ask Ignatz



read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators



Hi, I call myself Ignatz after Dan Herriman's character in the old "Krazy Kat" comic strip. I'm 43, father of 3, husband to one, crazy about music and books and food and movies and history and martial arts. I've had some wild and crazy times in my life, and I figure I might as well put in some of my perspective.

I promise not to talk down to anyone or make fun,and I promise not to BS anyone. If you're old enough to ask a frank question, you're old enough to get a frank answer. Oh, and if you ask me a question directly, please be patient. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. My life's a bit hectic. :-)
Gender: Male
Location: St. Louis, MO
Occupation: Professional dad
Age: 40
Member Since: October 29, 2007
Answers: 327
Last Update: September 5, 2014
Visitors: 16168

Main Categories:
Cooking
Music
Love Life
View All

My husband always complaings that I don't initiate sex. I am a stay-at-home mom with two highly energetic, small children. I DO exercise and pay attention to my grooming/appearance but honestly, I NEVER FEEL LIKE INITIATING sex. What should I do? (link)
Some questions about you: are you not interested in sex, or do you just want to be approached and courted? My wife stays at home with our kids, and after a whole day with those two she doesn't feel like being a vamp. It's up to me to shake her focus from 'mommy' to 'wife'. And if the kids have been difficult, she may not even want to be touched at all.

You and your husband definitely need to be honest with each other. Figure out exactly what you need, and then talk with him.

Hope this helps.


My friend said that i focus too much in my school work and that I'm an anal. What's an anal? (link)
It's short for anal-retentive, and goes back to Freudian psychology. Anal-retentives (supposedly) were potty-trained too fast and are obsessed with order and getting things exactly right. It's not really complimentary, but it's not exactly an insult.

Nothing wrong with focusing on your schoolwork.(but that's the dad in me talking.)


Well...me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 months and all we have done is made out. Like he has felt me up and pretending to kiss me all over and stuff just like kidding and he asked "What if I was serious and I did that?" and I said "Haha I wouldn't take you seriously and I would just laugh" and he said "Haha yeah, I can picture that". But like, me and him are seriously meant for eachother. So I know we will be together until I move next year. We will HAVE to go farther by then, but we have more of a friendly relationship, like I would never let him finger me or anything because I hate things going in me like that but you know, ATLEAST feel up. In our type of relationship, it would just be awkward for us to do that. Especially since I gave him the wrong sign in saying I didn't want to go farther I guess. How do I get him to go farther? Don't say to start feeling him, because that would be double awkward since I have a phobia of penises.
Haha I know...I'm weird, and my boyfriend is weird to.
But I just need help on getting to see if we can go farther. We just make out soo much, it is getting a little boring!
I need some spicin' up!

Thanks in advnance! (link)
Who says you have to go farther?

If you're not comfortable doing something, don't do it. Simple as that. Part of any successful relationship is being comfortable with each other, and if you've got hangups or phobias about anything, it's going to create tension.

From what you're saying, though, it seems that he does want to take things further and is just waiting for a sign. You may need to sit down and have a very honest talk with him about what you want and what you're comfortable with. That way, everything's out on the table and there's no miscommunication later.

Hope this helps.


i need to raise my metabolism, badly. like, if i eat a lot i won't gain much weight. but if i try to lose weight, it seems almost impossible. if i seriously cut down on junk food and soda and did about 100 crunches a day and walked/jogged/runned for 30-45 minutes a day would that help? (link)
Definitely cut down on the junk food and the soda. Don't eat anything that comes in a box, a bag, or a can. Lots of veggies, small amounts of fruit, no white flour, white rice or white potatoes. Drink lots of water.

Skipping rope is great aerobic exercise: 10 minutes of rope work is equivalent to 30 minutes of running. That's why boxers and MMA fighters do it.

Another thing MMA fighters use is bodyweight exercise. Pushups, pull-ups, squat-thrusts, all the stuff you hate about gym class. You don't need fancy equipment or a gym membership to work out, just some time and dedication. Just eat clean, stay active, and you will see results.



hi, i'm 16 and about 5'8 and 170 lbs. my legs are really toned, but my arms and stomach are nothing but flab, gross! i've been out of cheerleading for a year now, and i've gotten so out of shape. i'd love to get into shape by thanksgiving and now since the weather's changing (i live in texas) working out seems easier to do now. does anyone have any eating tips or working out tips so i can lose some fat??? (link)
For upper body/arms, handstands are a great isometric exercise. You can even do handstand pushups, if you want something dynamic. Pushups in general are great upper-body exercises: there are various kinds that will hit different muscle groups. Look up diamond pushups, Atlas pushups, Hindu pushups, and incline pushups on Google.

For abs/core: here's some killer diller ones:

1. "Farmer" Burns Stomach Flattener- Stand with arms at sides relaxed. Inhale through nose without letting stomach expand (just gently tense to avoid this). Now force air down & outward WITHOUT letting it out for 2-5 seconds. Let air out slowly while tensing your stomach muscles even more.

2. Vacuums- Bend forward expelling ALL air out of lungs. Now without inhaling stand up pulling diaphagn/stomach under rib cage hold for 8 seconds. When you release let air draw in through nose. Do this for 10 reps

3. Tai Chi Waist Turner- stand with arms hanging loosely at sides rotate torso letting arms bend at elbows until they slap kidney area. This is done for 50 reps.

4. Back arch with forward bend & squeeze- With hands on hips inhale as you arch back as far as you can. Then exhale as you bend forward squeezing abs. 10 reps

5. Dynamic side bend w/isometric squeeze- Hold one arm overhead inhale as you bend as far to one side as you can, then move in & out just one half inch for 50 reps finishing with a 8 second squeeze of sides. Repeat on opposite side. {note: once doing movement you are breathing}

6. Hands overhead side bend- Lace fingers palms up overhead inhale bend to one side flex as hard as you can while holding 8 seconds. Do this 6 times then switch sides.

7. Trunk rotators- With hands on hips inhale hold breath as you circle around then exhale each time you reach start point. This is done for 10 then repeat in other direction.

All this will help you build muscle tone. More muscle will allow you to burn fat even while you're at rest.

Aside from all this, just eat clean. Avoid processed foods, white starches like rice, potatoes and white bread, sugar (obviously) and sugar analogs like Splenda or Nutrasweet. Eat lots of leafy green vegetables, lean protein, small amounts of fruit, etc. Drink plain water, or unsweetened tea for the antioxidants.

Hope this helps.


Okay, call me a loser but I like to read
I am a 14/f.
And I am supposed to be going to Books-A-Million today or tomorrow
Does anyone know and good mystery or scary books ?
please if yuo can, name more than one :]

-Thank you. (link)
Oh, no way you're a loser.

"American Gods" by Neil Gaiman is a pretty dark book; not scary, but intense.

Anything by Stephen King, especially the earlier stuff like "Carrie" and "'Salem's Lot"

"The Crying of Lot 49" by Thomas Pynchon (Classic conspiracy-theory novel)

"I Am the Cheese" by Robert Cormier (very tightly plotted mystery, with an untrustworthy narrator)

Anything by Donald Westlake (master mystery writer)

A good funny book, with some mystery and fantasy elements, is "The Neddiad" by Daniel Pinkwater. Lots of great little in-jokes.


okay, so i'm sure this sounds stupid, but i was wondering what other things i could call my boyfriend besides "baby" and "babe" and he doesn't like being called handsome
weird question, yes. but yea lol

thank you :] (link)
Call him George. As in "I will call him George, and I will love him, and cuddle him, and squeeze him..." If he's really cool, he'll get the Bugs Bunny reference. If not, refer him to a cartoon called "Abominable Snow Bunny".

If you want to embarrass him in front of his friends, call him Pookie. Or Twiddles, or yummycakes, or (my favorite) The Wombat of Luuuuuv.


hay.. i am doing a performance with a copulpe of people its a circus act. you know hula hooping, tumbling and adagio (human pyramind and balancing on each other) and maybe unicycling.

the point is that we need music to perform to. something that has a good beat and good music but doesnt have any words... does anyone know a good track we can use thats interesting and cool?

need help! thanks in advance xxx (link)
Check out any of the various Cirque du Soleil soundtracks, or Blue Man Group's "The Complex". The first track on "The Complex" should suit you quite nicely.


i need some help....anyone know of a protection spell against curses? (link)
If you're a Christian, try a prayer called "Patrick's Breastplate" or "The Deer's Cry". It's long, but it covers everything. Google the name, and you'll find it. According to the story, St. Patrick led a group of monks past an ambush that had been set for him. The monks recited the prayer in unison, and the men in ambush saw only a pack of deer. If you're not Christian, then check with your own religion for appropriate countermeasures. (eg Muslim, use the Hand of Fatima)


As far as the topic of breast feeding goes, is it really better to do that instead of feeing your baby formula? Does breast milk have any advantages besides beind cost free?

Is it true that breast feeding helps a mother lose pregnancy weight? Is it also true that breast feeding makes your breasts sag? (link)
Okay, here's two cents from the father of two breastfed kids.

Breast milk is best, according to the medical authorities. It has a better nutritional profile, it changes according to your baby's needs, and it contains antibodies from whatever bugs you pick up. You get a cold, but your baby doesn't because the immunity has been passed along. It's also darn cheap. Baby formula is static; it doesn't change, and there is always the possiblity of tainting (Nestle got into trouble in the '70s for dumping tainted formula on Third World markets).

Proper support is essential. La Leche League is an invaluable support system for new mothers, as is a lactation consultant at a hospital or children's store. My wife had a difficult time nursing my daughter initially, and we were about ready to switch to formula, but it all worked out in the end.

Not everyone can nurse. It can be painful if done incorrectly, and the mother may have physical problems. An option aside from formula is to get a breast pump: breast milk can be frozen for up to six months, and it may be more convenient to pump and store the milk. It all depends on your circumstances. Used pumps can be bought through children's resale stores or on eBay.

Breastfeeding can help get rid of pregnancy weight, but it's not surefire. It also acts as a natural contraceptive, but again it's not surefire. Your breasts will sag, as they will grow and reduce according to the demand. (My wife went up two cup sizes). Nursing bras will provide support, but some changes will be inevitable.

Ultimately, do what works best for you. There's no shame in using formula if you have problems nursing. But check out La Leche League in your area, and ask at local resale shops about lactation consultants.

Hope this helps,

Ignatz



I am very religious. I do not belong to an organized religion and do not practice any thing that is clearly stated and known. Instead, I choose different beliefs from various religions into a mish-mash of different ideas. For example, I believe that God created the Earth, but I do not believe in the Original Sin (Adam and Eve), from Christian religion. I am asking, since I do not have a name for the mix of my beliefs, what, should I reply when I am asked what religion I practice. I do not want to say an atheist, because that is not what I am. (link)
You could mess with people and call yourself a Pastafarian (worshipper of the Flying Spaghetti Monster), or simply a Deist, or a Unitarian. You can google the terms and find out more.


15/f.

My friend and I are watching Moulin Rouge and he said he was thinking of Satine and he was like "I wonder if she's thinking of me too," do guys actually think that?

i'd prefer answers from guys guys but I'll appreciate any answer:]

thanks in advance (link)
Yes, We do. We'll never admit it, but we do. If someone catches our attention, we'll moon over her and obsess over her, do stupid things to get her attention, and we will be completely intimidated by the idea of being rejected. Don't sell the boys short. It'll take some time for them to grow up and get comfortable with the idea of romance, but they'll get there.

Real life isn't like the movies; nobody will be perfect, so just enjoy the ones that come along.


Can anyone help me with a list of alcohols?
Like
-Scotch
-Vodka
-Tequila
You know, all that? What are the differences between those...and are there any other types?
(NOT THAT I'm GOING TO DRINK ANY!! I just don't understandd) (link)
(puts on Alton Brown hat)

Scotch is a variety of whiskey. Whiskey is made usually from fermented corn or wheat, distilled and then aged in oak. There are many varieties of Scotch: single malts like Glenfiddich, blends like Johnnie Walker, bourbons (American whiskey) such as Jack Daniels, etc. Making Scotch is a real art, and good Scotch is wonderful stuff. Bad Scotch will give you headaches.

Vodka is normally made from rye or potatoes, and is usually clear. It has no taste, but can be flavored with hot peppers, fruit, or herbs. It often forms the base for liqueurs like limoncello.

Tequila is made from the agave plant, which is related to the lily. There are several grades: cristal, reposado, aƱejo, and reserva. The darker it is, the longer it's been aged. Good tequila can be as aromatic and flavorful as cognac.

There's more: rum, brandy, slivovitz, akvavit, you name it. Check Wikipedia for more info.


i'm not sure if any other cities [or towns, as the one i'm in] do this, but every friday night at midnight at a local cinema, a theater company puts on the rocky horror picture show. one of my best friends goes almost every week, and this friday we're going. it's always themed, and everyone always dressed really provocativel/slutty. but other than that, i don't really know what it is. is it an actual show, like a play production, or is it a movie [although i know its based on the movies], or what. if anyone has any idea, that would be helpful (: (link)
Well, it's a movie. A really bad movie, as movies go. It was so bad that, when it was released in the early '70s, people started yelling things at the screen and duplicating the action in front of the audience. Pretty soon it was a cult phenomenon.

If you go for your first time, you'll be treated as a "virgin", lots of crude jokes will be made, but you won't be too badly humiliated. (I got handcuffed to a pretty girl. No problems there.) Go, enjoy yourself, have fun.


For forensics (It is not a team where you dissect bodies.) I'm planning to do a duo interp piece with Jamie, a guy. But we're not sure what to do. We've asked the sponsor to help us find a piece. But does anyone know where I can find a short skit or play skit for two? I prefer dramatic and psychological ones but any would be fine =)

15/f
Thanks! (link)
Check out a play called "The Changeling" by Thomas Middleton and William Rowley. It's on-line here: http://www.tech.org/~cleary/change.html

Specifically, do Act III, scene iv. Very psychological. Basically, de Flores is manipulating Betrice into doing anything he wants, or else he will ruin her. Great jacobean theater, and unusual enough that you'll get attention.


My 16th birthday is in 2 & half weeks. I really need some help on what to do. I know that some of you are probably tired of answering these types of questions, but I'd appreciate it. I live in St.Louis, if that matters.


I wouldn't want anything at my house, except for my friends to stay the night so anything fun. If you guys could tell me what your 16'th birthday was like, it would be greatly appropriated. Or even the parties that you've been to.


Thank you so much. (link)
Aha, a local!

Now, it's been mumblety-mumble years since I was 16, and the local scene has changed a lot. I just hung out at home with my friends and watched movies for my 16th birthday. We didn't have places like the Lemp Arts Center for all-ages punk shows (a great idea, if you don't mind getting your ears melted),or all the funky shopping in the Loop or South Grand.

Or there's the dinner theater at the Bissell Mansion, if your folks will spring for you and a couple of friends. Nothing like a little interactive murder mystery.

Sorry I can't give you more details without knowing what part of town you live in or what your interests are. Hope this gives you a place to start, though.


i have windows vista (and it sucks) and i'm trying to download fonts from dafont and i use winzip so after i unzip the font i drag the icon to the Fonts folder and then something pops up saying a bunch of chinese symbols then "this is not a valid font file and cannot be installed" whats wrong? (link)
You're right: Windows Vista sucks. You may want to consider using Ubuntu Linux; it's a much smaller OS, there are fewer compatibility problems, and most file formats are supported. Best of all, you don't have to pay for an expensive license that allows Microsoft to occasionally look through your computer for software it doesn't like.


i just finished reading frankenstein, and i was just skimming through it, and noticed a line that i never understood. on page 56:

"..became such a thing that dante could not have conceived"

who's dante? is he an artist or something? (link)
Dante Alighieri. Look him up in Wikipedia for all the details. He's most famous for the "Divine Comedy", three epic poems that take him from Hell, through Purgatory, and into Paradise. His vision of Hell, in "The Inferno", is pretty gruesome stuff.


name me some sad songs =] (link)
Sad songs?

Pretty much anything by Leonard Cohen, Lou Reed, or the Dresden Dolls. Portishead is good too.

But the saddest song of all, the most darkly depressing ditty of all time... "Gloomy Sunday". It's something of a jazz standard, Billie Holliday's version is arguably the best, but there are several out there. It supposedly casued a rash of suicides when it was first eleased in the 1920s, so much so that it was banned in some places. Have fun.


Is limewire illegal if you download stuff and then put it on your ipod? Because my mom said its illegal and if she catches me using it again shes going to change the password on my computer and lock it. So is it illegal? (link)
You can be sued for illegally copying and sharing computer files. You may not do prison time, but you'll have a nice court fight on your hands and plenty of legal bills. Some artists are releasing music under a "Creative Commons" license which allows for legal downloading; other artists decide not to prosecute fans. Check out the Electronic Frontier Foundation (eff.org) for more information about Creative Commons licensing. Also, you can Google "legal torrents" and find stuff you can download without fear of the RIAA sending you a nastygram. Or you can just copy CDs from the library.




read advice get advice make favorite read feedback advicenators


eXTReMe Tracker