and out. Hopefully, the feeling of jealousy will pass when you realize that you are just as great as her and she makes mistakes and has imperfections like everyone else.

Q: Ok, i really like this guy at school, but my close friends really hate him (he rejected them), and so i went to my other friends, and they were shocked, and not in a good way. I like the guy alot, and he flirts with me. I havent told my close friends, and i really want to, bacuse i always tell them. What should i do? I really need advice!

I say, if you like him date him. Your friends will get over it eventually and life will go on. Just don't make your decisions based on what other people think

bio

I absolutely love giving advice on advicenators. When people ask for my advice in real life, its probably not as good as my responces on advicenators because advicenators gets me thinking. I love helping people and I try to give the best advice I can.