Kendra is a young woman working as a professional in Toronto. She's a cat lover, a bookworm and has always had a deeply rooted interest in people, love and what happens when the former attempts the later.
She's been in three long term relationships, lost her mother when she was 16 and has lived through her father's alcoholism and drug abuse. She's a college graduate in journalism and art, has a quirky personality and has acquired some realistic yet romantic beliefs about love and relationships.
She lives with her boyfriend. Life may not have always been good, but it is good now.
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario
Member Since: August 22, 2008
Answers: 207
Last Update: February 14, 2013
Visitors: 15403
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what happens if i finger a girl and she urinates blood (link)
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There could be a number of reasons.
If you're causing her pain while you finger her, you're doing it too rough. That would cause bleeding.
She could have a UTI. If it hurts to pee, but otherwise she feels fine, this might be the cause. In which case she needs to go to the doctor.
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Me and my boyfriend have been dating for awhile and have not had any kind of sex. I am now getting more and more comfortable every time I hangout with him. We have been talking about having oral sex for awhile but im just soo nervous. How do I get passed my nerves? I need help! I have only done this once and I was drunk. He has had alot of experience and I havent had any. Maybe thats why im scared. I dont know I just need some serious help! (link)
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I don't think you sound ready. You'll know you are when you're not scared.
But there's something that concerns me. What about you receiving oral sex? Before giving it, you need to be getting it. This can't be just about his needs and his expectations.
Giving oral is more intimate than intercourse because it's totally about giving. If you're going to go down that road, you're not going to be ready until you're comfortable receiving pleasure first.
Why? Because having a sex life means you give AND take. Sex is reciprocal.
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Hi I really think I have a problem. I dont like eating..... I think it's because I'm afraid of gaining weight. Sometimes I force myself not to eat but my mom makes me eat. I mean i dont want to be anorexic or anything but I just want to eat less. I have like no portion control what so ever. It sucks!
Please give me some advice? :) (link)
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Make an appointment with your doctor and share your concerns. Also make an appointment with a nutritionist, which your doctor should be able to set up for you.
Follow the doctor and nutritionist's food plan for you. A healthy diet should prevent you from getting fat, and also prevent you from becoming malnuourished.
Some things to consider: Not getting enough fats in your diet can lead to dry, cracking skin. Not enough calcium will make you a hunchback when you're older. Not getting enough vitamin C will result in lots of colds and a terrible immune system.
Also, if you don't give your body calories to work with, it starts feeding off itself. And it doesn't eat away at the fat (like it would if you were eating), it eats away at the muscle because it gives more energy and its starving. This will result in flappy skin.
You might want to take a break from magazines, or any other media that might distort your views of how you should look.
Also, check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U
No one looks perfect.
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17/f. I'm a nice, mature girl and I graduated a year early this year. I've been dating the same guy for about a year now. I have a car, I have a job, and I'm very stable and independent. My boyfriend is one year older than me and he's stable and mature also. You think I'd be trustable right? Well, my mom still makes me be home by midnight. She treats me like I'm a child. I'm the one that watches how I word things around her, tries not to fight, etc., but she freaks out over a simple question. She still thinks she can ground me and take away my things. I'm getting really tired of being treated this way. All of my friends spend the night at their boyfriend's houses but she thinks that's just horrible. She's not really religious and she's not strict about other things. She cusses around me and talks about crazy things so I don't know why she won't let me be normal. She makes me leave my bedroom door open when my boyfriend is over. She won't let me go to his house unless his parents are there (she doesn't know that I go when they're not home anyway). I don't know what to do. I really hate living like this because all of my friends think I'm a weird goodie goodie, and that's not who I am. It's who my mom is forcing me to be. She won't listen to a single thing I have to say. What can I do? (link)
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Your friends parents are doing your friends a big disservice by allowing them to spend the night at their boyfriend's houses.
With the responsibility of raising a child, a parent has to ensure their child is safe. And giving you ample opportunity to get pregnant when you're 17 is foolhardy. Your mom is doing the right thing.
You're a minor. When you move out and live alone, you can make these choices for yourself. But since you're still a teen and living with your mom, you have to abide her decisions for you, which frankly seem very reasonable. They probably only seem unreasonable to you because your friends have irresponsible parents who let them get away with inappropriate behaviour.
If you want freedom from your mother's rules, you have to pay for it, in the form of your own place. That's just the way it works.
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I want to work in the travel industry when I leave college next year (Im doing a travel and tourism course) but my friend and I both have want tattoos lol. I want a tattoo on my wrist and my friend wants one on her ankle. She would like to work as a check in service agent and I want to work as a travel agent but we were wondering if having tattoos can stop us from getting jobs..? My friend has a tattoo alredy but its easy to cover but we both want more visable tattoos. I know that working as a member of cabin crew you arent allowed tattoos but does this refer to all aspects of jobs in the travel industry?
Thanks for any help x (link)
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Most jobs don't look favourably on visible tattoos. Unless you're working in a highly relaxed or creative field, expect visible tattoos to be detrimental to finding a job.
Customer service-based jobs or careers are not tattoo friendly. This is because they can be off-putting to customers. Get a tattoo you can easily cover up with regular work clothes.
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Okay, I'm a 17/f. I started having sex the summer before I turned 16. But I was in a long term relationship when I lost my virginity, we were together about 3 years. After we broke up I was depressed for quite some time, and then I eventually sucked up my shxt and got over it. I started dating my best friend and i gave him head for the first time; it wasn't weird or anything after. We started dating and eventually ended up having sex.. alot. I thought the only reason why we were together was because he wanted to have sex all the time. It really freaked me out, so I got out of the relationship and thankfully, we're still best friends. After that relationship, I just started partying all the time and I've had about 8 or 9 drunk hookups. Which weren't bad, all the guys I hooked up with I trusted and I was friends with them so it didn't bother me.. It wasn't like a one night stand each time.. we talked and had a crush on eachother for a while and then I just moved on. I stopped drinking, for the better and now I just keep having feelings for my guy friends and we eventually... alwaysssss hook up and I love it.. but then I hate it at the same time. I don't know how to stop hooking up and having sex with all these people. It's like a serious compulsion. I'm 17 and I started having sex when I was 15 and I've had sex with about 16 different guys. I've gotten tested for HIV and all that good stuff and I'm fine.. I just want to stop doing what I'm doing.
Any advice/tips for saying, you know.. like.. no? (link)
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I think you're trying to fill a void. Are all of these hookups pleasurable and giving you orgasms? Or are you getting some kind of thrill out of it?
Some girls have a lot of sex to feel desired or wanted, because they often feel like no one cares.
I would suggest talking to a counsellor about this. It's very risky to have so many partners.
Also consider, birth control, while highly effective is at best 99% effective-- when used perfectly, and most people don't use it perfectly all the time. That means 1 in a 100 will get pregnant, 10 in 1,000, 100 in 100,000... you get the idea.
You want to say no? Imagine getting pregnant and having to raise a child with that specific guy. Imagine getting big and swollen and pushing a baby out of you.
But seriously consider the counselling, and maybe try to make new friends, too. The ones you have may see you a certain way now and maybe you need a fresh start.
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i'm asking both guys/girls for advice on this subject. so, my boyfriend and i have been heating things up lately, (having sex, naked makeout sessions, etc.) but i've been looking for new ways to turn him on while we're making out/laying near each other. so girls, tell me your dirty little tricks to get him horny, and guys, tell me what you like. (eg. kissing tricks, what to do with my hands?) thanks, anything will help. [: (link)
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While you're having sex, trying telling him a fantasy you have to excite his imagination.
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Ok, me and my boyfriend had sex two days ago and it was my first time. Well i kind of figured that i might be sore afterwards, but when i pee..should it hurt? It kind of hurts my bladder area? Is this all normal? (link)
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Sounds like a UTI, uterine tract infection. VERY common for women who are sexually active. See your doctor for treatment.
To avoid this in the future, go to the bathroom and urinate after sex every time. Pee sterilizes urethra and cleans out the bacteria that may have travelled in there. Very effective.
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ok im 13/f..i have a boyfriend that wants to do "stuff" like..he wants a h/j and stuff but im not really ready..hes expecting it though like tomorrow or something. PLEASE help :'(..idk what to do.. (link)
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He's expecting it? Oh hell to the no.
You were not put on this earth to sexually service this guy. You're only 13. You're probably thinking about kissing and holding hands and stuff like that.
Teenage boys are, well, perverts. I don't mean any disrespect to them, but they are. Sex on the brain. The sooner you learn to stand up to them and their demands, the stronger a woman you'll become.
Tell him, with no apologies this:
"I know you want a handjob, but I'm not ready to do that kind of stuff. If you like me, you won't pressure me to do stuff I don't want to do. If that's all you want in a girlfriend, find a new one."
Practice this in the mirror, be firm and tell him what's what. He may find another girlfriend, but big loss. Trust me, you're not going to marry the guy you went out with at 13. The sooner you stop dating losers who pressure you, the happier you'll be.
Let this be the theme of your love life-- when YOU are ready, YOU will initiate the sexual things. He can try, but it's your call and that's just all there is to it. He can either get with the program or get off the bus.
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I am new to this whole sex thing.. And I am noty really sure what I am supposed to do. I kno they say girls sceam and moan, but yeah. I am shy and I don't wanna mess anything up... But I don't wanna just lay there. What should I do??
- Confused Loser- (link)
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If you're feeling shy and confused and scared, you might want to wait to have sex. The best time to have it is with someone who makes you feel very comfortable and loved, who you trust and who arouses you.
When you're aroused, you don't worry at all about what you're doing. You just go with the flow and enjoy yourself.
If you're worried about what kind of performance the guy will expect, you're not having sex for the right reasons. It's supposed to be not just an act of love between two people, it's supposed to be for you to totally enjoy yourself.
Maybe other girls are having sex at your age, 14, but I know I wasn't. I waited till I was 18. And you know what? I am SO happy I did. No one ever looks back and wishes they'd started having sex sooner. The older you are when you start, the better it feels, the more confident you are about it, the more exiting it is, the happier you are...
Use this time to get comfortable with your body. Masturbate, get a vibrator or something and learn your body's sexual responses, teach yourself to orgasm. THEN, believe you me, sex will be happy time and "what am I supposed to do?" won't even cross your mind. I promise.
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you answered my question about the hickey. im not scared. i want one. hes scared they will see it. and i told him not to be. but how can i get him to just do it (link)
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Have him do it somewhere other people won't see it, like below the collarbone or on your shoulder blade. Then he shouldn't be worried about other people seeing it and you'll have the hickey.
You wouldn't want it to be visible anyway; they're very embarrassing and make you look trashy. You wouldn't want that, right? Tell him it can be a private thing, like a secret joke between you two, and then maybe he'll feel more comfortable.
It's important to respect his wishes as well, because sexual acts, even hickies, require both people be into it and happy about it.
Most guys are considered very respectful if they don't leave visible hickies because it shows they don't want to mark up their girlfriends for all the world to see.
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hey im a 16 female. and my boyfriend is a 17 male. weve been together for almost 6 months. well we were laying in my room and everytime my mom left wed start almost making out. he knows i want to makeout and he knows i want a hickey. i think hes kinda scared of the hickey part because hes scared im going to get in trouble. and im not sure about the makeout part. we kinda started to then i started pulling him towards me so he can be like kind of on top of me. and he said i was pulling away i was like no im not! wtf! ha. your chickening out! and he bit me on the neck and then kissed it like a peck. idk if that was his i want to but i dont want to thing. you know? my question next time were in that situation what do i do to get things moving along.? please help thankyou (link)
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I'm confused. You want a hickey and you're scared? And he's nervous your parents will see it?
Hickeys are best left where other people can't see them.
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okay, so lately i've been noticing that while i work out i get this smell. like my vagina gets really moist and thats all i can smell. as if i'm turned on.
is this normal? i didn't worry about it until my boyfriend mentioned he noticed it on the tredmill.
how do i get rid of it? or why does it get like this?
18/f. 180lbs. 5'4.
if that helps. (link)
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You can't get rid of it. It's a normal, natural reaction.
I read an interview where this esthetician was furious when clients would come in for their bikini wax or Brazilian wax after a job because the odour would be powerful.
Just a fact of life. Wear cotton when you work out and shower normally. Don't douche to rid the smell. Don't use soap up there either. Water is all you need. Anything else could cause an infection.
Also, keep calm about it. If you can smell yourself, every other woman is smelling herself too. You boyfriend probably noticed it just because he's so attuned to your scent, which is good.
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Okay lately i have been having really bad chest pains, I'm a fourteen year old female and heart problems doesnt run in my family. It just started all of a sudden and I have no idea whats wrong with me I'm scared to eat anything "unhealthy" for me because i'm scared that somethings going to happen so this whole week i have been eating nothing but healthy foods. but it still hearts every once in a while it's on and off. is it because i'm growing? (i haven't hit my growth spurt yet) could that be it? someone help me because I go crazy!!!
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You might be having panic attacks. The fear you're describing would only make them worse, but is very symptomatic of having a panic attack.
Please make an appointment with your doctor and tell him or her what's been happening to you and what your fears are.
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I was really close to my brother when we were growing up. My brother was only like a year and a half or so older than me. Two months ago my brother committed suicide and I'm the one that "found" him. I can't seem to move on from it at all though. I think I'm depressed sometimes but I don't really know. I lie awake at night and think about it constantly. It's like I'm in this haze where nothing is real anymore and I've noticed myself pulling away from others, spending more and more time alone. I replay our childhood in my head--the laughs, the games, the memories--and I realize it's gone. It's all gone.
I was close to my brother and it hurts that he didn't share his pain with me. It hurts that he couldn't rely on me to help him through the hard times he was obviously going through. Now I'm thinking about suicide myself. I've even went as far as to Google search painless ways to commit suicide and quickest ways to commit suicide. It's stupid, I know...but I feel so lost, so alone, and so empty now.
I guess I'm looking for some sort of guidance here. I don't really know what to do next... (link)
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Please tell your parents what you have written here. You need to talk to a grief counsellor. I lost my mother when I was a teen and I can relate to the feeling of being alone and depressed. These are natural symptoms of grief.
However, if you're at the stage of considering suicide, your depression has escalated and you can no longer face this alone.
There is no shame in what you're going through. The death of a family member is traumatic, and even more so for you because it was sudden and because of the terrible circumstances.
Please seek help.
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Hello, everytime me and my boyfriend have sex i bleed. his dick is bigger than i have ever had and we have had sex four times everytime i bleed during sex and we stop because its gross. i got my period this month but it was weird and really light it was also early and i was sick with strep and i was very weak. i was wondering why i bleed during sex. it is really annoying and we want to finish instead of having to stop each time. and if anyone has an idea of why my period was light and early that could help too. thank you!
17/f. Thank you for answering (: (link)
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Bleeding during sex is a possible sign of an STD. Get tested immediately. Stop having sex with your boyfriend until you do.
If it turns out you have an STD, your doctor should give you medication, your boyfriend will have to be treated as well and you'll have to abstain from all sex for a few weeks.
Leaving an STD untreated could result in infertility, or scar tissue resulting in a dangerous ectopic pregnancy.
You may also have polyps, which would need to be removed. There is no cause for bleeding during sex (non period related) that doesn't require a trip to the doctor.
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I like this person and he is all about just having me as a friend with bennifet.. I had sex with him once and he said it was ok. I dont think he is going to come around again. I really do like him but I dont think I am his type because he is into the skinny weman. I am thick.. I would want some type of a relactionship with him. Is there something I can do to get his attenction?? I know by writting this it is very stupid of me to like something like this but I know I would be good for him but he doesnt see it. (link)
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Never have sex with a man to try to get him to like you. It will never work. He will only grow closer to you if he's already falling in love.
Having sex too soon has given him what he wants out of you and he'll likely keep taking what he can get out of you while giving the least effort possible.
This is a road to heartache. Forget this man.
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I'm 13(m) and I might be going over to my crushes house this weekend and I want to find out if she likes me the way I like her. To do that without asking her anything, dont give me don't do it, it's wrong, I want to read her diary to see if she talks about me or not, but I need to know where some places are that she might keep her diary. What I'm trying to ask is, what are some places girls hide or put their diaries and if theres a key to it where are some places girls hide or put that key? (link)
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If this girl ever discovers you read her diary, not only will she hate you, but she'll likely tell all her friends and they'll hate you too. And then you'll be the guy who reads diaries and no girl will want to go out with you.
And if you are caught looking through her stuff (there is a very good chance of this happening) then she's going to think you are creepy, and again will tell all her friends and you'll be the guy who snoops through girls personal stuff and no girl will want to date you.
This is a terrible idea. If you want to grow into a man women will want, you need to develop your integrity. Girls like confidence. If you tell her how you feel and that you want to go out with her, odds are she'll be impressed.
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my da malested me a long time ago but i still love and want to talk to him i still keep in contact through facebook but my mom found out and now we argue everyday i told her that i would not stop talking to my dad and the other day we got into this huge arguement what should i do.. (link)
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Your mother is right to be concerned. This man violated you and no doubt it hurt her terribly as well. It's natural for her to fear what this contact could mean for your wellbeing.
My suggestion is to ask your mom to go to family counselling with you. Together with the therapist you can discuss this issue and find a solution.
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Can you get pregnant from dry sex?
Even if you and your partner have underwear and pants on?
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The only way it's possible is if the male ejaculated AND his ejaculate soaked through his clothes AND your clothes. And then there is a very small, very minimal possibility of getting pregnant.
Generally speaking, it's low-risk sexual activity.
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