Imperfectionist's advice column

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Q: well you see my boyfriend and i have been dating almost 7 months now. his parents are split up and his mom is movng away to another city he cant live with his dad because they always fight and it turns physical . i will be 17 on march and he will be 18 on apirl my mom love my boyfirend but i just dont know what to say to let my mom have him move in . Yes we are haveing sex and she know this, im on birthcontrol and we always us a condom. for extra safety. what are somthing i can say to have my mom at least consider haveing my boyfirend move in . some additional facts is my bofirend just got his ged we are awaiting to see if he past whitch will be on the 26 of this month . he is applying to work so he could help with some bills or my mom could charge him rent 100 a month or what ever she chooses and he will be attending school for his career i am still in school but i am not allowed to work till the following year (school year)since that will be when i turn 18.

You can ask your mom, but he should be living with family for two reasons. That is your mom's house not yours. And a $100 a month is nothing, because that doesn't cover the extra food she'll have to put in the house, the water he'll be using, the electric he'll be using, the gas, the cable and etc he'll be using in her house. $100 could probably cover the food though. And the other reason is he has a family, his mom is dying, she is moving and her son should go with her. If he can't survive with his dad. And i'm sure he has other relatives he can live with. If you want to live with your boyfriend, start saving up. and get your own apartment together.

Q: I'm Muslim I'm not a virgin. I need to find a way to bleed on my wedding night. It's a culture thing. Don't talk about trust please.

...erm... well... the only way for that to happen is if he has a larger dick from the ones you've already experienced and you had really rough sex. But you could always have sex with him on your period. Gross, but it would work.

Q: I am 19 female and i have a boyfriend of a year and 3 months. i have always seemed to mention things like "you wouldnt ever cheat on me right?" and a bunch of other annoying things. he has yet to prove me wrong, so i dont know why i keep on feeling this way. i am constantly worrying and wondering what he is doing when we arent togethor. one of the reasons i think i am like this is because i know he loves to have sex with me a lot and is a very horny kind of guy so it makes me extremely nervous that when we dont see eachother for a couple of days, he will do something behind my back. i know he loves me and truly does care for me and wants to see me happy and cant stand to see me upset. so part of me thinks he wouldnt do such a thing. but the other part of me is so full of anxiety and worries that he is doing stuff behind my back..because i know one of his good friends has had a girlfriend for a year also that he claims to be in love with but then my boyfriend told me that when the girlfriend has her period, he cheats on her. that is extremely messed up and i cant bear the idea of my boyfriend doing that to me. it breaks my heart. i also feel like ive seen and heard of people cheating everywhere..media, friends, etc. so why would it stop him? when i was in 6th grade apparently my dad cheated on my mom and that is why they got a divorce, i didnt find out that reason until 2 years ago. but i wonder if thats also why i am so scared. this is getting overwhelming. i know my boyfriend is getting fed up with me acting this way.

there is nothing you can do sweetie. You can either go all stalker clingy girlfriend and be on his ass all the time. Moderator everything he does and etc... pushing him away in the end or you can hope for the best because you trust him. That doesn't mean he won't cheat. It happens. Trust and promises get broken, and I know it's an anxiety killer fact... I wonder the same thing about the guy I'm dating too. But if you trust them... let it go. and try to push it out your mind.

Q: Me and my Ex have been broken up for a month or two. He has a new girlfriend and they have been dating for like a month now. When We all are at the same place he pays no attention to me. Like this one time at a football game he was up in the bleachers and I looked up and smiled, he smiled back. His Gf wasn't with him so he did it back. He wants me to do stuff with him. We've already done other stuff while they're dating. I don't want to tell her but I would hate to be in her place and be cheated on. What do I do? Age 13, 8th Grade.

Well think about it, if you were in her position how would you feel? If you want to tell her, you should. But either way, cut it off, because if she gets hurt it's all your fault. Not just his, YOURS too.

Q: What am I goin to do, I was getting tired of all the arguments because of my Step-Son. My relationship to my husband is getting worst everytime we had fight and the reason is because of his son. We have a baby, and my step son is living with us and he was raised by my husband since 3yrs old but they said their relationship is not perfect for 10yrs. I really hard time in adjusting having a new baby, being far apart with my family, with my husband and with his ADHD son. My husband throwing me foul and abusive words everytime we're having a fight and it was all because of his son. His son is so disrespectful and rude, inconsiderate and not thankful but he knows to manipulate his dad and turns like I was the bad one and he was the innocent. My husband is against me and choosing his son than to me and our baby. He always wants us to leave when he was mad and he's cursing and throwing bad words to me even in front of our 14months baby. I want a marriage counselling but he always refuse. I was the 3rd wife and he was my first. He is not the man and I fell in love with, not even in my imagination... :"(

If he isn't willing to work it out and fight for your marriage... FUCK HIM. I know that sounds probably rude but it's true. You are a mother and you have to look out for the best interest of your child, and many people will say staying in that marriage is the best interest but it's not because he already is picking his other son over the baby and if he is treating you foul and abusive over the son imagine what he will do to the baby. Probably even the reason why the son is such a jackass is because his dad is, he raised him right? So give him a choice he can try to work it out, and go to marriage counseling or you can leave his ass and let him spend all the time he wants with his won and he can wait for a fourth wife.

Q: I had a orgasm with my bf last month.he inserted finger in my vagina but it was clean.i missed my periods by one month.can i get pregeant?

If it was only his finger in your vagina and there was no sperm on his finger, you are fine. Pregnant* Pregnancy* by the way.

Q: I am an 18 year old female. One night, my friends ( Lucy and Karen) and I were getting ready to go out to a party, we had to take shifts because the car we were going in could only hold 5 people and there was 11 of us going. When we finally all got to the party, we all were hanging out and talking. Before the party, I was telling my friends that I never drink to get drunk because I don't like waking up the next day and not remembering what happened the night before. I am a social drinker, I guess you could say. Well, during the party while my friends were drinking more than me, they were off talking to boys and such, I was sitting on the kitchen table talking to Karen's best friend who is a boy that she has a crush on. I could still to this day, two weeks later, recite everything we talked about. We talked about Karen and if he has feelings for her and if he would ever want to be with her. I, then, talked to my guy friend about my previous conversation about Karen to her crush. The music was loud and the appartment was full so as we were talking, my head was on his shoulder so that I could talk in his ear that he'd hear me and he did the same thing when he talked to me. After the party, I left with this kid named Will. He said he would walk me back to my dorm after we walked into town so that he could get cigarettes. So, the whole walk he was calling my Karen and Lucy to see where they were (mind you, Will was drunk) and was getting very angry when they weren't answering their phones, calling them fucking bitches for not picking up and stupid for not leaving with him. Well, as we were walking into the parking lot of the gas station, we found Lucy. She ran up to Will and he hugged her and everything. He went in to get his cigarettes. I stayed outside. When they came out, we walked back to campus. They decided to go one way and check on Karen who was at her dorm with her crush. I was pissed that they just left me so I texted Lucy and told her that I was pissed and that I feel like I don't belong in their little friendship because a friend wouldn't leave me alone on a college campus to walk to my dorm by myself at 2 am. She texted me back freaking out that she is so done with this petty bullshit and that she heard what I said about her and that she is so done being my friend, she did like me but now she doesn't. I know for a fact that I said NOTHING bad about her. Like I said, I don't drink to get drunk so I would not forget that I "talked shit on her" if I didn't even drink to be drunk. The next morning, I texted Karen, she replied with a snarky comment. I asked what was wrong and she said the same thing: that she heard what I said about her. Again, I talked to two people about her; her crush and my friend and both of those conversations were good, how I think they deserve to be with each other to be happy and how they're so adorable together. I know, again, for a fact that I did not talk shit or Karen nor Lucy. I also know, after thinking about it, that Will was the one that told them I was saying bad things about him because he was the last person they talked to. It's funny.. he was talking shit on them calling them fucking bitches and stupid, yet they're still friends with him.

Two weeks later, I am moving on from being friends with them. If they don't believe me then why should I keep trying to convince them that I didn't say anything bad, ya know? Anyways, I was having dinner the other night in the dining hall with my roommate, ten minutes after I sat down, Karen and Lucy and Will and his friend were leaving the dining hall and they all gave me the rudest looks as they were leaving. It's enough to be mad at me for something I didn't do but to give me snarky looks and such crosses the line for me. Like, I'm trying to get over it.. why aren't they?

The whole gist of this is, how do I make myself not care about them anymore? When they give me rude looks, how do I just forget about it and brush it off my shoulders? I just want this whole thing to be over. If they don't want to friends over something stupid, whatever but get on with your life and stop being so rude to be.

I'm sorry this is so long and confusing but any help will do.

If they want to believe it, let them it isn't your problem. If they were your friends they would have cared enough to try to find out or work it out. Simply tell them what really happened, if you can. But after you're done tell them you just told them to clear the air, and that you do not want to resume a friendship.

Q: I'm looking for someone to give me a little insight on a situation regarding my best friend. She is a Caucasian female who was raised Christian in the United States but decided to convert to Islam due to her strong beliefs in the religion. She met a Muslim man from Pakistan and they began falling in love with each other. However, his family would never approve of their relationship and would not want him to marry her even though she did convert before meeting him. Is this more of a cultural belief than a religious one? Does it have to do with race? She is very heartbroken about this and I don't know what advice to give her. Thank you.

It could be a cultural, religious, or even race reason. And they might have already have a person in mind for marriage since Muslims sometimes partake in arrange marriages.

Q: So I'm in seventh grade. I found out recently that a lot of kids in my grade aren't virgins.. And I'm jusrt sickened by this. It's been in my mind all day and I can't get it off my mind. How do I make this leave my mind? I'm just not wanting to go to that school anymore, but my friends are there...

It's school. Worry about your education and what is going on in your life instead of what everyone else is doing.

Q: 15/f
So, there's a guy that I'm friends with that I've known for about 4 years, but we weren't really friends till a couple months ago. He randomly started messaging me on Facebook, then he pulled the "I'm getting off Facebook, what's your number?" stunt, so I have him my number (we're friends). This was a week ago, and now he texts me every single day, from the hour after school gets out till he goes to bed. I don't mind the texting, cuz I enjoy talking to him. I like him, but only as a friend. Anyway, he has been sending VERY flirtatious texts, and has told me multiple times that I'm sexy and very attractive, and that I'm his type. I've just said thank you. Then, he's asked me if he's attractive back, and I didn't want to be mean so I said yes (he IS attractive, I just don't like him that way) He's been flirting with me over text, and I've been unintentionally flirting back, but I haven't explicitly said anything about liking him.
Tonight, when he was going to bed and saying goodnight, he said that he liked me. However, it was in a longer text, so I sort of ignored that part and just filled my response with a bunch of "hahahahas" and ;). The thing is, this guy is pretty cute and he's really nice and smart, and I probably would go out with him, except there's another guy that I'm really good friends with that I have a massive crush on. I don't want to go out with the one that likes me because I like the other guy. Basically, I dont want to give this guy a chance in a relationship because then the guy I like will think I'm not interested.I'm certain this guy will mention that he likes me again, over text. How do I say I don't like him? And how do I respond to his flirty texts without flirting back? Thank you!

Instead of writing you a long paragraph, I can just tell you, you already made your decision. You said you liked someone else and wouldn't date this guy because of that. There you go. Tell the guy that.

Q: Kissing a man on his neck

erm... your question?

Q: Im just wondering about this but does it really hurt when a girl looses her virginity or a guy even or is it a good sensation?

I mean it all depends, some people say it hurts but i've actually met people who say it didn't.

Q: My fiancée and I have been together for almost 5 years. A year ago we had a beautiful child. Our relationship is great, he makes me happy and he's a great father. Before I got pregnant our sexual relationship was great, zero complaints. Then I had our daughter and the sex drive I once had is completely gone. We have sex maybe once every three months. It's physically painful and he almost acts like thats an excuse I use to get out of sleeping with him. This has been like this for over a year. I've told him numerous times that he isn't the problem, it's me. I feel like maybe I need to see a doctor. The last thing I want to do is have him leave me because we aren't sleeping together. Every time we talk about it always ends up in a fight and then we don't talk for days. I just need some advice on what to do.. Thank you to anyone who helps.

You should go to the doctor, the fact that you are in physical pain during sex should have been an alarm for you when it first started. Go to the doctor, maybe even bring your fiance' and find out what is going on. And see where it goes from there.

Q: My boyfriend is always telling me i'm having sex with someone else because I feel looser than normal and I have been with no one else. So is it even possible for a man to be able to tell by the feel of the vagina? Now i'm curious

Well, you two are having sex, right? So of course you are a bit "looser". But they can't tell if you've had sex with someone else by the vagina unless the person you were cheating with had a much larger penis than you've ever had.

Q: I'm a 21 gay male. I've been in a relationship for over 2 years now. I use to sleep perfect with my partner. Now he has a new job where he works away a lot,when I get to see and sleep with him.. I'm always moving and touching him.. But not knowing I'm really doing it ( if that makes sense). Like I move to where I wake up several times in the night. When I sleep alone, I don't sleep good or don't sleep at all. What could my problem be??

Mmm I think it's a form of attachment. Like you get use to something, and than you are forced to have to kind of change how it is. Pretty much your subconscious effects your sleeping patterns so when your partner is gone it messes with it. I have the same issue with the guy I've been seeing. (I don't sleep unless I at least get a call from him goodnight).

Q: We barely ever talk anymore?

You didn't give the whole situation so no one can offer you real advice. You probably should just ask your "mate" yourself, but if you want advice. Just repost with a bit more info.

Q: plz tell me that my boyfriend become my life partner or not

No one here is a psychic and can predict if your boyfriend will be your "life partner".
But i hope everything works out.
Buh-Bye.

Q: Will STD cause pregnant? And IF my partner which is girl had sex with her ex boy friend before, will she get any Diseases of sick?

STDs can not cause pregnancies. They are diseases not sperm.
and the last part was put so unreadable, can't help you.
Try reposting this in a better worded way.

Q: Please help me on how I can lose weight. I'm tired of being fat and I need to lose it NOW. I don't need gestures on how I can just "not eat desserts" or anything like that. Just please tell me how I can lose weight. Please name the excersize and how many calories burned (I don't play sports. Just excersizing please). I can't go to a doctor or my PE teacher or my mom or anything like that. I don't want my mom to think even more that i'm fat. And my mom will have to go with me to the doctor. And my PE teacher hates me. So please help me before I starve myself (I don't need a gesture on that. If I can't find any excersize, that's what i'm going to do no matter what)...

If there is a gym around you, ask to join one. Or even do jogs in the morning. Or simply get an exercise tape and workout in your room. I know for Comcast/Infinity customers OnDemand offers free exercise programs. Cut down on sugary things especially soda and sugary drinks. Make sure you are eating three meals a day (no starving yourself doesn't help) just try to cut down your proportions on meals by even having light snacks in between your meal periods. Drink LOTS of water. I drink a water before and after each meal. Not just because it actually helps you stay full it's very good for your kidneys.

Q: Hi, Im Blake, im 12 years old and i just moved from London to America. When I first got to school my teacher Mr.Rein always smile at me and wink at me.Like a when we read our books, there he is staring at me winking and I wink back. He always cares about me a lot. One time I was really sad and started crying but then Mr.Rein took me out to the hallway, then he made me sit on his lap and gave me a kiss on the forehead. I gave him a big hug then he said everything is all right and ill be here for you.I really like him and he really likes me. Every day when we leave he givs me a hug. I want to know if this is ok because i have feelings for him. Please reply
-Blake

School teacher crushes are totally cool, but when an adult is kissing (even on the forehead) and hugging on a kid as young as yourself, there is something wrong here. Talk to an adult. A parent or such. Whether you really like him or not, it's wrong.

bio

Hi, thanks for coming to my column.

The name is Diamond but Dia is fine.

20, female, jersey girl at heart. mixed race taurus natured woman.

So...the reason I made this was during the start of my senior year of high school I had reached a point in my life where I didn't want to live anymore. I was tired of fighting and didn't see the reasons to fight. It was a random stranger that made me realize I would be stupid to take my life and to stop fighting.

So if you think I'm going to tell you life gets easier, I'm not. Let's face it, it doesn't get easier. Through pain you get stronger and learn to open your eyes to those things that give you strength to live.

Mine happen to be music, writing, dr. pepper, anime, the color black, the way rain sounds, and an amazing boyfriend. What gives you strength to live?