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i don't know how to stop...
Okay, I'm a 17/f. I started having sex the summer before I turned 16. But I was in a long term relationship when I lost my virginity, we were together about 3 years. After we broke up I was depressed for quite some time, and then I eventually sucked up my shxt and got over it. I started dating my best friend and i gave him head for the first time; it wasn't weird or anything after. We started dating and eventually ended up having sex.. alot. I thought the only reason why we were together was because he wanted to have sex all the time. It really freaked me out, so I got out of the relationship and thankfully, we're still best friends. After that relationship, I just started partying all the time and I've had about 8 or 9 drunk hookups. Which weren't bad, all the guys I hooked up with I trusted and I was friends with them so it didn't bother me.. It wasn't like a one night stand each time.. we talked and had a crush on eachother for a while and then I just moved on. I stopped drinking, for the better and now I just keep having feelings for my guy friends and we eventually... alwaysssss hook up and I love it.. but then I hate it at the same time. I don't know how to stop hooking up and having sex with all these people. It's like a serious compulsion. I'm 17 and I started having sex when I was 15 and I've had sex with about 16 different guys. I've gotten tested for HIV and all that good stuff and I'm fine.. I just want to stop doing what I'm doing.
Any advice/tips for saying, you know.. like.. no?
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I think you're trying to fill a void. Are all of these hookups pleasurable and giving you orgasms? Or are you getting some kind of thrill out of it?
Some girls have a lot of sex to feel desired or wanted, because they often feel like no one cares.
I would suggest talking to a counsellor about this. It's very risky to have so many partners.
Also consider, birth control, while highly effective is at best 99% effective-- when used perfectly, and most people don't use it perfectly all the time. That means 1 in a 100 will get pregnant, 10 in 1,000, 100 in 100,000... you get the idea.
You want to say no? Imagine getting pregnant and having to raise a child with that specific guy. Imagine getting big and swollen and pushing a baby out of you.
But seriously consider the counselling, and maybe try to make new friends, too. The ones you have may see you a certain way now and maybe you need a fresh start.
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I'm glad you took the first step to admit you have a problem....
I can understand how you must feel. You feel that you shared a very important part of you in your first relationship, where you had sex. After the relationship ended you felt used. You felt like this boyfriend took a very important part of you with him and that made you loose control.
I feel that you lost the definition of sex. Sex is something you share with someone you truly love. These guys whom you have been sleeping with aren't love. If I am not mistaken it seems like you are hooking up with all these guys either to feel loved or for many other reasons..
The first thing you need to do is to tell yourself...I'm a beautiful girl that doesn't need to have sex to be loved. Try staying in a relationship with someone for say 6 months before actually having sex. If you keep that priority in mind you won't fall into this cycle. As easier as it may seem, try to keep temptation off your shoulders. If you know you will be alone with this one guy where you might want to, don't put yourself in situations like that..
Your at a decent age to stop yourself from being taken as an easy girl. We need to let men treat us with respect and if we don't give our respect then they won't.......
I'm here for you if you need anymore advice...
Be strong!!
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you said after you broke up with your boyfriend you were "depressed". It seems being depressed made you lost respect for yourself, and made you not want to care, which can be normal.
You could be having sex for many reasons - as a way to hide how you feel, like some people use alcohol to hide there feelings, which you did for a while. There's also the obvious thing that maybe you just enjoy sex.
I can't stop you from having sex, but firstly don't get drunk. It changes you, when you're not drunk - you want to stop having sex - but as soon as you're out of your head it's what you want to do. If you sober, you're in control, and you can make the right descions.
Think about yourself.I am sure there are some lovley qualities about you - there must be , as you have been in relationships - so people have been attracted to you and loved you. Those qualities are worth so much, and having sex is worth so much too, it's highlighting you love for someone. Consider how other people will see you - a slut, easy going. NOT NICE.
And it isnt fair because you know you're a good person. Before you do anything THINK. JUST THINK. About the concequences, how it makes you feel, and how other people will percieve you - and how wrong their judgments are.
Don't turn yourself into a nasty whore or cheap (not saying you are)
by sleeping around with loads of guys. It's so degrading and it's the reason why so many guys are such asses these days.
Start being independant! Obviously, I am not saying dont have sex at all, because we all have to get some sometime (haha)
But don't have sex with someone if you don't respect them and they dont respect you.
If one only doesnt respect the other, then it's not fair, it's using people.
Sage :)
Hope I Helped, I Really Think You Deserve Someone Who Will Treat You Like Lady - But Unless You Start Acting Like One, It's How You're Treated.
How You Act, Is How You're Treated.
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Wow, all I can say is think about your reputation. And don't you have morals? I mean, you obviously don't want to stop, or you would. All these guys that you 'trust' are most likely just spreading rumors. Even the guys that I thought I could trust more than anyone would 'slip' things to their friends. Word gets around. You don't want that....or do you?
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