Hey everyone, I have been giving advice on this site since I was 16 and have always been honest with the askee. I just feel that there is no point in lying as I would hate to be lied too and thats why I always tell it like it is. I also feel that when people lie - it causes more hurt than good. Anyone after honest advice - feel free to send me a question!!
Also if you EVER need additional advice just send me an email and I will get back to you :)
Dxxxxxxx
Website: debateists space
E-mail: debateist@outlook.com
Gender: Female
Location: Glasgow
Occupation: Writer
Age: 24
Member Since: December 20, 2006
Answers: 142
Last Update: May 7, 2014
Visitors: 11743
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okay, this is going to be kind of long since you need background information. my "first love" and i had been "talking" for 2 years but were never an official couple. he took my virginity and we've been through alot, we would never fully commit to a relationship and never spent any "quality time" with me, like we would hangout but we would never really go anywhere. but i ended up falling in love with him, but he was involved in selling drugs, and didnt want a girlfriend while he was living that life. so i would try to move on and talk to other guys and we would go months on end without talking then he would find out and try to become part of my life again only to leave once he was sure he still had me. well this started in 04 and continued on till now basically again we hadnt been talking for a while and i was determined to move on and i met this boy max. max is involved in selling drugs so i cant say hes better in that way, but he's affectionate with him in front of his friends, funny my friends and family all love him, and hes a total sweetheart. everytime i even hear his name i smile. now my "first" called me around newyears and got sent away to tennesse he came over to say goodbye and FINNALY said i love you back and i gave him my chain. he calls me everynight now, and really wants to get on track tell me he loves me, and hes finnaly opening up and hes been immature. blaise blaise. you get the point. well were together officially now. and why i thought this is what i always wanted i cant help but think about max. me and my mom got into an argument over my first the otherday and for the first time she hit me, i ran away and i ended up going to max and he stayed with me and was helping me out. i then called my first and told him what happened he made me return home. max then got kinda quiet, but later that night i txt him thank you and sorry and everything and he was just like dont worry about it i like you alot. and i like him alot too but i couldnt say that. all my homegirls think it should be obvious and im dumb for even thinking about max. i mean i waited two years for my first. but i was starting to move on and max just sort of had that impact on me, i dont know maybe its my fear of commitment but i think i really do care. but my first is opening up and i do still love him, but i think he waited two long. im at complete lost. at what i should do. i dont want to put my first down when hes already down but at the same time. i care for both of them. HELP! (link)
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Ok heres the thing I think that you will always love and have feelings for your first and since he is your first in both love and sex there will always be that attachment but honey I think you gotta let him go cause from what you have written and this is my own opinion it seems that he only wants you when he cant have you.
Max seems like the best choice for you in the love situation but in the drugs situation I would ditch them both cause one day you guys may be out having a perfectly nice night when all of a sudden you both get arrested.
But like I say this is only my opinion.
I hope I have helped and that one day you find a guy who will treat you the way you deserve.
dxxxxxxxxxxx
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Okay. So I'm 14 years old, but ever since I was 10, I've been extremely depressed. I don't even know why. But the littlest thing, say my boyfriend isn't around for a day, and I'll get mega depressed. It's only with my love life. Even if I don't really like a boyfriend that much, little things will make me cry, and I don't know why! I'll say I won't care, and I really believe I don't, but every night I cry and cry and cry. If I'm not depressed I'll often just seem to have no emotion. I try to ignore it. Is there anything I can do to stop being so depressed? I've tried doing fun things and everything...I just don't know, I've been considering suicide quite a lot, and I KNOW that it wouldn't be cool to do that, but...I'm a great student, my parents aren't bad, it's not like I'm dirt poor or anything, and I have great friends, and big dreams, but if my love life isn't perfect, I just break down. (link)
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Firstly not to be a bore but suicide is never the answer Im sure that youve heard this all before but it isnt.
Secondly you could go to the doctors and see if he would give you anti-depressants but I wouldnt recomend them as they can give you mood swings of the bad kind and also they alter your sex drive I dont know if this would effect you at the moment but in the long run it could.
Finally and I know that this may sound terrible to you but you could ask your doctor to refer you to a phyciatrist so you could talk through what may be the cause of your depression this is what I did when I was in a similar situation to you and this was probably the best decision of my life.
I may not have helped as my advice is pretty simple but I hope you feel better and realise that life is always better than death.
gd luk
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i have really oily skin and i use proactiv twice a day. i also use the jergens tanning for your face once a day after i clense my skin with proactiv. what could i do to make my skin less oily and does the jergens tanning cause oily skin? if it does, does anyone know of a face tanner that doesn't make your skin oily? thanks alot! (link)
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I have never heard of the brand that you have mentioned . But I am sure that Johnstones have brought out a face tanner taht has a cleanser in it. Also I would recomend the tanning wipes as they use less cream and are much better.
Sorry I couldnt be of more help.
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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how do you get nail varnish to stay on longer?? bcoz i just put it on, but by this time tomorrow most of it would have come of!!
it's getting really annoying now!!
xxx (link)
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It may be the brand you are using cause I used to use a brand that came off like two seconds later never mind the next day lol. I would recomend rimmel the dry in 60 seconds stuff is amazing it can sometimes be pricey but it works. If this is the brand you are using I appologise for not giving better advice.
Hope I helped and that you find a solution to your problem.
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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where are good places to get bikinis? (link)
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Marks and Spencers if youwant one that is expencive.River Island ithink also. Next is also a place where you can find bikinis and their sales are good too.
hope I helped.
good luckc with the bikini hunt.
dxxxxxxxxxx
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can i get anything from starbucks? im 13. i heard it was really good and stuff.. but quite expensive, too. but what are some good things on the menu.. that perhaps arent so expensive? like the coffees and stuff. i wanna try cappuccino cuz the name sounds good. does that taste good? also all those frauppuccinos and etc, lol. thanks! (link)
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of course you can buy stuff if you want to from starbucks. They arent that expensive so you could probably afford it even at your age. they range from a few pounds up.
So I hope that when you go you enjoy your cappuccino or frapoccino.
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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i need a song that describes my grandpa dying. somethign to say goodbye or i'll miss you or something. (link)
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There are a few westlife songs that you could try their seasons in the sun album or their greatest hits album hav a lot of songs like what youre looking for
hope ive helped and sorry for youre loss
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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ok well here's the thing........ i really dont eat a lot.... i just don't have a stomach that can take in so much food.... however, my mom thinks that i dont eat so that i can loose weight so she makes me eat more, and now she's convinced that i'm doing this to loose wait because i got into this fight with this girl the other day and she called me fat.... but pleasee its not like i took it seriously, because i weigh 105 pounds, and i called her a horse-head, so w/e. but now she thinks i'm doing it to loose weight and she's wants to keep on feeding me and feeding me....she's even like checking my lunch when i come home to make sure i eat, what to do????? i just really don't eat a lot, and i told her, but she just doesn't get it
ideas?? (link)
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try explaining to her that you love her and understand why shes doing this even if you dont.
If this doesnt work then try doing ither way for a little while and eventually shell forget all about the fat comment.
Sorry this isnt very good advice but your mum will feel that she is only doing whats right for her daughter
good luk
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hey! ok I have this boy at my school that I go out with and there is this other boy at my school that I really like and he likes me.. but I dont have the heart to tell my boyfriend that I like somone else! and I want my boyfriend to break up with me. so please help me! (link)
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You could just tell him as he may not take any hints you throw in his direction. If you want him to dump you then I suggest that you flirt like hell with other guys in front of him and if he still doesn't get the picture then ur gonna have to tell the truth
good luck either way
dxxxxxxxx
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Well I'll start it off like this...
Im 16,I went out with this guy named Steve who is now 17 about a year and a half ago. it ended cuz i cheated on him but i didnt mean for it to happen. anyways we both got into other relationships but i never stopped liking him i actually have more feelings for him now then i ever had in the past..i broke up with the guy i was with but hes still with this girl ..anyways we never stopped talkin and well we've hung out and done some sexual things in the last month and he says he considers us friends with benefits..but that he never has stopped liking me.. i wanna be more then that and he knows that..but i dont kno what to do..him and his current girlfriend dont really get along and are more of a sexual relationship..i really want to be with steve and i need any advice i can get on wut to do or try..thanks so much
boys name has been changed (link)
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I am gonna tell it to you straight and this is a fact you are being used and fwb is always a bad idea as you are supposed to agree that you are just friends no matter what happens so I would say that you get out of it asap
Sorry but thats the only advice that I can give you or anyone in this situation.
Good luck I hope you get out of it without getting your heart broken.
dxxxxxxxx
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My very best friend has been acting sorta mean like different since we first met. She acts like since she is older than me by a few months she can boss me around! I mean she still is nice to me but at times she can really get to my nerves. We never really fought but do get mad at each other. When she around other people she treats me like I'm not there and I'm invisable. I don't know if she means to do this but it bothers me. And when I want to sit by one of my friends she no I want to sit by her! And she always gets her way! She is real spoiled too but thats not really the problem. What should I do? (link)
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I had this problem before aswell and I dealt with it by calling her on it. If you dont feel you can do this face to face incase she gets angry then do it by phone but never ever do it by text. But you have to talk it out otherwise she wont realise what she is doing wrong.
Good luk, hope things work out for you!
dxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I'm still not over my ex after seven months. It still gets me down. So does anyone have any sad/heartbreaking/makes you want to scream/that type of love songs? Anything EXCEPT rap and r&b. Thanks! (link)
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michelle branches goodbye to you is great for the mood your in and aloso anything from her and her band the wreckers.
hopefully you get over them
dxxxxxxxx
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17/M
This is gonna sound really wierd, but my girlfriend of four years, has arranged for one of our mutual friends, a cute girl our age, to have a threesome this thursday...i dont know what i want to do... i mean, this IS kinda every guys fantasy, but i dont know if its RIGHT...you know? should i go ahead with it? i know my girlfriends not bi, and that shes probably doing it for me, but she seems so enthusiastic about it, and so does the other girl...and even if i go ahead with it, if the other girl is doing stuff to me, is it okay to show that i like it? would that make my girlfriend jealous? im just looking to try and enjoy this (i do WANT to do it) and not offend anybody i can...i love my girlfriend with all my heart, and shes the light of my life, i dont want to hurt her...ANYTHING you have to say will be helpfull...thanks...by the way im looking for girls opinions too... (link)
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okay if you wanna do it and your girlfriend wants too then thats fine but I think before you do you should sit down and have a talk with her first just be sure she is doing it cause she wants to do it as if she doesnt then u guys could end up in splits ville. If you do go through with it then obv ure girlfriend will want you too enjoy it but just make sure you spend more time with her than her friend so she nos that she is youre no1.
This is the only advice I can give you and also gd luk
dxxxxxxx
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ok well my boyfriend was over 2day and i had a sip of alcohol and he got pissed and he wouldnt talk 2 me. He is really concerned because his family has problems with alcohol and he is sXe for all of you who know wat that is. He was i dunno he was like dissapointed and well i hurt him like his feelings like he told me I hurt him and now i feel wicked bad. I promised him and myself that i wont ever have any more alcohol and well im scared. If you were me wat would you do?
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ok so wait a minute he got pissed and you forgave him and yet you take one sip and he goes in a mood I am sorry but if you dont wanna drink dont but dont for you not for him. I think you should explain to him that if youve not too then neither has he. If I were you Id tell him this and if it happened again then his ass would be so dumped but thats just me good luk
hope I have helped without insult
dxxxxxxxxxx
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Ok so I'm gonna keep this short and simple.. I'm in love with my bestfriend and everytime I see her I fall more and more in love with her. She don't like me back. I'm a very emotional person so it hurts that I can't be with her like that. I have stopped talking to her to get over her. But she and I dont wanna lose our friendship. How do I get over her and be her friend? (link)
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Getting over her will take time so this you will have to persevere with but if you dont wana lose her as a friend then you should still talk to her as normal only you could maybe focus on setting her up with her crush as this is what I did an it worked a treat
good luk
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I am still stuck on this issue. As you could see from my past questions, I need serious help with this issue. My husband does not accept me for my baptism. Even though I was like 5 and have not sinned and did not know the difference as I do now, does that make it wrong? I feel like I am going to lose my husband because of this. He will not leave me. This is my personal feeling. I want my husband to accept me fully. We have difference views on certain topics in the Bible. He does not believe certain things I have to say. He is always right. How am I suppose to know which interpretation is the right one? Was I baptised wrong? Should I follow my husband and his belief for the sake of our marriage and our future children and be baptised in his church? We are both Christians, but different kind of churches. But I only believe in one baptism. Should I not be baptised and just suck it up and go to church with him and forget it? I do not want to have to go to different churches and how could I raise my child that way? He will not leave his church and allow us to be "one" as marriage should be. I am willing to do this. What should I do? I am so lost. I don't know if I should talk to a therapist or what. (link)
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ok heres the thing If your husband has a problem and you dont about you both believing in different religions then it is him who has to decide not you wether or not it is worth fighting over. Everyone has different views and beliefs and if your husband can not grasp this fact then you should sit him down and assure him that you both believe in God and also remember him that he did not marry you based on religion but love. You dont need therapy this would just be a waste of your good money and time. If you can not come to an agreement then perhaps you and your husband should rethink your marriage.
good luk I hope I have helped and hav not been too out of line
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i hardly have any guy friends, and i'm worried about prom this year. how do i talk to guys in class that i've never talked to before without seeming desperate, too forward, etc. ? i just want to make guy friends and have them want to hang out with me on weekends and stuff, but it seems that every time i try to initiate conversation with a guy, he doesn't seem interested. how do we get close enough in one class period together when the teacher's talking to become friends?
i really want a date to prom this year, or i won't really be interested in going. hellppp please (link)
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I myself had that same problem however my friend hung with guys and as I tagged along I just started talking to the guys too. I ended up of course going alone to prom but since you dont want to . The best advice I can give is to try and talk to one of the guys you sit beside. Talk about anything like football or something which you may not be interested in but can research easily enough to come up with ur "fave" team. I f this fails I appologise gd luk with ur prom date ,btw if you cant get a date go any way cause even although I was there alone I still enjoyed myself.
dxxxxxxxxxxxx
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I get made fun of a lot because I have red hair so people call me firecrotch AND Im not very pretty. I look like a fish. Anyway, guys on my bus are always making fun of me..and I want to know what I say to them. Swearing isnt working - they just mock me and it just gives them a reaction. (link)
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OK SO HERES THE THING I WASNYT GONNA ANSWER THIS CAUSE i AGREE WITH THE OTHER COLUMIST BUT i HAD A LOOK AT YOUR COLUM AND i DONT SEE UGLY I SEE A PRETTY GIRL. ANYWAY i HAVE TRIED AND TESTYED THE WHOLE IGNORE THEM METHOD AND IT IS THE BEST METHOD EVER SO GOOD LUCK
DXXXXXXX
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Ok i have this sudden urge to talk to my ex boyfriend.Not really the plan of getting back with him but i dont know, i still love him but i want to know how his life is and im begginning to miss those long talks we use to have everynight.But i dont know if i should call,he has no reason to be mean to me but im afraid yet he will be.Should i call him? (link)
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oK YOU MAY STILL LOVE HIM BUT DOES HE STILL LOVE YOU WHO PULLED THE PLUG ON THE RELATIONSHIP YOU OR HIM? i THINK THAT MAYBE THE REASON YOU ARE WANTING TO TALK TO HIM IS BECAUSE YOU ARE LONELY. iF YOU DO DECIDE TO CALL THEN DONT TALK ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU BEING TOGETHER AND THE GOOD TIMES AND i WOULD DEFINETLY PROCEED WITH CAUTION AS HE MAY ALREADY BE IN ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP SO MAYBE JUST START OFF WITH A TXT.
HOPE I HELPED GOOD LUK I HOPE YOU FIND LOVE EITHER WAY
DXXXXXXXXXX
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I am a 13 year old girl and I had started my period a year and a half ago. My breast are still the same size as they were a year and half ago but I also started wearing a back brace because the doctor suggested me to put on one because I have scoliosis. But ever since I was wearing a backbrace (for a year & 2 months) My breast did not develop a bit. My question is, are my breast not developing because I wear a backbrace? If you know someone that has been wearing a backbrace did there breast develop while wearing one?
Thank you, i really appreciate if you answer th question (link)
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jUST BECAUSE YOUR PERIODS HAVE STARTED DOES NOT MEAN THAT THE REST OF YOU HAS TO ALL OF A SUDDEN SPRING INTO ACTION SO TO SPEAK. yOUR BREASTS WILL GROW IN AT SOME POINT ITS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME TRUST ME IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR BACK BRACE . LIKE FOR EXAMPLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS DIDNT GROW UNTIL SHE TURNED LIKE FIFTEEN. sO i SAY WORRY ABOUT YOUR PERIODS NOW AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT THEY WILL GROW IN.
hOPE i HELPED AND THAT i WASNT TOO CHEEKY
DXXXXXXXXXX
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