Hi, I call myself Ignatz after Dan Herriman's character in the old "Krazy Kat" comic strip. I'm 44, father of 3, husband to one, crazy about music and books and food and movies and history and martial arts. I've had some wild and crazy times in my life, and I figure I might as well put in some of my perspective.
I promise not to talk down to anyone or make fun,and I promise not to BS anyone. If you're old enough to ask a frank question, you're old enough to get a frank answer. Oh, and if you ask me a question directly, please be patient. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. My life's a bit hectic. :-)
Gender: Male
Location: St. Louis, MO
Occupation: Professional dad
Age: 44
Member Since: October 29, 2007
Answers: 328
Last Update: January 23, 2015
Visitors: 35600
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I'm a writer. Note, I'm not an author. Authors have to get published.
I'm male, 26, wrote a nice piece of fantasy, book one of two. And no agent is touching it.
I've already refined it to the point where it's only subjective if you don't like it. I've been to conferences, queried several agents.
And I just don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.
I know that all the no's are supposed to lead to a yes, but every time I'm rejected, I hate myself more and more, and feel like I'm wasting my life.
I don't want to self-publish, I want to prove that my talent is good enough. I want to find the right agent, I want to be a big smash. I want to feel like I haven't wasted my college years studying for this and the years after chasing it.
I don't even know what I'm asking for on this site. I just... I just want to feel confident that I'll find my agent soon. (link)
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This may not be what you wanted to hear, but you may need to be a smash first before you get published.
Matthew Wayne Selznick, Mur Lafferty, and Scott Sigler all got publishing contracts after posting audio versions of their books on podiobooks.com. David Wellington, author of the "Monster Nation" series, couldn't get published for years. Then he serialized "Monster Island" on a friend's website and generated so much buzz and positive feedback that he finally got a contract.
Getting published is not a judgement on your talent, nor is it a validation of you as a writer. There are plenty of hack writers who get contracts. Ever hear of Gael Baudino? She wrote some fantasy novels in the '80s and '90s, was lauded as this rising star in fantasy... then disappeared. John Norman is a terrible writer, but he's published 27 novels in the Gor series. It's all about what sells. There are plenty of talented writers out there, and it's a lot easier to attract the attention of a publisher if you can bring the promise of a dedicated fan base to the table.
If you love writing enough to have studied it formally and to write novels, then you won't be able to stop. You have it in you to tell stories and tell them well. But it's meaningless if nobody hears you. Put your stuff up on the web and let people read it. Screw the publishers.
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I'm beginning the college search process, and I would love to hear some suggestions of schools to check out! Here's some personal info:
GPA: 3.8
SATs: 2200
Am taking many AP courses, fluent in another language and a dual citizen, interested in foreign languages and linguistics, and history and philosophy. The school must have a good music program.
Thanks for the help! (link)
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I may sound biased, but Sarah Lawrence College is my alma mater, and they have excellent programs in linguistics, foreign languages, history, philosophy and music. It's an expensive school, but they give out all sorts of financial aid. My time there was incredibly rewarding. You'd probably fit right in.
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So, i've heard a little about the suicide girls and i've visited the website etc. I was just wondering if anyone knows anything else about it. Or whether they know someone who is one!
I was considering becoming one, but i just wanted to know a little bit more about them first :)
erm, thanks in advance!!! xxx (link)
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If I'm reading your question correctly, you want to model for suicidegirls.com.
It's a glamour/erotic photography website; you wouldn't be doing hardcore porn for them. You would have to provide your own content, at least initially. That means finding a photographer you trust to see you nekkid and take flattering pictures. Later on, if they think you're worth the investment, they may cover the cost of photography.
The only major complaint I've heard is that they're slow on paying the models for their pictures, and that rather than being the woman-friendly feminist alternative they bill themselves as they're just another pinup site catering to a niche market.
In short, if it's something you want to do and you can handle the consequences, then find somebody to hold the camera and start taking pictures!
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i dont know what i have. but its somewhere along the lines of post nasal drip. sinus infection and stuff like that.
im very nassally. and its soooooooo annoying. i hate it. and my nose hurts cause ive been blowing it so many times.
i got zicam sinus relief (its the one where you srap it in your nose) yesterday and it reallly helps alot. i can breathe so much better. but you can only take it every 10-12 hours. and i take it when i wake up.and before i go to bed. but somewhere in the middle of the say it wears off. and i know it says take as directed, but will anything happen if i take it like three times a day?
and if there anything i can do to get over this cold faster. ive had it since thursday and its almost sunday.! (link)
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You might also want to try sinus lavage. It's also called neti, and there's fancy doodads on the market for the purpose. You don't need them though: all you really need is table salt, a cup of warm water, and a bulb syringe like what you use for a baby's nose.
Mix half a teaspoon of table salt into about 6 ounces of warm water. Fill the bulb syringe with the salt water, tilt your head to one side, and put the syringe up one nostril as far as it will comfortably go. Squeeze gently. When you feel water coming out your nose or down the back of your throat, stop and blow your nose. A lot of gunk will come out, but you'll be able to breathe better. The warm water will moisten your sinuses, and the salt will kill the bacteria. Best of all, you can do this as needed. If you feel a burning sensation in your nose, you've used too much salt. Go easy, and don't drown yourself.
Hope this helps.
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my so thinks its funny to pull his pants down and show his privates to his friends, including to the little girls his age. we have tried grounding him but that doesn't seem to work, we even spanked him bare bottom since he likes to take his pants down so much. we are trying to teach him good behavior, but he doesn't seem to listen. what should we do. (link)
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He's seven, which means he's becoming capable of rational thought. You've no doubt explained to him that this is unaccepatble behavior, and why he shouldn't flash his friends. Ask him why he pulls his pants down; he's probably doing it for the reaction and the attention he gets.
Don't try to psychoanalyze him, unless you're a child psychologist yourself. Focus on the behavior. If negative incentives don't work, try a positive incentive. Set a goal (say, a week with no flashing), mark the calendar each day, and reward him when the week is done. Then set another goal (1 month). Keep up the positive reinforcement. Give him attention for behaving well.
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so my schools havinq a formal in about 2 months. i dont know what to wear or who to take.
i miqht just ask my bestfriend. [hes a quy)
butt i really want a quy i like there.
im not really 'fallinq' fer anyone riqht now.
butt if i happen to , lol , how should i ask them ?
&& where could i qet a not so expensive butt pretty dress ?
im not even much of a dress person , butt ill deal. haha.
i dont want a lonq prom dress ; i juss wanna short dance dress. :) any suqestions ?
&& should i have a friend qo help me find a dress fer her opinion ? (link)
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You could do worse than to ask your best guy friend. You might actually have a good time. :)
Of course, if you choose to ask someone else, a direct approach is often refreshing. "Do you have a date for the formal? You don't? Neither do I. Wanna go with me?"
As far as the dress goes, check thrift or resale stores in wealthier areas. A lot of women donate bridesmaids dresses and other high-end stuff that would be much cheaper than retail. And definitely get another person's opinion on fit and color. It never hurts to have a fresh pair of eyes.
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My parents want to come and spend the night at my house. I have told them hundreds of times that they have really nasty habits (like not washing their hands after using the bathroom then touching food and not taking baths but once a week). Then they come and bring roaches with them (unintentionally of course) from their house, that they refuse to clean. (Then they ask why we don't visit them at their house. Last time we went I got a glass from the cabinet to get some water to drink and it had roach eggs and spiderwebs in it.)I have to treat them like children and tell them how to do things properly. I do not like them giving my kids food because I don't know where their hands have been. When I do tell them that they need to clean up their act, they get offended and blame it on this or that (a line of bull). Then my dad gets mad at me and says sarcastic comments (like I'm sorry we are not perfect like you). I never said I was perfect, I just don't want them to teach my kids ( 2 & 6 yrs. girls) bad habits. They need to be able to look up to them and be proud. Nothing I do seems to help. They never listen, when I'm trying to tell them something they always take it the wrong way. Then they act jealous of other family members (ex: why can u go visit them and not us?) I can't take much more of this, I don't know what else to do other than just start avoiding them. I have put up with this for years, Please help... (link)
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Boy, you're in a tough spot. I don't envy you.
What you have here is literally a toxic situation. Your parents' behavior is putting your children at risk, especially if they're going to an infested house.
The first step in dealing with a situation like this is to remain calm. Your parents will try to evoke an emotional response from you so they can seize control of the discussion.
Next, focus on behavior and on things that can be observed. Don't try to figure out their deeper motives; you're not a psychologist.
Lay out a simple ultimatum, and don't pass judgements on their characters. You won't come and visit them until they take care of the roach infestation and practice basic sanitation. It has nothing to do with them as people: the way they keep their house and their persons presents a danger to your children. Tell them you love them, you hate to have to do this but you cannot risk your childrens' health. Stay calm, stick to your guns. When they attack you personally or make sarcastic comments, they're trying to take control of the situation. Don't deny the accusations, or even acknowledge them. Keep it focused on behaviors. "When you do X, it causes Y." If they can't do these things, then you won't come visit and they're not welcome in your house.
Defying a parent is difficult at best, but you're an adult and you deserve adult considerations. And your kids deserve to be able to go to Grandpa's house without dealing with roaches and spiders.
Hope this helps.
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Well I'm 18/F, and this adorable thirteen year old little boy has a crush on me =/
I am way too old for him and I want him to stop liking me without hurting his feelings, because he is the sweetest cutest kid ever. We do a sport together, so I don't have an option of avoiding him or ignoring him, because we are on the same team so we are teammates and I talk to him a lot and I enjoy talking to him. I see him like a little brother.
What should I do? He hasn't said he had a crush on me, but it is completely obvious, even a blind person would be able to tell that he does. Oh, and he is a super sensitive kid. Should I just pretend that he doesn't like me and not say/do anything about it? But at the same time I don't want him to think he has a chance, BUT I still want keep the friendship.
Thank you. (link)
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Were I in your shoes, I wouldn't mention the crush. If he's as sensitive as you say, he's crushing on you because he feels he doesn't have a chance with girls his own age and you're actually nice to him. You're safe, because you won't make fun of him.
What you might do is plant the idea in his head that girls his own age might find him attractive. Ask him if he's got any girlfriends, give him advice on how to talk to girls his own age, give him a little ego boost. Answer his questions honestly, to the extent that you're comfortable. Most boys his age would kill to have an older woman's perspective. It also puts in the idea that he can't have you, but he can have somebody else.
Putting yourself in a mentor position will keep your friendship going and help him get over his crush without breaking him down. He wants to be taken seriously, and the last thing he wants to be thought of is 'little brother'. Teach him a few things about being a gentleman, and he'll always remember you fondly.
Hope this helps.
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whats some good songs to smoke to?
I know it's bad, don't lecture.
thanks. (link)
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"I Love You, Mary Jane" - Cypress Hill and Sonic Youth
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(16/f)I am going to try out for my high school talent show in a couple of weeks, singing a song and accompanying myself on the piano, and I'm not sure what song I am going to sing. I tend to lean towards singing songs that are a little more bluesy and soulful and I like a lot of older music, but I like literally every genre of music and am open to anything. here are some of the songs i am considering:
Lovin U- Alicia Keys
Hallelujah- Jeff Buckley
What goes around comes around- Justin Timberlake
Sorry seems to be the hardest word- Elton John
That'll be the day- Linda Rondstadt
Who's loving you- the Jackson 5
The Way you make me feel- Michael Jackson
I wanted to get people's opinions on what song they think would be best to sing, and I would also absolutely love any other song suggestions.
thanks so much! (link)
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If you want to blow people away, it's hard to go wrong with Etta James or Janis Joplin. If you can play barrelhouse piano, try "Piece of my Heart" or "Me and Bobby McGee".
If you want something calmer, check out "Song of Bernadette" or "Famous Blue Raincoat" by Leonard Cohen. Jennifer Warnes does a brilliant version of both on her "Famous Blue Raincoat"; Tori Amos also covers "Famous Blue Raincoat on "I'm Your Fan".
"Landed" by Ben Folds is a great tune, and technically challenging.
"Accidentally Like A Martyr", "Desperadoes Under the Eaves", "Mohammed's Radio" and "Keep Me In Your Heart for a While" are all by Warren Zevon, and they're excellent.
"Dirty Work" by Steely Dan is great stuff, and is easily adapted to solo piano.
And if you want to creep out your audience, try "I'll Shoot the Moon" by Tom Waits. It's a cheery little tune about death and devotion.
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in bed how to please a guy? What are the spots they like? I am 27 year old female and need help (link)
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Sorry about the slow response; I mostly read the site at work and this isn't something I can answer at work.
Your question sounds simple, but it's actually pretty complex given that guys are so variable. What pleases one guy may leave the next guy completely cold. With that in mind, most guys' perception of what sex is and should be have been shaped by watching porn. They expect their girlfirends/wives/dates to be like the actresses, and get disappointed if they're not. There's an excellent site called "Make Love Not Porn" that goes into the issue pretty in-depth.
If there's a regular guy in your life, the best thing to do is experiment on him. Start nibbling body parts and see what excites him. Necks and ears are very sensitive, as are the palms of the hands. Genitals are obviously very sensitive. Your mileage may vary depending on the guy, what you're willing to do, and what he likes. He may like being spanked with a hairbrush, but you may not be willing to do that.
A writer/blogger you might want to to read is Violet Blue (tinynibbles.com); she writes very well, very clearly, and very frankly about all sorts of subjects, including how to turn on guys.
Again, I apologize for the delay.
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What is the best heavy metal album of all time? (link)
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I'd add Metallica's "Master of Puppets" and "Ride the Lightning" to that list, as well as AC/DC's "Back in Black", Iron Maiden's "Powerslave" and "Piece of Mind" and Blue Oyster Cult's "Agents of Fortune" and "Fire of Unknown Origin", if only for the sleaze factor. Oh yeah, just for yuks you should check out Cookie Mongoloid's "Blood and Cookies": speed-metal versions of Sesame Street songs.
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My younger sister (22) and I (24) have always been pretty different and disagreed on many things. She is an extremely devote catholic (she intends on becoming a nun) and I’m really, just not. For the past few years we always just agreed to disagree and to not talk too much about things we know will only upset us both and disrupt family gatherings. This really works as far as I’m concerned: I don’t need to argue with her and I’m okay with disagreeing with her.
The trouble is lately she’s gotten downright belligerent about it. She sent out an e-mail to a whole bunch of people that included a lot of ‘facts’ about intelligent design and young earth (basically, she said evolution was nonsense and that the world is only 6,000 years old ‘cause the bible says so). I sent her (just her, not her whole list) some links that dispute that and point out some of the problems with the evidence she said she had of the world only being that old. Some of the stuff she included was just untrue, and I thought she should know it. In the past she’s always been pretty reasonable and we could have these sorts of conversations, even though we both know we disagree!
In response, she e-mailed everyone in my family telling them that I am going to hell, that I’ve rejected God, and that they should force me to move in with other more faithful family members because I can’t take care of myself and that I might do drugs or other awful things if someone doesn't stop me... and I could kill her! Not only is that bullshit! That was really painful for my parents, and grandparents and aunts and uncles to read! Some of them are religious and some aren’t, but it was still frightening and hateful and upset them! My littlest sister was in tears about it and asking everyone why she hates me.
I’m really livid! I don’t even know what to do with this much anger. I haven’t responded to her, although apparently my mom had a talk with her and told her that that was not cool, but I’m kind of at the point where I never want to speak to her ever again! I just think she’s a nasty, stupid, little monster for doing that.
Does anyone have any advice on what I can do about this and how to approach it? I just want things to be okay for my family. I don’t need us to all agree, I just need a bit of respect. Obviously I’m never going to try and talk sense to my sister again, but what do I do now? (link)
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It's unfortunate that you and your sister are having this falling-out. I feel for you. It's also unfortunate that your devout sister is departing from Catholic doctrine and listening to heretics and heresiarchs. The Church's position on evolution is that science is completely neutral on the religious implications of scientific results, and that Intelligent Design limits and belittles God.(http://www.catholic.org/national/national_story.php?id=18504) ID has its origins in Pentecostal and evangelical churches, which are, strictly speaking, heretical in that they deny the authority of the Pontiff and most other elements of Catholic doctrine. Then of course there's St. Augustine's quote on not letting faith blind you to reality. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augustine_of_Hippo#Natural_knowledge_and_biblical_interpretation)
In your position, I'd contact your other family members and make sure that they understand that this was fallount from a dispute between you and your sister. With your sister, I'd refer her back to the links I gave you, and make it absolutely clear that your salvation and faith are between yourself and God, and it is not her responsibility to 'save' you. Then refuse to discuss religion with her. Change the topic any time she brings it up. Eventually she'll get the hint.
Best of luck, and I hope this helps.
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I just ended a 6 and a half month relationship with my girlfriend. I am 18 years old and a freshman is college, she is 21 years old who is not currently in school and has faternal twins the age of two. Obviously there is a good reason why i broke up with her. It has only been a week since we broke up and it is so hard. I love her and she loves me. What do i do? do i listen to society, my family and friends, the brothers of my fraternity? or my heart. do i look at my future or what. My heart is torn between choosing to date a girl i really love or what society tells me to do. She is a package deal which im not too excited for because no 18 year old freshman in college wants 2 kids. Also, she is still married to the other man but very close to getting a divorce. I really need some advice. Do i listen to my heart or society? (link)
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Oh boy.
Friend, I don't envy you your position. Breaking up is difficult at any age, and at 18 it's even more difficult because you're not used to the inensity of the whole thing. I've had relationships break off because of circumstances. It's very easy to believe that 'love conquers all', but often the battle is more than you can withstand. You and your girlfriend may be absolutely compatible in all ways. But if you're not willing to step into a father role with her children, then it's not fair to continue the relationship.
Then there is the matter of her husband. The fact that she's been dating you can give her husband leverage in the divorce. It's called 'alienation of affection' and can allow him to pay less in alimony and child support. If she's raising two kids on her own, she's going to need all the help she can get, emotionally and financially. You don't want to be the reason she gets her support reduced or cut.
Right now your emotions are very raw because the breakup just happened. It's like going through surgery. It will take time to recover. Don't date her, but don't date anyone else for a while either. Get the divorce finalized, and then reassess. Of course, it just might work; a young man of my acquaintance married a much older woman when he graduated from college. He was 21, she was 39 and had four kids. That was seven years ago; the oldest is in college now. These things can work, but you have to be willing to do them.
Hope this helps.
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What is the difference between a Messianic Jew and a Christian? (link)
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A Messianic Jew is someone who professes the divinity of Jesus Christ as the fulfilment of Old Testament prophecy, but still maintains Jewish practices (keeping Kosher, celebrating the Sabbath and Passover, head coverings for women, etc.) That's the simple definition.
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Ok, I am really really into rock. My favortes right now are Paramore, Evanescence, and Fly Leaf. I am into kinda dark music but not anything like worshipping the devil. totally christian person here, but i love the kinda depressing song. i like any kinda rock but right now im into metal. can someone tell me about a couple of groups that are like these. I like classical music too so if someone knows of any good classical music that would be nice too. Please and Thank you!!! (link)
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Have you heard of Rasputina? They've been around since 1991, and they do this weird, dark freakout grindcore stuff. Three cellos and a drummer, if you can believe that. An old acquaintance of mine from college, Zoe Keating, played with them for a while. Dresden Dolls are good too, though they're more '30s Brechtian punk rather than metal.
For a good laugh, check out Cookie Mongoloid: Sesame Street songs redone as speed metal workouts.
For good classical in the same vein, check out Carl Orff's Carmina Burana. Medieval poetry set to music in the 19th Century. The most famous movement is the first, "O Fortuna".
A highly unusual piece is Andrew Lloyd Webber's "Requiem". Yeah, he writes cheezy musicals, but the Requiem is a real departure. He's not stringing pop songs into a show here, this is real heartfelt composition. The "Hosanna in Excelsis" movement incorporates rock drumming and some weird time changes, and is a real workout for the baritone soloist.
And of course, check out Peter Schickele's work, both as himself and as PDQ Bach.
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quote?
im a big myspacer.
and i need some new quotes.
(link)
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"If you get into a jam, you can always eat something, blow something up, or throw penguins." - Jim Henson
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Well, lately i've been interested in reading (which never in my life has happened)and i've already read the books i want. Can someone tell me if there is a book/series like "Twilight"(Stephenie Meyer)or "House of the Night"(Kristen Cast). (link)
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If you're interested specifically in vampires, check out Scott Westerfeld's "Peeps". His other novels are excellent too.
It may be a little hard to find, but Chelsea Quinn Yarbro's "Blood Games" is good stuff too. Vampires in the Roman Empire, FTW!
Hope this helps.
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Is Ozzy Osbourne a sin or unChristian or bad to listen to. I like some of his songs but Im trying very hard to be a better Christain. Thanks in advance! (link)
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Listening to Ozzy is kinda like watching a horror movie. Fun, entertaining, and occasionally makes you think. Keep in mind that Ozzy was a devout Catholic for many years, and his lyrics often touch on spiritual issues. He's not as explicitly Christian as POD or DCTalk, but he still advocates love over hate and peace over war, as well as thinking for ones self. Nothing sinful about that. He occasionally advocates challenging authority, but then again so did Jesus. Music is music, there's nothing inherently sinful about it one way or the other. What matters is your actions. So get on that Crazy Train, Brother!
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How exacly do you kiss someone? (link)
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Sounds like a simple question, doesn't it? But entire books have been written on the subject. There are many ways to kiss someone, but they all essentially boil down to:
1. face your partner.
2. tilt your head slightly to the side (gets your nose out of the way)
3. pucker up, lean forward, and kiss something, cheek, nose, lips, eyebrows, whatever.
If you're kissing someone for the very first time, keep it soft and sweet. Just a gentle peck like the brush of a butterfly's wing. See what reaction you get. If it leads to other things, then great.
More info here: http://www.kissing.com/faqkiss.html
Nota bene: drooling is a bad idea, no matter how H4WT the other person is.
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